My wake up call. andy111_85745
(48/M) 7/12/01 10:23 am
I was initiated in the early 70's but I never questioned Charan Singh.I
wasn't much of a satsangi however in that I often transgressed the vows.
This however resulted in lots of guilt. In retrospect I am glad I followed
the path loosely as that enabled me to withdraw more easily. My first doubt
started as soon as Gurinder made his presence known. He went to San Francisco
I recall and I remember there were security guards with automatic weapons
stationed on the roof of the building. The use of huge video screens also
was very revealing. One could see his humanness up close thanks to the
screens. He seemed to flirt with the crowd in his attempts to create a
bond. My first reaction to him was repulsion and then he started acquiring
property. This prompted me to write 2 letters to Gurinder and his replies
were posted in the photo section of this club. I had inquired as to the
purpose of the property purchases and also about the aircraft he had accepted
as a gift. His responses were feeble and dishonest. He actually denied
the existence of the aircraft which was ludicrous. Gradually more and more
occurrences came out about how satsangis would travel to Petaluma only
to be disappointed at his not showing up. To me the most amazing thing
is how impervious the sant mat shield becomes in preventing satsangis from
even considering the path might be flawed. The real show stopper occurred
a few months ago when the son of what were my closest satsangi friends
jumped off a bridge killing himself 2 weeks after returning from the Dera.
The boy was 23 years old and a schizophrenic. As a result the parents are
now only closer to Gurinder and do not even consider the path to be connected
in any way to his death. Its quite amazing how the blind are not allowed
to be initiated yet the mentally ill are accepted. The boy who jumped to
his death was actually copying what another satsangi had done a few years
previously from the same bridge. The parents now know of 4 satsangis in
their small group to have killed themselves. If that isn't enough to wake
someone up I don't know what is. This just shows how innately evil this
path truly is. People consider this scum bag to be god and he in truth
is worse than a common criminal. Andy
Welcome Fillmore. Thank goodness you have
found your way back home to your own soul!!!! LOL!!
I have been reading lot of posts on the Yahoo clubs
for several years now and I can tell you it
has been a lifesaver for me. It is so great to
learn things you would never know about, without
this and other truthful clubs.
Andy, my heart is broken when I think about that
poor RS family still trapped in the syndrome of the
God man. This has reminded me of some earlier
postings here that I liked so much I copied them.
I will repost them since they relate so well to the
present thread.
Love to all,'
vk2
----
(the following is reposed from earlier posts to
the Ex-Sat club - I don't have the numbers)
I have an erie feeling that dear friend,
Ponji, my Satsangi friend from London,
who committed suicide, is here with me.
It feels like the room is crowded, full of
thousands of souls, and they are looking
to me, saying to me, "Please speak about
our truth. Please let the world know
about the cruel torments and sufferings
we endured as Satsangis, the "half realized
lives we led, the lack of love we received
from those around us in the Sangat.
"We were not some inferior refuse of human
beings that we were made to appear to be,
karma-laden defective souls, unable to reach
up the high level of truth of Sant Mat.
Satsangis without vibrant inner experience.
No, we were real, whole people; we were
complete human beings, in every syllable,
every nuance of the term, "human".
Our lives were equal in all ways to other
persons born on this planet, persons who
acted the roles of "Masters" and "gurumuks".
Though absent of any fruitful inner experiences
we were as complete and has as much right
to exist and find our own way to happiness
as any faqir or so-called "higher soul."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"We suffered greatly, we anguished, and
strove with all our might to find a decent,
good solution for our trapped lives, but we
were unable to do so. Family members,
friends and those around us had not the
ability, the compassionate imagination to be
able to SEE us, or to help us.
"We did not receive the medical help, in some
cases, that we needed.
"We were assured over and over, that Sant Mat
Gurus were 'liberated souls', beings having "eyes
which could see and ears that could hear".
"At first we felt, 'We have hope at last'. Now, we shall
be seen by someone having eyes. We shall be
perceived by a liberated being in the
fullness and wholeness of who we are (which
is a good) and we shall then be helped by this
kindest of souls who has come to this world soley
on a mission of mercy.
"This god-man, uniquely, will be able
to help us since he has the clarity of vision
to be able to see us in our totality.
"And our Master acted as a Master, when we met him.
He behaved as a special god-person on earth who had
come for his sheep. Our hopes soared. 'All we
need to do is follow His instructions and He
will get us out of all trouble', we thought.
"And he gave us our instructions which we eagerly
followed, but our problems did not go away.
"When we asked our Sat Guru for help he
acted like a good and confident doctor by writing
out a prescription for us. We took His pills but
this still did not cure our problems. The doctor
then let us know that the problem was not with
'The Path', not with the Shabd, not with the Master.
He let us know the Path and the Master were timeless.
The Master had responded to us, had done His part.
If we were not cured, there could be but one reason:
Our karmas were too severe and it was our 'fault' somehow".
Radhasoami Suicides - 2 vichar2000
(F/New York, NY) 7/12/01 2:02 pm
* * * * * A man is in agony with an
* * * * * infestation of worms in his stomach
* * * * * and goes to a doctor, who prescribes
* * * * * medicine which has no effect on the
* * * * * worms. The man then returns and
* * * * * receives other medicine which makes
* * * * * him weak. After many visits the
* * * * * doctor says, I have given you the all of
* * * * * the best medicines and you are still
* * * * * sick. All I can say is keep on taking
* * * * * these medicines according to the
* * * * * instructions.
* * * * * Thereafter, whenever the man
* * * * * contacted his doctor he received the
* * * * * same advice. Feeling that his situation
* * * * * was hopeless and unable to bear the pain
* * * * * any longer, the man ended his life.
* * * * * Had the doctor been a genuine doctor, he would
* * * * * have said, 'I have done the best I know how, but you
* * * * * are still in pain. You had better look for another doctor
* * * * * who may be able to help you.'
"If the Sant Mat masters had been honest,
they would have said, with a huge warm, loving
smile on their face, to the Satsangi, "Before we go any
further, there is something you must clearly understand.
I am not a "Perfect Living Master". I have agreed
to function and fulfill the role as the "Master" in
the Radha Soami tradition, but, like you, there are
many things that I do not know. I will help you
to the best of my ability to follow these Radha
Soami teachings, but the truth is that we have both
embarked on a marvelous journey together,
and it may be you who can be a great help to me!"
"But the reality was, that like a dishonest Doctor,
the dishonest Gurus' lies became to causative bedrock
responsible for a vast amount of suffering and
led to many wholly unnecessary suicides and
family tragedies which occurred after all hope
had disappeared from a disciple minds.
"Those robust souls capable of surviving in whatever
world or dweep they are dropped or whatever clime
must watch that they do not become like those
born into wealth who cannot fathom true compassion
for the multitude who suffer in poverty.
"A Radhasoami disciple's despair would become "absolute"
since their own "God-Man", whom they accepted, allowed them
to believe that "He was god" and if they were having
problems of any kind, including depression, the only
solution was "Bhajan, bhajan and more bhajan".
These Satsangi souls are like the souls of the Jews of
Dachau, crying out to be remembered, saying 'What has
been done in secret must be opened up to the light
of day.'
* * * * * A man with a high level of testosterone
* * * * * in his blood is told that sex "once a month" is OK if
* * * * * it is with his wife, and if he does something other than
* * * * * this he is offending Anami Purush. Then his Guru tells
* * * * * him "Well Brother all I can advise you is, 'Bhajan,
* * * * * bhajan and more bhajan". -- This is a sure recipe for
* * * * * intense self-blame, despair and clinical depression.
* * * * * And 'brothers' with less testosterone feel spiritually
* * * * * smug and superior.
These souls are saying that they have been run
over by a * * freight train * * * of 'Sant Mat' propaganda,
and their untimely deaths and lives of anguish have been glossed
and trivialized by 'Sant Mat' apologists. They say lying
about being a God-man is an offense as devastating as
sexual child abuse.
Distraught Satsangi mothers have murdered their
infant children in Philadelphia, abandoned
their husbands and children in South Africa to live
amongst the scrub bushes of Punjab. Intelligent,
gifted young men in droves have abandoned their
professional careers have led refugee-like
Radhasoami Suicides - 3 vichar2000
(F/New York, NY) 7/12/01 2:03 pm
A Satsangi driving instructor in
Cambridge England died prematurely
from neglect of his diabetes, explaining, "It's not
the Master outside, its the Master inside. He is the
all-powerful one and the Spirit. This body is just a
temporary place of residence. I don't worry a lot
about the insulin. And what do these Doctors know?
If Maharaj Ji wants to he can make me
completely healthy, or he can take me inside".
The soul of the dead driving instructor now tells me
what a pity it was that he died so early and did not
take care of his body because he now sees that
human life is precious and there was much he could
have done with his life, had he not believed in the literal
truth of the utterances of an Indian Guru. His young son
and other family members were all badly
damaged by the death-suicide of their father and uncle.
And another shade is telling me,
"I was in the Dera for
my first interview with Maharaj Ji. I was so
nervous. I was about to meet God. At last I would
no longer be alone. At last I had found a way
leading back home.
"The Master sort of held his
head down as I entered the room and looked to the
side and did not look into my eyes as I spoke to
him. I told him how deeply grateful to him I was
for accepting me a Disciple and how I most
earnestly wanted to become a good Satsangi.
I then tried to describe for him my particular problem with
"thoughts" that sort of break into my conscious
mind when I am doing something else and then
seem to have a life of their own. These thoughts are
independent and I can't control them. My problem
is that when I am trying to do my Simran they
break in at this time also and then it is very difficult to
keep doing the simran with all this going on.
"Maharaj Ji suddenly cut me off. He
had an intense look in his face, friendly but very
authoritative. He told me that the mind has many
tricks it plays on the disciple. The disciple has to be
firm with the mind. I should just keep doing
my simran and ignore everything else. 'You just
do your job and leave everything else in the hands
of the Master', he told me. 'He' will take care of it.'
"I was jarred by the way He had interrupted me, but
in the end I was joyous, since the Master had given
me the special grace of saying directly that He
would take care of my problem, assuring me
that I did not have a 'special' problem and letting me
know that I was accepted by him as His disciple.
(Cont'd)
Radhasoami Suicides - 4 vichar2000
(F/New York, NY) 7/12/01 2:06 pm
"The fact is, as I now know, that I was suffering from
a genetic-based dysmentia, which arises from a single
nucleotide base deletion mutation which has the effect
of modifying the ligand binding constant of a
colinergic receptor in my brain.
"This lesion leads to the episodic breakdown in single
synaptic pathway firing in the brain and gives me a
subjective experience of autonomous "thoughts" and
pictures breaking into my normal stream of thinking.
I experienced the same disruption of my Simran.
Medically speaking, this is something like
a tiny brain seizure or a mild form of mental epilepsy.
This condition was not diagnosed when I grew up and
it caused me lots of problems in my life
and in my school work, even though I was quite
intelligent in other ways.
"Had I believed I had found a 'Master' I would have
continued to search for a cure for my sever problems
and finally would have gone to a first-rate Harley Street
neurologist, expensive though they are, who would have
correctly diagnosed my problem and then prescribed
daily doses of Dilantin, which would have greatly eased,
though not eliminated my problem. Had Maharaji been
medically trained he would listened carefully to what I
was telling him and then would have suggested a
comprehensive EEG study.
"The truth was that since Maharaj Ji had allowed me to
believe He was God, and then He told me that my
problem was only one of the Mind, which could be
overcome by meditation alone, I gave up seeking
medical treatment.
"Since I believed Maharaji to be God on earth I felt
I had no other place to turn to for help. When my
problem persisted and even seemed to grow worse
and when I could not see any progress or improvement
in my condition (and after many desperate letters to the
Master and his replies which always said that I should
only attend to my meditation), finally I could take it no
more and I ended my life.
"What other option did I have?
God himself told me the remedy and His remedy did not
work. I now greatly regret the tragedy of my life, which
involved so much unnecessary suffering for the want of
eight cents worth of medicine a day. And the suffering
caused to my Mother and family members from my suicide
at 28 years of age, and the loss of perhaps what could have
been a long and rich life that I could have led, had I not
been so 'fortunate' as to have become involved in Sant Mat,
and to believe the lie I was told 'eyeball to eyeball',
by the Guru, that he was 'God in human form'.
---------------------
As Andy says, "This just shows how innately evil this path truly is.
People consider this scum bag to be god
and he in truth is worse than a common criminal."
RSSB is akin to a family criminal enterprise
like father to son to nephew - A Sicilian type of business
Wow!!! It is all too much to believe!!
v2k