Title: Crisalis Author: Nina E-Mail: chapman@mbusa.net Category: Max / Liz / Romance Rating: PG (Mild Swearing) Summary: Liz is uncomfortable with the truth about Max. Then somethinghappens that changes her mind. Spoilers: You better have seen the Pilot. Nothing much else. Disclaimers: Seriously, people. Do I sound like I own Roswell? Why would I be writing fan fiction? Author`s Note: Takes place early in the show after the Pilot. Starts out when Max tells Liz the truth about him. I have swiped some material from the Melinda Metz books in this one, but most of it is mine. (Sorry Melinda.) Throughout the story I have put in songs that would be played throughout the episode. I strongly suggest checking the songs out. You can sample all of them on CDNOW.com. The songs featured on this fanfic are from the following albums: Dido`s No Angel, Bush`s The Science of Things, and Alanis Morissettte`s Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie. Please, people, I`m down on my knees about this: I really, REALLY would appreciate some kind of response from anyone who reads this, because I want to know if I`m doing okay. Just send me a sentence, a word, ANYTHING! Well, here we go. Enjoy. "I`m different," Max said. Liz stared. "I don`t understand..." "I`m not like you. I have..." Max thought. He wanted to be careful about what he said. He didn`t want to scare her. It could be very easy to mess up and just creep her out. "You saw those cells on my pencil." Liz nodded. Max kept fidgeting around. She could tell he wasnervous. "See...I wasn`t born like you. I came out of an incubation pod I was in for a long time." "Max?" "Okay, you`re losing me, aren`t you?" "I don`t get this," Liz said. "What are you trying to say?" "My parents weren`t human," he blew out. "They died in a crash forty years ago." Liz didn`t look as surprised as she should be. She crossed her arms and glared at him instead. Max tried to continue. "I was able to heal you because-" "Max," Liz said suddenly. "I don`t have to listen to this. I need to go. I thought you were going to tell me..." She took her backpack from his bed and and swung it over her shoulder. She turned to leave but Max grabbed her shoulder. "I`m not lying to you, Liz." "How do I know that?" Liz said doubtfully. "I don`t think I could if I wanted to." Liz`s backpack dropped to the floor. She crossed her arms again. "Do you think this is funny? You`re telling me you`re some kind of alien and I`m just supposed to go, 'Oh, sure, Max, sure you are.' Right. Thinkagain." "It`s true. I don`t know what else to say or do to make you believeme." "How about proving it?" "I did already. In the cafe I healed you-" "You have thirty seconds," Liz said, toying with the silver charm bracelet around her wrist. Max looked around for something, anything, but his eyes fixed on that bracelet. Max grabbed her hand. "Max!" Liz said in surprise. Then she saw he was holding her bracelet and staring at it. Without warning, the bracelet started to melt into metallic silver liquid, dripping from her wrist into Max`s hands. It didn`t sizzle, it didn`t feel hot, but it indeed was melting. In a matter of seconds the bracelet was a puddle of silver in Max`spalm. "I told you," Max said. Liz stepped back away from him. She was looking at Max like she didn`t even know him. "I have to go," she said in shaky breathes, leaning over to get her backpack again. "Liz-" "I have to go," she repeated. She siezed her backpack and ran out the bedroom door. Max sighed and looked down at his hand as he reformed the last bit of Liz`s charm bracelet. He`d blown it. He knew he would. Liz lay down on her bed after throwing her backpack down on the floor and held her arms across her chest. She was still a little shaky. ( The Couch by Alanis Morissette ) Max had been telling the truth. But she couldn`t believe what she had just seen... Liz got up from her bed and pulled her hair back. She grabbed a hair tie from her night stand and wrapped up the ponytail. Then she put her hands down on her knees and looked at herself in the mirror across fromher bed. Liz slowly pulled the bottom of her peasant top to see the silver handprint on her belly. She couldn`t stop looking at it. She couldn`t stop checking to make sure this wasn`t all a dream. Because maybe it was. Maybe one time she would look and it would be gone... But every time she did it wasn`t a dream. "I can`t believe this," she moaned to herself and leaned back on her bed. In exactly five minutes she was going to have to go work in the Crashdown. She was going to have to go try and act casual and okay. Casual and okay? Liz remembered when things were casual and okay. Back when she didn`t have to worry about the rumors... But they were true. And now it was going to change her life. She knew it. Things would never be the same. Well, here I go, Liz said as she got up to change into her uniform. She got it out and checked the bullet hole that she had sewn up herself. Looked normal and natural. Nothing noticeable, at least. When she got to the Crashdown it was so busy that it took ten minutes for Maria to get a few seconds of break to talk to Liz. ( Thank You by Dido ) "Liz," Maria said. "How are you doing?" "Better," Liz said. "So...Did he tell you?" "Maria, I can`t talk about it right now." "Oh...okay." Maria frowned and walked away towards a man waving his empty glass in the air. A man Liz knew named Allan Selmer came in and sat in a booth. Liz came over to take his order. "What can I get for you today?" Liz asked. "Oh...a Very Venus`ll be good." "Okay," Liz jotted down the order and took his menu. "So..." Allan said. "You had quite a surprise yesterday." "Yeah," Liz smiled. "I was pretty freaked out. But I feel betternow." "That`s good. So...what really happened? I mean, I`ve heard all kinds of stuff about some guy who was around that healed you, and a million different stories." "I just broke a ketchup bottle. I didn`t even get shot. That guy thought I was hurt so he came over. It may have looked like he healed me, but he didn`t do anything." "Hmm...I`ve heard you looked pretty dead." Liz laughed. "Well, the truth is for a minute I thought I`d really been shot. But I was okay. I was just scared." "Okay, well, I hope you can calm down. That musta been prettyscary." Isn`t that what this whole conversation has been about? Liz thought, fighting back the urge to roll her eyes. "Yeah, it was, but I think I`m okay now." Liz turned around and started to walk away until he called, "Well, it`s a good thing nobody healed you that way. Nice to know there`s no one like that runningaround." Liz turned back around. "What do you mean?" "Well, when you think about it, if there was someone who could heal that way, couldn`t they kill that way, too?" Liz tried not to show any emotion as a wave of nausea went over her. Allan went on. "I mean, if you can pull molecules back together you can pull them apart too, right?" "I don`t know, I...I guess," Liz stammered, struggling to staycasual. "Well, I`m just glad there`s nobody who can kill that way around here, aren`t you?" "Yeah, I guess. Yeah." Liz turned away and tore off the order to put it up on the counter in front. Then she sat down at the counter and ran her fingers nervously through her hair. Could Max really kill people? "You just told her?" Isabel demanded furiously. "If I didn`t explain things to her, she would go run off and tell Valenti everything about what I did to her," Max argued. "I had to make her understand." "Yeah, well you did a great job of explaining to her, didn`t you? I`m sure she`ll be fine about talking to you tomorrow at school, right after she looked at you like some monster and then ran away! You scaredher!" "Any person naturally would be scared," Max explained. "What was I supposed to do? Bake little UFO shaped cookies first?" Honk. "There`s my ride," Isabel mumbled. She left calling to him, "Just be careful is all I`m saying. Hey, Tish! When is that-" She slammed the door shut behind her. Max sighed and leaned back in his chair. He reached his hand into his pocket and took out the silver bracelet he`d been carrying around in his pocket. Would he have the nerve to give it back to Liz tomorrow? Would she even want it backafter... He could at least give it to her through Maria or something. He didn`t have to make it that big an issue. If he did he was just making it worse for Liz. He should probably just stay away from her, leave her alone. He knew he could trust her with their secret, even if she was always nervous about him and never talked to him any more, but the best he could do now was just let her be. When he had said he couldn`t lie to Liz even if he wanted to, he had meant it. He had no choice but to be honest with her. He had no choice but to trust her too. Liz sat down in biology class the next day to find her bracelet sitting on the table. She and Max exchanged nervous glances as she cautiously picked it up, but Liz instantly looked away and started to get her stuff out for class. The teacher explained that every group was going to get a mystery material in an envelope and they all had to figure out what theirs was. Liz and Max got theirs and Liz said, "How about if we see how it burnsfirst?" Max nodded and got out the bunsen burner. Liz gripped the piece of metal-or whatever- in the pliers and held it over the flame, and they both watched absorbingly as the edge of the piece burned away. They didn`t realize they were both leaning in to watch it up close until they turned to each other and found their faces inches apart. Liz pulled away from him. She took the piece away from the flame, blew on it, and took it out from the pliers with her left hand. "Ow!" Liz gasped and dropped the still hot piece onto the table. Max`s action was a pure reflex and he grabbed Liz`s hand. Liz looked up at him not even for a second before nervously pulling her hand away fromhim. Max felt then like he was never going to be able to touch Liz again. Not even to generously take a "Kick Me" note off of her back. She was so cautious around him it seemed like she was about to explode if he lay a finger on her. Isabel was right, Max realized. I screwed up so bad. I scared her. Now Liz will never look me straight in the eye again. Max was sitting around in his family room with Michael when Isabel came in pacing around. "Where`s my purse?" "On the kitchen table behind the flower vase," Michael answered helpfully. Isabel sighed with relief and turned around for the kitchen. "Since when were you so observant?" Max asked. Michael shrugged. "So, I heard Liz didn`t take your explanation sowell." "No, but I`m not sure what I was expecting. We can trust her, though. Don`t worry." Michael ate a chip out of the Baked Lays bag he had. "Well, I should go. My not-so-guardian wants me to mow the lawn. Again. I mean come on, this can`t be too healthy. Soon our yard`s gonna look bald orsomething." Max laughed. "You said he just watches TV. Why don`t you just run the lawn mower motor for a while so it sounds like you did something? He won`t know the difference." "Thanks, I tried that. He figured when he heard me 'mowing the lawn' and getting a drink at the same time, something was up." Max nodded. "Well, that was your mistake." The doorbell rang. Max got up to answer it and Michael followed, getting his jacket from the hanger in the landing area. Max opened the door to see Liz standing there. "...Hi." Liz noticed Michael was inside. "Sorry, I didn`t know he washere..." "Oh, well, he was just leaving," Max said, and Michael left, rudely nudging past Liz on the way out. "Um...come in," Max said, and stepped to the side to give her room to go in. He figured for her sake he ought to keep his distance. "You want anything? We`ve got, like...everything." "No, that`s okay," Liz said. Max heard heels click on floor as Isabel walked in. "Max, do you have any idea when those...oh. Hi." Liz smiled sheepishly and waved. "Hi." "What, Is?" Max asked. "Oh! Um...never mind. Where is that stupid..." She walked off mumbling to herself. Max looked at Liz. "I think she`ll have friends over here or something soon. We should, you know, go upstairs." Liz nodded and they went upstairs into Max`s room. Max felt mean when he shut the door behind them, like he was not going to let her escape if she had to, but then he immediately regretted thinking that and just shut the damn thing. "So...sit down," Max said, and Liz sat down on the edge of his bed. He just stayed standing up for obvious reasons. Maybe if he made it look to Liz like he was purposely avoiding her as much as possible, she would feel safer that way. Liz looked around Max`s room. Is that what she came here for? Max wondered. To look at my room again? But then he realized what she was probably thinking. Probably thinking, So this is what an alien`s bedroom looks like. After all, she was seeing it that way for the first time. When she had been in there a couple days ago she hadn`t known the truthyet. Liz looked out his window and said, "Oh, a crisalis! There`s a crisalis on your tree out there." "Oh, yeah, I noticed that," Max commented as she sprang up and went over to look at it more closely. He watched as she gently poked the green crisalis with one finger. Typical Liz, Max thought. Comes over here for a serious conversation, and then she discovers a good specimen of the great doings of science to marvel over and forgets everything else going on. "How long has it been there?" Liz asked. "Couple days," Max said. "At least I noticed it there that long ago. I don`t think it`s been there long." "He`ll come out in eight or so days," Liz informed. "You should watch it if you can, it`s really cool." Liz turned around to go sit back on the bed, and then changed her mind and just stayed standing up. "Okay, Max. I`ll stop it now. I came over to talk to you." "That`s...what I figured," Max said. Liz took in a deep breath. "I need to ask you something and I need you to tell me the truth, Max." What was she going to ask? Max wondered as she turned around and dug her fingers through her hair. "Can you kill people, Max?" Liz blurted out quietly. Oh God, Max thought. She`s more scared of me than I thought. She has to be terrified of me. "I could never kill you, Liz." "But could you kill for someone else?" Liz asked, spinning around to face him "You risked your life to save me, you were willing to give your own life to. Would you give someone else`s to save someone? Would you kill for Isabel, to save her life? Would you for me?" "Yes, I would." Max couldn`t believe he`d actually said it after he did. He was going to scare the living Jesus out of her. But it was true. He`d do anything to save Liz`s life. Liz turned back away from him. "But I would even if I was human, Liz," Max said in desperate attempt to fix everything. "If I wasn`t who I am I still would. It doesn`t make any difference just because I can kill...like that." Liz didn`t look convinced. Max went over to his window. Liz watched, wondering what the heck he was doing, as he reached out and gently took the crisalis from the tree outside his window. What`s he doing? Liz wondered as Max walked over to her. Max held up the crisalis in his left hand so Liz could see, and placed his right hand over it and stared at it, starting to concentrate. Liz watched as Max pressed his fingers against the cocoon, and her mouth dropped in awe as it lit up softly with a sort of inner glow that seemed to come from the inside more than the outside. Then, after a few long seconds, the outside of it started to melt, crack, shift, and peel off into Max`s hand, and every piece that came off shriveled up into nothingness as if the glow was burning them away, which was impossible, but that`s what it looked like. Just like it had looked like Max was really melting Liz`s bracelet. Once the outside had finally all come off and dissapeared, it left behind a little black thing that Liz knew was a squeezed up mess of butterfly. This was all so amazing, Liz thought. Max had actually shifted around the molecules to speed up the metamorphosis process into a matter of seconds. Liz came closer to watch the beautiful sight and Max cupped his left hand together with his right to hold the butterfly as it stretched out it`s wrinkled wings and started to look like a normal butterfly. It was so perfect, Liz thought. The butterfly was so perfect and so beautiful it seemed unnatural, and it had only been in a crisalis for a coupledays. Max looked up at Liz to see how she was taking this, to find her eyes fixed on his hands and and her mouth forming a slight smile. He was resistant to look down at the butterfly, because why look at it when he could look at Liz like this, smiling? But he didn`t want Liz to notice him staring at her so he looked back down at the butterfly. Liz watched and started to see what Max was trying to show her. Max didn`t bring death. He brought beauty and life out of nothing. Liz cupped her hands on either side of Max`s to keep the butterfly there for just a while longer and leaned in to watch it up close from above. She just wanted to hold the beautiful butterfly with Max for a few seconds, because it looked so peaceful and beautiful fluttering it`s wings right inside Max`s hands. They both kept their eyes locked on it as it gently waved it`s wings a few times to test them out, and then fluttered out of their hands and out through the window. Max and Liz stared at the window for a moment and then looked each other softly in the eye. Liz didn`t take her hands away from Max`s. Instead she gripped his hands tighter with hers, rubbing his palms with her thumbs. Max and Liz stared at each other with lazy, distant looks in their eyes as Liz slowly slid her hands up Max`s arms. Liz fought her uneasiness as she pulled herself even closer and pressed herself against Max, laying her head against his chest. She had no idea what she was doing, but she was doing it anyway. She was so tense and nervous against Max`s body, but again she did it anyway. Max didn`t know if Liz felt sorry for being so scared, if she was just in complete amazement from the moment or what, but whatever the reason Liz was hugging him he could tell from the way she was trembling that it was taking everything in her to do it. Max ran one hand up and down her back to calm her down. He knew it was stupid to try and comfort her that way, because after all he was the problem and it would only make things worse for her. Stupid, he kept thinking, but something else kept telling him it was right as he put his arms around Liz`s waist. Maybe if he held her closer it would show her who he really was so she wouldn`t be afraid anymore. Liz had thought of Max as some walking, talking, dangerous weapon ready to fire. Now as he wrapped his arms around her she began to realize she`d been wrong. Max was warm and safe and gentle. And also big and strong at the same time, but more in a protective way. Max moved his hands around her waist and slid his right hand under Liz`s sweater to fit his hand over the metallic mark on her midriff. It served as a soothing reminder for Liz that Max didn`t kill people, he healed them. Max slid his hand back around to her back and pressed her against him again, again thinking how stupid it was for him to, and Liz relaxed her head over his shoulder. Max rubbed her back up and down and held her until Liz finally stopped shaking and relaxed completely. Max could feel her breathes on his shoulder become less excited. He felt her body loosen. She had finally become comfortable. Then shouldn`t she be breaking away from me now? Max wondered. He forgot that thought when a shiver went through him as Liz started to rub his upper back, moving his shirt around his neck. Max forgot everything and hugged her closer. There was always a way to get closer... Then Liz lifted her head and kissed him. "Hey, Maria," Liz said to her at the Crashdown. "Someone`s in a better mood," Maria said with a smile. ( Warm Machine by Bush ) "Yeah, sorry I was a bitch yesterday." "Don`t think of it. I shouldn`t have blamed you after what happened the other day. Oh, here comes that blasted Allan Selmer. Why don`t you let me take him, I wouldn`t want him to ruin your good day. Just take the next person that sits in my section." "Thanks, Maria," Liz said as she went to go get Allan`s order. Liz sat down, waiting for someone to flag her down for something. She couldn`t stop thinking about what Max had done yesterday. It was even harder to stop thinking about what they had done yesterday. She kept remembering how safe she`d felt in his arms, and thinking about how those five minutes in his room had changed her mind about everything. He had brought beauty out of nothing when he brought the butterfly out of the crisalis, and Liz was starting to feel he had brought beauty out of Liz as well when he healed her. The beauty of realizing that she had always loved Max. Well, speak of the devil, Liz thought as Isabel and Max came in through the door. She followed them with her eyes as they walked in and sat in Maria`s section. Well, I`m supposed to pay Maria back for taking Selmer, Liz remembered as she got up to go over to their table. "Hey, guys," Liz said when she got to them. "What can I do for you?" "We`re just getting drinks," Max explained. "Get me a Dr.Pepper." "Mountain Dew," Isabel said. "Get mine to go." "Okay, I`ll be back in a sec because in case you didn`t notice,we`re slow." Max laughed as she walked away. He and Isabel exchanged a look. "Well, looks like you changed her mind about a couple things,"Isabel said. "Yeah, I guess I did." "What exactly did you do to make her trust you? I mean, she`s treating you like a totally different person now." "I`m actually not sure what changed everything," Max said. "I guess all it took was a brief conversation to show her I`m still the sameguy." The truth was, Max really wasn`t sure what had happened. One moment Liz had been terrified of him, and the next she was...kissing him. He didn`t understand what he`d done. If the whole thing had just stopped after he hugged her, Max would be a whole lot less confused. But the way it had ended had him completely dumfounded. The way the last thing Liz had done was raise her head towards his and... Of course, he had liked it. It had been most exhilarating. So much that he had had to stop himself from collapsing after Liz parted from him. But he didn`t know why or how any of it had happened. He`d fantasized about it a thousand times. Enough to torture himself half to death. But he`d always told himself Liz would never...I mean, come on. He would be the luckiest guy in the world if she did. But it had just happened. Yesterday in his bedroom. But this was a dream, Max told himself. How could she...why...what had made her do it? It didn`t seem possible that after the years he`d known her and admired her and dreamed about her that she actuallyalso... "You know, I`ve tried to read body language a million times," Isabel said, snapping Max back to Earth. "Huh?" Max asked, and then figured out what she meant. He had been staring at Liz the whole time without realizing it. "Why don`t you just ask her what changed her mind? You could use that kind of information in the future." "What do you mean?" "I don`t know. It would just be useful to have knowledge of what things about yourself make you look unthreatening." "...Okay." When their drinks came out Liz brought them over and Max went up to the counter to pay. He sat back down with Isabel and she said, "Well, I`m outta here." "I`ll see you later," Max said. "And please get home a little before eleven today, you know mom can only take so much worrying about yourass." Isabel smiled. "I`ll try." She swung her purse over her shoulder and left the Crashdown. After ten or so minutes Liz came over to his table. The first thing Max noticed was she was no longer in her uniform, and that she had somewhere in between serving him his drink and coming over here now changed into a tank top and black jeans. "Don`t you...uh...work?" Max wondered aloud. Liz smiled. "My dad gave me the day off, he thought I should...'Chill out and relax.' Of course I`m fine, but I`d have to be stupid to not take the break, right?" Max laughed and said, "I guess so." Liz`s eyes drifted to the other seat in his booth. "Can I sit here?" "Yeah, sure." Liz sat down and casually stretched her arms across the table. "How was your Dr.Pepper?" "Very good," Max said. "Where`s Isabel running off to in such a hurry?" Liz asked. "Oh, she`s got something with friends again, you know. I can`t keep up with her schedule. You studied for the bio test yet?" "You bet," Liz said. "Business has been slow here for a couple hours so...you know, I`ve had plenty of time." Max`s expression turned into a less casual one and then he said more quietly, "I need you to explain something to me, Liz." "I don`t know why I need to explain anything," Liz murmured just as quietly. "I can`t make you realize something you won`t face yourself." "Like what?" Max asked. He wanted to know. He wanted to know why. When a few long moments passed and Liz still hadn`t answered him, Max sighed and said, "I have to get going." Liz stared down at the tabletop as Max picked up his jacket and got up out of the booth. It wasn`t until Max was going out the door that Liz turned back to him. "Max, wait!" She darted out of the seat and ran for the door. Max was about to get in his car when she caught up to him outside. "What did happen yesterday, Max?" "I was hoping you could tell me," Max said. "You know what, maybe you were right about this. Maybe I really am more dangerous than I think. You shouldn`t get so close to me anymore." "Oh, stop it," Liz said. "After what you did yesterday I realized I was wrong." "I didn`t do anything. I just...how did that change everything?" "You showed me yourself, Max. Maybe the way you see it it didn`t mean anything, but it did. I was so wrong about you. I can`t believe I was so...I`m sorry. That sounds really weak for what I feel about it, but I don`t know how else to say it. I`m so sorry, Max." He paused to gather that up before he spoke again. "I still don`t understand. Yesterday you kissed me, Liz. What was that? I mean was that, like, experimental, was it just to make me feel better, or what?" "Experimental?" Liz said. "Max, what do you take me for?" Max had to smile. "Come here," she said. Max and Liz stepped towards each other and Liz pulled him forward in her arms. It was very different from the time before. This time she was completely unhesitant, totally loosened, and altogether deliberate as Max pulled her into him. She didn`t tremble this time like she had before, and she didn`t do everything as slowly at all. Liz was outgoing and real about it; she clearly had long since forgotten any time when Max had seemed threatening or dangerous. Liz leaned in and planted a kiss on his lips and put her head over Max`s shoulder. Max stiffly put his arms around her. He had constantly imagined having Liz in his arms before, but the thought of him ever laying a hand on her had always seemed so forbidden. You aren`t worth her, he`d always told himself, and she`s not yours. But now she was. And now Max wasn`t sure what he was supposed to do as he held her, because he kept feeling like some criminal because it was all too good a thing for him to have. Of course it had happened before yesterday in his room, but that had seemed different. It had been just one time. There are a lot of times when the first time something happens is always the only time. He hadn`t been hesitant because he had figured it wasn`t as if it would last. But now there was second time. And if there was a second time there would very well probably be a third time, and a forth andfifth and... "Come here," Liz repeated softly into Max`s ear, and that was followed by a kiss on his cheek. She wanted him to know he could get as close to her as he wanted to, because she didn`t care anymore what he was. She wanted him to know that it was okay. Wanted him to know she washis. Max took her message and hugged her tighter, letting himself do what his mind wanted to do, what he had longed to do all the years he had known Liz. He ran his hands through her hair as she stroked a finger down his neck and upper back. Her finger tickled him and a shiver went down his spine. Max`s stomach churned and his heart pounded as he lived all the fantasies he`d dreamed up before about him having Liz tohimself. Liz held the back of Max`s head and they engaged in a sweet kiss. Max took in the moment as the minutes went by, or hours, or days, he didn`t know how long because nothing mattered as he kissed her. All he knew was that however long they were there, he could stay there forever. "Max," Liz said when she broke away from him and stared over his shoulder. "Look." Max turned around to look and followed Liz`s gaze to an elegant monarch butterfly alighted on top of the sign next to them. Max and Liz watched it until it lifted from the rim of the sign and fluttered delicately out of sight. Max looked back at Liz and smiled. [Back to Max/Liz fanfic] [Main Page]