Joey glanced at the clock beside the bed and frowned, she'd been laying there for over an hour, waiting for Pacey to come to bed. Sitting up, she threw off the covers and pulled a short robe over her naked body and went in search of him. The first place she checked was the living room, and found it completely empty. "Pacey?" She went back down the hall and saw the light on in Hope's room. She pushed open the door and stuck her head inside, "Pace? What are you doing?"

He looked over at her, "Sitting in here."

"Aren't you going to come to bed?" She whispered.

He looked down at Hope in his arms, "I guess I could."

"I've been waiting for you."

He stood and placed Hope in her crib, "Waiting for me to what?"

"If you have to ask that question..." she teased, sidling up to him.

He side stepped her and walked out of the nursery. Pacey sighed and shook his head when he walked into their bedroom and pulled his shirt over his head, "Sleeping?"

"Eventually." She nodded, untying the sash to her robe and letting it fall open. "But first, let's finish what we started in the kitchen."

He glanced at her, "What was started in the kitchen?"

"Don't play coy, Pacey. It's not your style." She let the silk pool at her feet, leaving her naked as she approached him.

Pacey sat on the side of the bed and removed his shoes, "What is my style, Joey?"

"You know what you want and you go after it. Single-mindedly." She moved to stand in front of him, her hands on his shoulders, "I love that about you."

He removed her hands from his shoulders, "Joey, just, don't."

He brow furrowed and she took a step back, "But..."

"But what? I...I'm just not in the mood anymore."

"Not in the mood? You're never not in the mood."

"Well, I'm not in the mood tonight, okay?"

She crossed her arms over her chest, "I--Is this because of Dawson?"

"Why? What would make you think that?" he asked sarcastically.

She turned away from Pacey and grabbed her robe, pulling it protectively around herself. "I can't believe you'd be that insecure."

"I'm insecure? I think I have a reason to be, don't I? I mean, I go outside to tell you Jen called and find you and Dawson kissing. So if I'm not supposed to be insecure...explain to me what I am supposed to be."

"You saw us kissing?" She stared wide-eyed at him. "And then what did you do?"

"I told Jen you'd call her back," he said as he unbuckled his pants.

"And what? You went inside to sulk!?" She braced her hands on her hips. "Did you even see what happened afterwards?"

"No...should I?"

"Yes! You should have!"

"Oh...really? Tell me what happened! Did you declare your undying love to one another? Cause I'm sure I never would have wanted to see that."

"No, Pacey," she said, her anger rising. "You wanna know what happened? I threw him to the ground and fucked him right there on the front lawn with all the neighbors watching!"

"Wouldn't surprise me," he said under his breath.

"You bastard," her voice was low with suppressed rage. The crack of her palm hitting his cheek echoed through the room. She turned on her heel, her hair swinging out behind her as she stormed from the room.

Pacey stood and chased after her and grabbed her arm and turned her to look at him, "You have the right to call me a bastard? What about him, Joey? Does he get any fault for what he did? For how he acts? No! He never does!"

"Let go of me! I have nothing to say to you right now."

"Well I have something to say to you. I let Dawson say whatever he wanted about me. He said I was nothing and you know, in the past I might have believed him. But I, for once in my life, am happy with everything I've accomplished. His main problem is that he's jealous because I have what he let go. You're kidding yourself if you think he'll stick around for longer than a few months. He doesn't love you. He loves the idea of you. And if you do go running back to him, then you'll hurt Hope, and I'll be damned if I let you do that."

"I would never do anything to hurt her. Fuck you, Pacey!"

"You wanted to about five minutes ago! What's the matter? Huh? Don't like having the truth thrown in your face?"

"You're being an asshole! Why the fuck should you care anyway? So what, huh? Dawson and I kissed, what business is it of yours if I decide to marry him once we're divorced?"

Pacey released her, "Do whatever the fuck you want Joey. I don't care anymore," he said as he walked back into the bedroom, grabbed his shirt and shoes, then walked back into the living room. "I'll be back to get my stuff later."

She threw a pillow at him as he walked to the door, "God, I hate you! How could you think that I--" She burst into tears, hardly able to breathe.

"I don't think anything anymore. I'm through with this."

"I--I hate you..." she cried, burying her face in her hands.

"You hate me? Why? Huh? Why do you hate me?"

"B-because you think that I'm some--some slut. But I'm not...I'm not."

"I don't think you're a slut. I've never said that...I...I just don't want...I don't think he deserves you."

"What are you talking about?!" She tried to brush away the tears but they continued to fall. "I'm not in love with Dawson! I haven't been since I was fifteen years old!"

"Then why were you kissing him, Joey?"

"He kissed me! And I took care of it! Don't you know me at all?!"

"I thought I did...I'm...I'm just so confused here, okay? Dawson is just...everything I've always thought you wanted and everything I'm not."

"You are so stupid!" She wiped at her tears. "I could never love him, not when I love you!"

His mouth dropped open, "You...you love me?" he choked out.

"No, weren't you listening?" She sniffed, "Right now I hate you."

He smiled, "You love me? Joey...that's why I...I'm so completely in love with you...I was...scared he was going to make..."

She curled herself into a ball on the couch, "You don't trust me."               

He sighed and sat beside her on the couch, "Joey, I still have major issues about you and Dawson. His ghost carried over into our relationship the first time...I just...I don't ever want to hurt like that again. You probably don't understand."

"I understand hurt plenty right now," she pushed up from the couch and walked away from him, her arms wrapped protectively around her body.

He followed her, "Joey...wait. Look...I'll leave if you want me to...but you have to understand that when Dawson told me that he believed that I loved you...but he didn't believe you loved me...it was like a kick in the chest. But...that didn't hurt nearly as bad as seeing you...him kiss you."

"I smacked him."

Pacey cupped her face in his hands, "I don't want to lose you, Joey."

"You wont lose me to Dawson," she stepped away from him. "That you would believe I would betray my vows...temporary as they are..." She shook her head, "I'm sorry you were hurt by what you thought you saw, but you hurt me with what you know you said."

He watched her close the bedroom behind her and sighed. He punched the wall and decided it would be best if he left. He walked towards the front door and looked back one time, then left.






"Dadda!" Hope cried loudly, as she had been for the last hour.

"Oh, sweetie..." Joey tried rocking her, but the baby struggled in her arms. "Hope, please." She started crying herself, "Honey, I don't think Daddy's coming home." Pacey hadn't come back last night, it was after twelve already, and she didn't expect him to back now. "I'm sorry, baby," Joey sobbed, listening to Hope cry herself to sleep. "I'm sorry."

The phone rang and Joey answered it tersely and Jen sighed, "Hello to you too."

"Jen..." Joey bit her lip to stop the trembling. "Hi."

"Are you okay? Jack told me what happened."

"How did Jack know?"

"Guess where Pacey stayed last night."

"I bet Jack and Landon just loved that," she sniffed, cradling the phone against her ear as she carried the still whimpering Hope to her crib.

"They were more concerned with what happened than worrying about him crashing on their couch. This all stemmed from Dawson?"

“Yes," she sighed, pulling Hope's favorite baby blanket over her chest.

Jen sighed, "I guess he got what he came for, then."

Joey had to leave the room so Hope wouldn't hear her cry again, "He got more than what he came for. I'm going to lose Hope."

Jen sighed, "No you're not. I'm sure Pacey will be back. From what I was told...he said he loved you."

"I told him the same, but he still left."

Jen sighed, "You wanted him to stay?"

"I don't know what I want," she sniffed, another tear falling down her face. "I am so mad at him!"

"I know. But...I'm sure...to him it was like history repeating itself."

"Why couldn't he ask me, Jen? He just...he wouldn't even...he acted like such an ass."

"You know Pacey. He's stupid. He acts first, thinks later. That's always been his style."

"He thought that loving each other would just make everything all right," she choked back a sob.

"Why doesn't it? That's why he was upset. He loved you and was afraid of losing you," Jen said sadly.

"He's going to lose me anyway, Jen."

"Why Joey? You two love one another. Are you really willing to throw that away over an argument?"

"I'm still going to divorce him."

Jen sighed, "Yeah, I'm sure you are. Because you're just that stupid."

"It's not stupid," Joey protested. "We both promised each other... matter what happens. And...I don't know if I want to stay married to someone who can hurt me this badly. Who would think that would cheat on him, let alone with Dawson."

"Why is that such a hard concept for you to grasp? Pacey...he's afraid of losing you, but to lose you to Dawson it happened in the past, Joey. And if you let Pacey go, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Not only for yourself, but for your daughter. You love him. Yeah, he's an idiot and said some hurtful things, but I'm sure you did the same."

She wiped at her eyes, "I can't make him come back."

"He'll be back. You know it as well as I do."

"We'll see." Joey sighed, "Hope wouldn't go to sleep tonight. No matter what I did, she just kept crying for her Dadda."

The front door opened and Pacey walked in, a little surprised to see Joey sitting in the living room. He hadn't slept at all, just kept thinking about how he'd screwed everything up because he was afraid to say anything to Joey.

"He'll be back, Joey. Have faith in that."

She swallowed thickly, her eyes fastened on him, "I need to go, he came home."

Jen smiled, "Okay. Don't yell. Just listen to one another, okay?"

Pacey pocketed his keys as he stared at her. She'd been crying, and recently. He hated to see her cry, but he wasn't sure what she would want him to do about it. He wasn't sure of anything anymore when it came to her.

"Right," Joey murmured. "Bye." She hit end on the phone, and clutched it in her hands. "Hi."

"Hey," he stayed by the door, almost afraid to move into the room, move towards her.

She swallowed thickly, "Hope...missed you. I couldn't put her to sleep."

He stepped forward, "Is she asleep now?"

"I think so. She was whimpering when I left her, she's probably cried herself to sleep by now."

Pacey sighed, "Joey...I'm sorry. I really am."

"I am too," she blinked and forced her eyes away from him. "I should understand how you are when it comes to Dawson."

He shook his head, "I...I should know by now that Dawson isn't the fixture in your life that he used to be. You...you've changed. You aren't the same person, we aren't the same people we were back then. I'm sorry I hurt you. I...I never meant to."

"Yeah, you did. You wouldn't have said those things if you hadn't wanted to, but it's okay. I understand, you were lashing out."

He shook his head, "Joey...I really didn't mean to hurt you. I figured...I was going to lose everything...and...I just snapped. I was angry at myself for letting Dawson be right. I was extremely angry at Dawson...and you. I thought that you really considered this a hoax, that it didn't mean anything more to you than just a way for you to keep Hope and that as soon as the year was up...you would run back to him. It killed me to see Dawson kissing you. My heart hurt from that sight alone. But...it's killing me now to think we might not be able to fix this."

"I am never going to run to Dawson. Ever. God, Pace..." She stood up and started to walk the length of the room. "I don't know how to fix this, or even if we should."

He shook his head, "I love you too much not to at least try, Joey."

Her lower lip trembled as she looked at him, "I'm still going to ask for the divorce."

He sighed and lowered his head, "Why?"

"I don't want a husband." Tears gathered in her eyes, "Even if that husband is you."

He shook his head, "I...I don't get it, Joey. Then why tell me you love me?"

"Because I do love you."

"Then why..." he shook his head, "Why get the divorce, Joey? What...I don't understand."

"I don't want a husband. That's all I'm going to say about it. You knew this coming in...I don't want to stay married."

He nodded, "Fine. Whatever you want. I don't get a say."

She sniffed, wiping at a tear that slid from the corner of her eye, "Not in this you don't."

He nodded, "Then I don't see the point in fixing this."

She didn't bother to wipe away at the tears that fell, "F-fine," she choked back a sob. "When are you l-leaving?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. I guess..." he sighed, "I guess I can leave tonight and crash at Jack's."

"T-then--" she turned away from him, her shoulder's shaking as she cried helplessly, "You better s-say g-g-goodbye to Hope."

He watched her cry and shook his head. He walked past her and to the back of the house. He opened the door to the nursery and found Hope sitting up in her crib whimpering. Pacey walked over to her and she held her arms up to him. He picked her up and kissed the side of her head, and held her against him, "I love you so much, baby girl."

"Dadda?"

A tears fell down his face as he held her to him. "Yeah...Dadda's leaving, baby."

"Mama. Dadda."

He kissed her head again, "I love you baby. More than life itself. But...I just can't be here anymore. I can't...I'm gonna miss you more than anything."

She tapped her hand against his cheek, smiling her baby smile up at him.

He captured her hand in his and kissed her palm, "Daddy loves you."

"When you're ready bring her to our--my room." Joey said from the doorway, looking slightly more composed than before. "I don't want her to sleep alone tonight."

Pacey nodded, "Okay," He sat down in the rocking chair, unable to tear himself away from her. "She said Mama again."

Joey's eyebrows drew together in pain, "I'll probably never get to hear it."

"You will eventually. Seeing as how you'll be the one with her all the time."

"No," her lower lip trembled as she shook her head slowly. "I wont."

He looked up at her, "You won't? Why won't you?"

"They're going to take her from me," tears built in her eyes again. "Don't tell me that you forgot."

He sighed and looked at Hope, "They'll take her away if I'm not here..." he said softly. "We...I...I can stay...I don't want you to lose Hope."

She let out a shaky breath, "If this is going to be too hard..."

"No...we'll work it out."

"Are you sure? I can't make you stay."

"I don't want you to lose Hope, and I don't want to lose her either. So...I'll stay. Even if I have to sleep on the couch, I'll stay."

"I wouldn't make you stay on the couch," she said softly.

He looked at her, "I wouldn't ask to share your bed, either. I'm...I don't know if I would be comfortable with it."

"I don't see why this has to change everything..."

He sighed, "Because it does," he said softly. "You love me, I love you, but you...you don't want me in your life. I get that."

She bit her lip and turned away, "I'll go set up the pull out bed for you."

He lowered his head, "Fine." Swallowing thickly, she walked away.

Pacey sighed and looked at Hope, "It's not fair Hope. I thought that telling her would changed everything for the better...not ruin everything."