Selling Smiles

April 2, 2000

Conversation: Selling smiles for a living

VICKI, an unhappy rich woman, sits impatiently on a bus stop bench
MIKE, a homeless man, sits down next to her with a big smile on his face
VICKI: What are you smiling for
MIKE: It's what I do.
VICKI: I won't ask
MIKE: I sell smiles for a living
VICKI: I'm not interested
MIKE: Here, have a free one - on me (He smiles at her)
VICKI: No thank you
MIKE: Sorry, can't take it back. You'll have to give it someone else
VICKI: What?
MIKE: The smile, You'll have to give it away if you don't want it. Or sell it if you like - apparently it hasn't been used much.
VICKI: What do you mean by that?
MIKE: You don't smile very often, do you?
VICKI: So what if I don't
MIKE: Shouldn't waste your smile....there are plenty of people who could use one.
VICKI: Well they can have mine
MIKE: Your what?
VICKI: My smile.
MIKE: I don't see one.
VICKI: I thought you just gave me one.
MIKE: I tried but it didn't stick. I think it bounced right off.
VICKI: Fine. What's there to smile about anyway?
MIKE: Wellll.....
VICKI: You don;t have to answer that.
MIKE: There are lots of things to smile about. Its a beautiful day outside; the buses are running on time .........
VICKI: I don't want to hear about it.
MIKE: and look at that flower over there, now that would make anybody smile..........
VICKI: Would you leave me alone! (A long period of silence. Finally, she gives in.)
VICKI: So what's the going rate on smiles thee days?
MIKE: Pardon me?
VICKI: Your smiles..how much are they?
MIKE: Oh, they're very expensive.
VICKI: So is my taste.
MIKE: YOu probably couldn't afford one.
VICKI: Try me.
MIKE: I'm warning...........it'll cost you.
VICKI: Yes I know, How much?
MIKE: One smile
VICKI: One smile?
MIKE: That's how much they cost.
VICK: What?
MIKE: The price of a smile is exactly one smile. That's the going rate. (She thinks about it.)
VICKI: Alright. (smiles) I'll take one.
MIKE: It was a pleasure doing business with you. (he leaves)
(Daisy, sits down next to her)
DAISY: What's with the smile?
VICKI: I sell smiles for a living.