December 26.

Joey sighed. "I don't see why we're doing this."

Audrey glanced up from Joey's foot, her own were held out in front of her, cotton stuffed between the toes. "Pedicures are fun. Plus," she glanced out the window on her left. "It's cold outside. It's snowing. Snow is equal to ice in unwanted places." She shivered emphatically. She held out two bottles of nail polish. "Now do you seem more like a Passion Pink kind of girl or a Voluptuous Red?"

"Voluptuous Red, definitely." Jen smiled, entering the room. "I'm not usually down with the girly stuff, but I wanna play." She sat down with a plop on the floor. "Did I just use the phrase 'down with'?"

Audrey winked. "Love you too."

"I'm a Passionate Pink," She said with a smile. "You know I do. Besides, the boys are playing video games. They've even got Bodie in on it."

Joey rolled her eyes. "What is it with men and video games?"

"I think it's the flashing lights and the colors." Audrey ventured as she handed Jen the Passionate Pink and unscrewed the cap of Voluptuous Red for Joey.

"And the competition. You two should see Pacey out there, he's out for the kill." Jen pulled her socks and shoes off and got settled on the floor, leaning back against Joey's bed.

"They really should just save themselves the trouble." She carefully began to paint Joey's toenails. "Just pull out their penises and see who has the bigger one, because that's really what it's all about."

"Hmm," Jen tilted her head thoughtfully, "Wonder who would win that competition...?"

Audrey shuddered. "I'm sorry, Joey but I am so not thinking about your sister's Bodie." She cast a look between the two girls deviously. "But, y'know, all those years with Dawson and Pacey. You two have to know..."

"Oh," Jen grinned, "I'm not so sure..."

Joey shifted back uncomfortably. "Neither am I..."

Audrey pouted good-naturedly. "Oh, come on. You can't expect me to believe that."

"Well, I'm sleeping with Dawson." Jen said, brushing paint onto her toenails. "So I know how big he is. But I never really got more than a few gropes of Pacey. So as far as I can tell, they're about equal." She gave Joey a sly look, "But Joey's known them longer."

The brunette shook her head. "We are not having this conversation."

"Why not?" Jen asked, "There's no harm. They never have to know about it."

"Besides you don't think they haven’t discussed which one of the two of you has the bigger boobs, do you?"

Jen giggled, "Actually, I know for a fact they've had that conversation."

Joey eyed Jen warily through her peripheral vision. "How do you know?"

"When you're sleeping with a guy...you'd be surprised the information you can...coax out of him." She shot Audrey a knowing look.

Audrey nodded knowingly and met the blonde's look before turning her attention to Joey. "So spill."

Joey shrugged. "I honestly don't know."

"Oh, come on, Jo. Humor us." Jen pressed.

She bit her lip uneasily. "Oh, I don't know. Pacey maybe..." She glanced quickly at Jen. "Or Dawson." She shrugged again. "I don't know."

"Don't make any concessions on my part, Jo. Dawson's pretty average. Which is just fine, since I've taught him well."

"Oh well, my money's on Pacey." Audrey added as she moved on to Joey's other foot. "I mean, have you seen his hands. Feet are very misleading contrary to popular belief."

"I donno, he so cocky, I get the feeling sometimes that he's over compensating." Jen said thoughtfully.

Audrey tilted her head thoughtfully. "Hmm...good point."

"But then, maybe he has good reason?" Jen shrugged.

Audrey looked at Joey expectantly. "Hey, if you don't want to voice an opinion here I'd happily go and find out myself."

"Oh, yes. Do that. I'm kinda curious, and lord knows Dawson would blow a fuse if I even mentioned that," Jen said with a mischievous smile.

"You know I'll do it too," Audrey sing-songed lightly.

Joey rolled her eyes. "What do I care?"

"What do you care, Jo?" Jen added.

"I don't," Joey emphasized.

"Audrey?" Jen smirked, arching an eyebrow to the grinning blond.

"A girl must do what she has to," Audrey responded simply.

"Sounds like Pacey's in for a treat then."

Joey raised an eyebrow. "And how do you propose to find out?"

"I vote for pantsing him." Jen smiled, "'Cause that way, we all get to see his package and have the added bonus of humiliating him."

Audrey grinned wickedly. "And here I was thinking of a grope. I like the way you think Lindley."

"Groping really doesn't provide an accurate picture, all those layers."

"I think I can get past the pants. I'm a girl. He's a guy. I have breasts."

"He has always had a thing for blondes..."

Joey looked between the two of them incredulously. "You both can't be serious."

"Oh, very serious. I mean, this is a question that must be settled today." Jen nodded severely.

"In fact," Audrey climbed to her feet. "It must be settled right now." She glanced down at her toes. "Are they dry yet?"

"Dry enough." Jen nodded.

She carefully walked over to the door. "I'll be back."

"No way...." Jen rose, keeping her toes away from the floor. "I'm going to witness this seduction. You coming, Jo?"

Joey thought about it for a moment before reluctantly getting to her feet. "I'd like to lodge a formal protest now."

"A formal protest, really? Not just a regular old run of the mill protest, but a formal one?" Jen arched an eyebrow at Audrey.

Joey gave her annoyed look. "I hate you."

"I guess, since it's a formal one, we have to hear her out, Audrey."

Joey threw her hands up. "Forget it. Just know that if anyone asks, I had nothing to do with this."

"She means, if Pacey asks...she want us to make sure he knows she wasn't curious."

"Pretend I'm not even here."

"You're not. Come on, Audrey," Jen tugged on her arm. "Pacey awaits the time of his life..."

Audrey winked at Joey. "Well bunny, wish me luck."

"You are coming, aren't you, Joey?" Jen asked as she waddled into the hallway.

"Yeah, yeah," Joey muttered going after her.

They arrived in the living room where Pacey and Dawson had been abandoned by Bodie and Alexander. "How's it going, guys?" Jen asked.

"Eh," Dawson grumbled, staring intently at the screen.

Audrey grinned. "Jen's taking off her shirt right now."

Two pairs of eyes widened and shot to the blonde. "Cheap trick, Audrey," Pacey smirked.

"Who told you to look?"

"Yeah," Dawson glared at Pacey. "You shouldn't be looking."

Audrey smiled smugly and plopped herself down between them. "So who's winning?"

"Me," they both said at the same time, and then glared comically at each other.

"Boys, please. I came here to discuss something important. The girls and I were having a little conversation in the bedroom."

"Yeah?" Pacey asked, turning back to the video game.

Audrey glared at Pacey and threw an arm around Dawson's shoulder. "We decided Dawson here has the bigger penis."

Joey almost choked.

"What?" Dawson's controller slipped through his fingers.

"Are you insane, woman?" Pacey scoffed.

"Whatever happened to seducing him, Audrey?" Jen grumbled, folding her arms over her chest.

"You were going to have her seduce me?" Dawson demanded.

"Not you. Pacey." Jen corrected.

Audrey shrugged. "Oh well. I could tell right off."

"I think that judgment deserves a second opinion," Pacey interjected. "Wait a sec, why were you guys discussing this anyway?"

Audrey waved the question off. "It's not important."

"Well, you're wrong," Pacey said pointedly.

"She is not." Dawson countered.

"Children, children, let's not get into a fist fight over this. Besides, the only one who could honestly say, isn't talking."

"I refuse to participate in this conversation," Joey interjected from her spot on the arm of the couch.

"Why not, Jo?" Pacey put his hand on her knee. "You already saw the goods this morning."

"Ooh, and the plot thickens," Audrey said gleefully.

Joey smiled tightly. "Maybe I'm just trying to save you from embarrassment."

"Ouch." He put a hand to his heart, wounded.

Audrey put a pitying hand on Pacey's shoulder. "Sorry, babe."

He shook his head, his smile confident, "Hey, ladies, I can't help it if Joey has no basis for comparison, Audrey is obviously blind, and Jen is currently too whipped to voice her true opinion."

"Actually, Jen wonders if you're overcompensating." Audrey glanced down at his lap pointedly.

He rolled his eyes, "Believe me, if I was overcompensating for anything, it would be my intelligence, not my body."

"Talk is cheap."

"You'd rather I display the evidence?" Pacey challenged Audrey.

Audrey nodded. "Prove it."

"Jen will have to judge, seeing as she knows Dawson's size and all." Pacey said, rising to his feet.

"Excuse me," Dawson rose also, "She will not."

Audrey clapped her hands together. "Fine. You'll just both have to do it then."

"Oh, no." Jen stepped forward, "I'm not letting you look at my boyfriend naked!"

"You guys are no fun," Audrey pouted.

"Hey guys," Jack appeared, shrugging out of his jacket. "What's going on?"

"Jackers!" Jen grinned. "Okay, I know Jack is bigger than Dawson." She cast a glance at her boyfriend, "No offense sweetie. And Jo," she turned to the brunette, "You've see Jack naked...how does he compare to Pacey?"

"Let me reiterate once again, that I am not contributing to this asinine conversation."

"Come on, Potter, we need your expert opinion." Pacey coaxed.

"Too bad."

"Honestly, Jo." Jack smiled, resting his hands on the back of the couch, "I've gotta say I am kinda curious."

Joey looked at him with wide eyes. "Oh my god. You're just as bad as the rest of them."

He shrugged a shoulder, a half-smile on his face, "What can I say? Gay or not, I'm still as much man as the next guy." He smirked, "Sometimes more so when it comes to these two."

She rose to her feet. "I refuse to perpetuate any of the egos here any further. If you want to know just find out for yourself."

"Forget it guys," Pacey spoke up. "You're forgetting she was born and bred Ice Queen."

"Jack." Joey called over her shoulder as she headed to her room. "Dawson's a close second. You can figure out who's a very distant third..."

Pacey's jaw dropped, "Okay, she was lying. I'm not a distant anything to anyone. Thank you very much."

Jen giggled, "I donno, Pace." She started back after Joey. "Really, all that bragging you do...makes a girl wonder if you can live up to it."

"If you ever get tired of Dawson, Lindley, you know where to come." He called after her.

Dawson hit him.

"Not that she would, hombre." He said by way of an apology.

Audrey looked at Jack with faux sadness. "Man, it's really too bad that you're gay."

Jack laughed, "Sorry about that, Audrey. But it's out of my hands."

"Dawson you're cute, but your girlfriend scares me. So I'll decline comment." She smiled at him.

He smiled, "I understand."

Pacey gave Audrey a pointed look, "You're still welcome to check for yourself, Blondie. I got nothing to hide."

"Literally," she responded with a smirk.

"You're just a regular comedian today, aren't you?"

"Geez, someone's a little sensitive."

"Oh, go do that girly bonding stuff with Jen and the Prude. When you're ready for the truth, just let me know."

"Honey, I'm always ready," she purred with a wink before grinning widely and getting off the sofa.

"All right then." He handed the controller to Jack. "Let's set the record straight right now." He smirked, and followed behind her.

"Ooh, big talk."

He let out a low chuckle, "Big is right, missy."

"I thought we've already established the cheapness of talk."

Pacey stopped at the bathroom door and gestured for her to go first. "We'll just be see about that, now won't we?"

Audrey waltzed into the bathroom and whirled around. "Okay, drop 'em." He shut the door behind him, and complied.






"Where'd Audrey go? Jen and I kind of lost her on the way to the bedroom?" Joey asked a moment later, returning to the living room.

"Um..." Jack and Dawson exchanged looks.

"She's..."

"Where?"

"In the bathroom, with Pacey." Jack finally said.

Joey eyed him with confusion. "What's she doing there?"

"I think he's proving to her you were wrong..." Dawson told her.

"Either that, or he's humiliating himself trying," Jack finished.

"You cannot be serious."

Jack shrugged a shoulder, "That's what they were arguing over when they went inside."

"Oh."

"We could be wrong," Dawson eyed her carefully.

"Whatever..." Joey shrugged. "I guess she can find her way back to my room."

"Right." Jack nodded, "We'll send her over when she's done."

"You do that."

"Okay, then."

"Okay."

"Jo..." Dawson asked carefully after a few seconds, "Are you going?"

"To my room? Of course."

"Okay..." Jack waited a moment, "Cause you're blocking the TV."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Her cheeks colored faintly and she moved out of the way.

"No problem."

She cast a quick glance at the bathroom door before looking back at Jack and Dawson. "I'll see you guys later then. We should go outside or something and do something sometime." She headed back to her room.

Jack cocked an eyebrow at Dawson, "That was weird."

"Very." Dawson nodded his agreement.

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