Lists
Top Ten Dumb Guy Complaints About "The Lord of the Rings"
From the Late Show with David Letterman                         21/06/04
10. "I expected something, you know, more Hobbity"
9. "'Middle Earth' scenes clearly shot on regular Earth"
8. "It was real long and not a cartoon"
7. "Accidentally put butter on my Twizzlers"
6. "My name is Stu -- how come there aren't any Hobbits named Stu?"
5. "Where the hell is Chewbacca?"
4. "If they're going to have magic, why not bring back the rapping kangaroo?"
3. "Couldn't focus on movie -- kept thinking about how I blew all my money on the Giants"
2. "I kept trying to talk to Frodo, but he ignored me like he's 'all that'"
1. "I haven't seen it yet -- I'm too busy governing California"

Things you don't want to hear in an operating room                         12/04/04
5. Let me check the manual.
4. Oh... do you think he's allergic to M&M's?
3. Oops
2. The ankle bone's connected to the shin-bone...the shin-bone's connected to the knee-bone...the knee-bone's connected to...this thingy...that thing's connected to the... Well that concludes your surgeon's training course.
1. MY GOD NO!! YOU FOOL!! OK, ok...nobody has to know...this will be our little secret...Ok, dump it out back, he'll never know the difference.

The Stupid List of Mispronunciations                         24/03/04
I can't take this much stupid. Every minute I spend here, I get stupider. Oh god, I just said stupider...
Everything on this list was said by a single teacher in one 56-minute period, except for number 1.
#7.Silencement (not an actual word) = silencely
#6.Organation = Organisation
#5.Feeabluh = faible
#4.Rappaport = rapport
#3.Poo-detre = Peut-être
#2.The teacher writes this on the board: les stores(blinds) They then go on to say, "Why would the list stay 'stores' and not the french word, 'magasin'?...Oooooo...Maybe 'stores' is the word for 'blinds'! Ha ha do you think so class?"

#1. Kentucky, mispronounced 3 different times as Kenturkey


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