January 23rd, 2000 Sunday

Hi!

Last night i shaved my legs for only the second time in my life. The first time was for a play, and doesn't really count. But this time was only for ((((me)))). I treated myself to some Henna-shampoo, which should help maintain my new colouring. (that's also a first, a friend put it in for me on the 1st of the new millenium). Then i used some african mud-honey-cream stuff (these products all have names, but i forget brand-names and such so quickly). Then make-up, trying out all the new stuff i had bought for myself earlier in the day. I really need to learn what all this is, and how it's supposed to be used properly. I'm just trying to copy from the other girls, the real girls. Then i got dressed in my prettiest dress, and did my hair, and when i was all finished?
Well, the next step would be to go out, no? I did go out, all the way down the hall to the toilets, and nobody saw me, to my great relief. Anyway, it's a summer dress, for those rare very hot days we get around here, when the only thing you can do is hang out at the lake and drink iced wine. And outside it was and still is snowing, beautiful big flakes, the best snow we've had yet this winter. So it really didn't seem such a wise move, instead i just stayed in and read a book of novellas. I don't know how many times i burst out in tears last night. Anything might make me cry, a sentence or two in a book, a single frame in a graphic novel, a favorite song (even if it was originaly solid hard-rock, and is now playing in a symphonic version with harps and angel-voices over a supermarket sound-system, but of course that would make anybody cry). Afterwards i slept soundly, as i have been able to most nights this year (and what a blessing that is).

Today i didn't do much. Slept in, read some more, tried to recover a little box of perfume cream (a present from my sister) that i had forgotten in a café, but it was closed. Came here (my parents place) to use the puter and go online. Chatted online with some friends, specially my dear friend Hanna, and of course started this page. Now i need to catch up on some mail, specificly i need to tell my new TS-contact (another first) where i live, so that she can send me a list of local adresses. I allready asked her for them, but forgot to tell her that we're in the same town. I forgot that just because i knew where she lived (from her website) didn't mean that she knew where i lived. But first get something to eat. And then perhaps come back and do some more work on this page.

Love, Ruby