First Impressions
Host: "Ooo. Send in the Clowns and Tears of a Clown -- both in one night. What a treat."

Angel: "Yeah, well, uh, I was sort of going for a medley, uh, thing."

Host: "Yeah, yeah. More of a duo-dley, though, wasn't it?"

Host: "You've been practicing haven't you?"

Angel: "A little."

Host: "Probably not in front of the mirror."

Angel: "I still can't believe you're here. I mean, I killed you."

Cordelia: "This isn't mere dust. This is Son of Dust. This is the kind of dust that spawns countless generations of little baby dust."

Cordelia: "I give up."

Wesley: "Very well. We'll just move our offices back to your living room."

Cordelia: "And I'm dusting?"

Gunn: "Where's Angel?"

Cordelia: "I believe the word is, 'hello'."

Gunn: "Yeah? Cuz I thought, 'where's Angel' summed it up."

Cordelia: "He's still sleeping."

Gunn: "Sleepin'? It's 3:30 in the afternoon. I been up since dawn."

Cordelia: "(to Wesley) Sort of missing the whole Creature of the Night angle, isn't he?"

Gunn: "Could one of you go in there and knock on his coffin?"

Cordelia: "He doesn't use a coffin. And maybe you've never heard the expression 'Let sleeping vampires lie'?"

Cordelia: "Maybe we can help."

Gunn: "You two? I find Deevak, I'm gonna need more than C3PO and Stick Figure Barbie backin' me up, no offense."

Wesley: "Very little taken."

David Nabbit: "Demons of the underworld beware. Your time on this earth is drawing nigh!"

David Nabbit: "Got here as quick as I could."

Cordelia: "We paged you two days ago."

David Nabbit: "Identify yourself, traveler. Are you also a fellow demon killer?"

Gunn: "Who is this guy?"

David Nabbit: "Where's Angel?"

Cordelia: "Actually, he's still kind of sleepy."

David Nabbit: "At 3:30? I've been up since dawn."

David Nabbit: "I stand ready to fight the good fight, sir. Whaddya need?"

Angel: "Financial advice."

David Nabbit: "Oh, that's easy. You could look into seller financing, take over the owner's payments, and skip the bank completely; or you could make a play for a preservation grant and offer to restore the original decor and get the city and the feds to give you a tax break and a loan at a sweetheart rate; or you could apply for an FHA and get a PMI in lieu of a down payment."

Cordelia: "Is anybody else getting warm? Do that tax breaks, FHA, and PMI part again."

Angel: "Cordy? You're driving."

Cordelia: "Me? Drive your car? So cool!"

Wesley: "Shotgun!"

Gunn: "We're too late. He split."

Cordelia: "Maybe he heard what a pleasant person you were to be around."

Angel: "I can't lift my arm all the way."

Gunn: "This vamp did a number on my ribs."

Wesley: "'Fraid I threw my back out again."

Cordelia: "Grease stains! All over my new outfit. Okay, so maybe my pain isn't physical, but do you have any idea the dry cleaning bill I'm looking at?"

Cordelia: "When you do find him, you may want to be a little more Guy Pierce in L.A. Confidential, and a little less Michael Madsen in Reservoir Dogs."

Gunn: "I haven't bothered to see a movie since Denzel was robbed of the Oscar for Malcolm X. Later."

Wesley: "That was quite a performance."

Cordelia: "I know! Talk about wound up too tight."

Wesley: "No. I - I mean Denzel."

Cordelia: "Oh. Well, he's always great."

Wesley: "(to Angel) What about you?"

Angel: "Who doesn't love Denzel?"

Cordelia: "Okay. I'm gonna die."

Angel: "What are you doing here?"

Wesley: "Gunn's in trouble. Can't. Breathe."

Angel: "Gunn can't breathe?"

Wesley: "I...can't...breathe."

Angel: "Oh. Sorry."

Wesley: "Uh. Oh, its quite all right. Now, about the naked thing."

Angel: "I'll get dressed."

Wesley: "Much appreciated."

Cordelia: "There you go. Good as new."

Joey: "I think you cracked my skull."

Cordelia: "Well, that's new, right?"

Cordelia: "I was just trying to help you."

Gunn: "Thanks for the help. Always enhances a guy's rep when some skinny white beauty queen comes to his rescue -- in front of his crew!"

Cordelia: "Whether you want to believe it or not, you are in big time danger. I'm Vision Girl. I saw you."

Gunn: "Thanks for coming, buckle up, drive safe. (beat) Where's your car?"

Cordelia: "Do you know what he's going to do to me when he finds out I let his car get stolen? I mean, what are the chances that a vampire has full insurance with a low deductible?"

Cordelia: "You're just gonna ask them to give it back?"

Gunn: "I'll say please."

Cordelia: "Oh! I forgot! You'll use your famous charm, like you did this afternoon with that pigeon stool."

Gunn: "You don't have a clue why I do things I do."

Cordelia: "Paging Mr. Rationalization!"

Gunn: "Paging Miss About to Be Thrown Out of a Moving Vehicle!"

Cordelia: "You need protection."

Gunn: "And how exactly do you plan on protecting me -- with some weak-ass, lady smith battle axe?"

Cordelia: "Ask Joey and his cracked skull just how weak-ass it is."

Gunn: "Mace?"

Cordelia: "To squirt, squirt -- right in the eyes."

Gunn: "You expecting me to be jumped by a couple of purse-snatching demons?"

Cordelia: "I'm your protector whether you like it or not."

Gunn: "This thing better attack me soon, cuz I know I can't take much more of this."

Wesley: "What's the problem?"

Angel: "It's just, you know, the whole visibility issue not to mention the whole hat head thing, and I mean, when you really think about it how come I have to wear the lady's helmet?"

Wesley: "Stop being such a wanker and put it on."

Wesley: "Looks good. Hop on board gorgeous."

Angel: "You'll pay for this."

Gunn: "New acquisitions are in the garage."

Cordelia: "Getting the full make over, I bet."

Cordelia: "Geez. Short enough leash? Or do you just go all warm and tingly on the whole power trip thing?"

Gunn: "Now, we when get inside. Just shut up and stay close to me."

Cordelia: "Hold on there, Generalissimo. I'm not one of your toy soldiers you can just boss around."

Gunn: "I don't even want you here."

Cordelia: "Too bad. I am here. And I don't take orders. (pause)Except from Angel. And at least he usually asks nicely. And besides, I don't need you how to tell me how to behave at a party. Trust me. I know how to blend. ( looks around the rrom) "

Cordelia: "Okay, not exactly blending. Maybe I'll just shut up and stay close to you."

Veronica: "Who's your friend?"

Cordelia: "Who me? I'm no friend. I mean, I'm just here on business. I'm a working girl. That came out wrong. I mean, obviously, I'm not 'working girl'. Not that I couldn't be if I wanted to. Of course, I could. God, that sounded stuck up, didn't it? I didn't mean to imply that I could be a working girl and you couldn't. Far from it! You'd make a great...Could you just point me to the hors d'oeuvres?"

Cordelia: "Are you friends with, like, every criminal in town?"

Gunn: "Now, see, there you go assuming those brothers are criminals."

Cordelia: "Aren't they?"

Gunn: "You mean like your friend David Nabbit? You think he became a billionaire by being a good citizen?"

Cordelia: "Actually, he did. He made his first millions developing software that lets blind people surf the Web. Plus, he set up a foundation that donates $20 million a year to countless charitable causes."

Gunn: "Yeah, well you let me know when some of that corn trickles down to these parts."

Cordelia: "Take it easy."

Gunn: "I can't take it easy. I can never take it easy. Not for a second, all right? The minute I forget that, somebody like Alonna pays the price."

Cordelia: "Alonna?"

Gunn: "(pause) Veronica. I can't stop. I can't ever stop."

Gunn: "You drive it out of here; I'll follow you home."

Cordelia: "Just as soon as I find the keys."

Gunn: "You know, I gotta tell you. You are one high-maintenance chick."

Cordelia: "The keys are here. Somewhere."

Gunn: "You are killin' me."

Cordelia: "Can't you, you know, hot wire it?"

Gunn: "Just cuz I know some car thieves doesn't mean I am one."

Cordelia: "Hey, instead of being High Moral Ground Guy, why don't you help me find them?"

Deevak: "How touching. A woman willing to die with her man."

Cordelia: "Oh, no. He's not my man. He's just a friend. And...about the willing to die part?"

Gunn: "You must be Deevak. They told me you was ugly, but damn."

Deevak: "Surival of the fittest, bro. And right now, you're not looking too fit."

Wesley: "Angel, look. I found your keys. Unfortunately, this substance doesn't appear to be coming off."

Angel: "What is that?"

Wesley: "Demon blood. Or demon pus. Or possibly both."

Gunn: "Well, you finally saved my life. I guess I should say thanks."

Cordelia: "Yes, you should."

Darla: "Always the protector, never the protected."

Angel: "I have so many things to make up for."

Darla: "And you have. You take care of so many people. But who takes care of you?"

Angel: "You do."

Darla: "I could just eat...you...up."