GOING CALLING IN THE CITY Lester A. Rowland I came from the mountains to this town, From a place of very much renown, A place where folks so like to fight, But I came here to see if I might Learn the manner of city ways, And other things which always pays. I hadn’t been here not more than a week, Till I looked me around a sweetheart to seek, But I found this out before going very far, That I had a bad job, so began to tire. I was from a different climate you see, Their manners and customs were all strange to me. Several of the young men ‘round about, Teased me much for not getting out, For spending my time in my room of nights, And not getting out and seeing the sights. Said “Get you a girl and go to the show, Nothing is nicer than having a beau.” ‘Twas very good advice, I’ll have to admit, But how could I ever make a hit? When no one would ever introduce me at all, Or ever invite me to a dance or a ball. There were three lieutenants in this town, No finer lieutenants I ever have found. They were Lieutenants Crawford, Lefkovits and Campbell, Good friends of mine, I knew them well. The first had a very nice girl, he said, That she was the only girl he’d wed, The next was a bachelor, it seems to me, Still on the hunt for a bride-to-be. The last was more lucky than the other two, For he had a nice wife and babes quite a few, But being far from home you see, He’d go spend the evening, maybe take tea With a lady, occasionally. He had his pick, This kept him from getting homesick. About this time, when feeling so blue, This last lieutenant, yes, what did he do? Not considering our great difference in station, But kindly gave me a nice invitation, To go with him and make a call that night, And stay, if we wished, till broad daylight. I agreed to go, tho I felt very queer, As we went along, the house drew near. It did seem strange as we reached the door, To call on a girl never seen before. Then as he started to ring the bell, I heard my heart beat, I heard it well. Thus, as we reached the end of our journey, I met these girls, Miss Holmes and Miss Turney, Oh, they were charming and full of grace, It was a grand, magnificent place. The lights were all turned quite low, The fire gave out a golden glow. At first I felt a little shy, Not knowing what to say or why, But these nice ladies knew how to please, And I soon felt very much at ease. We talked at first of common things, Till after awhile our thoughts took wings, When we had reached a certain height, We talked of “Romance” and a moonlight night. I am, you know, twenty-two years old, But never had had my fortune told, Miss Turney, Oh yes, was a very bright miss, Said she knew all about this. Could tell one’s thoughts, wishes and plans But only by noting the lines in their hands. She was telling my fortune, it was a surprise, How she knew those things, I couldn’t surmise, When she was in a very interesting part, She suddenly stopped and gave a slight start. For she heard the ringing of the old doorbell, And a voice she only knew too well. She turned quite pale, these words she cried; “Oh, where will I find a place to hide?” Miss Holmes was also very much excited, But when our fears she somewhat had quieted, She went to the door, who should it be, But the other lieutenants, Oh Gee! It was so embarrassing to have them call, For they just wouldn’t stop there in the hall, But came on in. We had no fuss For we both knew things had gone against us. The later arrivals both took a seat, And we tried to appear as tho not beat. Well, we stayed around for quite a spell, Till we found we didn’t appear so well, To the other fellows, so we bid adieu, And left the place feeling very blue. It was pretty tough, so we thought, To have to leave the girls we sought, In the care of our friends the other boys, While we must look for other joys. So next time we go to make a call, We’ll bolt the door and brace the wall, And the bell can ring forever, but it’ll not be answered, no Never We’ll stand our ground or use a gun, before we’ll evermore be outdone.