Leaning
By Dana
Disclaimer: Sadly, not mine. Max and Liz are borrowed from the powers that be. Liz has been returned, Max will be returned a little later.
“Max, just take a psych class, because you *are* controlling.”
“Hey, I am who I am. I’ve got a lot going on, and I’m trying to make things work!”
“Max, you know what your problem is? You put everything on yourself...on your own shoulders. Maybe you should have some faith in the people around you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Max held her gaze for several long seconds before bowing his head slightly and staring at the floor. “Maybe you’re right...”
“No ‘maybe’ about it; I’m right. Max, the people you care about are stronger than you think...we’re not going to break if you start leaning on us.”
He looked up at her quickly. “‘We’re’? You said...”
“Yeah, I’m including myself in that, Max.”
“Oh.”
Liz watched in amusement as Max ducked his head again and began kicking out a scuff mark on the floor, all the while trying to hide the grin that played over his lips. Those lips...//Bad Liz! Don’t go there!// She watched him for a few moments more with a shy smile of her own, then forced herself to ask him what she’d been wondering since he had tapped on the glass door.
“Max...I’m getting the feeling that you didn’t just come here to give my non-relationship with Kyle your blessing. What’s wrong?”
He sighed heavily, realizing that he’d been hoping all along that she would sense something else was amiss. “I just...I needed to talk to you, and I know I have no right to do this...”
She interrupted him. “No right? To do what?”
“To come here and just unload on you. I mean, I said I needed to take a step back, and I’ve been trying really hard to keep my distance from you, but now...Liz, everything’s spinning out of control, and I...I need you.”
Liz managed to control herself, even after his husky words, until she saw tears glistening in his eyes. Without thinking, she stepped forward and plastered herself against him, somehow knowing that he desperately needed the physical contact.
He let out another heavy sigh and dropped his head to rest on her shoulder, letting a few tears escape into her fluffy red sweater. He held her close to him, so tightly that he expected her to protest, but she only tightened her own grip on him in response. An involuntary smile flitted across his face as she ran a hand through his hair and across the back of his neck, rocking him gently from side to side. He closed his eyes and let out another, happier sigh as he snuggled into the crook of her neck.
Liz felt him begin to relax against her, but she didn’t stop ruffling his silky dark hair, nor could she bring herself to pull away from him just yet. Finally, and with great reluctance, she eased away from him until she could look into his eyes. She saw that he was misinterpreting her retreat, and she quickly reassured him.
“Max, as much as I wish I could, I can’t solve your problems by just holding you in my arms. Why don’t you come upstairs with me, and we can sit down and get comfortable, and you can tell me what you’re so upset about and what I can do to help, okay?”
A half smile lifted one side of Max’s mouth. “You’re asking me to lean on you.”
“Yup. I am. Deal with it.” She told him firmly, and his half-smile turned into a full-fledged one.
She walked around him and quickly re-locked the door, then turned to face him. At his inquisitive look, she blushed slightly. “I just thought...no interruptions, you know? Besides, I’m done down here.”
“Won’t your parents...”
“Oh, they’re not here.”
“They...they’re not?”
Liz choked back a giggle. //Is he nervous about being alone with me???//
“They had this restaurant convention to go to in Albuquerque, so they won’t be back ‘til day after tomorrow. Why, Max Evans...” She suddenly adopted a Southern drawl. “Are you afraid to be alone with little ol’ me?”
He flashed a grin at her and copied her accent. “No, ma’am!”
She took his hand in hers and guided him to the back of the Crashdown, flipping out the lights as they went. When they arrived in her living room, Max tugged her to a stop.
“Um...speaking of parents...I should probably call my mom...I kinda didn’t go home after school today and she’ll be worried.”
Liz nodded. “Okay, phone’s over there. Do you want to just tell her that we’re working on a project for biology together?”
“Good idea.” Max shucked his coat and walked to the phone, oblivious to her admiration of how his jeans were hugging his backside.
She gave herself a mental shake and walked into the kitchen to make cocoa while he called his mother.
“Hi, Mom...it’s Max. Yeah...no, I’m at Liz’s. Well, we have this biology project to work on...no, I don’t know how long it’ll take.”
Liz’s eyebrows drew together in worry as she heard Max’s tone becoming somewhat desperate.
“Well, I may just end up going straight to school from Liz’s...it’s a big project. No, I’m not avoiding you, Mom...can’t we talk about this tomorrow? Mom, please...”
At that point, Liz entered the room holding two steaming cups of cocoa in her hands. Catching Max’s gaze, she winked at him and spoke loudly. “Max, can you come help me with this?”
His shoulders slumped in relief. “That was Liz, Mom, I’ve gotta go...yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow. Yes, I promise. Bye.” He hung up the phone and turned to face Liz. “Thanks...she was starting the third degree again.” He accepted the mug she handed to him and sat down on the couch. “Umm...I guess I should have asked you if I could stay here before I called Mom. I can sleep on the couch, or I can go home, if you’d rather I didn’t stay.”
Liz shed her sweater and sat sideways on the couch beside him, her legs tucked under her and her knees brushing his thigh. She gave him one of her patented don’t-be-ridiculous looks. “Of course you can stay here, Max, any time you need to, and this couch is horribly uncomfortable to sleep on. You can sleep with me...I...I mean, we could...” Embarrassed, Liz’s voice trailed off.
“We could share the bed?”
“Yeah...if you want to.”
“I want to.”
Liz could feel her cheeks heating under his steady gaze. She made an effort to get the conversation into safer waters. “Max, why would your mom be giving you the third degree? What’s going on?”
“Well, it started with the kitchen fire...”
“The WHAT? Max, are you okay?” Her eyes swept over him, searching for any visible signs of injury.
“I’m fine, really. Mom was closer to the fire than I was, and...”
Liz watched him steadily as he gazed blankly into the room and filled her in on the fire, Valenti’s insinuations, and his mother’s growing suspicions.
“...so she knows I did *something*, she just doesn’t know what. And there’s this videotape of me when I was a kid...I healed this bird’s broken wing, and Mom found it when she was watching old tapes this week, so now she has all these questions, and I’m just....scared.” He glanced at Liz for the first time since he began the story and found her warm brown eyes gazing at him intently. //I feel better just having told her all that...why is that?//
“What are you scared of?”
Unable to take his eyes from hers, he answered without thinking. “That I’m going to lose all of them, and then I’ll be alone.”
“All of who, Max?”
He took a deep breath, and then the words just poured out of him. “I feel like...like Michael and Isabel are playing tug-of-war with me, and sometimes I think if I side with one of them, it’ll mean losing the other. They just drive me crazy sometimes, the way they go back and forth between forcing me to make the decisions and then not listening to me when I do. Sometimes it’s like they have a different set of rules for themselves than they do for me...Isabel goes out on dates almost every weekend, and for a while Michael was pulling Maria into the eraser room or wherever any chance he got, and if Maria hadn’t started getting ‘intense’, as he says, I really doubt he would have put a stop to it. I go out to dinner with you, and instantly there’s this huge controversy. And now...with Mom asking all these questions, it’s just causing this huge rift between the three of us, and I can’t stand that. Michael is convinced that all adults are the enemy, and Isabel wants to tell Mom the truth about us, like *now*, and I don’t know which one of them is right.”
Liz leaned forward to get his attention again. “But what about you? What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know...but I think...I don’t want to tell her.”
“Why not?”
“I just...I don’t want her to know.”
“Why did you tell me?”
Max stared at her in shock. “Wh...what?”
“Why is it that you wanted me to know about your secret, but you’re so freaked out about telling your mom?”, she asked softly.
He couldn’t hold her steady gaze anymore. “Because...it’ll change things.”
Liz smiled sadly as she remembered him saying something very similar to her under very different circumstances. “Change things how? Max?”
As he remained silent, a horrifying thought occurred to her. She began shaking her head in denial as his fears became clearer. “You don’t...you can’t seriously believe that your mom won’t love you anymore if she knows the truth about you!”
Max suddenly became intensely interested in a snag in the couch fabric, brushing his fingertips over it repeatedly. Just when Liz had given up on him answering her, he spoke in a voice that somehow sounded very young and frightened.
“Maybe I do.”
When he dared to glance up at her, he saw she was shaking her head at him again.
“You couldn’t be more wrong.”
Max stood suddenly and began to pace in front of the couch. “I wish I could believe that, but I can’t take the risk! How can I tell her that her two nice, *normal* children not only have all these weird powers, but that we aren’t even human? Of course it’ll make a difference...how could it not?”
“It didn’t to me.”
He stopped dead in his tracks and faced her. “...Liz?”
She sat frozen, as if by staying still, she would cause time to stop until she figured out a way to call those revealing words back out of the air. //Oh God...oh God...oh God...I *so* did not mean to say that...that was totally against the whole ‘step back’ idea...and he’s still staring at me...say something to him!!!//
“Umm...yeah?” //Brilliant, Parker.//
“What do you mean, it didn’t make a difference to you?”
Liz practically bounced off the couch and busied herself taking their now-empty mugs into the kitchen to rinse them. She refused to look at him as she hurried into the next room, missing the hopeful look he was giving her. “I...nothing! I didn’t mean...so, you had a kitchen fire?”
Max crept into the kitchen behind her and gently took the mugs out of her hands. “Liz, please? I need to know what you meant.” You don’t know how much, he added silently. It wasn’t just an expression, he truly *needed* to hear her say that she had cared about him before the shooting and the subsequent events; he physically ached for it. The mere thought that her feelings for him might be every bit as deep as his for her was utterly intoxicating.
He was standing entirely too close for her sanity, but as the minutes passed, he didn’t back away. She felt him pulling out the elastic band that imprisoned her hair, and then his fingers began combing through it almost reverently. Liz smiled unwillingly; he seemed to have some sort of obsession with her hair.
He stopped playing with her hair reluctantly and pressed a few soft kisses against the top of her head. His hands drifted down to her arms, and began stroking her skin where the sleeves of her uniform ended. His head bent until his lips were brushing her ear. He felt her entire body begin to tremble and he took advantage of his gentle grip on her arms to urge her backwards against his body. “Please, Liz?”, he rumbled softly. “Tell me...”
“Okay,” she responded breathlessly, “but let’s go back in the living room, all right?”
“I kind of like it here.”
“So do I, but I can’t think with you this close to me.” Without waiting for him to respond to her, she wriggled out from between him and the counter.
Max shuddered at the sense of loss he felt when his body lost contact with hers, then sighed and quietly followed her back into the living room.
She kept at least two feet of space between them as they walked back into the other room, and sat sideways on the couch again, her knees preventing him from inching closer to her.
He looked down at her legs, then back up at her, with a look that told her he knew exactly why she had chosen to sit in that position. She shrugged at him, and then took a deep breath, trying to decide where to begin. //Okay, just start at the beginning, with him getting off the bus that day, and whatever you do, don’t tell him you adored him on sight!//
“I’ve adored you from the moment you got off the bus in third grade.”, she blurted out. //Oh, way to be subtle, Liz.//
Max’s jaw dropped and he just stared at her, unable to speak.
She didn’t dare look up at him. //Well, he hasn’t screamed in terror or fled the room like most guys would do, and it’s too late to back out now, so...// “You got off the bus, and you looked at me, and...I don’t know what it was, but it felt like we...connected somehow, right then and there. But you always kept me, and everybody else, at such a distance, Max. I was always afraid to tell you how I felt because I was sure you’d never even noticed me.”
She could feel him staring at her, but she couldn’t raise her eyes past the muscular hand that seemed to get closer to her knee every time she looked at it. “Maria was always telling me that you were staring at me, but I just figured she was wrong, or that it was something else, you know? Like maybe I had a weird hair thing, or maybe you were an artist and you just found my face...drawable, or something. I almost got up the courage to ask you out once, to the Homecoming dance in Freshman year, remember? I asked you if you were going, and I dreamed you’d say ‘yes’, or ‘maybe’, or maybe even ask *me* to go, but instead you said you weren’t really into that sort of thing, so I chickened out. I thought that if you were at *all* interested in me, that you wouldn’t have said that, and are you ever going to stop me from babbling?” She darted a look at his face for the first time since she’d begun rambling, and was instantly mesmerized by his eyes. They were much, much darker than usual, and he was staring at her like he was about to pounce. “Max? Say something, please? ‘Cause the longer you go without talking, the more embarrassing that whole outburst becomes.”
“I love you.”
He’d spoken so softly that Liz wasn’t sure she’d heard him. “You...what?”
Max grinned at her. The entire time she’d been talking, all he’d wanted to do was tell her that he *had* noticed her, had practically worshiped her for the past eight years, but when he opened his mouth, that was what had come out. Judging from the light in her eyes, he decided, those three words had been exactly what she’d wanted to hear. “I love you. I always have, Liz.” He reached out and captured her hand with his, squeezing it gently. “So that’s why you mentioned the dance...at the time I thought you were just making polite conversation. I wish I’d known...”
“So do I...but maybe it’s okay that we each didn’t know how the other felt. I mean, we’re here...*together*, aren’t we?” Liz pointed out.
“Yeah, we are.” He began moving towards her slowly, giving her plenty of time to figure out his intent. Right before his lips touched hers, she put a hand against his shoulder and stopped him. It took more control than Max had ever dreamed he had to refrain from kissing her, but he somehow managed it.
“You said this made you lose your balance,” she reminded him hesitantly.
He gave her the shy half-smile she’d always loved. “I was stupid.”
Liz couldn’t stop herself from giggling. “Yeah, you were.” She tried to sound serious, but she was just too happy for it to work.
“Forgive me?” His voice held the same giddy note hers did.
“Of course.”
He took a deep breath and spoke in a low, suddenly urgent tone. “Love me?”
She gave him a gentle smile and began stroking her fingertips under his chin, urging his face closer to hers. “Since I was eight years old.” Wanting to give him the same gift of words that he had given her, she whispered “I love you, Max...” right before her lips closed over his.
Max tried to hold back a moan as a wave of need rushed through him. Keeping away from her after he’d learned the taste of her had been sheer torture, and now his body was clamoring for him to make up the lost time. His lips parted, and his tongue glided gently over her bottom lip.
She relaxed her jaw and allowed him inside, shuddering as he took complete possession of her mouth. On an impulse, she sucked on his tongue, and then let out a satisfied purr at his surprised cry. Unhappy with the amount of space between them, she rose onto her knees and leaned over him, never once allowing her lips to lose contact with his.
He could feel her stroking his cheeks, his neck, and his shoulders, her hands roaming over him as if she wanted desperately to explore everywhere but didn’t dare to yet. Pulling away briefly to make eye contact with his love, he was distracted by the neckline of her uniform. His eyes followed the silver material down to the V that was almost at his eye level. His fingers itched to pull apart the snaps of her dress, and he had to clench his hands into fists at her sides.
Liz stifled a giggle when she realized what had captured his attention. //That answers that question...I’ll have to tell Maria that Max is *not* a leg man...// She inhaled deeply, and his eyes widened. She started laughing then, collapsing into his lap and curling into him. She hid her face against his shoulder, peeking up at him every once in a while and then erupting into more giggles.
Max grinned at her sheepishly, realizing she knew exactly what he’d been thinking. When she finally quieted down, he tilted her face up to his and stopped just short of letting his lips touch hers. “Are you done?”
“Mmmhmm.”
“Sure?”
“Yes.”
“*Really* sure?”
“Max!!!”
He gave her an unrepentant grin and then he was kissing her hungrily. The taste of her made his head whirl. His tongue lashed hers gently, making her gasp and wriggle on his lap. He groaned and grabbed her hips with both hands in an attempt to hold her still. Every time she moved against him, he was filled with thoughts of carrying her to her bedroom and making love to her until they were both too exhausted to move, and it was too soon...
“Liz...we’ve got to slow down.”
When his words registered, she pulled away and regarded him warily. “Slow *what* down, exactly?”
He could tell from her expression that she was expecting him to take yet another step back. “This...the physical side of our relationship. I want us to be sure, and I want it to be right. So...”
“So, we’ll just see how things go, and when the time is right...”, she finished. When he nodded at her, she smiled and tried to move off his lap. When his grip tightened on her again, she glanced at him in surprise. “What? Why do you do that every time I move...” Her voice trailed off as she finally noticed Max’s clenched jaw, the tension in his body, and the interesting fact that there was something harder than concrete pressing into her thigh. Her eyes widened and she blurted out “That will NOT fit!”
It was Max’s turn to laugh as she clapped a hand over her mouth when she realized what she’d said. Blushing bright red, Liz hopped off his lap and scampered into the kitchen.
He stood up, not without some discomfort, and followed her. He found her standing in front of the open refrigerator, waving the door back and forth to create a cooling wind. Not daring to get too close to her at the moment, he stayed in the doorway. “Mind if I use your shower?”
Liz jumped slightly, then responded automatically. “Sure, it’s down the hall and first door on the right. There should be towels to the left of the sink.”
“Thanks,” he said softly, and he padded down the hall and into the bathroom.
Liz drifted to the doorway, and watched him walk down the hall. When the bathroom door snicked shut behind him, she shook her head and tried desperately to not think about the fact that she hadn’t heard it lock. She busied herself turning off the lights and making sure that the doors were locked, and then she grabbed her nightclothes out of her bedroom and started into her parents’ room to get ready for bed. When she got to her bedroom door, she reconsidered. She walked back to her dresser and put her usual choice of pajamas away. She dug to the back of the drawer, hunting for the matching satin top and boxers that she had bought on a wild impulse the day after Max had kissed her for the first time. When she found them, she rushed into her parents room to change before she lost her nerve.
Max walked into her room a few minutes later, realizing that she must be changing somewhere in the apartment. He left his shoes by her dresser and dropped his sweater and t-shirt on a nearby chair. Still wearing his jeans, he walked to her bed and gingerly sat down. //Maybe I should go sleep on the couch...but she said we could share, and she wouldn’t have offered if she didn’t want me here with her.// He debated with himself for a few minutes, then gave up and crawled beneath the blankets, knowing that he wouldn’t get a wink of sleep all night unless he had her beside him. He left her light on and sat up against the wall, waiting anxiously. Before he could change his mind again, Liz walked in.
She stopped short when she saw him in her bed. Her eyes traveled over his bare chest, tracing every line of muscle. When he tossed the covers back and started to get out of bed, she realized he was misreading her hesitation.
“I’ll just sleep on the couch.”
“No! I mean...I like this.” She waved her hand at him and her bed. “I like having you here...it feels right.”
He let out a sigh of relief. “Yeah, it does.” He sank back into the bed, sliding over to give her plenty of room. He held the covers up for her and watched with appreciative eyes as she lay down beside him, then rolled over to flip out the light and set the alarm clock.
Liz turned back to face him, and they both ended up cuddled together in the middle of the bed. She felt him tucking the blankets in around her shoulders, and then his arms slid under the covers and around her waist. She rested her head on his shoulder and threw an arm over his chest, relishing the feeling of his bare skin beneath hers.
He pressed several small kisses against her hair, and smiled when she mumbled “Love you...”
“I love you too...Liz?”
“Yeah?”
“What happens next? I mean, what do you want to happen?”
“Right now?”
He grinned into the dark. “No, with us, you know...”
“*Us* us.”
“Yeah.”
Liz lifted her head and looked up at him. “Well...I want us to be together; be a couple...”
He gave her a quick kiss and whispered “Me too,” against her lips.
“But I don’t want to come between you and Michael and Isabel.”
“I won’t let that happen...I’m going to talk to them tomorrow, and I’ll try to work this out with them. Maybe I can find out why they’re so scared by the idea of you and me.”
“You don’t know?”
“I have an idea...I think they’re nervous because they know that I’m in love with you, and they take that more seriously than any of Isabel’s dates or whatever Michael’s got going on with Maria. He may love her, but he certainly isn’t admitting it to anyone, least of all himself.”
“You told them that you loved me?” Her voice held a touch of wonder.
“I think I was embarrassingly obvious about it...after we took that damn ‘step back’, all I did was stay in my room and listen to depressing music,” he admitted. He gently settled her head back onto his shoulder and added, “Don’t worry about the three of us...we’ll work this out.”
“And your mom?”
“I suspect that after she met you at the hospital, she went out and ordered wedding invitations with only the date left blank.”
Liz laughed merrily. “I doubt it! But I meant, what are you going to do about your mom’s questions?”
Max sighed deeply. “I don’t know...but I’m afraid to drag her into this. She’s barely civil to Sheriff Valenti as it is, if she knew the truth and knew that he was hunting us...”
“So you’re not going to tell her?”
“I don’t know...I don’t think I’ll know ‘til I see her tomorrow.” He felt Liz nod against his shoulder.
“Whatever you decide, I’ll back you up on it, Max.”
He kissed her forehead gently and raised his left hand to clasp her right one where it lay on his chest. “Thank you.”
“Mmmhmm.”
He could tell by her breathing pattern that she was drifting off to sleep. “‘Night, Liz.”
“‘Night...”
He couldn’t stop smiling as she shifted against him and fell fast asleep. He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it, then rested his head against hers and fell into a peaceful sleep for the first time since he’d taken a step back.
Distribution: Ask me first, please.
Feedback: Of course!!!
Author’s Notes: The first three lines of dialogue (above the ~~~~~~ thingie) are transcribed directly from the show. The rest is mine. Stuff between // // marks denotes character thought.