Pacey pulled out of the Jen's driveway and onto the street. "You gonna be ok, Potter?" He asked, his eyes flickering to her.

Joey nodded. "I think so, just lower a window."

He pressed the button that automatically lowered her window. "Should I call Dawson or something?"

She frowned and leaned her head back. "Why, what's he going to do?"

"I donno, come to the rescue and save the day, like he usually does."

Joey laughed. "Ha! That's a good one. If you think you'd be able to pry him from work, feel free."

"Why wouldn't he want to drop everything if he knew you were sick?" Pacey asked, keeping his voice emotionless as possible.

Joey's voice lowered an octave and she took on a stern tone. "Because there's deadlines to be met and big important settlements to be made." She sighed. "Last time I was sick it was me and a can of chicken noodle."

"Prick," he muttered under his breath. "Dawson never was known for his selflessness. Even so, he should have done something for you in your incapacitated state."

Joey smiled bitterly. "He sent flowers. He was afraid of getting sick himself."

"What a dick. You're right, he probably wouldn't be much of a help if I called him. I guess it's just you and me, Potter." He pulled into her driveway and shifted the car into park.

Joey felt a little uneasy feeling some need to justify Dawson's actions. "I understand though," she amended quickly. "He's just busy and loves what he does. I really don't mind it when he has to bury himself in his work. I completely understand and support him." She winced at how rehearsed that sounded.

"Oh, you do, do you?" Pacey gave her a sidelong look. "Then explain to me why."

She glanced at her hands hating the look in his eyes. "Why what?"

"Why he'd rather work than take care of you. You said you understand, so explain it to me. Because for the life of me, I don't."

Joey sighed. "It's just complicated that's all."

He shifted in his seat so he could see her better, "I don't see how it's complicated. Why don't you explain, that part of it to me."

Joey frowned. "I don't need Dawson to take care of me. I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself."

"Whether or not you're capable isn't in question. Why he'd rather be working then at your side is."

Joey sighed. "I already told you, Pacey. He doesn't want to get sick."

"That's no excuse. Besides that doesn't explain his reluctance to help with the wedding."

Joey looked out the fog covered window toward the B&B. "He's too busy to help."

"So I noticed, but why?"

"Big case," Joey offered.

"You sound so sure." He looked out the windshield frustrated.

"I have to be."

He sighed and nodded. He knew she wouldn't say anymore about it. At least not tonight. He opened the door and got out of the car, going around to he side and opening the door. "Come on, Potter."

Joey climbed out easily her legs still a bit unsteady. She ran a hair through her hair doggedly. "Oh God, I hope Bessie doesn't see me. She'll kill me. What time is it?"

Pacey checked his watch, "Only eleven."

Joey nodded and stumbled up the steps clumsily. Her hands searched her purse for her keys. She cursed to herself as her purse and all it's contents scattered to the floor. She fell onto hands and knees to retrieve the articles. Pacey was at her side, gathering her items and placing them back in her purse while she unlocked the door.

She whirled around and grabbed her purse from him. "So, um, thanks for the ride."

"No problem. Are you sure you'll be okay?"

Joey shook her head vehemently, her eyes wild. "I'm fine. I'll be fine. Might have a killer hang over in the morning though."

"Okay," He said slowly. "Give me a call if you need anything."

Joey nodded and licked her dry lips nervously. She forced a smile. "Okay. Will do."

"G'night, Jo." He said softly, backing down the porch, holding her eyes with his.

She smiled, the world appearing to be spinning. "Night."

Pacey turned away and headed back to the car. Trying to ignore the nagging voice inside telling him to go back to her. Determined, he got in the car and revved the engine, but couldn't bring himself to leave until she was safely in the house.

Joey turned to the door and fumbled with the key, trying to pull it out of the lock. After a couple of unsuccessful attempts she finally managed to yank it free. Her hands fumbled for her purse again and the familiar pills that helped her sleep at night. Although, she wasn't sure if taking them was such a good idea since she had been drinking so heavily. She opened the bottle and took two out. Her hands shaky as she attempted to re-cover it. She let out a muffled cry as the bottle fell from her shaking hands to the floor and she bent down to pick the pills up hurriedly, less Bessie wake up and find her in this state and she'd be forced to answer questions. She felt her eyes begin to well with tears as she painstakingly returned the pills into the bottle. She stopped and sat down on the porch instead and reached for cell phone, needing to hear Dawson's voice.

Before she finished dialing, she heard a concerned voice in front of her. "Jo?" He asked, sinking down to the cold ground in front of her. "Are you okay?"

She glanced at him startled. "Oh, yeah, um. I thought I heard the phone ring," she said motioning to the phone in her hand.

"It's not ringing now," He said softly, pulling it out of her hand, noticing the prescription bottle of pills grasped tightly in her other hand. He took them from her, "Jo, what are these?" His brow furrowed as he tried to read the label in the dim evening light.

Joey frowned and reached for them. "They're nothing. A vitamin," she lied.

He moved the bottle out of her reach. "Prescription vitamins?" He asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

Joey nodded. "I was sick."

"What kind?"

Joey racked her brain for an answer. "Flu. I had the flu and the doctor gave me vitamins."

"What kind of vitamins?" He questioned further, still trying to read the label in the dim light.

"C," she said. "Vitamin C. It's a multi-vitamin actually."

"Hmmm, to my recollection, doctors don’t prescribe multi-vitamins for the flu."

"Um, my immune system was shot," Joey managed weakly. "So now that we're done with the twenty questions. Can I have them back please?"

"Jo, don't make me turn on the porch light and actually read the label." He said softly, watching her face carefully.

Joey's continence faltered a bit under his soft tone. "It's no big deal. I've just been having trouble sleeping lately. Stress." She shrugged it off.

"You shouldn't take this after you've been drinking, Joey. You should know that, it could kill you."

Joey pulled back at his words. "I wasn't going to take them."

He tilted his head skeptically, "Then why are they in your hand?"

Joey groaned. "Okay fine. So, I might have been planning to take one. No big deal."

"No big deal?! Joey these could do you serious damage!" He sat down beside her running a hand through his tousled hair. "First you and Jen go crazy at the bar and now this."

"Well, I'm sorry to be such a bother. Just give me my bottle back and I'll go inside, then you won't have to worry," Joey said plaintively.

"Why do you need them anyway?" He asked ignoring her out stretched hand.

"I told you already. I've been having trouble sleeping." Her voice was dismissive.

"Why? Too many worries? Sore muscles? Insomnia? Sleeping pills aren't the answer. They aren't healthy."

She rolled her eyes. "I'll be sure to make a note of that."

"You should." He sighed, "Does Dawson know about this? I highly doubt he'd approve."

Joey scowled and snatched the bottle away from him. "Last time I checked I had a father and it wasn't Dawson."

"Last time I checked you had a fiancé and apparently he doesn't take care of you very well."

"I do not need to be taken care of," she hissed angrily.

"You drink yourself to oblivion then nearly commit suicide and you don't need someone to take care of you?"

Joey sighed. "So I'm a bit self-destructive." She lowered her gaze to the ground. "I'm just waiting for him to notice."

Pacey sighed, at a loss for words. Back to Dawson, it always went back to Dawson. Defeated, he ran a hand through his hair. "Do you really think hurting yourself is the way to go about getting his attention?" He asked softly, his anger fading away, leaving only naked concern.

Joey shrugged. "Why not? I've tried everything else. Nothing has worked," she finished quietly.

"Have you talked to him about it?" Inwardly he groaned, he was giving romantic advice to the woman he'd been in love with for years. "Usually words are the only way to get throught to Dawson." Why was he trying to help her get back to Dawson? He sighed, because Dawson was what made her happy. He looked at her through the corner of his eye, she sure didn't look very happy.

Joey sighed. "And, oh yeah, that conversation will go over so well."

"You said you tried everything else... if you want your marrige to work," He choked on his words, and cleared his throat, "you can't go on feeling this way."

She frowned and glanced around awkwardly. "Pacey, don't tell anyone, but sometimes I think I shouldn't go through with it you know? That marrying him is a bad idea. It passes, but I think it."

His mouth went dry and he forced himself to swallow, his voice sounded hollow to his own ears. "I- Do you- do you love him?" He asked, looking down at his hands, waiting nervously for her answer. She didn't.

"'Cause if you don't love him, you shouldn't marry him. Love is the only reason to marry. There is no other acceptable reason."

Joey shook her head. "I love him, I mean he's Dawson and I'll always love him but we have/had a strong friendship and it's comfortable. I've just kind of figured that we're supposed to take this next step."

"So, yes," he focused on his ground again.

Joey shrugged. "I don't know. There's a part of me that loved Jack does that mean I should have married him?" She smiled. "Well, despite the obvious."

"So then why are you marrying Dawson?"

She shrugged it off. "Oh, I don't know. No one else asked? I'm too old to be waiting around for prince charming and like I said, a part of me does love him and wouldn't mind growing old with him. I'm just not in love with him."

"Can I ask you a question, Jo?" He turned to her, his brow furrowed.

Joey smiled. "You just did but fine, I don't care."

"How long have you been with Dawson?"

"I guess around six years off and on," Joey replied.

"Off and on for six years...did you date much during the off time?"

"Oh yeah, I had to beat them off with a stick," she paused. "That's Potter speak for no."

"Than how do you know you can't do any better?" She turned her eyes away from him and he continued, "There are guys out there, Men who will love you with everything they have if given the chance. Don't settle for someone who wont just because you haven't found someone who will yet."

"And what do I tell Dawson, I can't marry you because there might be another guy. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"How about you can't marry him because you don't love him? Or that he treats you like crap? Or that the wedding is driving you insane? Or he can't give you an orgasm." She looked at him sharply, "Jen yelled that pretty loudly."

Joey looked away. "Sometimes you have to settle for what you have because there is nothing better. At least Dawson knows me."

"There is better out there for you, Joey. You just have to be willing to find it." He rose from his seated position. "Don’t take any of those pills tonight."

Joey shook her head in affirmation. "Okay. Let me ask you a question. Are you happy with Jen?"

He slowly turned around, "Am I a happy with Jen?"

Joey's face contorted into one of sarcasm. "No, the guy behind you. Yes, you."

"I- I guess I'm happy with her. Happy is a broad term, Jo." He said watching his feet, shifting his weight to one side.

Joey's eyes narrowed and she smirked. "Isn't this rich. You're trying to tell me what to do, yet look at you. You're one to talk."

"At least I know I'm not un-happy with her." He shot back. "At least I'm trying."

Joey squelched. "Oh, and I'm not."

"Are you trying to tell me you are?" He countered.

Joey nodded. "Yes. I'm trying. I'm trying to be happy with Dawson."

He sighed in frustration, "And how long have you been trying, Joey? How long? The last six weeks? Six years? Since *we* broke up?" He sighed, "When are you gonna realize he can't make you happy?"

"If not him. Then whose supposed to make me happy? I have to at least try."

He ignored the nagging voice that told him to tell her exactly who could make her happy, "Someone who doesn't drive you to drink. Someone who doesn't abandon you to plan a wedding single handedly. Someone who cares for you when you're sick. Someone you love."

"Well, what if that someone doesn't exist? I mean the sentiment is nice but in reality, the place I live in, you have to take what you can get."

"You can get better," he said with conviction.

Joey shook her head. "No. I can't. I don't think there's anything better out there."

"How hard have you looked?"

Joey sighed and shook her head. "It's too much trouble to go through the dating circuit again."

"You're going to just let yourself marry this man that you don't love? You're going to be miserable the rest of your life, Joey. He's going to come resent you for it. What're gonna do when he turns to another woman for comfort and your left with just a shell of your old self?" He threw back, angry that she'd give up on love so easily.

Joey wiped away tears. "I don't want to be alone."

"No one said you had to be," her tears instantly brought him back to her side.

"Without him, I will."

"Only if you let yourself be," he said softly.

Her eyes fell to the floor unsteadily. "I don't know what to do."

"You do... you just don't want to admit it."

"Don't make me do this."

"I wont...not tonight. You have a whole month and a half to call this off. Do it when you're ready." He said gently, but with finality.

She frowned. "I'm not going to do it. I have no other choice."

"There's always a choice, Joey."

Joey nodded. "And I choose to be with Dawson. I choose not to be alone."

"Do you really think that if you married him you wouldn't be alone? Just because he's there physically doesn't mean you connect on any kind of emotional level. You'll be worse off married to a man who doesn't love you. Believe me, I know."

Joey sniffled and wiped her eyes. "And how would you know?"

"I've been there, I've been that man." He said, looking out over the water. "I was married, to this wonderful woman." He sighed, "And I sucked the livelihood out of her. She was this beautiful rose that just wilted before my eyes," he paused, "All because I didn't love her. When the troubles came, I wasn’t there for her. And I didn't want that for her, so I gave her a divorce. And I don't want that for you either." He turned his eyes back to her, "Don't marry him. Don't let him do to you what I did to Miranda."

Joey stopped in shock. "You were married?"

"Yeah, I was." He answered solemnly. "In college. I met her through work." He rattled off the details emotionlessly. Miranda was a year older, a senior. She was beautiful and exuberant. She wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, but she had heart. We got married in 2003. The divorce was finalized last year."

Joey's face fell she didn't know how she was supposed to react. "Oh..."

"Don’t make the same mistake she did. Don't settle for less than you deserve."

"Why did you marry her if you didn't love her?"

"There were circumstances. I thought I could love her through sheer force of will." He answered simply.

Joey scoffed and picked an imaginary piece of lint off her jacket. "That's stupid."

"Yeah, it was." He replied. "Marrying someone you don't love is the worst mistake you can ever make. No matter the circumstances."

"I'm going to marry him. It's too late now."

He shook his head in annoyance, "It's not to late... not until you say 'I do'."

"Well, I'm going to. I'm going to marry him. There's nothing to stop me."

"Fine, if you want to make yourself and him miserable all your life, that's your decision. Just remember, I warned you."

She shook her head. "Fine. I'll be miserable. What do I care?"

"What is wrong with you?" He burst out. "Why don't you care? Why are you tying yourself down to misery? Why are you throwing your chance to find true love away?"

She glared. "Maybe I already had my chance and I threw it away. Maybe now I'm just not going to bother."

"Maybe you didn't, and maybe you should." He countered, glaring back at her.

Her eyes narrowed. "Maybe I did. Forget maybe, I did and now I'm going to marry the one guy that'll have me." She whirled around to go.

"There's more than one guy who'll have you, Joey. You're just not willing to see it." He said darkly, turning away from her and walking back to his car. "Have a nice night." He called opening the car door and sliding into the seat.

Joey grimaced. "Bite me." She shut the door behind her.

Pacey sighed and pulled out of the Potter driveway, this little encounter hadn't quite gone as well as he'd hoped. Didn't she know what kind of hell she was marrying into? His grip on the steering wheel tightened, as he debated the wisdom of telling her about his marriage to Miranda. No one knew about it, not even Jen.

To be continued...what else? Feedback is MUCH appreciated...please send some? rinalin@aol.com or paceysbitch@seductive.com