----------------------------------------------------------------------------
AN:: The “uh oh!” sound from the registers is the very same sound that ICQ uses when a message is sent and/or recieved. Yes, our computers really say that when an item doesn’t scan. ^_^;;; It’s very annoying and grates on one’s nerves.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was another dull day at the 99¢ Only Store. Every day it was the same old thing: Ding Ding Ding Uh Oh! It was enough to drive a person insane. It used to be so easy, and so quiet. The only sound heard was the cashier’s voice as she counted the items, and the sound of the cash register adding them up. And just when everyone got used to how things were, the scanners came along. But what could one do? Turning on the mute button meant the cashier could not hear what she was ringing up, and if there was a double-scan, or an ‘uh oh’, it would go by unnoticed, therefore giving the customer yet aNOTHER reason to complain.

Venom Naotoki did not feel like arguing. Already, three times today, she had gotten her throat ripped out by customers who insisted the price of an item was such-and-such a price when, really, it was something else.

“Well the sign SAID two for ninety-nine.”

“I’m sorry, Sir, but that’s the wrong price. They’re really ninety-nine cents each. Someone must have moved the sign over, or a stocker didn’t change it when he was putting up new stock.”

“But the sign said two for ninety-nine cents, that’s what they are, and that’s what I’m paying.”

Venom bit her lip to keep herself calm. “No, Sir. These are ninety-nine cents each.” She pointed to the computer screen. “See? Snow’s Clam Chowder...you have two, and it came to a dollar ninety-eight. They ring up at ninety-nine cents each.”

“Well YOU need to change the prices.”

“Sir, it’s not my fault. I’m up here all day, and I am not aware of what the stockers do. I know my items, I know my prices, and I know that the clam chowder has always been one.”

“Then I don’t want any of this.”

Venom blinked as the customer walked out, leaving his five bags of merchandise on the counter, and the twenty-eight dollars still rung up on the register. And that was only one episode...the -tame- one. It might not seem so bad to the common person, but to a 99¢ Only Store cashier, being yelled at about the prices by an angry customer can put quite a damper on the day, considering it happens on an average of about twice every hour.

‘Somebody shoot me...’ Venom thought, wanting to bang her head on the scanner.

“What we need is some excitement,” Quin mused. Quin was Venom’s favorite co-worker. Usually, the two were stationed at different ends of the checkout, but luckily, today they were given registers right next to each other.

“Yeah, TELL me about it.” Venom finished ringing up her customer and sat down on the metal counter that housed her bags. “I’m really in a rut. Everyone and their sister decided ‘Hey, let’s go to VENOM’S register and rip on HER about the prices’!” She sighed. “They’re always rippin’ on me about SOMEthing.”

Quin giggled. “Aw, don’t worry, Venny. It’s already two, you go home in two hours.”

“Whee! And I can hardly wait, too!”

Hey you guys,” Cindy, another cashier, said, coming up to join them. “Check out the freaks who just walked in.” She nodded towards the calendars, which were located on a rack right by the front doors.

“Dude that is some FUNKY hair,” Quin said. “Did he run out of Kleenex, or something??”

Cindy laughed. “Good thing we sell it. He’s probably here for a box or two.”

Venom took a gander at who the two were talking about. There were three men; one with dark blue hair, one with long white hair, and one with wild green hair. “Omigosh!” Venom squealed. “I’m in Masho heaven! ^___^.”

“What the heck is a ‘Masho’?” Quin asked, looking at the sudden puddle of drool forming at Venom’s feet.

“Oh, only -the- sexiest most powerful kawaii villain on the face of the Anime planet!” She sighed happily. “Aren’t they wonderful looking?”

“Uh, right.” Cindy and Quin just went back to the respective registers, sweatdropping. Venom, on the other hand, was busying herself with guy watching.

“I’m in the bishounen, I’m in the bishounen!” The familiar tune with the strange new lyrics emanated odd looks from the customers. “^_^.”

“Venny is so weird,” Quin said to Cindy. Cindy just nodded, rolling her eyes good-naturedly.

“Dude, where ARE the snake calendars???” the guy with the green hair asked, hands on his hips.

The white-haired guy rolled his one eye; the other had been covered up with a black eyepatch. “There AREN’T any, OK?? So quit yer bitchin’.”

“Awww pooh.”

The last man, the one with the dark blue hair, bounced around excitedly. “This place is SO cool! I can’t believe everything in here is just 99¢! Hehehehehehehehe GLEE!!”

“Cale, you are so embarrassing,” the white-haired guy told him, a hand over his face.

“Oh Dais, where’s your sense of fun?”

Dais opened his mouth to speak, but the green-haired one cut in. “He lost it with his eyeball when he was trying to hand-stitch a Jolly Roger for his first ship, the S.S. Arachnid.”

Cale burst into giggles. “Good one, Sekhmet!” The two slapped each other a high five.

“Oh ha ha ha. VERY funny. Your quips just keep getting better and better, snake face.

Sekhmet gave an elaborate bow. “Why THANK you, Cap’n Winky. What kind words.”

Dais looked to the ceiling. Why, oh WHY, did he bring those two here? ‘Oh yeah,’ he thought, ‘I need those five cases of cat food.’ “Damn that Ryo for making me babysit his baka little tiger.” Heaving a sigh, he grabbed his comrades by their sleeves and dragged them past the registers and into the rest of the store. “Come along, you two. We have much shopping to do, and less time to do it in.”

As they passed, Venom swore a moment in time had stopped. She had locked eyes with the green-haired Warlord named Sekhmet. Her heart skipped a beat, but she managed to muster up enough courage to say ‘hi’. Sekhmet just smiled as Dais dragged him by.

“Quit stalling, fang face,” Dais grumbled. “We don’t have all day.”

“Oh leave me alone. I was TRYING to say hi to the nice sales lady!”

“Oh boo hoo hoo,” Dais retorted sarcastically, rubbing at imaginary tears. “Lookit me, I’m poor pitiful Sekhmet, lowly Warlord of poisons. Feel sorry for me because I can’t get my mack on. Boo hoo hoo.”

“Rrrrrr....SHUT UP!!”

“Hey guys, look!”

Dais and Sekhmet stopped arguing for a minute and both looked to where Cale’s glee-filled voice was coming from.

“Look guys! -Condoms-!” He waved around the little white box, high in the air.

Dais was absolutely mortified. Not only was Cale loud, but he was making quite a scene. “Cale, what are you DOING!?”

The blue-haired Warlord looked up, frozen in action. He had already opened the box and was in mid-lick. “Wha? They’re FLAVORED. ^_^.”

“Cale!!”

“Oh. I’m sorry, Dais.” Holding up the condom he had been tasting, he beamed. “Wanna lick?”

He was flustered. “No!”

“But it’s -banana- flavored.” Cale grinned, nudging Dais in the arm. “And we all know how much you love the taste of ‘bananas’.”

“We’re in PUBLIC!”

“Just lick it.”

“Cale--”

“Lick it.”

“No, I--”

“LICK IT!!”

Total silence. All eyes in the store fell upon the two wide-eyed Warlords. Dais slowly turned his head to see just how many people were staring. Lots. Damn. He wanted to crawl under a rock.

‘Uh Oh!’

A giggle rang out. Quin turned to look at the girl behind her. Venom was the quintessence of innocence. Blinking angelically, she looked back. “What? It’s not MY fault it was perfect timing with the situation...” She made sure to smile. “^_^.”

Cale waved the condom at Ven. “Yummy rubbers ya got here! ^____^.”

Dais was blushing furiously, wishing his eyepatch was big enough to cover his whole face. Head in hands, he made his way down aisle 7, where all the pet supplies were. “You hate me, don’t you.”

Cale bounced along after, happily licking his condom. Catching up with Dais, he jumped on his back, piggy-back style. “But Winky, I luuuuuuuuuv yew!” To prove this, a big juicy smoochy was planted on Dais’ cheek. “Mmmm MM! You taste better than a banana condom!”

Dais’ good eye twitched. “Talpa have mercy on my soul....” He batted at Cale. “Knock it off, would ya?”

“Oh pooh.” Cale jumped down and clapped Dais on the back. “Hey, sorry there, big guy. No hard feelings, kay?”

“.....too late for that....” Dais muttered, trying to discreetly re-adjust himself.

“Aw Cale, I think you turned our Fearless Leader on.” The mischevious grin on Sekhmet’s face was huge.

“OK good. Looks like we’ve got that food for WhiteBlaze,” Dais said, desperately trying to change the subject. He picked up a flat of Special Kitty cat food. “Now we can get the hell out of here.” Realizing he would be needing more hands than he had to carry the food, he nodded towards the shelf. “OK guys, pick up some flats and let’s go. .......guys? .......guys??” He turned; the two were nowhere in sight. “Now where did those two idiots get to?” He sighed. Who knew what kind of trouble those two could get into if he didn’t find them soon.

“Dun dun....dun dun...dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun DAAAAAA!” A blue-headed man in a long blonde braided wig jumped out from behind an endcap, firing a fake machine gun at his comrade’s head. “HAHAHAHA! I got you! Nyeh heheheheheh!”

The green-headed man, who was sporting a like wig of the auburn persuasion, stuck his thumbs in his ears and wiggled his fingers tauntingly, his gun stuck between his knees. “Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me!”

Cale shrugged. “OK.” He grabbed Sekhmet’s face in both hands, planting a wet one on him.

“GAH!” Sekhmet jumped back, wiping his mouth the back of his hand. “I didn’t mean for you to actually DO it!”

“Heh. Surprise attack. That means I win.”

“Yeah?? Well win THIS!” He was about to sucker punch Cale in the kisser when he was suddenly pulled back.

“What are you two knuckleheads doing?” Dais demanded, his hand full of the back of Sekhmet’s shirt. “And what the HELL is on your heads??”

“Don’t you think they make us look pretty?” Cale asked, modeling.

“Oh sure. Pretty DUMB.” He ignored Cale’s pout. “Now come on. Help me find a cart so we can get the cat food and go home.”

Both Cale and Sekhmet stuck their tongues out at Dais’ back. “Party pooper.”

“Please, you’re too kind.” Rolling his one eye, he quickly found an empty cart.

“I don’t think Dais took his happy pills this morning,” Cale commented.

“I don’t think Dais has taken his happy pills in a LOT of mornings. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve EVER seen Dais happy.”

“Oh trust me,” Cale said, smirking. “He can get downright GAY.”

Sekhmet sweatdropped. He was pretty sure Cale meant that word to mean BOTH things is represented. His sweatdrop biggened.

“I’ve got the food, let’s go pay.”

“Oh great. Those freaks are coming back up.” Quin looked over her shoulder at Venom. “I hope they go through YOUR line.”

“^____________________^.”

Quin laughed. “Oh wait, you’d LIKE that, wouldn’t you.”

“Does Mr. Shido suck?”

“Heh, I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.”

“^_^.”

Dais looked at the lines. Register 2 had way too many people in it, he couldn’t go there. And register 4 had only a few customers, but their carts were filled to the brim. The only other register open was 5. “Well, I guess this is as good a line as any.” He pushed the cart into line.

“Omigosh!” Venom screeched. “They’re in my line!”

Quin didn’t even bother to turn around as she twirled her finger in unamusement. “Whoopie doo.”

“Quinetta!”

“I mean....YAAAY! ^__^!”

“^__________^ I knew you’d be thrilled!” The other girl couldn’t help but laugh. With the last customer taken care of, Dais finally made it to the front of the line, where Venom happily greeted him. “^________^ HI! How are you today??? ^___^??”

Dais just looked at her. This was going to be as bad, if not worse than having to keep an eye on his ‘children’. “I have five cases of Special Kitty. Do you need it at all?”

Venom ignored his rain-cloud attitude and held up one little index finger. “I just need oooonnneeeee box. ^_^b.” Dais tossed it onto the counter with a huff. It almost knocked the register’s keyboard from it’s resting place above the scanner. “Thank you....^_^;; So lesse...that’s five cases....twenty-four boxes per case....so thaaaaat’ssss....” She trailed off and started counting on her fingers, which only made Dais even MORE impatient that he already was.

“IT’S ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY BOXES, OK???”

“oO;; OK, OK, thank you, geeeeeeze. So I’m not good at math, so sue me.”

“Be nice to the nice sales lady, Winky,” Sekhmet scolded. He beamed at Venom. “Hi--” he began, squinting at her nametag. “Venom! Ooh, that’s a nice name. I think I like it.”

“Heh, thanks. ^_~.”

Cale burst in front of the other two Warlords, his arms FULL of various little items. “Hey girl,” he said, dumping everything onto the conveyer belt. “I have some questions about the prices.”

“Shoot! ^_^.”

“OK, these cool argyle socks....how much are they?”

“Ninety-nine cents.”

“Oh, OK, groovy. And these laytex surgical gloves?”

“....ninety-nine cents.”

“No kiddin’? What about this nifty wig?” He pointed to his head.

“It’s -ninety-nine cents-.” Venom was starting to get a little agitated, as she could see where this was leading.

“Wow! That’s a great deal!”

“Um...yeah...”

“OK, this is the one I’m really not sure about....” He held up the half-mutilated box of condoms. “How much is THIS?”

“You’re in the 99¢ ONLY STORE, baka, how much do you THINK it costs!?”

“Um...two fifty?”

Venom smacked her face, letting her hand slide all the way down.

“Hey, you’re the one who said you wanted ‘em in your line....”

“Shut up, Quin.” She was now rubbing the bridge of her nose. ‘Why me?’ she thought.

Dais gave her one of those looks. “Now do you see why I am not in the best of moods?”

“^_^;; Point taken and understood.”

“Great. Now what’s my total?”

“One thirty-six ninety-five. ATM, cash, or credit?”

“Hey cool. look! Naners!” Cale climbed atop the counter and leaned over the end of it to pull out a bag of bananas from the box that was sitting there. Taking out two, he shoved them in his mouth. “Look, I’m a walrus, I’m a walrus! Goo goo g’joob.”

“Wahahahahahahaha! Hey bro, toss me one!” Sekhmet caught the banana and started monkeying around...literally. “Ooo ooo eee eee!” He slapped Dais on the butt for added effect, and grinned.

“ARGH! Do you take heads??” Dais growled, obviously wanting a couple to roll right now.

“^_^;;; Um, no. Sorry. But I am gonna hafta add those bananas on.” She tried to keep smiling as she attempted to push Cale off of her counter.

“Fine, fine. ATM.”

“Heh. Dynasty Debit. Cool.” Venom punched up the new total. “It’s one hundred thirty-seven ninety-four May I see your card, please?” Taking his card, she ran it through the machine. Once the transaction was finished, she handed him his receipts. “Thank you, have a nice day. Come back soon! ^_^.”

Cale came up behind Dais, dangling a slimy condom in front of his face. “Hey Dais, try this one....it’s STRAWBERRY.”

“Dais, Dais, look! TP! Shouldn’t we get some and toilet paper the Ronin Brats’ house?? It’s -Angel- Soft so we can say it was an act of God.”

Dais looked back up at Venom. “Yeah, right.” Ignoring his two comrades, he pushed his cart right out of the store, Cale and Sekhmet following.

“Oy....Masho are difficult people. What the HELL was Talpa thinking when he hired THEM??”

“The world may never know,” Quin told her.

Cindy turned and called from her register. “I TOLD you they were freaks.”

Venom’s head hit the counter with a thud. “Is it four thirty yet??”

~The End~