I think all people on this planet are born with something inside of
them that
they don't realize they possess until they're much older. Some
people don't
realize what they have until they lose it while some people don't
even realize
that they carry something within themselves all their lifes but
never use it.
Even though you might not understand what I am trying to say, to me
it makes
sense. Around September 1999 when my life was a complete mess, we
had just moved
back to Sweden a year ago after living abroad for 4 years due to my
dad's work.
Well, there was a girl that arose that I saw in my own eyes that she
had the
power to change the instance, the moment, a girl that had the power
to take you
out of your current world and just take you someplace where you
would know that
as long as the music was on, you would be safe, you would be okay.
During my whole time as a Britney fan, knowing other Britney fans,
I've learnt
one thing, and that is that everyone that is a die hard Britney fan
got help
from Britney in order to escape a certain issue they once had in
their life,
this was done through her music, sweet personality, style, innocence
and the
responsability of being a role model for so many young girls out
there, who up
until the day they found Britney, they felt in a way lost, they took
confort in
knowing that a girl from Louisiana one day had a dream, and went out
to
accomplish it, they saw the fire in her, they saw what she had
accomplished,
Britney Spears, the reason why she's so huge is probably not so much
because of
her music, but because she's unique in a way no other music artist
has ever
shown herself to be, it comes as a package. Britney is....a mirror
image of an
all hard working american family with a kid who one day was set to
have her face
in every single Pepsi bottle around the planet. Sometimes we forget,
we don't
realize, that we're all the same...we let ourselves get dragged into
a world
that only exists in our minds, a world that gets portrayed so fake
to millions
of people, a world that is brainwashed into our minds, making us
believe things
that aren't really there.
Baby One More Time, the album, hehe, I used to have it on my
Minidisc, I would
listen to it every morning on the bus before arriving to school, I
would get to
class and my friends would know what I would be listening to, being
a Britney
fan comes with a lot of rejection from certain groups of people, but
being a
strong person since the start, I would only bring these types of
people back
down to earth in case they even dared to question why the hell I was
listening
to Britney Spears. I've always been a person that will give out my
all, and
yeah, I do mean my all for something, and expect very little in
return, if
anything at all. But if someone out there gives their something to
me, I will
give it back to them 10 fold, no matter if it's good, or if it's bad.
After getting to know what we today would call the old Britney,
after watching
endless interviews, performances and tv-shows where she still was
the old
Britney, and you all know what I mean, I knew I was completely
hooked on this
girl, I was never in love with her, and no, I never fantasized about
having
Britney Spears as my girlfriend, I never said to anyone that the
reason for me
liking her was because she was hot, had a hot body and could shake
that booty
like nobody else ;). I ignored that pretty much, because what I was
seeing in
this girl, was something beyond that, it was the glimpse in her eye,
the
constant strive and dedication to one day make a name for herself,
become a
legend, become an icon. The hard work, the sacrifices, the things
that many
people aren't even aware of, that an artist has to go through to one
day be able
to attend the Grammys, sit in the front row, and wear an amazing
dress that a
fashion designer begged you to wear to the event, hey, you would
even get to
keep it. It's a long road....it's a road that some people take for
granted, and
it's a road that many people never get to see the end of it.
On March 17th, 2000, I decided that I was going to go and see
Britney Spears
perform live in the United States. It's what I most wanted, and hey,
when I want
something, as long as it's humanly possible to do, I will do
anything to
accomplish it, I think that's what living is all about, testing
yourself to the
boundaries, doing things you would never imagine you would one day
do, and all
by yourself. I sold my old computer, my minidisc where I used to
have all my
Britney music on, what else, the cell phone, and I worked 5 hours a
day after
school, to save money, yeah, to have enough....to go and feel closer
to someone
that I really looked up to, someone that had inspired me and taught
me that
nothing is impossible, if you want to achieve it and as long as the
dream is
there, you can achieve it. I was 17, I told my mother I had decided
to pack my
bags and fly across the ocean to see this girl Britney Spears
perform live in
Florida. At first my mom had her good laugh, but as I looked at her
with all
seriousness straight in her eyes, she told me "are you being
serious?", I said
yes mom. 1 month later I was in a plane headed for New York City,
which would
later take me to Washington D.C and finally Tampa in Florida, where
the big
event was going to take place. I took my video camera throughout my
whole trip,
documenting my journey, filming people I met, being my own reporter,
doing the
crazy things and living the dreams that were one day inside of a 17
year old
kid, who one day wanted to matter, wanted to make a change, and was
slowly
getting to know himself and what he wanted. March 31st, 2000 was
here...and
after having flown back and forth between Tampa and Los Angeles in
what the
Americans call the "Bus of the skies" or Southwest, and staying in
an youth
hostel in Hollywood to be able to go to the Oscars, and stand 30
feet from the
stars across Jefferson street by the Shrine Auditorium and just see
all the
things that I wanted to see as a kid when I was only 7, watching the
event from
home, was just a huge deal for me...how had a 17 year old kid ended
up there, I
don't know. The concert was great, I had a great time, she was so
much more
beautiful in person than what I had seen in pictures, you just can't
compare
something in 2D with something in 3D, cause in 3D they come to life,
the
experience is just different.
When I got back from my trip and summer was approaching, I decided
to do
something that summer, I decided from the start, and I mean, from
the start,
that I was going to begin the construction and development of what
was one day
going to be the biggest Britney Spears site in the world, it was
going to be the
Studio 54 for all Britney fans to visit and stay on for as long as
they wanted.
I aimed big right from the start, so there I was, with no experience
whatsoever
in building a major site, but hey, the dream was there....now it was
time for
action, for accomplishment and just, have a lot of patience. I
worked during 2
months sleeping only 4-5 hours per day, I remember there was a
period when my
neck hurt so bad, I had to lay down and just rest...but the strive
was there,
the dream was on the line...to design and put something on the table
that was to
become the perfect vision of how a Britney Spears community should be
like....not for Britney, but for other fans like myself, to become a
family, to
get together as a whole, and just enjoy and cherish everything about
Britney
Spears. Things went slow, the site was evolving, but I never gave
up....I went
through problems with the host at first, they went bankrupt, 5 weeks
later (Jan
2001) the site was back up, and I was ready for what was to come.
Working on the
site everyday for the past 18 months had become a part of my life
and on the
way, I met various amount of people, some good ones, some bad ones,
some people
wanted to use me, some people wanted to help me, some people wanted
to backstab
me, some people wanted to hate me, some people wanted to get rid of
the site,
some people wanted to be part of it.
This site brought me joy, this site proved to me that I too, just
like Britney,
could reach the top all by myself, with my bare hands and the power
of my mind
to actually matter and inspire thousands and thousands of people.
World of
Britney.com created thousands of Britney fans, it brought fans
closer to
Britney, it kept fans hooked, it became the only un-official Britney
website to
be recognized by the international media. But I realize that there
comes a point
in life when you don't realize certain things, the things you had to
leave
behind for others, the things you sacrificed for a certain girl,
that in the
end, never showed any care or compassion, a girl that in the end,
you were
probably never get to meet, and that, was a reality that I knew was
there, that
is why I never made this site for "the support of Britney Spears"
because
Britney Spears has so much support already, I made this site for
fans like you
to come in and feel warm and happy inside, we were all sharing the
same passion.
Things have changed... (please don't continue reading unless you're
ready to
hear what I gotta say) Britney Spears is not the same person she
used to be, at
least that is the way I see it, perhaps many of you agree, she's
just not the
same girl that I once upon the time looked up to, the one that would
be sweet,
tender and would really care about her fans and show it openly. I do
not agree
with the way she has continued to deny certain things that she
cannot deny
anymore in regards to her relatioship with Justin, one thing I
appreciate in
people is their honesty, I am also tired of how the record label has
manufactured her and positioned her as a product instead of as a
human being and
when they do, it comes out completely fake. I am tired of going to
BritneySpears.com and reading how Lynne Spears tries to market her
daughter even
more by encouraging readers to buy more products, and she should be
ashamed
because she shows herself to be the perfect love caring mom, which
I'm sure she
is, but when BritneySpears.com did not get updated for almost 11
months last
year (that showed how much the officials really cared about her fans
on the
Internet, they must have said "oh what the hell, why spend money on
a team to
revamp her site when there are so many loyal and honest fansites
keeping the
world wired anyways?") and I tried to get a hold of the appropiate
person and
ask them if Lynne could start writing her corner on World of
Britney.com just to
have a place to keep the fans updated with her warm heart and
stories, I found
out that the only reason why she agreed to have her corner on
BritneySpears.com,
was because they paid her to do it. I've known this forever, but
I've never
really cared to even mention it. I am tired of seeing how everything
around
Britney Spears is about money, tired of seeing how little girls feel
the need to
go out and dress exactly like her, when the image she is portraying
of herself
is not even real. Remember, things AREN'T always what they SEEM to
be, don't get
lost in a world that does NOT exist ! It's about a perfect girl in a
perfect
world, the fantasy, that is what some poor fans get dragged into,
they get
obsessed/fall in love and feel the need to do everything she does,
buy more
merchandise, buy more products, HEY! We just care about her
personality and
music! So after being a Britney fan for almost 3 years and knowing
all the
things I know (which I don't think I want to mention) I can assure
you all of
this. Why has she gotten so rude with fans lately?, I get E-mails
from honest
fans that have met her and have told me how little she really cares
about them
as individuals, and sometimes fans are so naive and they don't
believe this.
Always remember that there is a BIG difference between the Private
and the
Public Britney. I am tired of record labels and people in suits not
giving a
damn about fans that really do matter, fans that really have made a
difference,
instead of supporting them, they turn against you and treat you like
your
worthless, unless they see you as $ sign where they can take
advantage of you to
take more money into their pockets. I was asked by Britney.com to
run a Fan
Section on their official website a couple of months ago, they also
wanted me to
do it for free, meaning I would have to bust my ass working and
supporting their
artist a.k.a product meaning even more money would go into them,
later when I
was to agree to it, I was told I did not have the right mentality to
do it. It's
just a bunch of things that boiled up you know?, one day you're told
this, the
other day you're told that. Way too much for me to handle. Sometimes
people
forget that we're only human, that there in fact are people out
there that work
their asses off for the pure satisfaction of others, not expecting
anything
back. I see how certain fans are in love with Britney Spears and
their dream is
to one day meet her, especially younger fans, but what they don't
realize is
that Britney Spears is not the girl she used to be, the greatness,
the power and
the fame has changed her. I am tired of seeing her lip-synch, I am
tired of
seeing how she sometimes sees her fans in millions, instead of seing
them as
individual human beings, but most of all, I'm tired of seeing how
fake she has
gotten. I'm also 19, 20 in a month, I know EXACTLY the things that
19 year olds
do and don't in the year 2002, let's get REAL for a second. In
regards to the
IAS4U video she says "Oh the video is about being a slave for the
music" but she
agrees to portray a 7 peep orgy with a guy licking her face, and u
know, that is
fine...but don't say things that aren't the way you make them look
like. Also,
what was UP with the moanings she did at the Las Vegas concert? I
mean, u can't
possibly go out and claim yourself to still be mom's little girl, u
can't have a
split personality and fool your fans like that, be whatever you WANT
TO BE but
don't deny things. I know some of you will probably hate me now, and
that is
fine, but remember that this is coming from me....remember that, and
you all
know me, you all know me pretty well, because one thing I have made
sure is to
portray my personality on this website which has been TRUE and
HONEST. I don't
know many of you, but I know that many of you know me, so take that
into
consideration.
This all together plus other personal reasons have led me to not be
motivated
anymore to continue supporting Britney Spears as a fan, I'm not
saying that I'll
stop listening to her music, all I'm saying is that the whole
business around
her has made me sick, she's a product now and well positioned with
the highest
authorities. The music business is huge, and people at Jive have
called me
ignorant in the field, and I probably am, but one thing I have, is
feelings, my
world does not revolve around making profit for something, I don't
get paid for
what I do, I did this website from my heart, and whenever I would do
something
that fans would love, such as put up a video or a song, the guys in
suits would
come and threaten to shut me off, because I wasn't letting them get
their
promotional strategies done correctly, my website was making them
earn less
money, the control that I had over things was screwing their plans.
Having Jive
Records US, Zomba Records UK and Paramount Pictures on your butt
24/7 trying to
control your content is not a very nice thing, and especially when
all I was
trying to do, was to create more attention for their artist. Getting
Word
Documents with half way filed lawsuits and threats when I live in a
divorced
family is NOT FUNNY.
The website got too big, too big for me to handle, it made me loose
a lot of
things that I before treasured with my life. It made me live a life
based on the
Internet, it made me escape from my real world, and live in a world
that doesn't
really exist. I one day told myself that if Britney Spears would to
dissapoint
me big time, I would not continue doing this anymore,she lost me as
a fan, and
I did so much for her, I paid so much money to keep this going, but
in the end,
it only led to disaster, the people that should REALLY care and
SUPPORT the
website, such as HER people didn't even make themselves heard to me.
I called
Rudolph&Beer (Larry Rudolph's agency) one day with a proposition,
and that was
to generate donations for the Britney Spears foundation through our
website, so
that more and more kids could get help, I called and introduced
myself...but
they basically laughed at me and acted as if they did not have time
to talk with
a Britney fan from Sweden who just meant well. She happened to loose
a fan that
used to run one of the biggest Britney Spears websites out there,
god, we were
even featured in PEOPLE, isn't that something to hold on to.
I could continue running this website, but one thing I've always
known is that
when you get tired of something, you just don't do it anymore, it's
time for me
to move on, I'm almost 20...it's time for me to start wondering what
I will do
with my life and where it will take me, I can't base my life on a
girl that I
have never met and probably never will, because if I want to
continue running
this website, that is just what I have to do, because the point of
having
something like this is about outdoing yourself all the time, I feel
ashamed if
the website would still be up but loose its quality, besides, the
main point is,
the motivation is not there anymore. For the past 2 years, I've been
at Britney
Spears' service, and in return, I've gotten hurt more than pleased
not to
mention used. This is something that I don't expect many of you to
understand
either but you will just have to trust me on this one. It's hard to
be at the
top, there are too many people that don't like you. I am not saying
I am leaving
because I couldn't handle that anymore, or because I'm not strong
enough, I'm
leaving because I feel that World of Britney.com became more than I
could
handle, and it has exhausted me. Another reason is because I feel
that I cannot
trust anyone's word anymore, I have been screwed over so much,
people have told
me things I really thought came from their hearts, making me take
action upon
decisions that I today in a way regret I did. Once again, this
became too much
for me, and I will feel that a huge load will be taken off my back
once I cut
this off, I think I've served the Britney Spears community well for
the past 18
months, but things never last forever so it's time for me to say
goodbye."
http://www.worldofbritney.com
