Woman Of The Year: She knows herself :)
Man Of The Year: Since I can't award this to myself, the man is Daniel Toroitich Arap Moi - He may have run us into the ground but when push came to shove he stepped aside and handed over the power. He could have tried something stupid like extending his term or holding on to power by force but didn't. And that makes Mr Moi The Room's Man Of The Year
Circus Of The Year:
Bore Of The Year: No offence to His Excellency Mwai Kibaki , but even his best friends would not call him interesting, or for that matter, the life of the party. Any party. His speeches lack colour, his clothes lack colour, and his parties are as dull as dishwater. Only an exceptional man serves mineral water at a New Year party!
Bullshit Of The Year:
- In the prostitution swoop arresting the girls and releasing the MPs and Ministers to spare them embarrassment, and to crown it off, having the commissioner saying proudly that "no male wa arrested in the operation!"
- Texas Ranger George W Bush and his dog Tony 'Toto' Blair going to war over weapons of mass destruction that are still conspicuous by their absence
Buffoon Of The Year:
- Security Minister Christopher 'Sweatyface Edmonds' Murungaru, who in his tent-like suits caused chaos whenever he opened his buffoonish mouth, ranging from Mungiki to terrorists to 100 million bob to celebrate 40 years of bull crap
- Assistant Minister Danson Mungatana. This is a gentleman who clearly loves the sound of his still yet to break adolescent voice. Man can't spend ten minutes without TALKING! When he learns to shut his mouth millions countrywide, led by myself, shall rejoice!
Moments Of The Year:
- The tribute to Cameroon's Marc Vivien Foe by the French and Cameroonian teams after he collapsed and passed away on the pitch during the Confederation's Cup.
- The unfortunate news that the Iranian twins joined at the head passed away during the surgery to separate them
Crap Of The Year: NARC has made 400, 000 jobs. HA HA HA!!
Shame Of The Year: Politicians playing games of bedminton on Koinange street just weeks after declaring total war on AIDS
Shocker Of The Year: Deranged man who raped a little girl and ruined her life forever
Surprise Of The Year: NARC systematically breaking each and every campaign promise made to the people of Kenya
Jackass Of The Year: Without a shadow of a doubt, that cretin Koigi Wa Wamwere. This dude is always talking. It is pity that sense never comes out of his mouth. If he's not receiving money from the Norwegian Government after claiming injury, or money from a University doing research so secret he himself does not know he;s doing it, he's brining into Kenya Ethiopian peasants who don't even know who Mathenge was and why he was a general, or asking everyone but himself to resign.
Ass Kissers Of The Year:
- Cooperative Minister Njeru Ndwiga, telling anyone dreaming of running for President in 2004 that they are dreaming.
- Labour Minister Chirau Mwakwere, who early this year declared he is the sole LDP official and not two weeks ago was applauding as Kibaki declared all affiliate parties of NARC obsolete
- Kiambaa MP Njenga Karume, declaring his total support to Kibaki in the infamous meet the people tour |