Stupid Labels
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity,
here are some actual.Label instructions on consumer goods. It's kinda sad that such companies must put such dumb
labels to legally protect themselves. It only agrees with my conclusion that "Stupidity is a dominant trait.".
On Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details
Inside."
(The shoplifter special)
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how . . .?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But it's *just* a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
"Do not turn upside down."
(Too late!)
Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows the day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowena iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save more time?)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
Taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
Accidents if we could just get those
Head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a newsflash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Delta.)
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Was there a spate of this happening somewhere? My God!)
"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans"
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