     
Off the Deep End
by Dannie and Rinny 
Joey stood in front of the cereal aisle in Molly's Market the next morning,
contemplating what kind to buy. She picked up a box of Captain Crunch and
placed it in her basket before moving on. She spotted a bag of marshmallows
and decided to add that to her basket too.
"And what food group might these belong to, Potter?" Pacey asked coming up
behind her taking the marshmallows from her basket.
Joey turned around startled and tried to hold back a smile. "The
'if-you-don't-put-it-back-into-my-basket-you-die' group." She smiled with
mock innocence.
"And we wouldn't want that to happen now would we?" he teased looking into
her eyes, his mouth curved in a soft smile. He couldn't help, but stare, she
was gorgeous. After the events of last night, just thinking of her brought
an involuntary grin to his face. Now though... he was unsure. They had never
really talked about last night or what it meant for them now.
She flashed him her patented Joey smile, before turning to put the
marshmallows back in her basket. "I don't know. It sounds like a good idea,
besides wouldn't that require some resuscitation…" Her voice trailed off and
she tried to hide a grin, her back to him.
He chuckled at her last comment and scratched the back of his head before
following her down one of the isles. "So what's a girl like you doing in a
place like this?" He asked with a southern drawl.
She smiled, looping a strand of brown hair behind her ear. "Grocery
shopping, Einstein."
"Right, dumb question," he paused with a smile, "You'll have to forgive me,
you see, my brain's been fried by this mind shattering kiss I received
yesterday courtesy of this beautiful brunette, have you seen her?
Blushing, she turned to face him. "Umm..." Pretending to mull it over, she
continued. "Nope. Have no clue who you're talking about."
"In that case, I'll be leaving to resume my search." He turned and sauntered
down the isle.
Joey smiled softly to herself. "Good luck, Captain Witter." She playfully
saluted him and turned back to her shopping.
Surprised at her nonchalance he stopped in his footsteps. Joey pretended to
study a box noodles and smiled as she felt his eyes on her. She sighed as
she placed the box back, wondering why she thought kissing him would kill
the tension between them; she had never needed so many cold showers in her
life.
He figured maybe that was her way of telling him... telling him something.
He wasn't quite clear on what. With one last longing look at her, he turned
to exit the store.
Joey frowned as she saw him heading toward the exit and before she knew what
she was doing, she called out. "I saw her! She wanted me to give you a
message!" Everyone in the store had turned to look at her, but she had eyes
for only the tall brunette.
He paused on his way out, debating on whether or not he should make her
chase after him. He figured he'd better make it easy on himself and stopped.
He turned and smiled at her over the isles of dish soap and laundry
detergent. "Yeah?" He yelled back.
She smiled. "Yeah," she said quietly.
"And?" He prodded, leaning against the shelves of the isle across from her,
a smile playing on his lips.
"And for some crazy reason, she really likes you, thinks about you all the
time, your face, your smile, your kisses...Personally, I think she needs her
head examined." She grins wickedly.
"Well that makes two of us. I mean she'd have to be crazy to fall for me.
But, I’m willing to over look that minor flaw."
She smiled faintly. "She said the reason she's been avoiding you is because
she wasn't sure if you were suffering from the same thing. She doesn't want
to be alone in this."
"Tell her to rest assured she's not. I fell off the deep end days ago,” he
said softly.
Joey grinned and put down her basket, leaning over the stacked tissues she
whispered. "I'm a horrible friend to her though, cause right now, all I can
think about is how much I want to kiss you."
"Hmmm, I kind of have the feeling she won’t mind too much," he said leaning
forward over the aisle to kiss her. Just before their lips were to meet the
cashier appeared at his side.
"Ahem! Could you not do that here?" the cranky man grumbled. When he was
sure they were a sufficient distance apart, he went back to the register.
Pacey whispered to Joey, "He obviously isn't getting any." Joey tried to
stifle her laugh, but failed. Her laugh was contagious and soon they were
both hysterical. Joey hurried to buy her groceries with Pacey at her side.
Directly behind them were Jack and Jen. They quickly sobered upon hearing
the familiar voices of their two friends, remembering no one knew about
their budding relationship. They exchanged a confused look; neither knew
what the other wanted known to their friends.
Jack playfully shoved Jen. "Hurry up, Lindley. The movie starts at nine.
Jen caught sight of Pacey and Joey ahead of them looking like deer caught in
the headlights. "Hey guys," she said a perplexed look on her face.
Joey winced when she heard Jen's voice, and turned to face her. "Hey, Jen.
Jack."
Jack nodded his head. "Joey. Pacey."
Pacey looked to Joey, but couldn't meet her eyes. "So what're you guys up to
tonight?" Pacey asked, trying to cover his nervousness.
Jack playfully swung his arm over Jen's shoulder. "Jen and I were planning
on passing by the Rialto, she wants to see Magnolia. What brings you and
Joey here?"
Joey smiled at Jack as they spoke. "We just ran into each other," she said,
motioning to Pacey.
"Hey, if you guys aren't busy we could catch the movie together." Jen
invited.
Joey's eyes widened in alarm, but she quickly composed herself before
turning to Jen. "Nah, it's been a long day. I'm about ready to call it a
night." She yawned for the extra emphasis.
"Ya know... I think I just might join you guys. If that's okay with you,"
Pacey said.
Joey stepped on his foot nonchalantly. "Well, then I'll see you guys.
Bessie's waiting." She smiled and waved good-bye before heading off.
Jack grinned. "Fine with me, the more the merrier. See ya, Joey."
"Bye Jo." Jen said. "She was kind of acting weird." She added to Pacey and
Jack. Pacey followed Joey with his eyes.
Jack shrugged. "I'll call her later." He glanced at his watch. "C'mon it's
already a quarter to nine."
Pacey watched her climb into her truck and waited for them to pull out
before he caught up with Jack and Jen who by that time were two blocks ahead
of him.
Later that evening Joey restlessly shifted in her bed unable to sleep. With
a resigned huff, she got up and wrapped her blanket around herself, padding
over to the newest addition to the Potter house. She sighed and crossed her
fingers hoping everything would be fine.
Pacey stood just outside the Potter B&B, his hands stuffed into his jacket.
He wasn't sure what brought him there at 11pm at night, but he couldn't stay
away. He could see faintly from the few lights that were on. He stood there
contemplating what his next move would be. He hadn't exactly gone there with
a plan... he thought about turning around and going back home. What had
possessed him to even show up there at that time of night? It was stupid of
him really. He resolved to leave... but his feet wouldn't listen.
Joey shivered involuntarily, her gaze turning to the open window; it's
curtains billowing in the breeze. She padded over and stuck her head out
enjoying the cool air against her slightly warm skin. Pacey jumped at the
site of Joey at the window. She hadn't noticed him yet. He stood as still as
possible as he debated whether he should do something.
She closed her eyes and let her hair billow in the breeze. Gradually,
opening them she looked up at the sky, billions of stars scattered the
darkness and Joey smiled. Some nights where just perfect. Her eyes adjusted
to the darkness and her heart nearly leapt out of her chest when she noticed
someone standing in the shadows. "W-who's there?" she called out shakily. "I
h-have a dog, a big one and my husband's a football player and he's tall and
strong and he can hurt you!"
"You married Cliff Elliot? And why wasn't I informed?" He called out
indignantly, "I would have made a great bridesmaid." He joked, stepping into
the light shining from the house.
Joey smirked, quickly regaining herself. "I don't know...yellow is so not
your color."
He grimaced. "You chose yellow for your bridesmaids? You're right about one
thing though... yellow is definitely not my color. Dawson, however..." He
trailed off, he was know standing directly below the window. "I could
definitely see in yellow taffeta."
Joey laughed. "So what brings you here?"
"I was in the neighborhood scoping out the nightlife, thought I'd stop by."
He answered resting his arms on the windowsill. It came about chest high on
him; he rested his chin on his arms and looked up at her eyes.
She leaned forward resting her elbow on the sill and propping her head on
her hand. She smiled, her heart racing a million miles a minute and so far
they were only talking. "Yes, the nightlife of my front yard must be very
interesting."
"Hey, don't knock it. The gentle sound of the creek, warm evening breeze,
the crickets and other nameless bugs all a buzzin', the occasional squirrel
or chipmunk. It's quite entertaining."
She grinned. "How was the movie?"
"Pretty bad, I don't see much point of going to a chick-flick unless you
have a chick with you. That's the only reason for a guy to go."
Joey sighed and glanced down at the ground. "W-we need to talk..."
The smile fell from Pacey's face. "I knew this was coming... It's only been
one day," he muttered. He took a few steps away from the window. "Right, so
talk."
"I've been thinking, that maybe this isn't going to work out," her voice
low, she refused to look at him.
"I could further the heartache and ask why... but the reasons are plainly
obvious." He continued, bitterness in his voice, "It's just too much for you
to even try and forget about him..." Seeing the shocked look pass over her
face, "I should go now, before this gets uglier than it has to."
Joey laughed bitterly. "It always goes back to Dawson doesn't it." She
sighed. "For once, this has nothing to do with Dawson, it's me."
"Exactly... It's your feelings for him that are getting in the way
here. I would thank you for telling me now, except that the damage has
already been done." With that, he turned shaking his head in disgust.
Joey eyes widened and she deftly slipped out of her window. "Get it through
that thick skull of yours, that I do not have any feelings for Dawson unless
they concern friendship." She seethed angrily. "Don't think I don't see
through your pathetic ploy to use Dawson as an excuse, because you're just
as scared as I am about this, but at least I admit it!"
"I'll be the first to admit I'm scared!" he yelled back at her, "I'm scared
out of my mind!" His voice softened, "I'm just not willing to let you slip
through my fingers because of that fear."
Joey's eyes widened in disbelief and she wrapped her arms around herself,
more for comfort then to block the cold. "I wish it were easier, but it's
not." She shook her head sadly. "It's not simple. Today, earlier at the
supermarket, it was perfect," she motioned to herself and then to Pacey, "I
mean I was ready to jump you right there, and then seeing Jen and Jack just
reminded me of how many people we'd be hurting."
He closed his eyes at the reminder, he knew what she said had validity. When
he opened them, again he looked morosely into her eyes, "Being with you will
hurt more people than being apart will hurt us." He said, understanding what
she was saying. "I don't want to hurt them any more than you do. But isn't
there some way?" He said urgency in his dark smoldering eyes.
She sighed. "We're stuck, damned if we do, damned if we don't...Quite the
dilemma." She laughed slightly and sank down onto the grass. "So any
suggestions?"
"I suggest we do the deed right here and now. Forget all about our
convoluted lives and lose ourselves in one another..." he smiled faintly at
the thought, "then we can run away to Fiji, you can become a cleaning woman
for the Hotel 6 and I can tend bar for the over-wealthy, over-weight stock
holders away on vacation with their 18 year old mistresses."
"Ha, ha, ha...No. Be serious here, Pacey." Her light brown eyes pleading
with his, "Though the us doing the deed part, doesn't sound so bad," she
teased. "In all due seriousness though, we have to think of something,
there's no way to keep this from everybody." She sighed and played with a
blade of grass in her hand.
"Who says I wasn't being serious?" He said with a straight face. He broke
into a grin moments later and leaned back on the grass. "If we tell them we
might as well be together. That's not going to hurt any less."
She smiled softly. "It's just that I know Dawson and when we tell him you
better make sure there aren't any sharp objects around and Andie..." her
voice trailed off and she closed her eyes, distressed.
"Tell them? You have to be kidding... I'll tell them if and when we get
together. Otherwise, what's the point? Dawson and Andie and Jen still feel
hurt and betrayed, you and I will still be... and the only one who gets away
scott-free is Jack."
She rubbed her hands over her arms. "It's cold." She turned away and faced
the rapidly running creek. "Things between Dawson and I have been so shaky
lately, it's like we've been walking a tightrope..." her voice broke. "I
don't want him to hate me."
Pacey shimmied out of his coat and put it around her shoulders. Tentatively
he slid his arm around her. "No matter what happens between you and
Dawson...ever... he'll never hate you."
Joey's eyes threatened tears and she leaned against him. "How do you know
that? She whispered.
"How could anyone hate you?" he said softly, brushing her hair gently to the
side. "Dawson loves you, Joey," he choked out, hating to say the words,
knowing they were the truth. "He could never hate you. The two of you are
connected inexplicably, you always have been, and always will be."
She smiled softly and sunk down further into him. "We can be two connected
people that hate each other."
He chuckled, "I shall refer to my earlier comment, 'how could anyone hate
you?'"
She sighed and looked up at him, staring into his eyes. "Well, you hated
me..."
"I never hated you, Josephine. You on the other hand... you couldn't stand
me, I thought you wouldn't rest until you had my head on a stick."
Joey's mouth dropped open in shock and her eyes widened. "I never hated you,
I just extremely disliked you," she teased. "Besides wasn't your mission in
life to annoy the hell out of me?" She countered.
"Hey," he defended, "I was just testing the limits. Besides, that's just the
way we were. And it was completely your fault." Joey eyes widened and her
jaw fell open, she stared at him in awe. "Don't give me that look! It was...
you only had room in your life for one best friend. It just so happens he
wasn't me."
She shook her head, face flushed. She looped a strand of brown hair behind
her ear. "Yes and you were too busy to be a friend due to your endeavors
with Capeside High's faculty members."
"Hey now, this started way before I even met Tammy. You can't use that
against me."
She shrugged. "Well, we're friends now."
"No, Princess, we're not friends, we're not enemies, we're not lovers, we're
not... anything," he said at a loss.
She sighed sadly and intertwined her fingers through his. "Well, then we're
just two people sitting here..." She looked up at him staring into his deep
eyes, "Who mean absolutely nothing to each other," she finished softly. She
stood up. "I should go, it's getting late."
He rose with her, "This isn't an answer, Jo. We can't just leave it like
this..."
"Well, what do you want me to do, Pacey?" She sighed, she was tired, tired
of all the questions, tired of them not going anywhere and tired of wanting
him so bad that it hurt.
He spoke slowly and with conviction, "I want you to love me."
She bit her bottom lip apprehensively and lowered her gaze to her feet; her
arms were firmly attached to her hips. She felt the tears come to her eyes
and she stood motionless unable to speak, not knowing what to say. "P-Pacey,
I'm s-"
"Don't tell me you're sorry. You asked me what I wanted... and that's what I
want. Don't tell me you're sorry... 'Cause I'm not."
She looked up at him, tears falling freely now. She nodded slowly, stood up
on her tiptoes and gently brushed her lips against his cheek. "Good-night,
Pacey," she whispered softly.
"I love you, Joey."
She shook her head, sadly and her eyelids fluttered shut. She pulled him in
for a hug, wrapping her arms around his neck. She felt her warm tears fall
against her cheek. "Don't make me answer now, Pacey." She whispered, not
bothering to wipe her eyes.
"I wont ever make you give me an answer. I already know what it is." He
choked out, despair heavy in his eyes. "Good-bye, Joey."
She pressed her face into his neck, inhaling deeply what could only be
described as him. "Don't go yet," she mumbled. "Stay with me…like
this...just for a little while," she pleaded.
He groaned, unable to tear himself away from her. "I have to Jo, I have to.
Every additional minute I spend with you... makes it more unbearable to know
we can't be together." He stroked her hair and gently pushed her away. "I
have to leave... have to..."
She smiled sadly and sniffled. "I understand," she quickly began to wipe
away her tears. She moved closer and brushed her lips lightly against his.
"Good bye, Pacey."
Pacey watched her scurry inside; the physical sensation of his heartbreaking
left him short of breath. He turned with finality and started the walk home,
head hanging.
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