The White Horses

The Rude Version

One summer teenager Julia stays at her uncle's stud farm

Episode 1: Julia is out riding with her favourite stallion Boris

Why are you looking at me like that? Do you like me, Boris? What about when I do this?
LATER ON THAT AFTERNOON
You silly boy How about this?
I don't know what happened there But it was lovely What shall we play now?
THE END
Perhaps this is what having a boyfriend is like

Throughout the series, Julia has many other adventures. Below is an episode guide.

Episode 1:
Julia comes to stay at the Lippizaner stud which is run by her Uncle Dimitri and renews her friendship with the famous white horses		 It's so good to be back.
Episode 2:
Uncle Dimitri teaches Julia his funny game		 Are you sure this is how you play the game, Uncle? Shut up and keep riding.
Episode 3:
Julia invents a game of her own		 Let's play horsies!
Episode 4:
Something happens to Julia she doesn't expect		 Ugh! What happened there? Must get dry clothes.
Episode 5:
The gypsies steal Julia's underwear from the washing line but she tracks them down and has them deported		 Those gypsies won't be removing my underwear in a hurry again, eh, Maria? No, Miss Julia. All we need now is to get rid of the Slovenians! Another glass of my home-made ginger beer? My insides are all wrong.
Episode 6:
Julia encounters some local boys down by the river		 What do you mean, you 'want to ride me'?
Episode 7:
An old tramp grabs the reins of Julia's horse, but she beats him off with her riding crop		 What were you trying to do to me?
Episode 8:
Uncle Dimitri returns from the taxidermist with another draught excluder		 Why do we have so many draught excluders? This one's a different colour. Alas, poor Othello, I knew him well.
Episode 9:
Farmhand Andrej shows Julia how to take a sample		 Grasp it firmly!
Episode 10:
Maria goes up to top paddock and sees Julia in danger		 You stupid girl! Don't you know better than to tease a fully grown stallion with your silly games? When I think of that big stallion and your young Muschi...
Episode 11:
Julia tries to impress a man. She dismounts from her horse and pretends to fall.		 Catch me! Those jodhpurs are very tight. I can see your Muschi, you little Lolita. The gypsies have still got my underwear. You're not the first teenage girl who couldn't find her underwear at the end of her summer holidays. Do you want me to chase you again?
Episode 12:
Every time she rides past the tramp he grabs the reins. Finally she realizes that he is a masochist.		 I'm not going to beat you again, I am going to have you arrested. Please accompany me to the nearest police station. It wasn't the gypsies who stole your knickers, it was me! I don't believe you. What colour were they? Blue! So it was you all along!
Episode 13:
At last the summer of joy has come to an end, and Julia must return to her boarding school		 I want to thank all of you boys for making my stay here so pleasurable. You've been very attentive. We've enjoyed having you, Miss Julia.

Reconstructed dialogue:

A team of us have been beavering away for months to reconstruct fragments of dialogue from an old Slovenian language cine film. Below are the best efforts that we've come up with to date, from episode 2.

Uncle Dimitri: (speaking in a gruff Eastern European accent) Come here, Julka, you beautiful filly!
Julia: Why are you speaking like that, Uncle, we're not Eastern European. Central European, perhaps, or Southern, as we are so close to the Adriatic. But not Eastern. And don't speak Slovenian, speak German! And don't call me Julka!
Uncle Dimitri: I can't help speaking like this. I've been dubbed into Slovenian by the same man who does all the European dubbed shows.
Julia: So why am I still speaking German?
Uncle Dimitri: Don't ask me. What do you expect from a kids' show with low production values. I'm already thinking of my next career move. My cousin Otto in Vienna does movies, only his have got donkeys in them.
Julia: I was in a film with a donkey once, and I didn't like it.
Uncle Dimitri: I enjoyed the one I was in.
Julia: Did you appear with boy donkeys or girl donkeys?
Uncle Dimitri: Girl donkeys of course, there's nothing queer about me! It's quite well paid, I can get you in if you like.
Julia: Ok, but tell him I want the money first, I'm not going to get caught out like that again. Do I need to take a blood test?
Uncle Dimitri: Not with donkeys, no, why do you ask?
Julia: I have got oxyphobia, a fear of sharp things. I have managed to avoid needles up to now. I'm seventeen years old, and I haven't felt a prick yet.
Uncle Dimitri: That's not what I've heard. Are you going to ride out to the pool to bathe today?
Julia: How did you know about that? I used to ride out to a rock pool each day to go skinny-dipping, but then I noticed that a local boy was watching me.
Uncle Dimitri: So now you ride out to the pool to bathe twice a day.
Julia: Don't be rude, or I shall beat you with my riding crop!
Uncle Dimitri: Promises, promises. I just love it when you talk to me in that stuck-up manner of yours. You posh girls are all the same.


more reconstructed fragments of dialogue 1
more reconstructed fragments of dialogue 2
more reconstructed fragments of dialogue 3
more reconstructed fragments of dialogue 4
more reconstructed fragments of dialogue 5
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