December 21.

"Goodnight, guys!" Jen called from the doorstep of Gram's house Sunday night.

Dawson stood just behind her, his arm braced against the doorjamb, his other hand resting on the curve of her hip. "Thanks for dinner, Pace," he added before nuzzling Jen's neck.

Pacey chuckled at them, 'the newlywed period', he remembered fondly as he lifted his hand in parting. "Have a goodnight."

"We will," they chorused and then slammed the door behind them in their rush to go upstairs.

Pacey turned to a tightly bundled up Joey and smiled, "See, it hasn't been that hard to keep up these dinners. I like Audrey and all, but it was kinda nice when it was just the five of us tonight."

Joey nodded distractedly, staring at the spot Dawson and Jen had just occupied. "Hmm, yeah."

He nudged her with his elbow, "Why the long face, Potter?"

She shook her head clearing it of her thoughts. "What?"

"You seemed distracted." He shot her an arch look, "Does their relationship still bother you?"

"No." She shook her head with a roll of her eyes and began to walk.

He gave her a relieved smile, "Good. He's not worth the heartache."

She smiled faintly. "I should disagree with you on that but I don't have the energy."

"You say that, but I know it's because you just don't want to admit I'm right."

"Oh yeah, you caught me," she said dryly.

He grinned at her, "Okay, so change of subject. We're all driving down to Capeside tomorrow afternoon, right? What time should I pick you up at the dorms?"

She frowned. "I'll have to talk to Audrey. She hasn't decided if she's going to come home with me or not."

"Ah, yes. You know, by the sound of it, she'd have a lot more fun with us this holiday."

"Probably."

"Okay, so I'm getting Dawson this DVD biography on Spielburg, a few CD's for Jen, what do you think Audrey'd like?"

She shrugged. "She's pretty easy to please."

"Yeah. Well, what about you, Miss. Potter. What does your heart desire this holiday season?"

"I think I'm pretty much covered this Christmas."

"Come on, Jo. There's gotta be something I can get you for Christmas. It wouldn't be right for me not to give you something. Especially since I spent upwards of forty bucks on everyone else." He gave her his most charming grin, "So out with it, what do you want Santa to bring you this year?"

She shot him a dubious look. "There is no Santa."

"Not with that attitude there isn't. You can't expect him to bring you gifts if you don't even believe in him."

"I'll live."

"It's a shame you don't believe in Santa anymore, Jo." He shook his head ruefully. "I remember when you used to beat on Dawson when he tried to tell you Santa wasn't real."

"I think you have a selective memory, because there was no way Dawson didn't believe in Santa. His favorite movie is ET."

He chuckled, "Okay, so maybe it was me you beat up...but the point is, you used to believe, violently, in Santa Claus."

"I'm a little too old to believe in Santa."

"You're never too old to believe."

"After that Christmas where I wished you would just disappear, my belief flew right out the window." She smiled.

He laughed, "Fine, I can't argue with that. So, instead of asking what you want from Santa...let me rephrase and ask what you want from me."

She tilted her head thoughtfully. "For you to stop bugging me about what I want?"

"Potter, I can't just get you nothing." He pouted, bordering on a whine. "That's bad Christmas karma."

"Get me anything then." She shrugged. "Socks. Get me socks."

He raised his gloved hands in surrender. "Okay, you're getting socks. But when Christmas day rolls around and you find a package of boring ol' socks under the tree, no complaining."

"You have my word. No complaining."

"Great, then I've got everyone covered."

She shoved her hands into her coat pockets. "Great."

They walked in silence for a few minutes. "I can't believe you want socks."

"What's wrong with socks?"

"Nothing. I love socks. They're great. I wear 'em all the time. They just aren't something you give as a gift."

"They're better than the vibrator that Audrey wants to get me. I hope she's joking."

He laughed, "Knowing Audrey..."

She blushed faintly. "It's not funny."

"No, of course not. Not funny in the least." He forced a more serious expression. "But...it's not exactly a bad idea either. I mean, you don't have a boyfriend to take care of those," he cleared his throat uncomfortably, "...needs. That's the next best thing, or so I'm told."

She arched an eyebrow speculatively. "Are you saying I need a vibrator?"

He shrugged a shoulder. "I'm just saying a vi--it's not the worst present you could get. It's better than socks."

"I'd be very happy with socks."

"So you've said," he shook his head ruefully.

"You don't believe me?"

"No, I do. That's what's so sad about the whole thing."

She smirked. "You'd rather I want a vibrator?"

He shook his head, "I'd rather know what it is you *really* want this Christmas. Whether it's something I can give you or not."

"You know, why stop at the vibrator? I should just ask for handcuffs too, maybe some scented oil. You know, all the sex toys a girl can ask for."

He rolled his eyes and sighed, "Fine, I'll stop asking. You'll be getting a vi—a you know, from Audrey and socks from me. End of story."

She smiled with annoying sweetness. "Thank you."

He shoved his hands into his pants pockets as they crossed the street. "You're oh so welcome," he replied with sarcasm, letting them fall into a comfortable silence.

Joey shivered faintly against the December cold. "How do you not freeze on that boat?"

"Three space heaters and about twelve thermal blankets." He replied, a corner of his mouth curving into a smile. "The worst thing in the world is getting up out of that toasty warm bed and stepping onto ice cold floor."

She smiled. "Good answer. I was expecting some sexual response I'd have to smack you for."

He smirked, "I haven't had any female company on that boat since this school year started. Rest assured."

"It's not like I care."

"Of course you don't," he said with a knowing smile.

"It's a hazard. Some poor drunken coed, who doesn't have enough brains to begin with, can just fall into the water. It'll be a loss. Sigma whatever would have one less person at the kegger. Depressing. Christmas would be ruined."

"And one less blonde bimbo for Joey to hate...it'd be a tragedy."

"I didn't hate her. I felt bad for her. She was on your boat. What does that say about her self-esteem?"

He chuckled, "It says she had good taste. Extremely good taste."

"Yeah, you wish."

"You let yourself think that. Just ask Andie or Melody or Karen..." his face fell and he lost his bravado. "On second thought, don't ask Karen."

"Geez, who haven't you slept with?"

"Let see...there's Jen," he ticked name off his fingers, "Audrey, you, the rest of the waitresses at the restaurant..."

She rolled her eyes. "Good to see you have a goal."

He laughed, "That isn't a listing of my future conquests. First of all, no college woman is going to be interested in a guy living on a boat with no foreseeable future ahead of him, which eliminates Audrey. Secondly, after the incident with Karen, all the women at work look at me with this "Oh, poor baby" pout which is completely inconducive to romance. Third, Jen and Dawson are happily ensconced in the honeymoon period, and after last time, there is no way I'd make a play for someone Dawson believes was his first. Not again. And that brings us to you. You, my dear Josephine, just aren't attracted to me."

"And here I thought you weren't above pity sex. You're just full of surprises."

"You know, I'm beginning to think you have an exceedingly low opinion of me."

"I wonder where you'd get that idea."

"I'd like to know where this bad opinion of me came from. I don't think it's quite justified."

She smiled. "I've always had a bad opinion of you, Pacey. You're just noticing now?"

"I think It's part of that whole being stupid thing..." He said with a half smile.

A corner of her mouth turned up slightly. "How can I forget?"

"Beats me."

She was quiet for a moment. "You used to be much more enjoyable when you weren't self-pitying."

He chuckled, "You caught me in a moment," he shrugged. "Do you want me to apologize?"

"For what?"

"For not being as entertaining as usual?"

"Oh, well, I guess I can forgive you."

"Now there's the kind and generous Joey Potter I've always known and loved," he teased.

"I try."

He smiled, and looked up at the sky, "Think it'll snow?"

She glanced up. "I hope so. It wouldn't feel like Christmas without snow."

"We're almost there," he said as they arrived at her building, "want me to walk you inside?"

"If you want to, otherwise I think I can manage."

"I'd feel better if I did. You never know what kind of sickos might be lurking in the hallway."

"I doubt there are any sickos in the hallway."

"You can never know."

"Yeah, some disgruntled Santa out for revenge. Scary."

"Just let me do this, Potter. And don't give me a hard time. It's Christmas."

She threw up her hands. "Fine then. Walk me inside."

"You know, Dawson and Jack would do the exact same thing. And you wouldn't give them this kind of trouble," he pointed out.

"It's a dorm. The worst that can happen is that I'll see more than my share of naked people."

"Regardless, I'm coming with you. And if we see naked people, all the better."

She elbowed him. "Pervert."

"Prude."

She pursed her lips together. "Bite me."

"You're gonna have to ask nicer than that," he teased as they started up the stairs.

"In your dreams."

"Every night, Potter." He replied, it was a perfectly rehearsed response.

She rolled her eyes again. "You know, I think I'm going to be safe now. You can go."

"We're not even on your floor yet."

"What's your point?"

"I'm not going anywhere yet."

"Lucky me," she mumbled.

They arrived on her floor, and Pacey followed her to the door with a smirk on his face. Joey placed her hand on the doorknob and glanced back at him. "Okay, I'm here. You can feel free to leave."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going. Call me in the morning and let me know when we're leaving." He stepped closer and put a hand on her waist to lean forward and kiss her forehead. "Sweet dreams, Jo."

She smiled. "Thanks."

"No problem." He smiled wryly and backed away a few feet, his hands in his pockets as he turned away.

Joey opened the door behind her and quickly ducked into her room. A low moan sounded from Audrey's side of the room, followed by a breathy sigh and an "oh baby".

Joey couldn't even bring herself to look and she blushed a brilliant red, mumbling an apology before stumbling out the way she came. She exhaled loudly once she had shut the door behind her. Audrey should have left some kind of warning at the door.

"Problem?" Pacey turned around where he stood on the stairs.

She gestured helplessly to the door. "Audrey has company."

He chuckled, "How far have they gone?"

"Far enough."

"So you've got...ten minutes. Fifteen at most."

"What?"

"Before you can go back. My understanding is that she works fast."

She raised an eyebrow. "And you know this how?"

"Audrey isn't exactly secretive about the details of her sex life." He sat down at the top of the stairs and patted the ground next to him.

"Oh." She sighed and plopped herself down next to him.

He wrapped an around her shoulders and pulled her beside him. "So, what's got you so bummed these days?"

She folded her arms across her knees and rested her chin on them. "I'm not bummed."

"Is it the holiday duldrums or something more than that?" He rubbed her back soothingly through her winter jacket.

"I'm fine."

"Okay, I wont push," he relented. "But just so you know, I make a pretty good listener when I have to be."

"I'll keep that in mind."

He smiled, "So, while we wait...let's discuss these socks you want for Christmas. Do you have a color preference? Style? Do you want those little toe things?"

She waved it off. "It doesn't matter."

"My, you're easy to please."

There was a long overdrawn sigh. "Yep."

He was quiet for a moment. "I think some funky orange and green striped socks would be nice. With some ruffles maybe."

"Yeah."

"With neon yellow polka dots. And a matching bra and panties set."

"Sounds nice."

He sighed and gave her shoulders a squeeze, resting his chin on her shoulder. She straightened up a bit and cast him a look from the corner of her eye. "Did you say something?"

"Just commenting on your underwear, that's all."

Her eyes narrowed distinctively. "What about my underwear?"

"Just pondering what kind I was going to buy you. FYI, orange and green stripped with neon polka dots to match your socks."

She shrugged and stared back down at the stairs. "Not like anyone is going to see it anyway."

"Actually, everyone at Christmas will see them. Not to mention every time you do your laundry," he tried to cheer her up.

"Okay then, no one that matters."

"And you want someone that matters to see you in the ugliest pair of underwear imaginable?"

She sighed and rested her chin back on her arms. "You don't get it."

"No," he frowned faintly, "I do get it. It's Christmas, it's cold and miserable outside, and you're lonely for someone to keep you warm at night. But that's to be expected, Jo. Everyone wants someone to love, especially this time of year."

She ignored him. "Remember when we were in high school and I told Dawson it was only a matter of time until my brain short circuits and I start bedding down with every guy with a fast car and big biceps?" She paused. "I think my brain is short circuiting."

He leaned back to give her a skeptical look, "You lost your virginity to some trust fund superjock?"

She shook her head. "No, but I'm probably going to."

He made a face, "Why?"

She lifted a shoulder in response. "I want to."

"Jo...no." He shook his head, "It should be with someone you care about."

"I think I'm just going to go with sexual attraction."

He winced, "You'll regret it all your life."

She buried her head in her hands. "Oh God, maybe my brain really has short circuited for me to even be thinking about this."

"It has," he agreed. "Someone special will come along for you, Potter. It's just a matter of time before some guy falls head over heels for you at first sight."

She sat up with an epiphany. "I think I'm just going to do it."

"With who?!" he demanded.

"I haven't decided yet. If I choose, who, where and how then I really can't regret it. It was my choice and how many girls can say that?" She perked up a bit. "It won't be an impulsive back seat of the car thing either."

He frowned, "And just what criteria are you going to use to decide what guy is worthy of you?" he ran a hand threw his hair. "I cannot believe we're having this conversation," he muttered under his breath.

"I haven't thought it through that far yet."

"You can't have sex with just anyone. If not with someone you love, than at least with someone you care about. Someone you can trust. Someone who's going to care enough to make sure you enjoy yourself."

"I can't be that naive and optimistic, maybe two out of three," she said thoughtfully.

He frowned heavily, "Why do you want to lose your virginity so badly, Joey?"

"It's something I want to do."

"I think you'd be better off with the vibrator." He sighed, "What about pregnancy and STD's? What would you really know about this guy? Whoever he is?"

"It's not like I'm going to jump into bed with the first guy I see. There'll be careful consideration."

"I don't think you're being careful enough about this. You're only going to end up regretting it."

"Fine. If I end up regretting it, I will. But I won't know until I try."

"There's no talking you out of this, is there?"

"Nope."

A disheveled looking guy, pushed past them down the stairs, stumbling slightly in his daze. "I think that was Audrey's date." He shot her a look at her as she rose to her feet. "You do realize I'm going to beat the shit out of anyone who touches you, right?"

"Don't." She smiled faintly. "Just think of this as your Christmas gift to me."

"I think that's asking just a little too much of me. I'm pretty sure Jack and Dawson would help me, too."

"Well, you know what? I don't need your approval. It's my life." She left to her room.

He groaned and rested his head in his hands. Worried wouldn't describe his concern for her. At least he could rest assured she wouldn't be able to seduce someone into her bed that night, and then they'd be in Capeside for a week. That bought him a week to figure out what to do about her sudden desire to lose her virginity.