REPLY TO THE FAILURE OF UNION T. F. Hale The failure of Union came out of time, And I’m glad in my heart that they came in a rhyme; For so many sad faces did brighten and shine, And it almost opened the eyes of the blind. This man is my friend and always has been He has stuck close to me through thick and through thin; Yet there is one thing funny I am going to relate; That I have met with him twice in open debate. But never did I think for one time, That I would have to meet his wisdom in rhyme. We are glad his long search has not been in vain, Had it been we would find him searching again, But his sad weary effort has been made worth while, He at last found his preacher with that “heavenly smile.” There are so many things he hath said that’s quite true And so many more that of course will not do; And now my dear readers we will test them, and see If the failure is in “Union,” in him, or in me. On Sunday evening late I came home. And they called me up on the phone; And said: “Won’t you let the Rollers in Mr. Hale?” Just as though I carried the key of the jail. “In what,” the question came from me; “In Union Church, are you not a trustee;” Ho! my friend, I am not a trustee; And more than that I never did be. So they go ahead and make their plot; And call me one whether I am or not. In Heidelberg when friends I meet Within their homes, or on the street; “The seats, the seats,” I hear them cry, And then of course I ask them why. “Our school house,” the next they say Is being almost torn away.” “Some men down here who know no sin, Have let the Holy Rollers in, The seats they have broken of their backs, They swear they will not pay their tax. I passed by Needmore where they had been, I did not think it would be a crime or a sin, So I took the situation in, And the seats were all setting out And not a living soul about; Yes, the seats all out and the table too, Exposed to the sun, the rain and the dew. And I saw seats there that were broken through. So I think my friend Mr. R. has acted real wise, In building his pulpit of railroad ties; So the rocks, may read, and the earth may quake, But the railroad ties will never break. So if there’s anything beneath the skies That can hold them, it is those railroad ties. So at Pleasant Grove on our regular time, We found the Rollers all in line; Some thought what they said that day would be all, But we had in our midst Dee Woolums and Ball. So Ball did preach when he hit the floor, Then Woolum proceeded to read them some more; He read in God’s Word about some false teachers, And the shoe seemed to fit the Roller preachers. So I heard them talking in an unknown tongue, And I knew the thing had then begun; Then he read some more and started the power, Which lasted more than half an hour. They jerked, they danced, they jabbered, and rolled; And the half they did could never be told. It made me think of the time so dry, When the prophet of God to the Lord did cry; So they shut up the heavens and the rain did cease, And there was no water for man or for beast; Elijah said: “Ahab, our God we will test; And the one that has not been the liar, His God will answer him by fire.” Then they laid their sacrifice on wood: And all Baal’s prophets around it stood. We see them humbly bow down And put their faces to the ground They cut themselves, with knife and lance, But we do not say that they rolled or danced. “Cry loud, cry loud,” said the prophet of God; Baal may be sleeping, or a journey has trod. It was nice of my friend as it would be of all To entertain Riley, Lewis, and Ball; But there is one thing we are learning, the great and the small That our church was not built for a dancing hall. We should all give praise to this old teacher, For giving to the world such a wonderful preacher; Who fights education to the end of the row, I suppose he would fight it wherever he would to. So the more ignorant a man is the better he can preach, And the less that he knows the more he can teach; The more ignorant he is the more gospel he knows, And it gives him religion to the end of his toes. Yes I reached forth my hand and received his donation For he and my wife you know are relations But I did not think it would break his heart, When him and his money would have to part. I will return it to him in the Christian style, For if you give him an inch he will sure claim a mile; So we will just send it back to this bountiful liver, And accept five dollars from some more cheerful giver. There is one thing I’ve learned from the dear Lord of hosts, When I give to his cause not to brag or boast. But as the Lord doth prosper give faithful and true, Let the left hand not know what the right hand will do, Then so many times it has been in my life, I have given to the cause without telling my wife. “My preacher, my preacher,” we hear him say, And that’s just what s the matter with the world today; Too few to Christ and his gospel plan. He places himself in front of the line With his heavenly smile, “That preacher of mine” And says real smart preachers are far far behind. Not those that are whole, but they who are sick, That need the physician so sure and so quick; But they don’t believe what Jesus said, And won’t call a doctor until they are dead And then oh my! I have heard them say; “God took my child to change my way.” When the Apostle Paul stood on the tower, He (said) the gospel was Gods power; But we now see God’s anointing hand Slaying infants throughout the land To reform a Holy Roller band. So I hope my friend Mr. R. will learn their tricks And not call the doctor when he gets sick; If he does he will surely lose those powers, That makes them jerk for hours and hours. But he should be very quiet and still, Then he will recover at his will And save himself the doctor’s bill. So another Church in this sad world of woe, Must up on the banks of White Oak Creek go; So my friend Mr. R. can happy be, For this is for his preacher you see. And just one favor from this kind friend I’ll ask, Before he starts into his Church building task; That he will place just above the door, or on the floor In letters very large and bold, this is the place to dance and roll. Then build your house the best you can, And make it strong so it will stand; Then when the Rollers swarm in like bees, You can take your lanterns from the trees. So brace your seats and oil the floor, Then dance and roll forever more. Then when the trials of earth is done, the battle fought, the victory won, You can take your preacher by the hand, and mount up to that glory land; And shout while passing through the sky; “Farewell! vain world, goodbye, goodbye.”