Food 4 thought: (Think about it)
You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What are you eating??? corn
Aging is inevitable. Maturity is an option.
Life is like an elevator. It has its ups. It has its downs. Sometimes you get shafted. Sometimes you get lucky.
Good Workers get more work ( and should get more pay).
Life is sexually transmitted
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids. :-)
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
The problem with the gene pool is there is no lifeguard.
Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
The mind is like a parachute: it works much better when it's open.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie!"... till you can find a rock.
Anything is possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Well, isn't that nice:
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was 80,000. At a special ceremony,
two of the most expensive animals were released back into the wild amid of cheers and applause form the onlookers.
A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.
Two animal rights protesters were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to the slaughterhouse. Suddenly the pigs,
all 2,000, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.
Tales from Information:
Some frantic lady asks for the number for 9-1-1
A guy calls up and asks for the number for 1-800- DENTISTS.
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