In & Out, Joan Cusack's monologue

I have always loved this and wanted to do it. Hmm. . . maybe next fall. . .

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I lost 75 pounds. . . I lost 75 pounds!

You're sorry? YOU'RE SORRY?! After I. . . I wait for you for. . .no. . . no! Not just for three years. . . my entire life! After I planned my future around our wedding, after I based my entire self esteem on the fact that you're willing to marry me? AND YOU'RE SORRY!?!

Thank God my parents are dead. This would have killed them!

. . . Are you. . . are you, uh. . . are you really. . . gay?

Was there. . . oh, ANY OTHER TIME YOU MIGHT HAVE TOLD ME THIS? I'm wearing a wedding dress which you picked out! I. . . I, I lighten my hair because you said I needed shimmer! I. . . I loved you, and then believed you. . . and pretended not to notice the Streisand thing. I thought you were just creative. . . I thought you were just smarter than me. . . and more sensitive and more interesting and, well I thought you were the most wonderful man who ever lived. . . and I thought you could change my life and show me the whole world and teach me about art and life and magic. . . and I thought you could make me feel like a beautiful woman. . . instead of the girl nobody wanted. . .

Does anybody here know how many times I had to watch Funny Lady?!

Fuck Barbra Streisand! AND YOU!!!!

Back! Back I say!