Just about everyone has childhood memories of long and muggy car rides. The question "Are we there yet?" is deeply ingrained in culture and media. Indeed, the inconvenience of distance is impossible for anyone to avoid, but for some, it can mean the difference between happiness and misery.

For Ernest K. Patterson, 41, of Faribault, Minnesota, the miles to the southwest seem to be light years. Why? Starting in December of 1999, Mr. Patterson began frequenting the home of Miss Jasmine Andrews, then working as a Safeway cashier. In July of 2001, Andrews moved away, but Mr. Patterson still tries to keep in touch. Andrews, 22, is attending Arizona State University in Tempe, Arizona.

"I decided when Jasmine left that I would never let distance keep us apart," Patterson told us. "We had something special, even if she didn't know who I was or why I kept peering in the window."

In keeping with his pledge, Patterson worked tirelessly to find her new address and phone number. But the many miles between them still put a serious strain on their relationship. "It is monumentally challenging to maintain this type of long-distance stalking relationship. I can only make the trip two or three times a year, and that kind of traveling is very tiring. I usually can't get more than a day or two of stalking on each trip, making it hard to recognize a routine," he glumly stated. "Oh yeah, and I have to hitch, because I don't have a car."

To fill his absence, Patterson has been forced to allow locals to pick up some of the slack. Stalking by proxy, however, is not quite the same. Of this, he said "Yeah, I called the agency in Phoenix, but the prices were a bit steep. But sometimes I can find a freelancer to fill in for a week or two. I know Jasmine isn't getting quite as much attention as she deserves due to my location, but these substitutes help fill that void. You see, it's all about her needs."

When Andrews moved, Patterson imagined that he could manage to keep up his ominous phone calls without too much inconvenience. Unfortunately, however, he found that even those were not immune to distance.

"I just can't afford to make calls to Arizona very much," he said. "The bills at those pay phones really stack up, and I can only risk breaking into another house to use the phone about once a month. And then she stopped accepting the charges from callers like 'Malcolm X' and 'Flash Gordon', which really made her difficult to reach."

Miss Andrews refused to comment and we had to flee when she maced a correspondent.

Seemingly to the outsider, Mr. Patterson could relocate to Tempe if the relationship was important enough to him. When asked about this, he spoke of concern for responsiblities at home. He is, however, single, and is not recorded as being employed since 1986, when he worked as a construction worker and was fired shortly after receiving a restraining order from his empoyer's wife, who accused him of watching her window from a bulldozer he had driven onto the family's yard.