I admit, using the kid to try and get to her probably wasn't the best idea. I was incredibly shocked to find that little Alexander Potter-Wells was the soul person on earth who could see and hear me. And they say kids these days aren't perceptive.

Maybe if she believed a little harder, she'd be able to see me. We keep having these fleeting moments when I just feel connected with her. In the hallway at school, by her mother's gravestone. They're so quick, but I know we're connecting. And today, when she started looking for me, I almost thought this would be it...that she'd see me.

I'm almost beginning to give up hope. Almost.

When she asked for a sign, my heart soared. I concentrated as hard as I could, and moved the curtains in her room, hoping that would be a sign, but I don't think she noticed that the window was shut tightly. I hate using Alex, the poor boy doesn't understand that I'm really not there. It's confusing to him, and I love the little man.

As much as I'd love to play and talk with him, I can't...it'll only cause him harm. I think. How the hell should I know anyway? This whole ghost/angel/presenance thing is still completely unfathomable to me. Yet, I'm here.

I will find out why, eventually. But first...Joey.

I hope she was understood that Alex was supposed to be her sign. I pretty much passed out or fell asleep or whatever it is I do as a ghost because the energy it took to move the curtains exhausted me.

It's the middle of the night now, and she's in bed. Her sleep is fitful, her eyes move rapidly under their lids, her brow is furrowed and there's a scowl on her face. I touch her forehead, trying to smooth the wrinkles. Nothing.

Just like before, nothing works. I have no way of comforting her. What good am I when I can't even smooth the wrinkles from her face? How am I ever going to comfort her, I have to do something! If I can't even make contact with the person I was closest to in life, how will I ever finish my unfinished business?

I let out a slow breath and lie down beside her on the bed. "Jo," I say softly. Not that it makes any difference, whether I scream or I whisper, she's not going to hear me. "Joey, I'm sorry." It sounds so trite, so insincere. God, I hate this.

"I wish I'd listened to you and not gone back in. I should have known, you're always right." Her frown deepens. Maybe there is something to this talking thing...I decided maybe I should change the topic to something else.

"Remember, on the boat, Jo? When we were debating on whether or not the next port in North Carolina would be empty? You were right, they had room." I watch her face, it seems less distraught.

"When we were sunbathing in Florida, you warned me to put on sun block, and of course I didn't...my back was as red as a lobster that week.

"And at night, when you smoothed the aloe vera over my skin...we never spoke a word...we just experienced the moment. That's one of my favorite memories of our trip. One of the simplest and most meaningful moments in my life.

"I loved laying there at night, with my arms wrapped around you and the sway of the boat rocking us to sleep. I was never happier as I was then.

"Remember, Joey? You used to sing us to sleep. It took me weeks to convince you I wanted to hear you sing.

"Your voice was so soft and melodic...no matter what you sang, whether oldies or Sarah McLauchlan or lullabys your mom used to sing. I loved your voice."

The wrinkles in her face have faded, her forehead is smooth and her scowl is replaced with the slight curve of the corners of her lips upward.

"I love you so much, Joey." My voice breaks as I stared at her soft features, the skin of her cheeks is a rosy red, her lips parted slightly as she breathes in deep and evenly as she sleeps.

She is so alive...and I'm not. Every time I looked at her, and she doesn't look back that point is driven home.

"Every day on that boat, I found a new reason to love you. There was always something new I was discovering that made me fall in love with you all over again. Every day.

"I used to love the look on your face at night, when we stared up at the stars...I remember the first time we spent the night at sea...and there were no lights at all.

"We were in pitch blackness. We lay across the deck on a few blankets, your head rested on my stomach and our fingers were entertained. You were so awed by the beauty of it...the stars were so bright and vivid, the moon was just a sliver in the dark blue sky.

"We pointed out constellations for hours...until the sun started to come up, and then we stayed up to watch that too. Our first sunrise together."

"There were so many firsts after that...so many memories. Like Disneyworld.

"It made me so happy to see the delight on your face, Potter. You wore such a beautiful grin on your face when I told you we were going there."

I smile in reflection, "I ate too much and got sick on the Matterhorn. You told me not to eat that extra chiledog. You were right about that too."

I see her smile in her sleep. Maybe...maybe she does hear me. I run a finger over her lips, and they part as though she actually feels me.

"And when you told me I shouldn't go surfing on those huge waves? I nearly drowned myself. You gave me such a bruising for attempting to surf under those conditions.

"Remember that night, Joey? How angry you were...and how upset? You said it was because you loved me so much. You never wanted to lose me." I pause. "You haven't Joey...I'm still here. I promised I'd never leave you. I'm keeping that promise." I watch her sleeping face intently,

"Please, baby, I'm here. Open your eyes and see me." I plead helplessly.

After a strained moment, her eyelids flutter open and she blinks. She stares vacantly where I lay. She doesn't see me.

We lay there together for a few moments, me watching her...her looking for me. "I'm right here, Joey." I whisper, hoping that if she heard me in her dreams she'll hear me now.

She shows no recognition. I blink my eyes closed in hopelessness, maybe I'll never be able to reach her.

Finally, after a long stretch of time, she turns away from me and grabs for a teddy bear. It's the one I won her way back in our Sophomore year...back before Dawson, before Andie...before sailing away on True Love. I gave that to her the day I first realized she was more than just a friend.

She cradles it in her arms and closes her eyes, trying to fall back asleep. I sigh, and lay back beside her. That's enough for tonight I suppose. I can only take being shut down so many times.

Tomorrow is another day.