Disclaimer: the only characters that i own are the ones that regularily come out of my head to play. And hack each other up into little bits.

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FOOD! It's what's (hopefully!) for dinner!

*We pan in on Misc driving her ever faithful auto, EVA UNIT 02, AKA Little Bandit, down the free way. She swerves to the right. . . she swerves to the left. . . IN HORRIBLE SEATTLE AREA RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC!!!! RUN WOODLAND CREATURES AND ROAD CREW ASSISTANTS! LEST YE BECOME PANCAKES! PAAAAANNCCAAAAAKKKEEEESS!!!!! (or hash browns. =) All this while, she has been focusing all of her attention on her CD Player.*

MISC: C'mon. . . C'MON! Lil' Bandit! You need autopilot! *pouts* Hmmmm. . . Which CD next???

*She focuses on her CD collection as a orange traffic cone hits her window.*

MISC: Damn bugs. . . AHA! *pulls out a CD* Hee hee! Discovery Channel. . . *pops the CD in and jungle boggy groove pumps out of the speakers.*

***40 MINUTES LATER***

MISC: Where the Hell is the exit?! *looks down at her foot, which is, for lack of a better term, 'tweek'ing out. Looks at the road.* Ahhhh! Mongoose!

*She swerves into some bushes, and the ground turns all tree-ey. She drives along in the middle of nowhere.*

MISC: Aww crap. . . I'm as lost as Ryoga in the middle of winter with a piece of printer paper as a map! Uh oh. . . *sees large rock impeding path up ahead.* Lil' Bandit! You know what to do!

LIL' BANDIT: VROOM VROOM! (OOC- shit, am i bored!)

*the car suddenly flies in the air, giving our heroine a panoramic view of the area.*

MISC: AHA! *points in the distance* There it is. CAMELOT!

*We see a cardboard castle cutout in front of a reel big house. Um. . . it's white. . . and. . . BIG. Lil' Bandit lands, and Misc gets out*

MISC: Good Lil' Bandit! *pets the car* You get a special treat! *Lil' Bandit opens her hood/mouth and Misc pours some oil in.* Just don't drink like me. *thinking* We made it here in relatively good shape. And to think some people say I'm a reckless driver. . .

>>>FLASHBACK<<<

*Lil' Bandit is flying down the freeway at about 90, at night, while it's pouring down rain. Inside is an enraged Misc, and very frightened Screwups.*

SHAKEY: GI! GI! I see my life passing before my eyes, spud! . . .Oh, wait. . . just mah beard. . .

GOTH: I've said it once, and I'll say it again. . .

TWEEK: Misc. . . the road?

MISC: *barely keeping her hands on the wheel.* It makes me mad! Those fuckers! Doling out sugar in such little packets!!!!

SKILLS: *reaches for first aid kit* Try not to hit on my side, k?

SHAKEY: Sugar? Why spud. . . back in my day. . .

*Lil' Bandit goes over a parcicularily large bump. Everyone excluding the enflamed hits their head on the ceiling.*

MISC: WHEN I WANT COFFEE, I WANT IT NOW! AND I EXPECT IT TO BE WARM, NOT HOT! AND I WANT MILK. . . *get's sad* and I want to know what I ever did to that fucker to make him *sniffle* hate me and fuck a mule! WAAAAAAAH! *starts bawling her eyes out as the car swerves dangerously.*

GOTH: OOOWWW! *pulling hand away from Tweek's death iron grip* Sh. . . *looks at hand* GOD DAMMIT! You made me bleed!

SKILLS: *Getting out gauze* Shouldn't that be the other way around?

TWEEK: *sweatdropping* I thought you liked blood.

GOTH: *roaring* NOT MY OWN!!! *reaches up to the steering whell, and jerks the car out of the path of a semi* Shit. . . *wounds instantly heal over* Misc. . . you know you're better off. . . besides. you've got us now.

MISC: *hiccuping, with big puffy eyes* REALLY?

TWEEK/SKILLS/GOTH/SHAKEY: *cheesy smiles a plenty* Really.

MISC: *instantly perking up, driving on the curb* Hooray! Let's get ice cream!

>>>END FLASHBACK<<<

*Misc starts up the stairs to the house, when she hears something behind her. Slowly, she turns, and is mauled*

MISC: AAAHHHH! AHHHH!! THE CLOWNS! THE CLO. . . oh. Hi Tweek.

TWEEK: COFFEE NOW! *she stares at Misc with a depraved souless expression*

MISC: Tweek, I don't drink coffee. . .

TWEEK: *falls onto knees and beseeches the heavens* WHY DO YOU DECIEVE ME, OH PERCOLATOR?

MISC: *gets up, brushing herself off* C'mon. I'll go make you toast.

TWEEK: We don't have any.

MISC: Um. . . macaroni and cheese?

TWEEK: Nuh uh.

MISC: Spam?

TWEEK: *longingly* I wish. . .

MISC: Top Ramen!

TWEEK: *shivers* No more. . . PLEASE!

MISC: Have you eaten anything this week? *Tweek gives a devilish smile* Uh oh. . . where are Battlecat, Nicodemus and Kate?!

TWEEK: *scuffs foot on floor* They went into hiding when Chris after Chris drank his bong water.

MISC: *gagging* WHY?!!

TWEEK: He though it was Kool Aid.

MISC: How did. . . *shakes head* Never mind. I don't want to know.

*They get up and walk into the house*

MISC: So where's the Camelot crew?

TWEEK: Well, Chris, he pops in and out alla the time. Never see him anymore since he got into the Barbie Special Friend Club. Akilah, well she's off in Europe. . . um, studying. Yeah, that's it. . .

MISC: And Traci?

TWEEK: *giggles* Sent her off Snipe hunting a week ago.

MISC: Well, definitely looks like the house is yours this summer.

TWEEK: Yeah, and they left me without eats.

MISC: It can't be too bad.

TWEEK: *deadly serious* Have you ever had to eat. . . kiwis?!

MISC: I like kiwis!

TWEEK: I've been eating them for weeks! My tongue is like a fucking cactus! *starts spazzing* WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN IN YOUR STORIES?

MISC: Because it can. *long silence* Soo. . . where do these kiwis come from, if you have no money or food?

TWEEK: Oh, the magical tree in the back yard.

MISC: HUH? *looks out the window* Waitaminut. . . The green one?

TWEEK: Yeah. . .

MISC: With the sap all over the place?

TWEEK: Uh huh! So what?

MISC: And the happy little squirrels that are throwing nuts at each other?

TWEEK: Yeah, what's the deal? Other than malnutrition. . .

MISC: Tweek, that's an evergreen. *Tweek is silent* You've been eating PINE CONES.

TWEEK: *silence* No wonder they were so chewy.

MISC: Okay. . . we're going to the grocery store. . . NOW.

*Tweek stares at her, and then her eyes get really big and watery. Then she pounces her as Misc collapses under the weight*

MISC: AAAH! WHAT DID I SAY?!

TWEEK: FOOOOOD!!!! I love ya! *plants a sloppy kiss on Misc's cheek and rubs her head* Heavy petting!

MISC: C'mon pine cone girl. . . we'll probably need to get you some laxatives too.

>>>IN THE MARKET<<<

*Tweek runs up and down the aisles while Misc looks at different foods. Suddenly, Tweek runs up with the handle of a bucket in her mouth and whimpers at Misc*

MISC: Mmm. . . bucket 'o cookies. *pats Tweek on the head* Not until we get you eating good things. Like okrah, leeks. . . *mumbling* and assmeats. . .

*Tweek sadly puts the cookies down in the middle of the floor and they continue to walk, until Misc spots something, and gibbers happily. She runs off, and grabs a different bucket, full of chalk.*

MISC: WHEE HEE! FUN FOR AGES 4 AND UP. . . waitaminute. . . *turns to where Tweek can't see her, and quickly counts on her fingers and toes. Then heaving a sigh of relief turns back, in horror to find Tweek chawing down on the sticks* Tweek! No!

TWEEK: But I hungrrryyyy. . .

MISC: Tweek. . . I'll sell this on ebay as a kinky chalk lovin' porn. . .

TWEEK: *sweating, a blue piece an inch from her mouth* You. . . . don't have a camera!

MISC: *smiles evilly* You wanna bet? Now fork it over before I make you more famous than octopus girl!

TWEEK: *shuddering, handing the bucket over* Curse those evil octopi. . . *sniffles*

MISC: *puts an arm around her* There there. . .tell you what. Let's go out fer burgers. *they start walking out of the store*

TWEEK: Can you afford that?

MISC: *clubs a sales attendant over the head with her nailbat and grabs the cash drawer* I can now.

TWEEK: HOORAY! I'm gonna eat me some meat!

MISC: Hun. . . the camera's still rolling.

TWEEK: *looks at Misc for a long moment* . . . . FUCK!

~FIN

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This is in no way trying to degrade the noble college student, who lives away from their family, their once providers. But I am happy as hell that I still mooch off of my parents when time calls for it, and get free nummies. If you think this sucks i don't care. I was waiting for Tweek while she was at Joseph rehearsal, so there!

Ewww. . . Octopus girl . . .