Title: Perfect
Author: Nina
E-mail: chapman@mbusa.net
Category: Max / Liz / Romance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Max and Liz find their real destinies, you guess the rest, etc.

Disclaimers: I don`t own Roswell, I don`t own the song "Perfect" by the
Smashing Pumpkins or any of the other songs I use.
Spoilers: "Destiny"
Author`s Note: Takes place after "Destiny." I don`t have the usual long
paragraph of extra notes, so be happy :) If U don`t know all these songs
go 2 CDNOW! It`s cool!

    Isabel put her tearing face in her hands as she slid to the cold
bathroom floor and rested her elbows on the hard counter.
    ( Explode by the Cardigans )
    Max passed the bathroom and saw her shoulders shaking as she broke
into hiccuping cries. "Izzy..."
    Max came inside and shut the door behind him. This wasn`t something
Mom or Dad needed to see, and they could come home any minute. He
crouched down on the floor next to her and put an arm around her
shoulders. "Don`t do that, Isabel."
    She snapped into her normal self and got a little angry. "Why not?"
she asked, turning to him. "We`re alone, Max. We`re alone. They walked
out on us. They walked..." The tears came spilling out again. Max put
his arms around her and held her to him.
    "We`re not alone, Izzy. We have each other. We always had each other
and we always will. They got taken away from us but nothing is going to
take us away from each other. Nothing`s going to take us and Michael
away from each other either. We`re family." He regretted saying that.
Tess, family in their pre-life but not anymore. Michael too, but not
anymore. He didn`t like referring to that. But still, Michael was family
in all ways that mattered. "Yeah, remember, we`re family?"
    "So were they!" Isabel sobbed, lifting her head from his chest and
grasping onto his shirt tight with her hands in a mixture of anger and
depression. "So were they..."
    "Shh. I know."
    "What am I supposed to do now? What am I supposed to do? Are me and
Michael supposed to... I mean, Michael. Michael! My brother. He`s my
brother!"
    "I know," Max said, knowing she was gradually getting more angry
than sad by every moment.
    "It`s like someone told me I was supposed to be with you. It`s
different with you and Tess. You don`t know each other, you don`t even
know her, and that`s bad enough, but with me and him, it`s like...it`s
like I feel like it`s gonna ruin everything we had before. He`s never
going to be my brother anymore, Max, because I know in some fucking
miserable life we had before this one we were going to be married..."
    She was starting to just spill things out of her mouth that were
crossing through her mind, and some of it wasn`t even making all that
much perfect sense.
    What are we going to say when Mom and Dad see that she`s so
miserable? Max wondered. We can`t say anything.
    Max hugged her again when she started tearing non-stop again. She
kept switching back and forth: from sad to furious, from broken up and
torn apart to frustrated and angry at the world. She was going insane.
    Maybe it would be easier if I showed my emotions so much too, Max
considered. Instead of bottling up my misery. After all, what was the
point? What was the point in hiding it anymore? They were all being
ripped apart.
    But then he felt Isabel trembling and he knew the answer. If he was
still strong he had to stay that way. For Isabel. To remain strong if no
one else was going to be. If they all let theirselves become victims of
their pain than everything would fall apart from there on.
    "You need some rest," Max whispered soothingly to Isabel. She shook
her head into his shoulder. "Come on, Iz. I`m taking you to your room,
okay?"
    She took in a long, shaky breath as he stood up and brought her up
with him. She lazily kept her arms rested around him and he scooped her
up into his arms and lightly kicked the bathroom door open.
    He looked at the clock in the hall. It was almost nine. He carried
Isabel across the hall into her room and gently put her down on her bed
and pulled the covers over her. He whispered to her, "Get some rest,
okay?" as he gave her back a soothing rub and turned away to turn the
light off.
    When Max was heading toward his room he noticed the light was on.
Even at a time like this when he was making it important to get the
exact right amount of milk in his cereal in order to forget about Liz
for a few seconds, he still forgot to turn all the lights off when he
was done.
    Or maybe not, he realized when he walked in.
    "What are you doing here, Tess?"
    "Your... mother, I guess... she let me in."
    "She`s home?"
    "She was pulling up when I got here."
    "What did you come for?" Max asked her as he went to his closet.
    "I just wanted...do I need to turn around?"
    "No, don`t turn around. No, I`m not changing clothes. I`m organizing
clothes. Just like I also organized my locker today. Just like I
organized the food in the pantry earlier as soon as I got home from
school. Just like I was organizing the damn salt and pepper shakers and
the napkin holder at the restaurant I went to today, which, by the way,
was not the Crashdown, for obvious reasons, because I knew if I went
there Liz would see me organizing everything under the sun. Just like I
sorted out my old baseball cards which I haven`t touched for seven years
that are in a shoebox in my closet. And as soon as I`m done, I`ll
organize the clothes all over again. I`ll probably clean my locker again
tomorrow too. Even though none of these things need organizing, I will.
I will until I`ve organized my every possession, organized out my entire
life, and even then, Tess, nothing will be organized. Nothing will be
tidy or right or fixed. I will still understand nothing. Most of all, I
will still be absolutely miserable."
    Tess was getting the point. "I just came over here to say that I`m
sorry."
    "Don`t be sorry." Max didn`t say it sympathetically. It wasn`t a
"It`s not your fault" thing.
    "Why shouldn`t I be sorry?" Tess asked.
    "Because this is all because of you. And if you`re sorry too, hell,
what are we doing this for? What I mean you better be happy because this
is all you want, this how you wanted it all. Isn`t it?"
    "No, actually it`s not how I wanted it. Not like this."
    "I see. It`s still not good enough for you. Even though all three of
us...no, all six of us, are going crazy."
    "I didn`t want anyone to be hurt."
    Max turned around. "That`s not what you thought when your car broke
down," he commented darkly.
    She knew what he meant by that. Her eyes became sympathetic. "That
was for you. Not for Liz to see. I didn`t know..."
    "Well, let me put it this way: No matter who saw it, no matter who
was hurt, no matter what the results were, I wasn`t yours to do that
too, and you knew that. You knew that but you did it anyway. What you
should have known was that it wouldn`t work in hell."
    Max realized then: he was losing it too. First Isabel. Now it was
happening to him too. Look at how he was talking to Tess. This wasn`t
the usual Max. Not at all. And it seemed to him that the longer Tess was
standing there in that room with him, the more he wouldn`t be able to
keep himself from losing it more.
    Tess opened her mouth to say something, but he just snapped, "Get
out."
    She looked confused. "What?"
    "I`m not going to let you stand here and... just go."
    Her eyes narrowed as she slowly turned around and left through the
door. Max felt a little relieved, but of course still felt no better as
far as being completely depressed.

    Liz was filing her nails. Her nails didn`t even need filing. Didn`t
matter. Nothing mattered anymore.
    The phone rang for the second time. She sighed and picked it up.
"Hello?"
    There was a pause of three seconds and then a click.
    She couldn`t stop thinking that it could be Max. Could be.
    R-r-r-r-ing!
    It was Max.
    She seized the phone. "Max?"
    Click.
    She sighed a mumbled, "Damnit," and put it back down.
    She needed a shower.
    No you don`t, Liz snapped at herself. You need something to take
your mind off Max.
    Yes I do.
    She went into her bathroom. It was cold. The shower would feel good.

    No it won`t. You`ll feel cold no matter what, Liz. You`ll feel cold
until he comes and wraps his arms around you and-
    Don`t torture yourself.
    By the time the warm water was pounding down against her shoulders
in the shower she had given up. She was already being tortured half to
death. It wouldn`t make any difference. She let herself imagine Max with
her. She let herself think about the memories. She let herself think
about the dreams she`d had about their future.
    Because memories and dreams were all she had left. All she had left
of him. She couldn`t forget those too.
    At school today he hadn`t even been in biology class. But he`d been
at lunch. And he`d been in all the other classes with her, but in those
they hadn`t had to sit right next to each other. Where had he been? Had
he been in the mens` room staring at himself himself in the mirror in
the same pool of sadness Liz was in as she stared at the flame of the
bunsen burner in class?
    He hadn`t come to the Crashdown. She hadn`t expected him to. She
still looked up at the door every time the bell rang to say that someone
was coming in. Every time, it wasn`t Max. It was never Max.
    Things had been so perfect a few days ago, and also things were
going insane too. It seemed like so long ago that she had ran away from
the compound with him. It seemed so long ago they`d been in that
overturned truck they slept in. It seemed so long ago they`d clung to
each other every second that they made out their plan to stop Pierce.
They`d concluded that they were each other`s destinies. They`d told each
other they weren`t going to ever let anything take them apart.
    All that had been destroyed in that three minutes that they revealed
the message from Max and Isabel`s mother.
    Things that their mother had said kept running through Liz`s head.
"My son, you were the beloved leader of our people." "I have sent with
you your bride." "...I may once again hold you both in my arms." "I love
you."
    How could Lix have seen that and denied that it was important? How
could she have stayed and not allowed Max to do what she had said he had
to do? How could she have said their destinies were irrelevant to what
they really needed to do when she had heard it out of the mouth of
someone who loved Max so much? She`d known it. she`d known she had to
leave.
    And she did.
    Even more than the message she kept hearing Max begging her to stay.

    "Everything I told you before is still true."
    But that didn`t seem possible. What he`d told her was like a tiny,
unimportant concept compared to what that one powerful message from his
mother stood for. It meant nothing anymore.
    Liz turned off the shower and stepped out and started to dress into
her pajamas. The only way to shut off everything she was thinking about
was to get some sleep. She had to go back to her room and try to go to
bed.
    "Liz, wait."
    "No," Liz said aloud. "No."
    She went into her bedroom and turned off the light. The covers were
warm as she pulled them over herself in bed. not warm enough.
    "But you mean everything to me."
    "Stop it," Liz moaned into her pillow. "I can`t. go away."
    "But you mean everything to me."

    "Max," Mrs.Evans said. "You don`t look very good. Are you okay?"
    "Not really," Max said.
    "How about you go back upstairs and sleep in a little longer?"
    He shrugged and turned around. "Sure."
    "I`ll call the school."
    "Sure," he repeated. Since he and Isabel never got sick, the few
times they didn`t look well for more emotional than health reasons, they
stayed home. Maybe Isabel wouldn`t go to school either.
    He went back into his room. The light was off. He hadn`t turned it
on yet today. He`d just gotten his ass out of bed and slugged downstairs
to eat.
    When he got into bed he felt someone else in with him.
    "Couldn`t sleep?" he whispered to Isabel. She shook her head. He
figured she had come into his room early in the morning and he hadn`t
even noticed her when he woke up and left his room.
    He put his arm around her and rubbed her back a little. She cuddled
in close to him. Max couldn`t tell in the dark if she was crying again,
but he hoped not. She just seemed lazy and unwilling to get up and face
the world right now. Not as depressed as yesterday.
    Still pretty bad. She was laying in his bed in the midst of
hopelessness, for God sakes.
    "I feel so alone," Isabel whispered.
    "I know," Max said softly. "But-"
    "Isabel?!" Mrs.Evans called from the top of the stairway. "why are
you still up there? You not up for school either?"
    "No," Isabel put her head up and moaned loudly in a week voice, like
she hadn`t spoken aloud in a long time.
    "All right," they heard their mother call back and then go back
downstairs.
    Isabel rested her head back down on the bed and closed her eyes.
    "Isabel," Max whispered. "I just need to tell you that me and
Michael aren`t ever going to leave you. We`ll always be here. No matter
what happens, no matter who else we have to give up, the three of us
will still be together." When he said "who else we have to give up" he
sadly thought about their mom and dad. They still had them now, but
there was absolutely no guarantee they could stay with them forever.
    "I know," Isabel said.
    "So don`t feel so alone, Izzy. We`ll never leave you. We`ve shared
this secret forever, remember? We`ve been together so much longer than
we`ve shared our secret with, you know, Alex and Liz and Maria. We`re
like a family. We can`t be taken apart from each other. You haven`t lost
everybody, Iz."
    He could make out her smiling in the dark room. He knew Isabel
already realized everything he was telling her, but it was still making
her feel better.
    Isabel hugged him tight in their laying position. "I love you, Max."

    "I love you, too," Max said.
    It was only at a time like this that Isabel could say it. But it
probably made both of them feel better. When you`re in so much misery it
feels good to know there`s still someone there you can say that to.
    For a long time they laid there in Max`s bed, Isabel resting her
head over Max with her legs curled up tight beneath her to the side, and
Max with one arm around her shoulders laying on his back. It was nice to
be close to someone he cared about, someone who cared about him. Because
in a way, Max sort of needed to be reminded there was still someone
there, too.
    It was just like it was before that day in the cafe now. Only
entirely different at the same time. He wanted Liz, but he couldn`t have
her. It was just him and his sister and Michael.
    But then there was Tess. The one being who stood in the middle of
everything and made the one big difference between how it had been
before and how it had to be now.
    What would happen with her and Max now? He still wasn`t ready. Would
he ever be ready? Would he ever get over Liz enough to...
    He couldn`t. What was he thinking? Being with Tess just couldn`t
work for him. The thought didn`t seem possible.
    And Michael and Isabel. Not happening. Not an option. It would ruin
their relationship. It would ruin the great tight friendship they`d had
nearly all their lives. not to mention it just seemed...impossible.
Impossible in any and every way.
    Every time Max was with Tess it was like he couldn`t breathe right.
When she was around he felt the worst. When she talked to him he thought
about Liz even more. To say the least, he was extremely uncomfortable
around her. He couldn`t take having her in the same room with him.
    ...And I`m supposed to be with her?
    I can`t do this, he realized. The first thing I have to do is face
Liz. That`ll make things a little better between us.
    A little.

    "Maria, I feel absolutely hopeless," Liz moaned with her head down
in the Crashdown, her hair splattered all over the shiny surface of the
counter.
    "I know, babe," Maria said, stroking her head behind her. "Just keep
working. And keep your mind on it. That`s what I do."
    Then when the Crashdown door opened and Liz saw Max coming in she
sprung her head up in a millisecond.
    "Woah," Maria said in surprise. "Did the medicine you took suddenly
take action? Oh, I see."
    Max and Isabel were both there. They came in and sat at a table. Max
caught Liz`s eye. She looked away.
    "You take them," Liz said to Maria. She looked up at her with
pleading eyes. "Please?"
    "No way, Liz, they`re in your section. You can`t stay away from him
forever."
    "But he`s...err...how can I?"
    "Liz," Maria said more quietly. "You took the Liz he loved away from
him. Don`t take the friend Liz away from him too."
    That helped. Liz sighed and picked up her notepad from the counter
and made her way over to Isabel and Max`s table. She just stood there
and she and Max`s eyes met for an oddly long time before Liz realized it
probably didn`t look quite normal and snapped out of it. She was
embarrassed until she realized Isabel hadn`t noticed; her gaze was fixed
distantly on the tabletop. Not normal for Isabel. But who was expecting
any of them to be acting normally right now?
    Had she been like that the entire three days everyone had been
avoiding each other and being depressed? Had she been so quietly staring
off into space everywhere she went?
    "Can-can I get you anything? Um..I mean, what do you want to..." she
took in a heavy breath. They had the message before she could conclude
the sentence.
    "Um...I`ll have a cherry coke," Max said.
    Cherry coke. Shit. Of course he`s getting a cherry coke, Liz. It`s
his favorite. But him ordering a cherry coke, a cherry coke, like he
always did, somehow made her melt apart now.
    "Yeah, cherry co... sure," Liz jotted it down. "Isabel, do you want
anything to drink?"
    She stared at the table.
    Max leaned in. "Isabel," he whispered.
    She gasped and sprung up. "Yeah. Yeah. I want something... coke.
Coke`s fine."
    "Okay, a cherry coke and a coke," Liz read off. "Coming...they`ll be
coming."
    What the hell is up with everybody? I can`t even take Max and
Isabel`s drinks orders without everyone getting all twitchy and...
    "Sane or still insane?" Maria asked when Liz returned.
    "Insane," Liz reported miserably. "Absolutely, rediculously insane,"
she said a little loudly, slapping her notepad hard down on the table.
"God..."
    "You need a break," Maria said.
    "No kidding. That`s a drink order down, one food order and one
delivery to go. Shit..."
    "Shit?" Maria repeated. "Liz, since when do you say shit?"
    "Since Isabel doesn`t even hear me ask what she wants to drink.
Since Max and I stare at each other for five seconds before I realize
I`m supposed to be taking their orders."
    Maria put an arm around her shoulders. She opened her mouth to say
something, but then looked past Liz at the door and her eyes widened.
"It gets worse."
    Liz followed Maria`s stare to Tess coming inside. "Oh God..."
    ( Don`t Think Of Me by Dido )
    "Hey, girl," Maria said. "Don`t you worry. I`ll take this one."
    "No, wait. It doesn`t even look like she`s eating."
    Indeed it didn`t. She came in and sat with... Max and Isabel.
    "What`s she doing?" Liz wondered in a whisper.
    "Don`t look," Maria said. "It`ll just make you feel horrible."
    Liz moaned and turned away. There was someone new sitting in her
section. Yay. Something else to do.
    Liz finished taking the guy`s order and then turned around to the
table with the three aliens. "Would you...like something to drink?" she
asked Tess.
    "Oh, no, I`m not eating," Tess said.
    "Yeah. Okay. Right."
    As she walked away she could faintly hear Max asking, "Tess... what
are you doing here?"
    "Yeah, isn`t it sort of public when the police are looking for you?"
Isabel asked.
    "I`m not scared of anyone finding me," Tess said. "I`m just scared
of having to explain everything. What am I gonna tell the police?"
    "Anything," Max said. "It doesn`t matter. It`s the least of our
problems that you may have an odd background history to however might
eventually take you in. Me and Isabel sure did."
    It became a little obvious to Tess then: Max didn`t really care how
she got into foster care or whatever, he just wanted her to get it so
that that problem would be over.
    Tess sat there silently. Max and Isabel carried on with a
conversation they were trying to make sound casual, but Isabel wasn`t
even looking at him; she was always staring away at something else.
    "So..." Tess said to Isabel. "What are you planning to do with
yourself now?"
    Leave it to Tess to always find a way to remind us of our destinies,
Max thought darkly. The thought turned into a reason to run to his
sister`s defense. Isabel, who was being torn apart by this horribly.
    "Maybe she doesn`t know," Max said when Isabel just stared down at
the table. "Maybe she doesn`t care. Maybe she`s sick of thinking about
it. Maybe we all want to stop thinking about it for just a few minutes
so we don`t go absolutely crazy."
    Isabel`s reaction was not what either of them expected. She shot up
from her chair. "I`m okay, all right?" she snapped, throwing her chair
back in against the table. She took her coat from the chair and
repeated, "I`m okay," and then she left the Crashdown.
    That had made just a little bit of a scene. Max looked over to where
Liz was leaning against the counter writing out something with her back
to him, but she had heard Isabel`s reaction and had her head turned
around looking their way. Max and Liz`s eyes met once again for that
day, with sympathy in both their eyes.
    "Damn," Max whispered, turning back to Tess. "Is that what you came
here for?" he asked with obvious anger.
    "Do you want me to leave?" Tess asked.
    His glare said it all. She got up and left.
    Max sighed and then noticed a pair of eyes fixed on him. Kyle
Valenti was sitting a few tables away looking at him. They stared at
each other for one uncomfortable moment.
    Did he know? Of course he knew. There was no ketchup story the
sheriff could have gotten his son to believe if he wanted to. How else
would he have explained the way Max had healed a gun wound in Kyle when
he was in the middle of dying?
    Max suddenly felt he had to get out of the cafe too. He threw a five
on the table and got up. Liz watched him as he went out the door. Then
she went to go take a couple more peoples` orders and as she was turning
away from one table she bumped into someone. "Kyle!"
    "Damn hell right," Kyle said. "Listen, I wanna know what the hell is
goin` on with those...those..." Liz watched him, praying he wouldn`t say
that word. "Those...four. I mean, why is everybody screwed up?"
    Liz sighed. "It`s very hard to understand."
    "You broke up, didn`t you?" Kyle asked. "Come on, of course I`ve
noticed you`re avoiding each other. Why? It`s like one day you`re
together and the next nobody`s together anymore and everyone`s acting
like the world`s over."
    Liz kept opening her mouth and shutting it again, not being able to
decide what to say. "It`s... It`s a... very confusing situation. Okay,
see, they`ve just found out some very difficult to gather information
about themselves, and..."
    "What?" Kyle said, trying to talk as quietly as she was. "What have
they found out? Why can`t you tell me?"
    "You wouldn`t understand." Liz started to walk away. He just
followed her and kept talking.
    "Oh, so now there`s all these alien things I wouldn`t understand
now. I see. Do you have any idea how complex my life has been lately?
I`ve been gathering together everything about you people... that night
in that nookie motel, that had something to do with this, didn`t it?
What were you doing? I mean, what do you do when you`re part of their
group? Shine up their UFO, or... or what?"
    Liz spun around and took in a deep breath. "They`ve been trying to
figure out why they`re here, Kyle. That`s all I can explain to you at
the moment. I have to-"
    "You`ve been totally against my dad, haven`t you? You guys have
broken into his office, haven`t you? You guys have been into some
pretty... well, let`s say illegal... stuff."
    Liz smiled. "Yes, Kyle. Us. Miss perfect Liz Parker and little Maria
DeLuca and nerdy Alex Whitman... we`ve all been into some pretty tough
shit. We`ve discovered FBI agents following us, we`ve planted cameras,
we`ve done all the good stuff. And I`ve been totally screwed over some
blonde alien now and all of us are now-"
    "Wait a minute.... what?"
    "That`s the part that`s a little hard to explain, Kyle."
    "Tess? A blonde alien? Or Isabel?"
    "Oh, my God, boy, Tess."
    "Yeah, what`s the deal with her? Nobody seems to like her."
    "I have to get back to work."
    "But wait... just let me say this, okay?"
    Liz sighed and waited for another annoying question. What she got
was the opposite.
    "It`s just that... if Max is being a jerk to you or something..."
    "Oh, no, you have this all wrong. He isn`t..." she looked over at
the table where Max had been sitting to find him gone. "Oh... where`d
they go?"
    "That`s what I mean. Everybody`s all weird. The three of `em stroll
in here and then Isabel has a session of freaking out and then the other
two leave after her."
    "What time is it?" remembering Liz had forgotten her watch today she
seized Kyle`s wrist and looked at the time on his. "I get off in...
fifteen minutes. Good enough."
    "For what?"
    "I have to go," Liz glided across the restaurant into the back room
to change. She was tired of avoiding everybody. And if she wanted to
stay friends with anyone, now was the time to be a friend.
    A few minutes later Liz came out wearing a sweater and jeans and
Maria looked at her and her mouth dropped open.
    "Liz?" Maria asked. "You`re not off yet, are you?"
    "Cover for me," Liz called back. "I have to... um... bye."

    Max went to answer the door. With that, he felt a pang inside him at
seeing that the person standing in the doorway was none other than Liz.
    He knew she had to notice some kind of reaction on his face when he
saw her. She was wearing a loose white sweater with a V-neck that bore
her smooth throat. Black jeans that hugged her legs cozily. Her hair was
smooth and perfect as always. Max would think Liz was beautiful is she
was wearing clothes as old as Abe Lincoln and standing in the rain
covered head to toe in wet cement. On a lovely, sunny day like this with
every feature of her gorgeously perfect, she made his heart melt.
    Liz must have been nervous too. All she said was, "Isabel?"
    "She`s..." Max thought about what she was asking. "I think she`s
okay."
    "Can I see her?" Liz asked. "Well, I mean... that is... would she
want me to see her?"
    Max stood in his doorway thinking about that, and got lost in
looking in her, but finally said something. "Come in."
    She walked in slowly and looked around as he shut the door behind
her. "Are your parents home?"
    "Nah. They wouldn`t have let us go out to the Crashdown after
staying home from school."
    Liz nodded. She started walking away from him into the family room.
Max wanted to follow her. When she walked away it was like she was
pulling away on a string. A string attached on both their hearts.
    He couldn`t torture himself. He turned away and went upstairs.
    Liz turned around and asked, "Is she in the family room?" to find
him no longer there. She shrugged and went on into the room.
    She found Isabel on the sofa with her books out. Without lifting her
head from an algebra assignment Isabel said, "I didn`t even do my
homework yesterday. I guess I should do it before I go back tomorrow....
Did you come for Max?"
    I wish, Liz thought. "I came for you."
    Then Isabel lifted her head. "I`m all right. Really. I`m in no worse
condition than everyone else, that is. I don`t need anyone to look in on
me. I`m okay."
    Liz nodded. "Oh. I just thought, you know, that I should..."
    "Yeah, I know. I`m okay, though."
    Liz came forward and sat down next to Isabel. "...What about Max? Is
he okay?"
    Isabel looked up at her with sympathetic eyes. Liz couldn`t tell if
it was sympathy for her or for Max. Maybe both.
    As if reading her mind Isabel said, "Can`t you see it in my eyes,
Liz? I`m lying to you. None of us are okay. Nothing is okay. Both me and
Max haven`t even heard from Michael or seen him for two days. We don`t
even know where to find him. He won`t answer the phone and he won`t open
his door. And Max? Damnit, he`s doing everything in hell he can to stay
up so he can be there for everyone else. Putting everything on himself
as usual. Making everything his responsibility." The tears welled up in
her eyes as she shook her head. "Everything`s just all messed up. I`m
starting to wonder if things will ever be the same again. If not us
being friends with you and Maria and Alex, then, you know... how it was
before Max saved you. Michael and my brother are all I`ve got anymore,
and even they can`t handle this very well."
    "That`s not true, Isabel," Liz said soothingly. "That`s why I came
over here. I want you to know that I left Max, and god damn me for that,
but... I`m still your friend. I`m still Max and Michael`s friend. And
Alex and Maria are still your friends. We don`t have to avoid each other
like this. It doesn`t have to be this way."
    "I know," Isabel said. "But it feels so horrible. I don`t know how
to face Alex after all this."
    "You don`t have to yet. Just wait."
    The doorbell rang.
    "Let me get that," Liz said as she got up. "Stay here."
    Liz was headed to the door and then Max collided into her coming
down the stairs to get it. Their foreheads were suddenly touching. The
pain inside both of them rang. Max just wanted so badly to just close
the distance, just bring his lips to hers, as he felt her breathe
against his face. But she broke away. She opened the door just as the
bell rang again.
    It was Kyle. "Is Max here? Hope I`m not interrupting anything."
    Liz pointed a thumb over her shoulder at Max coming over. "I was
just leaving." With that she brushed past him out the doorway and made
her way over to her car.
    "You want answers," Max said to Kyle as he shut the door, guiltily
watching Liz until she got into her car.
    "Yeah, I do," Kyle said.
    "Your father hasn`t already given you all of them?"
    "My dad doesn`t know all of them. I mean, this looks like a new
thing, Max. what`s going on with everybody?"
    "You wouldn`t understand."
    "That`s exactly what Liz said."
    "Oh, so now you`re interrogating each of us one by one? It`s not the
best thing for us to deal with right now."
    "I`m sorry. I just though I had a right to know."
    Max pointed at him. "You should know something. This is actually not
any of your business."
    "Oh, I see. So, you save my life and then throw me off to wonder
what the hell is going on. But when you saved Liz, oh, that was
different. You and her actually ended up..."
    "Please, Kyle. Not this conversation."
    "Oh, yes, this conversation. Now, I thought you weren`t exactly the
type for her before. But now... come on, you`re an entirely different
species and-"
    "Did you come in here to talk to me about this? You think I`ve never
thought about this before? I`ll tell you what, Kyle, I have, and I don`t
really give a damn. This isn`t any of your business."
    "It`s just weird to me and all."
    "Fine, Kyle. Here. I`ll tell you this. There are certain people that
have problems with us getting involved with humans. Will you take that?
Is that enough?"
    Kyle sighed. "Not really."
    "I`ll have to be. Because that`s my parents` car pulling up in the
driveway right now and I`m not supposed to have anybody over because I
wasn`t even at school today."
    Kyle sighed and turned away to the door. "I`ll just tell you this,
Max: if you`ve done anything stupid to Liz you`re in from me."
    Max moved forward and pulled Kyle from the door to face him. "Don`t
step in quite yet, okay? This is none of your business and it`s not
going to help Liz if you`re trying to get involved."
    "Wow, you`re modest," Kyle said sarcastically, opening up the door.
"It`s Liz that seems to have gotten over this okay, if anyone has."
    "That`s not fair. I know you`d love to make me look like a jerk to
get her back or something, but it just won`t work, okay? Not right now."

    The kitchen door opened as Mrs.Evans came inside. "Max?" she called.

    Kyle went through the doorway and shut the door behind him.
    "Yeah, mom?" Max called back.
    "Feeling better?"
    "A little."
    "Well, I thought I`d order a pizza because I`ll be busy later
tonight."
    "Yeah. Sure." Max made his way into the family room. Isabel was
curled up on the couch with her books at another end of it looking
tired. Max smiled at her and she smiled back.  Then he walked out and
went back to the stairway. He would just go lounge around in his room
until the pizza got there.
    As he lay back on his bed and listened to some music, he couldn`t
stop the image from popping back in his head again and again. The image
of him and Liz at the bottom of the staircase, their faces so close
together. It was like he never wanted it to ever happen again, because
it had been so painful to be that close to her, but at the same time he
wanted nothing more but to feel Liz there again.
    With that thought he tortured himself. He`d told himself he wouldn`t
think about it anymore, but there was no escaping it. He gave up. He
imagined Liz`s body pressed against his. He thought about what it felt
like to have her in his arms. It was like it had been so long ago, and
he could barely remember what it had been like. No. He couldn`t forget.
He had to remember.
    What would Kyle do now? Would he try to take her back? Did he
actually think the only reason Liz had ever left him before in the first
place was because of Max? Would she go along with it? And if she did,
would it be to help her forget about him? Would it work? Or would it
make it worse for Liz?
    And did Max have to do the same with Tess?

    "So no one`s heard from Michael?" Maria asked.
    "No one," Liz confirmed sadly. "He`ll come out and talk to everyone
soon. He can`t hide forever. Nobody`s going to hide forever."
    Maria nodded. "How was Isabel yesterday?"
    "No better than everyone else, to say the least."
    Maria scoffed. "I`m so tired of going to school and working here in
this blasted cafe- no insult to your dad, babe- when I don`t feel like
facing the world and don`t have the concentration to do either."
    Liz sighed. "At least Michael hasn`t been around to make you feel
lonely. Isn`t it weird that I feel more lonely with Max than without
him?"
    Maria shrugged. "Makes sense for some reason. Ooh, newcomer in my
section. Gotta get back to you."
    "Right." Liz looked to the door as if she knew suddenly to look
there for some reason, and miraculously Max opened it and came in.
    Big surprise, Liz thought. I can still sort of feel his presence
whenever he comes into a room.
    She forced her own feet to move and go over to the table he sat at.
It was worse today. It was just him. No Isabel. No Tess. And it was
after... that... had happened the day before at his house. That. It had
been nothing, and had lasted for only a few seconds, but Liz thought
about it every time she thought about him or her eyes fixed on him or
even every time she saw a letter "M" somewhere. It was insane.
    "Hi," Liz said to him. One thing was better, though. She could think
through everything she said before she said it, instead of babbling out
some crap she didn`t mean to say. She guessed the whole thing about
having to be able to stay everyone`s friends was making her feel better
about being with Max and Isabel, and eventually Michael. "Something to
drink?"
    "Coke," he said.
    Coke. Not cherry coke. Was that a good sign? Or was it a bad sign?
Or did it matter? God, Liz, it`s his drink order. Chill. Okay. Coke.
Good.
    "Coke," Liz repeated, and wrote it down. She smiled at him and
walked away.
    A few minutes later she took his food order. And it went pretty much
the same way. Then she took him his food a few minutes later.
    Liz looked down at the table. Mustard. No ketchup. "Do you want a
bottle of ketchup?" she asked Max more quietly than she`d meant to.
    "Sure," Max said just as quietly. Liz nodded and got a bottle of
ketchup from an empty table that still needed to be bussed, and slowly
walked back over to his table. When she put her arm down to set the
bottle on the tabletop, Max unexpectedly held her hand down under his on
the table.
    ( Perfect by the Smashing Pumpkins )
    Their gazes locked together for a long time, Liz`s surprised, Max`s
sad.
    "I need you back," Max said quietly. They would have been making a
scene if the restaurant wasn`t basically empty at the moment. They
weren`t being very loud, so the few people inside weren`t really
noticing.
    Liz stared for a little longer and started slowly shaking her head.
"We can`t."
    "But Liz..."
    "No," Liz said firmly, half telling it to herself. "It can`t be. How
can I do that after what I saw in that cave?"
    "Come on. You know this has to be. I can`t take it anymore, Liz."
    "You have to be strong. We all do. Max, we never cared about it
before, but... you`re different than me. No matter how much we want to
we can`t break that difference between us. It can`t work as long as
we`re.. not the same."
    "That`s not true. You know it doesn`t matter. You know you`re just
like me. In all ways that matter. Come on, Liz, you already know that we
have to be together, you just want to deny it."
    Liz fought back the tears threatening to come. "It won`t be the
same, Max."
    "Yes it will," Max insisted. "It`ll be perfect."
    Liz swallowed heavily. Then she pulled her hand out from underneath
Max`s.
    And just walked away.

    It was 6:13 PM. Max groaned in frustration. He couldn`t think.
    Isabel was having another session of lying in her bed with nothing
else to do with herself. She`d been on the couch again earlier trying to
figure out her homework from today and make-up work from the day before,
and he had no reason to believe for sure that she had actually finished
all of it before going upstairs. Probably not. But stressing over math
equations wasn`t what Izzy needed right now.
    No one else was home. Max`s parents gone again. No one else there
who had decided to knock on the door and come in.
    Thank god.
    Max needed to drive out somewhere. Go outdoors. But he didn`t want
to go where there would be people running around.
    There was one place. It wouldn`t make him feel any better. but he`d
begun to believe that not really anything could.
    Max got up and went out into the garage. Isabel heard his jeep drive
away from upstairs just as she started to doze off.
    The house was very quiet for a long time. Then a while later Isabel
felt someone toy with a strand of hair that was over her forehead. Her
eyes fluttered open.
    "Alex?" she whispered.
    "Hey," Alex said, laying next to her in bed. "You doing okay?"
    "Not really," Isabel said with a small smile. "What time is it?"
    "6:37," he answered, looking behind her at her clock.
    "My parents let you in?"
    "Your dad. Yeah."
    Isabel let out a heavy sigh. "I`ve felt like absolute crap lately,
you know."
    "I know," Alex said with an encouraging smile.
    Then Isabel smiled too. "I missed you."
    "I missed you, too."
    Isabel cuddled in and curled up more against him. He held her close
to him and rubbed her back. Isabel had missed his support. It felt good
to have him with her. Even if neither of them wanted to admit what they
were each wondering. What would become of them.
    That would come. In time. But for now she just wanted to lay here
with him and relax. She`d had too much on her in the past few days. She
just didn`t want to talk about really anything at all. She was too
tired.
    Then her phone rang. Isabel groaned and reached for it from her
night stand. She answered it and heard Liz`s voice say, "Isabel?"
    "Yeah, it`s Isabel."
    "Is Max there?"
    "Um... no, I don`t think so. He left."
    "Do you know where he is?"
    "I don`t have an exact idea, but I know he probably needs to think
and I know where he would go if he had to think."
    "The cave."
    "Yep."
    "Do you think there`s any chance I could catch him at your house
before your parents get home?"
    "Too late."
    "Oh. Okay. Thanks, Isabel."
    "Yeah. Bye, Liz."
    Isabel smashed the phone back down lazily and laid back down.

    It was chilly in the cave. Max stared over at the old pods where
Isabel, Tess, and Michael, and Max had come out of nine years ago.
    "Hi, Max."
    Max turned around and saw Tess coming in. "You followed me here?"
    Tess nodded. "I wanted to talk to you about Liz."
    "Liz," Max repeated with a sigh.
    "I know it`s been hard for you lately," Tess said, moving closer to
him, "you know, to sort of register everything that`s going on and put
up with it. I`m sorry I haven`t really been the best support... that is,
I haven`t been the best person to have around in the situation."
    "Don`t think of it," Max said in a tone that didn`t really convince
Tess he fully meant it.
    "I just want you to know it`s not like I don`t care about anything
except... you know... our destinies. It matters to me who`s hurt and
who`s not and..."
    "Tess," Max said suddenly, "don`t even try. Okay? Nothing`s going to
work."
    "Nothing`s going to work to do what?"
    "To make me feel better. To make me be with you. To make me forget
about Liz. You name it. It won`t happen."
    "The reason she left me was so we could be together, don`t waste it
all, Max. If you do then you`re being apart for no reason. Don`t you see
that?"
    "Of course I do. It basically haunts me. Tess, when I kissed you, I
felt like something I hated was growing inside me. I couldn`t stand it.
I don`t know what to do to make you see I can`t do this. It`s just...
impossible. I mean, I don`t even know you!"
    "Yes, you do, Max. We`ve known each other before. We`ve been
together before."
    Max sighed heavily. "How do you know we weren`t a horrible couple in
pre-life?"
    "Because your mother sent me here with you."
    "That doesn`t mean anything!"
    "You know that`s not true."
    "Tess, this isn`t the way things work, okay? I mean, why do we have
to keep holding onto the past? Why can`t we start off fresh?"
    Tess pulled him close to her by holding onto his shoulders. She said
quietly, "You need to see something here, Max. She`s human."
    Max pulled away quickly. "I don`t care."
    "You can keep denying that it isn`t right or you can do the one
logical thing and stop living a life pretending to be something you`re
not."
    "Well, how come it feels right, Tess? How come for me and Liz it
feels so right? What kind of a judge are you of that? And what else
matters as long as we think it`s fine that way?"
    Tess sighed and turned away. She looked over at the four pods at the
end of the cave and shook her head. "I just don`t understand."
    "Get someone who really loves you," Max advised. "Then you`ll
understand."
    She shook her head again and then left the cave. Max dropped to the
cold floor and wrapped his arms around his legs.

    Maria came out of the back room of the Crashdown changed out of her
uniform into iredescent jeans and a tank top with hibiscus flowers on
it. She waved goodbye to another worker on her way out and went out
through the door. When she got to her car she gasped at seeing Michael
standing there.
    "Michael," she sighed in relief and practically leaned over into him
and he put his arms around her. "Where have you been?"
    "Around," he answered simply.
    "I`ve needed to see you."
    "Me too."
    "It`s been pretty bad for everyone."
    "I can see why."
    "But you`re here now. You need to talk to everyone."
    "I know."
    "We just need to put everything back together."

    Max sat on the edge of his jeep for a long time, messing with the
head ornament. He looked up at the sky from time to time. No matter how
long he waited he just didn`t seem ready to go back home. Even though
his parents wouldn`t know where he was.
    Max then spotted a trail of dust from far off in the distance. It
was a car coming his way. As it came closer he saw what car it was.
    No. It couldn`t be Liz.
    ( Take My Hand by Dido )
    But then the car stopped about twenty feet away from where Max was,
and Liz slowly got out of the front seat and stood there and looked over
at him from far away as he slid down from the car. They both started to
walk, but gradually both of their walks turned into running across the
desert towards each other, both of them unable to restrain themselves as
they ran closer together as fast as they could go.
    When they came together Liz threw herself into Max, and he held her
as tight as he could and swung her around. Liz mouth curved into a
grimace as she started to cry over into his shoulder. Max ran his
fingers through her hair and closed his eyes, just wanting to take in
this moment, take her all in. Then they held each other`s heads and came
together in a kiss. They didn`t even have to say anything; their actions
said it all. They didn`t care anymore. They needed each other. That was
all that mattered.
    "I`m so sorry," Liz said to him. "I`m so sorry I left you that day-"

    "No, it doesn`t matter," Max said. "We`re together now."
    She put her head back over his shoulder again. "You were right. I
should have listened to you earlier. What about Tess now?"
    "Forget her," Max said. "She`s not enough to take you away from me."

    "What about... your mother?"
    "I`d like to think this is what she would have wanted, Liz. If not I
don`t really care. It doesn`t matter who I was with before. That was
before. This is now. I love you now. And I don`t care what you are."
    She held him even tighter. "Me neither. I love you too."
    And with that they knew they`d never be apart again.
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