so, I have spoken before on this blog about the "divorce war" .   I must be honest, it hasn't really been as bad as I expected, given her penchant for creating drama and overreacting.... HOWEVER... this past Tuesday was our support hearing , and well..  Things came out very well for me.. which I know upset her to no end.  At least that's the distinct impression I got from our daycare provider when I picked up my son that afternoon.



So here is my dilemma.... there are still lingering issues before the divorce is final.. stuff we need to talk about... I know she is struggling, heck we all are right now.  But so much of what has happened, especially with her, is stuff I saw coming a long time ago and a big part of the reason we separated in the first place.  I think she is getting things back together, realizing who and what her friends are and who really has her best interests at heart.  The problem is, now, i am not one of those persons, I was put in a situation where I had to defend myself from her and as such I became someone who was (probably in her mind still is) trying to hurt her.



ALot has happened since we have separated... while I have not really changed personality-wise, alot has changed in how I look at life and the things I want.  Brightside has changed so much about me, and given me so much that I thought I would never get. 



Well, this blog isn't about that, it's about the other thing.  Truth is, I would really like to help her...as much as I can, because she was and will be part of my life now, and helping her makes things better for Kenny.  I still care about what happens to her, I've just realized that there is more going on there then I am able to handle.   Things are still getting better for me too, but divorce #2 has been pretty devastating.



I just hope when we talk again, she treats me like a person and like a father, and not like a blank check anymore.