THE IDEA OF A CONTEMPORARY "baptism" of, or in, the Holy Spirit was something I vaguely associated with the preaching of John the Baptist and something I scornfully associated with "the errors" of Pentecostal-denominationalism, until I encountered it in Denton, Texas in the month of June, 1964. The encounter came after several years of increasing disillusionment with the religion in which I grew up. I was full of doubt about the applicability of various New Testament concepts (the works of the Spirit, gifts, offices) for our time, and was beginning to wonder what Christianity was supposed to be, now. Conventional methods of evangelism especially were objects of disappointment. "Gospel meetings" seemed obsolete. "Going from door to door" was distasteful to me because of its offensiveness to others, and seemed consummately unfruitful. Yet, I could think of no other way. Mail-outs, newspaper ads, radio announcements seemed ineffective. There were no results from any of these things to indicate that anyone in the community had the faintest interest in what we might have to say. Yet, I had always been sure of the fact that there were people in the community who would receive the Gospel - people who were ready - if they could only be located. This frustration was with me over a period of years, as I worked at preaching.

In the early summer of 1964, I met a Dallas man of Church of Christ background who had been disfellowshipped by all the Dallas churches because he claimed to have received the baptism in the Holy Spirit, and to have spoken in tongues. My first impression of this brother was that he was remarkably uninhibited, and that he had adopted the pet expressions of the "holiness" groups and was having a lot of fun with them. But, upon closer acquaintance, I decided that there were no better expressions for the joy that this brother had found. Furthermore, I found his gladness infectious, and saw in his testimony a rather appealing alternative to the frustration I had experienced.

About this time a prayer group was formed in Denton, at first consisting of about a half-dozen people of three or four different denominations. I was invited to meet with them on the first occasion, and I continued with them weekly, as we met in homes. All of these people had "received" the baptism in the Holy Spirit, and their hope for this prayer meeting, obviously, was to introduce others to this facet of Christianity. As I listened to their testimonies, my mind was open, for I came to them as a searcher for a better way. My response was that which I have heard from many others since: "If the Lord wishes for me to experience these things, then I am willing."

Nevertheless, though I was willing to believe, I had misgivings about various elements of the testimonies and of what I observed. The "tongues" I heard in prayer were varied; some were smooth and beautiful, but some had the character of nothing more than gibberish, and I could imagine that anyone could easily produce such sounds. At the same time, the words of Paul echoed in my mind -"God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise." I sensed the danger of subjecting the spiritual things to the test of reason.

Obviously, there was no other test by which the authenticity of these "tongues" could be immediately determined. I was forced to wait and remain open, and I decided that in these matters, as in others, I would have to judge by the fruit produced under these conditions, and apply, as best I could, what I could learn of the Scriptures.

In a discussion meeting in Dallas, I raised a question regarding a really effective means of evangelization in the community. It was my "Pentecostalized" friend, described above, who gave me the answer. "Jesus didn’t go from door to door," he reminded me; "He didn’t canvass the neighborhood. He was the Light, and people who were in darkness came to Him." He said that if I would do as Paul urged in Romans 12:1, daily offering the use of myself to Him, He would give me all the opportunities to witness which I could use, and the words to speak, as well. "He will teach you, day by day," he said, "and when you have learned the lesson, He will give you someone with whom to share it."

It was one of those occasions when the truth is revealed in such simplicity that one kicks himself for a fool for not seeing it before. I knew that the Lord had provided the answer to my frustration. I needed no coaxing to follow the instructions I had received, and the results were immediate and almost frightening. "Doors of opportunity" began to appear and open before me. Witnessing for Christ became the most uncomplicated thing in the world, requiring almost no effort on my part, yet keeping me busier than I had ever been in my life. And, better than all else, this easy work began to count for something in terms of visible results. So it has been ever since, and increasingly so.

This witness to the real presence of the living Lord, and to His nearness and His willingness to involve Himself with me on a personal basis, and to use me - all this revolutionized my religion. I was already through with legalism, trying to understand that amazing grace" by which I had been accepted, and learning that there was a real finality about my acceptance. But this new experience was a precious confirmation, and I accepted it without reservation.

During the remaining months of 1964, and the first three months of 1965, I continued to attend the prayer meetings in Denton. My friends in the group prayed for me and urged me to yield to the Lord. All the time I thought I was yielded - I didn’t know how to yield more, where my will was concerned. I prayed fervently, and tried to do as they bade me in those meetings, to pour forth praise and surrender my tongue to the Spirit. I received real blessings from these sessions; my appetite for spiritual things was whetted, and my reliance on the Lord increased. Questions remained for a time, but they were answered, one by one. And the evidence of fruit in the lives of my "Spirit-filled" friends, became increasingly convincing. As short a way as I myself had come, I could see fruit that couldn’t be gainsaid. So my doubts began to fade, and I eagerly awaited a "breakthrough" in my own life.

In March, on Thursday the 24th, we had our meeting as usual. A group of girls from North Texas State University had visited the meeting a couple of times (the attendance had grown considerably by this time) and they were eagerly "seeking the Baptism." They appeared on this occasion with what they considered to be a sign from the Lord that this was to be the day of their "Baptism." I found myself regarding them with suspicion. They were surer about this than I thought anyone could be. It irked me, and I couldn’t pray with the rest as we all knelt together. I was outside of these proceedings and watched with dismay as they were rushed along. One of the most dedicated women of our group took to the side one girl who wasn’t getting anywhere and attempted to instruct her to say the words, making the sounds herself and asking the girl to repeat them after her. I knew that was completely artificial, and it sickened me. Several of the girls did "receive," apparently, and uttered unintelligible language at considerable length, one of them even singing ecstatically. The meeting was ruined for me, however, and I went home considerably upset.

The events of this night weighed heavily upon my heart through the remainder of that week, and I struggled with the pros and cons in my own mind but achieved no peace.

On Sunday afternoon, March 27, my closest friend, also a member of the prayer group, came to see me at home. As we were discussing the incidents of the last meeting, and as I described to him the troubled state of my mind, it suddenly occurred to me that I had failed to avail myself of the witness within me to resolve my doubts. So my friend and I entered into prayer together. Before we finished, a sweet peace began to come into my heart. All my doubts, or at least the frustration caused by them, fled away. I remained convinced, and so remain to this day, that the woman who tried to prompt the girl in "tongue-speaking" was wrong in so doing. But I accepted as genuine the experience of the girls.

After our prayer, I poured coffee for us, but found that I had no desire for it. A sensation of lightness came over me, and I felt suddenly that if I didn’t catch hold of something, I would float upward like a balloon. It was a little frightening. A pressure built up inside me that I could feel, physically. It produced no pain or physical discomfort, but continued to increase. It gave to me a feeling of urgency, and I said to my friend, "I think we’d better pray some more." So we went into another room and sat down together and continued to pray. He prayed that the Lord would fill me and give me grace to yield to the Spirit. As for me, all I could do was to thank Him for the peace He had given me. Very suddenly, a word, ashaka, appeared, spelled out, in my mind. I uttered it, and repeated it several times. Then there came a flood of sounds, none of them at all intelligible, lasting for perhaps a minute or two and then stopping, as though by some will other than my own.

Immediately after this my feeling was one of physical tiredness, but otherwise I felt the same great peace, a peace so real I that it almost spoke audibly of reassurance. I felt very happy, certainly not over having uttered ecstatic language, but because of the communion I had experienced in the Spirit. In the days that followed, I felt a new closeness to the Lord, and this strengthened me. I was so absorbed in the things of the Spirit that nothing else seemed to matter. Gradually, the world began to encroach upon my consciousness again, and I "returned to earth."

Temptation came soon, in several familiar forms and in some I new forms. One of the attacks was through the intellect, and this was perhaps the most difficult to recognize as from Satan. I have always valued intellectual honesty, but never before did I realize to what extent the subtle pride which infuses it can be employed by Satan to defeat the work of the Spirit. In honesty I tried to allow the possibility that I had been emotionally hoodwinked, that my experience was perhaps only a form of self-hypnosis. Satan encouraged me in this, but the Spirit maintained His witness faithfully, and several things such as the illumination of various and especially helpful passages of Scripture, increased opportunities to witness, the abiding peace and joy - all served to reassure me.

Since then I have experienced more and more of victory, and though Satan continues to interfere, I have no fear of him. The Father has manifested His intentions, His nearness, His faithfulness too many times for me to doubt now. Instead, life is a fresh delight and challenge every day - every day that begins with Romans 12:1.