"Aud-rey!" Pacey yelled back into the house. "We're waiting!" He rolled his eyes in Joey's direction. "Is she always this bad?"
"I'm coming!" Audrey dragged a duffel bag behind her. "Somehow I always end up leaving with more stuff than I came with." Audrey frowned at Joey. "You're supposed to stop me from shopping."
"The National Guard couldn't stop you from shopping," Pacey said wryly, taking the duffel bag from her and carrying it to the trunk.
Audrey placed a hand on her hip. "Hey, I resent that."
Joey turned to Audrey. "You can ride up front, okay?"
Pacey pretended not to hear Joey's words and closed the trunk. He jogged back up the stairs and swung Alex up into his arms, giving the boy a big hug. "You be good for your mom, okay?"
"Kay, Uncle Pacey." He ran out into the yard to say good-bye to the two girls.
"Thanks for having me, Bess," he leaned forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"You cooked more than your share of food, I think we're even." She smiled warmly.
"You're lucky you managed to survive, it's a miracle no one got food poisoning." Bessie shook her head and followed after Alex.
Pacey and Bodie smiled at each other, "Well, man, another Christmas on the cape has passed."
"Another year, another drama, huh, Pace?" He smiled knowingly at the younger man.
Pacey shrugged, "I donno what you're talking about."
"Those Potter women," Bodie continued as if he hadn't heard, shaking his head wryly. "They're a breed unto their own."
Pacey couldn't help but chuckle dryly, turning to look down into the yard where Bessie and Joey were hugging. "Indescribable," he agreed, his voice suddenly husky.
"They have this way, this special something about them..." Bodie pursed his lips thoughtfully, "They steal your heart without even knowing it. They have that most precious part of you in the palm of their hands...and you're left with nothing."
Pacey cleared his throat and looked down at his feet, "That's pretty much the way of it."
"It's amazing, too, how they can have this vital part of you and, while not knowing it, toss it aside. Or trample it into the dirt. Or break it into a million pieces."
Pacey gave a choked laugh, "If you're trying to make me feel better, you're failing miserably."
Bodie gave him a side long glance, "I haven't gotten to the truly amazing part yet, Pace."
"I'm all ears," he muttered, still watching the girls, with Alex at their feet.
"The truly amazing thing is when the wizen up. Because eventually they do, and when that happens, they dust off that heart of yours, or pick up all the broken pieces and, through sheer force of love, return it to perfect condition." He smiled wryly, "You never really get it back, you see, but at that point you never want it back."
"Hmmm," Pacey frowned speculatively. "Are you sure this is all Potter women, not just Bessie?"
"Yeah, Pace. I'm sure," he smiled warmly at Bessie as she started to return to the porch. "They have a lot of love to give."
Pacey held out his hand to Bodie and shook it firmly, "Thanks for the advice, but I'm not so sure it applies."
Bodie nodded his acceptance, "Only time will tell."
The corner of Pacey's mouth quirked up, and he smiled at Bessie as she slid into place beside Bodie. "I'll see you guys next Christmas." He turned back to the girls, "Let's hit the road, ladies."
Audrey waved back at Bessie, Bodie and Alex as she climbed into the front seat. She checked her hair and make-up in the rearview mirror and glanced back at Joey, who slid into the back seat. "Are you okay back there?"
Joey nodded and glanced out the window. "Yeah, I'll probably just sleep on the way back to Boston."
"Didn't sleep well last night?" Pacey questioned, catching the last of the conversation as he got into the drivers side."
Joey bit the inside of her cheek and stared out the window. "I guess you can say that."
"We'll keep the radio down then," he started up the engine, and waved one last time at Bessie, Bodie and Alex and pulled out of the drive. "Everyone got seat belts?"
Audrey rolled her eyes. "Um, yeah, dad."
He only smiled, "You know how I drive. Better to be safe than a splat on the pavement."
"I know. Did you have to buy your license or something?"
"My brother was the one issuing the test," He smirked.
"Speaking of said brother, why haven't I met him?"
"Don't ask." He replied shortly.
Audrey sighed. "Well this is going to be a fun trip."
"Glad to see you're in a perky mood."
"I should have rode with Dawson, because that wine might come in handy."
He chuckled, "As if Dawson would let you have an open container of alcohol in a vehicle he was driving."
"There's just no winning."
Pacey pulled onto the on ramp of the free way and turned the cruise control on, putting an arm around the back of her seat. "Yeah, why did you finally decide to come back with us? This morning I thought you'd arm wrestle me as long as you got to leave with them."
She fluttered her lashes flirtatiously. "I realized denying my feelings for you were futile." She smiled. "Plus, Joey asked me to."
"She did?" He attempted to sound indifferent, but ruined the effect by glancing in the rearview mirror at Joey, who appeared for all intents and purposes, fast asleep.
"I guess she knew she'd be too tired to attempt conversation."
"Yeah, I guess so." He focused his eyes back on the road. "She conked out pretty quick there."
"She was awake half the night."
"Hmm."
"Where were you?"
"Now who's getting parental?" He bristled.
She laughed. "Just curious."
"I was out."
"Where?"
He gave her a curious look, "Does it matter?"
She shrugged. "Just asking."
"I was cruising the streets looking for hookers. Found a great two for one deal, a blonde and a red head. Price includes hotel room."
She arched an eyebrow. "Am I supposed to be impressed?"
He shrugged a shoulder, "I know how you've been looking for ways to make a little extra cash, I was just offering you some price comparisons." He winked over at her.
She smacked his arm. "Not funny loser."
He smiled to himself, and glanced over his shoulder under the pretense of switching lanes, to check on Joey.
Audrey sighed. "I am so bored." She turned in her seat to reach for Joey's backpack. "I think Joey has her CD player with her."
"Go for it," he shrugged a shoulder. "Didn't you bring one of your own?"
"The batteries died on me." She tugged the book bag onto her lap and grimaced. "God this is heavy."
"You know Joey."
Audrey unsnapped the buckle and flipped the top over. "Let's just see what's on Miss Potter's reading list. I bet you it's something incredibly boring."
Before Audrey had the chance to check, Joey had sat up and grabbed her bag. "I'll take that. Thank you."
Pacey began to laugh, and tried to cover it with a cough as Joey sat back in her seat, her book bag clutched protectively in her arms.
Audrey smiled. "Good you're awake. Now I can turn on the radio."
Pacey met Joey's eyes in the rear view mirror and winked before looking back at the road. She scowled and focused her attention out the window.
Pacey popped open the trunk, and started unloading the multitude of luggage, mostly Audrey's. "Do you guys need help carrying this up?" The two hour car ride had been uncomfortable from the start, but by the time they'd reached the city limits, Pacey was counting the seconds until he could be free to lick his wounds in privacy.
Audrey deliberately eyed her five large bags. "Stupid question."
"You know, it is possible to make more than one trip, Liddel."
She pouted. "Oh come on Pacey, put those barely noticeable muscles of yours to good use."
“I think that was a forgone conclusion," he hefted the largest back over his shoulder and then took two more. "I always was a sucker for pouting lips." He checked the trunk one last time to make sure he'd gotten everything, "Jo, can you close the trunk? And have I thanked you profusely yet for packing sensibly?"
"I am nothing, if not sensible." She slammed the trunk closed.
"Lead the way, Audrey."
Audrey sighed dramatically as she pulled the door open to the dorm. "These are our last few pitiful moments of freedom, Joey."
"Better make them worth while," Pacey said wryly. "And short. These aren’t light, ya know."
Joey rolled her eyes. "It's only Saturday, Audrey. School doesn't officially start until Monday. You have at least one more day of freedom."
"I know, but we'll be back to rooming in our dorm room and dealing with the day to day drudgery of attending classes..."
Joey smiled. "Refresh my memory, do you actually go to class?"
"Haha," Audrey said dryly before a grin crossed her lips. "I'm serious. We need to go out celebrate our last night of independence. We should go out tonight."
Joey shook her head. "I don't think so."
"Yes, we do. Because as soon as we step inside this door you're going to become boring, non-fun Joey Potter." Audrey set her bag down and grabbed Joey's shoulders, giving her a firm shake. "I don't like non-fun Joey Potter. She's boring. We're going out."
"Now that you've decided this, can we keep moving? I have things to do today." Pacey muttered behind them.
"Nothing interesting I'm sure," Audrey said, releasing Joey's shoulders and picking up her bag. "Besides you'll never find cheap hookers here in Boston."
"There's always you, Aud."
"You can't afford me, Pacey."
He chuckled, "We'll see. I've been saving."
"You should save those five dollars for something important." Joey interjected, annoyed at their flirting.
"Good one, Jo." Pacey smiled over at her.
Joey looked to Audrey. "Are we done here? Can we go inside now?"
Pacey arched his eyebrow at the blonde, "Yeah, I'm done."
Audrey held her hands up. "It's not like I was stopping you."
"Right," Joey murmured and walked past her, heading through the door. Pacey sighed, letting his eyes fall to the stairs as he trailed slowly after them.
"Do you know what's worse than packing?" Audrey asked aloud as she came into the room after Joey. "Unpacking."
Pacey unceremoniously deposited Audrey's bags on the floor. "Okay, I'm outta here. I'll see you guys around."
"What's the rush?"
He tensed, "No rush. I just...I need to stop by the restaurant and let them know I'm back, get my schedule."
Joey barely managed a smile. "See you later then."
"Yeah," he murmured, turning to Audrey, he forced a smile. "Bye, Audrey. And thanks for the Christmas present."
"No problem."
The corner of his mouth turned up in weary smile, "Bye, Joey."
"Bye."
He quickly left the room, closing the door behind him, his steps speedy as he trampled down the stairs in his hurry to get away from Worthington College.
"Well," Audrey sat down on her bed, regarding Joey. "I think that was the angstiest two hours I've ever spent."
Joey shrugged and lay back on her bad, resting her head on her pillow. "Well, I don't want to talk about it."
"Ya sure? I'll have you know that I'm majoring in listening. And talking. All forms of communication really."
"I'm sure."
"You wanna know what I think?"
"I think that no matter how I respond to that, you're going to tell me anyway."
She grinned, "How quickly you're learning. I think that whatever was going on between you, and I don't presume to know except that you wanted to sleep with him and he was obviously thinking something different. You basically told me you thought he was in love with you...he probably thought you felt the same. But then to find out you only wanted him for sex...he probably thought you were just looking for an easy way to lose your virginity."
"I didn't only want him for sex," Joey muttered in annoyance.
"But did he know that?”
"I don't know what he thought because he doesn't want to talk about it. He just expects me to pretend that nothing happened."
"And you don't want to do that." Audrey tilted her head to the side, "Why not?"
"Because I can't do it."
"Can't do what exactly?"
"I can't pretend that nothing happened. I can't just be his friend anymore."
"Do you love him?" She asked softly.
She sighed tiredly, passing her hands over the side of her face. "I don't know, Audrey."
"I found out what Pacey was doing when your mom was dying." She admitted, rising from her bed and walking to sit beside Joey.
Joey sat up slightly. "And what was that?"
She met Joey's eyes, "During that time, I can imagine how difficult it must have been for you and Bessie. You must have been so caught up in it all, neither of you could have been expected to do any kind of school or house work. But do you ever remember the house getting dirty? The laundry piling up? The refrigerator being empty? Dirty dishes stacked up in the sink?"
Joey shrugged helplessly and shook her head. "I don't know. I don't remember that stuff."
"That's because Pacey took care of it all so you and Bessie wouldn't have to deal with it in addition to everything else." The corner of her mouth lifted sadly, "He's never mentioned it to you, has he?"
"No." She was silent for a moment. "He never said anything."
"I don't know," she shrugged a shoulder. "I don't think he ever wanted you to know. Bessie was the one who told me. He acted like it was nothing...I got the impression he knew you never remembered."
"I didn't." She frowned. "It was so crazy after my mom died."
"Which is completely understandable. I don’t think Pacey did it to get acknowledgment. What I don't get is why he never told you. He let you go on thinking that he wasn't even there."
"I don't know why."
"Maybe he just thought it didn't matter to you?"
Joey climbed off the bed abruptly. "I'm going to go for a walk."
"Do you want me to come with?"
"No. I just need some time alone.”
"Okay," Audrey nodded. "I'll just get started on my unpacking." She smiled comfortingly at Joey as she moved back to her side of the room.
"I'll be back in a few minutes."
"Okay, I wont throw a party while you're gone then." Audrey winked over her shoulder.
Joey smiled. "Good."
Audrey shook her head, her smile fading slightly after the door closed behind her friend. Joey was right when she told her way back in the beginning that life in Capeside was complicated.
Pacey moved around below deck, unpacking his one bag and going through the cupboards to see what food he needed. Now that he was back on the boat, the frigidity cold boat, he was acutely aware of how alone he was. He'd gotten used to having people around all the time back in the B&B. Having Joey around all the time…he hadn’t realized until then how lonely he was.
Joey stood outside the door to the cabin, watching him for a while before she spoke. "Hey."
He let the cupboard he was opening fall shut and turned, giving her a ghost of a smile. "Hey.” He straightened and moved aside to let her enter, “Miss me already?"
A sad smile crossed her lips. "Not at all."
"Good," he turned and jotted something down onto a scrap of paper on the counter, "I didn't miss you either."
She paused. "I just wanted to let you know, you were wrong."
"Wrong about what?" He folded the shopping list and stuck it in his pocket, turning back to face her.
She smiled, taking a few steps toward him. "It's not just lust."
"No?" He studied her calmly.
"No," she repeated firmly, stopping a few feet in front of him. "It's not."
"It's okay if it is, Joey. You made it perfectly clear in the very beginning that what you wanted was someone you were attracted to and you could trust to take care of...things." He shook his head slightly, "I honestly thought I could handle it, I'm sorry."
"That's true," she conceded and then smiled slowly, her heart in her eyes. "But what I got instead was so much better."
He licked his lips, his voice rough when he spoke, "And what was that?"
"You," she said softly. "I got you and it was such an incredible gift that I didn't know what to do with it, but I don't want to give it up."
His eyes fell closed and he reached out for her, his arms sliding into place around her waist naturally, "You mean that?" He opened his eyes, alive with emotion, and stared into hers.
She nodded, a corner of her mouth turned up slightly. "I don't want to give up what has the potential to be absolutely amazing, and it's not about sex or lust…It's you, and it's me, and it's perfect. You opened my eyes to something incredible this week. Something I was too scared to see, because it had the ability to change everything, but I'm not scared anymore, Pacey."
He bit his lip as he listened to her. Tenderly, he brushed her hair behind her ear, and tilted her face to his, "That's the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me," he whispered huskily before brushing her lips with his.
She smiled, cupping his cheek in her hand. "I love you, Pacey Witter."
He grinned, turning his face to kiss the palm of her hand, "I kinda think I love you too."
"Kind of, huh?"
His eyes glittered with mischief, "Well, I haven't really decided yet."
She grinned. "Well, I'm totally okay with that."
He kissed her, "Okay, I've decided."
"Wow, that was fast."
He threaded his fingers through hers, "It wasn't a hard decision to make. I lost my heart to you...God, so many times in the last week. At least three times a day.”
She brushed her thumb against the back of his hand. "No one said you were smart."
"Then I hope I stay an idiot for a long, long time." He rested his forehead against hers, a pleased smile on his face.
"If I'm lucky," she whispered with a grin, wrapping her hand around his neck, pulling him in for a long, lingering kiss. She pulled away, and licked her lips, blinking long eyelashes up at him, her palms flat on his chest as she urged him backwards toward the bed, “I think I’m ready for my Christmas present now.”
