Dear Sir,

Pardon the scorched paper, but we are writing from extremely warm conditions that don't lend themselves well to the sustenance of pen and paper. Also pardon the sweat that has dripped copiously and blurred most of the ink. I once again attribute this to the extremely warm atmosphere down here.

Being the all knowing and almighty, you shall no doubt be familiar with me and my townspeople, as well as our neighbours. That is to say, Sodom and Gomorrah.

The truth be told, I was telling my boy -- er -- friend the other day that I've always thought you were a teensy mite hasty torching the towns like that. There was a lot of very fine cheeses there that went to waste.

But I digress. You made us all (and the cheese too) and I concede fully that you're the boss and you make the rules. You will recall me mentioning that I defended myself by saying that my Bible was smudged where it said Eve, resulting in our reading Steve. You will also doubtlessly remember raising a sarcastic eyebrow and commenting how funny it was that my Bible was smudged on all occurrences of Eve. I for one remember Saint Peter laughing till tears rolled down his cheeks when you asked about the mass smudging that affected two entire cities.

Sorry, I digress again. Well, given the evidence before us we realized we had no option but to go downstairs, which is where we have been since. BTW that guy who runs this place, the dude with the horns, has ISSUES. You'd think a forward thinking landlord would invest in some air conditioning, cool drinks and swimming pools. But nooo! This guy's ISSUES have to be seen to be believed! No wonder you threw him out on his ear!

But this is not why I am writing. I am writing with reference to one Gene Robinson. You cannot imagine -- er, sorry, I suppose you can -- the incredulity that me and my lads experienced when we watched the feller put on that funny pointed hat and people start to call him Bishop.

Yep, I can tell you for a fact that there are some BITTER lads down here. Even the landlord down here had difficulty controlling them I can tell you.

I confess that at first I was just as annoyed but on retrospect I tried to explain to my lads that by and large man is a beast whose antics baffle. I mean, you send someone to save them and they kill him! They were a bit mollified but I assure you sir that seeing the gent waving merrily in his new robes is driving the fellas crazy!

Oddly enough the Landlord here has been smiling to himself and arranging a special room with a fireplace SAUNA, of all things.Much as I'd like everyone to get their just desserts, having sample the conveniences of this warm atmosphere, I'd give a liver to keep anyone else from coming down here.

Anyway, the bottom of my sheet of paper has burnt off so let me end here.

Yours,

Me.