Autumn 1

Chapter 1 - Progression

The day had gone on uneventfully as usual. On this day though, there was a difference within him, something triggered by that person he spoke with in the chatroom last night. Trying to be more awake, trying to open his eyes for whoever that male admirer was. In his classroom, for the first time in a long time, he hadn't spent the entire time to sleep. No, he had watched some male classmates closely, much to the surprise of all of them. But there didn't seem to be anyone there really...

<Yuuto, Keita, Touya, Shinji... The list goes on and on but I couldn't find anyone. Besides, none of them played serious basketball.>

The only one he could really point to having some attraction towards him was a guy called Shun but that guy was no basketball player. Rather, he was an openly gay person, a fruitcake in the kindest word he could find for him. He was one of the few guys in his fan club. It couldn't be him.

After classes was the usual short practice that Shohoku team had. It was just for one hour, doing regular drills and he'd looked at everyone more perceptively. He'd seen...

Sakuragi was there, finally recovered from his back injury. The other boy had returned a few weeks ago and they were back to their usual bickering. Of course, it couldn't be Sakuragi though since he was practically drooling over Haruko again that afternoon, in his usual display of attraction towards her.

Ryota... Well, like Sakuragi, Ryota was in the pursuit of another girl. He was chasing after Ayako... yet again. The two of them had finally become an item but they didn't act like it too often. It seemed as if Ayako just gave in finally to Ryota. That day, the persistent older boy was constantly trying to get Ayako to go out with her to go to some club. He'd perked up when he heard "Siren", the club his that had been mentioned last night in the chatroom. Curious, he had gone on closer to them while trying not to be conspicuous. Ayako noticed it with her usual high sensitivity and had gone on to let him state his curiosity over the said club.

Siren was a rave club that was located in downtown Kanagawa. It was near the sea, an abandoned warehouse that had been renovated to be a club. The club itself was immensely popular among the youth in Kanagawa, a place frequented often by teenagers and young adults. However, it was looked down upon by parents and families as they see it as morally wrong to have in this place. It signified a change of culture, a change of the times. Ayako didn't know much else about it though and told him that he would have to ask someone else about more details. Ryota had bragged on about it but when asked, he said that he had actually never been there actually.

Anyway, moving on, Rukawa had looked on at Mitsui. The older boy was always focussing on him, angry and obviously jealous at his status as a member of the 'All Japan Youth Team'. Mitsui was placing his negative energies on him lately and he wondered at that. However, that didn't confirm that Mitsui was his admirer of any sort. Though Mitsui was acknowledging him, the older boy forgot about him whenever Kogure visited them in the gym - much like Sakuragi did when Haruko was near. There seemed to be something going on between Mitsui and Kogure, that much was obvious.

Rukawa looked on at his other team-mates, minor players in their team. It was obvious in their eyes that all of them had that silent admiration and dedication towards him. He hadn't been sure who exactly was that specific person from last night. It could be one of them. Eventually, the practice ended and it was time to go on home. The players had left and he had no more chance to figure who his secret admirer was. He figured he'd try to find him again in later days...

Closing his eyes briefly, Rukawa let the cool breeze run its soothing fingers on his hair, billowing them as it breathed closely to his face. He was cycling on to his usual game with Sendoh, another challenge at hand. They played one on one constantly these past few months and he found the games they had a big help to improve his basketball skills. Since they were a good match, the challenge was really a good way to strengthen himself. And since it was the off season, the tough one on ones were a way to keep themselves in top condition. Besides, it was refreshing to be with someone even if they just played. It kept his mind off things, something he was thankful for even if Sendoh sometimes teased him enough to be annoyed. It had started way back, right before the State Championship Tournament. After the final match between Ryonan and Shohoku where he was very much impressed by Sendoh's performance, he had gone on to challenge him. After a few more encounters, he felt oddly at ease enough to ask the older boy for advice regarding his intended professional career.

"Eiji..." Sendoh had said when he asked him if there was a better player than him. Sendoh had gone on to tell him that he lacked something in his game play, something that stifled him to not be able to beat him as a player. That skill he lacked had been to assist - something that made him more of a team player and less of a 'selfish player'. The advice had worked well enough to lead him to defeat Sawakita Eiji to perhaps be one of the best of Japan . It worked well enough to help beat Sannoh, last year's overall champion in Japan and arguably the toughest team in the league both this year and last year. Rukawa had been eternally grateful for that advice he had gotten from Sendoh but had not expressed his gratitude yet, not really knowing how to do so. But after the tournament was over, Sendoh became a precious close person to his life, one he could almost consider as a friend. Though true that he had told the person from last night that he had no friends, Sendoh was nearing to fit that description in his life...

Opening his eyes slowly, Rukawa realized he had dozed off in his own thoughts. He was grateful that he was still on the bike lane, safe from any harm. He'd have to avoid these internal monologues. They were dangerous and he just couldn't risk himself like that. Passing a corner of a street, his eyes gazed upon a familiar park by the seaside. Pedalling near it, he got off his bike and chained it to the fence of the park. For awhile, he looked on at the sea, letting the calm breeze move over his features, smoothing back his hair. He watched the blue of the waves then the sky that was tinged with a few nimbus clouds here and there. It seemed like it was going to rain later on in this cool autumn day but for now, the sun was still high, still peering through the clouds. Picking up his things from the bike, he entered the park, ready to see the familiar face of Sendoh.

"Rukawa! Heh, you're here, I've waited for you..." That ready smile and those friendly gestures directed at him. It was one of the more confusing things about the older boy. Sendoh was calm and relaxed enough to not let his stoicism affect him. Obviously, Sendoh saw him as a challenge and had done quite remarkably in figuring him out. The older boy now had the pride of being able to go past his defences and know quite a few things about him.

Entering the court, Rukawa gave a brief nod before placing his things on the bench at the side. He faced Sendoh afterwards and finally noted that Sendoh was alone today, without the fans and other players who often tagged along with him. Often there was Koshino and Hikoichi, sometimes Fukuda... Today though, Rukawa had the pleasure of being alone with Sendoh without the watchers that seemed to be more of a source of annoyance than anything else. He could only wonder at why that was so...

"Prepare, kitsune-chan, to be defeated once again." Upon saying this, Sendoh looked on as Rukawa went in front of him to assume a guarding position. He noted the usual annoyance at that abhorred nickname and snickered to himself. He had started to call Rukawa fox boy since Sakuragi had happened to pass through this park to watch them both play. Sakuragi was, as usual, insulting Rukawa. He had caught the redhead's moniker for the younger boy - the odd nickname 'kitsune'. After that, wanting to tease to just get any sort of reaction, Sendoh too began to call Rukawa that. However, unlike Sakuragi, he did it not to insult Rukawa. Rather, he just thought it was cute to call the younger boy that and even cuter to get a reaction from him. It was quite an amusement.

Rolling his eyes, Rukawa just stood his ground, watching all of Sendoh's movements. "Shut up."

Laughing, Sendoh just dribbled the ball for awhile, assessing his moves. For a few moments, he tried a few complicated dribbles before driving to the basket to make an easy lay-up. Score was 1-0. They played the rest of the afternoon in their usual excitement and bliss with regards to the game and actually did not want to stop...

They played for an hour or so...

Dribbling once again though, Sendoh paused suddenly as lightning cut through the sky and thunder roared. He saw Rukawa pause too and they looked on up at the sky, surprised at the change in weather. Up high, it had become grey in this late afternoon and small lightnings flashed by silently in the distance, the low rumbling of thunder following each one after a few intervals. Slowly, tiny water droplets pelted on the ground and into their clothes and skin, alerting both boys. It was a risk to the health obviously especially after a sweaty afternoon of one on one.

"I guess I've got to go..." Rukawa stood up straight from his defensive position.

"Hey! You can't just go home like this!" Sendoh exclaimed, gaining the younger boy's attention. When Rukawa looked at him, he smiled impeccably. "Look, my house is nearer here and I brought an umbrella so that we don't have to get wet on our way there. Besides, your apartment is too far away and you'll just risk yourself to get wet and get sick. I can't allow that, can't I?"

Surprised and confused at that personality that Sendoh had, Rukawa restrained his reaction. Listening to the statement though, it made sense to him to just do what Sendoh had said. He'd gone on to Sendoh's home before and had met his sister and mother. Sendoh had forced him to go on home with him to watch an old movie called 'Interview with a Vampire' since the older boy had been obsessed with vampires that time. He'd gone on and watched with him. He found he rather enjoyed the movie but had been a bit uneasy at the homosexual undertones between the characters Lestat and Louis. At that time, he had worried if Sendoh noticed it, but then there was no reaction on the older boy's part. He may have forgotten or he may not have noticed it at all. Anyway, he had gone on a few more times to Sendoh's house for a snack after their basketball game where Sendoh's mother was so friendly to keep him fed until he couldn't handle a night meal afterwards. At those times, he had felt a bit sorrowful at the difference between Sendoh and himself with regards to family but he took those moments for what they were, just happy to be invited in a warm home. That was that.

"Rukawa? Hey, snap out of it!" A chuckle and Rukawa focused on the other person in front of him. Sendoh had already had his bag hanging from his shoulder, his umbrella covering them both from the rain. He also had Rukawa's bag in his hands, a teasing smirk on his lips.

"I... sorry..." Rukawa mentally kicked himself for his sudden musing and took the bag gratefully from Sendoh's hands.

"So, you're coming, right? Mom and dad's not home. I'm not sure if 'neechan is home either but there's some snacks available in the refrigerator... unlike yours." Sendoh rolled his eyes mockingly at Rukawa as they began to walk out of the park.

"I guess I could come..." Rukawa just muttered, not really thinking of his response. He went on to unlock his bike and they walked together side by side along the sea where the high cemented pathway prevented the waves from going to the streets. He'd heard the tease about his often empty refrigerator and just shrugged. Sendoh often chided him with regards to his food shortage since after he'd discovered it when Rukawa had first brought Sendoh over to his apartment. Since then, Sendoh sometimes scolded him enough to come with him to buy some goods for himself. He was thankful for that since when he was hungry at home, he could just look on at the storage. It had been a while though since he'd last shopped and his supplies were running rather low...

"You're thinking again..."

Rukawa looked slowly towards the side to meet blue eyes like his own. He shrugged.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Random things..."

"Hmm, really?" Sendoh asked nonchalantly, casually watching as Rukawa let his bicycle roll on beside him.

Rukawa shrugged again. Suddenly, he remembered something. It was something he forgot while playing with Sendoh - about his so-called secret admirer. Perhaps he should ask Sendoh if he knew someone... But then again, that would be weird, wouldn't it? Perhaps he'd just ask about something else...

"Sendoh..."

"What?"

"Siren. You know about it?"

Sendoh looked at him in surprise, something flashing across his eyes. Rukawa couldn't read his expressions though as the surprise was quickly smoothed over with a grin. "Oh, yeah. It's a club in downtown. I've been there many times."

"What's it like?"

"Heh, you actually interested in socializing, Rukawa? The world must be ending!"

Rukawa rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I was just curious..."

"Okay, okay, no need to be so defensive." Sendoh smirked with a wink. "Anyway, it's a rave club that's got freedom unlike other rave clubs. What I mean is that you're free to be yourself there, to express yourself. If you like goth, you could look like one. If you're gay, you could act like one. If you want to crossdress, you're free to do so. A freedom club. And the music is just great. The DJs are very popular."

"You often go there?" Rukawa asked, raising a brow. Sendoh had never told him this. Maybe Sendoh would have a clue on who his admirer was since that person from last night found him in that chatroom after all. Tonight, he would have to ask him about it...

"Yeah, I often go there. Actually, lots of basketball players go there and many students I know. You won't believe who I've run into so far..." Sendoh grinned, his eyes twinkling in humour.

"Who?" Rukawa couldn't help but be curious, not really one to gossip often. And since there was the possibility of hearing about basketball players he knew being queer or whatever, this was an interesting subject.

Sendoh laughed. "There were actually gay couples in basketball. I never told you, haven't I? Oh, well, there was Maki and Fujima. They were a very sweet couple."

"Maki and Fujima!?!" Rukawa's eyes widened, not being able to prevent it.

"Yup... I think it started after you guys beat Shoyo in the tournament. Fujima was very depressed about it and it turned out that Maki was the one to console him. Their relationship grew from there."

"Really? I never knew..." Rukawa looked out into the sea, his surprise staggering. Sometimes ignorance was bliss but not this time. Perhaps he should pay more attention to his surroundings besides his most loved basketball. "Anyway, who else did you see?"

"Nobunga and Sakuragi."

"What!?!" Rukawa's eyes widened and he looked intensely at Sendoh, unable to believe. Nobunga and Sakuragi... had to be the funniest couple ever! Though, they didn't make him laugh...

"Hah!" Sendoh smirked, suddenly laughing. "I love that reaction!"

"You provoked me..." Rukawa realized with a frown. He rolled his eyes and looked on to the side.

"Hey, stop pouting. You're ruining your face. Anyway, I saw them together but not /together/. They were on a double date just recently. Nobunga was with some girl and Sakuragi was with Haruko-san. Nobunga said something about Sakuragi paying him back for a trip they had had by train months back."

"Oh..." Rukawa muttered, calming down a bit. "Who else did you see?"

"Akagi and some girl. Quite an amazing sight since they looked so in love..."

"Really? I didn't know that..." Rukawa thought a bit about Shohoku's former team captain. He realized he didn't really know much about him besides him being his teammate before. In a way though, he was somewhat glad that Akagi had found someone...

"I also saw Mitsui and Kogure... I bet this one you at least know."

"Yeah, I noticed them..." Rukawa muttered. "Mitsui lightens up when Kogure visits him in the gym..."

"Why? Is he giving you a hard time?" There was genuine concern on Sendoh's face and Rukawa could only wonder at that.

"He's sometimes mad at how far I've gotten. I guess he's mad since he knows that he could have been there beside me or perhaps be better than me..." Rukawa looked to see at Sendoh's reaction.

Sendoh just looked on at Rukawa with a soft smile, his gaze softening. "That's to be expected. You're a great player, Rukawa. You've made it to Team Japan . Anyone could be jealous..."

The reaction startled Rukawa, not being used to compliments even now. Sendoh constantly gave him positive feedback but until now, he had not gotten used to it. Feeling the need to be defensive, Rukawa looked away and muttered something under his breath. "I still couldn't beat you though..."

Sendoh just grinned. "Of course you can't. But at least the gap isn't so large, isn't it?" When Rukawa looked at him, he just winked.

Rukawa rolled his eyes and they continued walking on. Finally reaching a neighbourhood, they stepped off the concrete barricade to the sea and went on to Sendoh's home. Walking side by side, he suddenly noticed that the rain had turned to a slight drizzle before slowly ceasing into nothing as Sendoh finally closed the umbrella. He looked on up high and noticed that a rainbow was present - one that spanned from the sea to inner Kanagawa. The sight almost made him smile.

"You like rainbows, don't you?" Sendoh paused at the twitch at the corner of Rukawa's lips, their walk ceasing.

When Rukawa looked at Sendoh, he was surprised to see that the older boy's cobalt gaze was focused entirely at him. Feeling a bit uneasy, he put his focus again up to the said rainbow. "It's something complicated... but I like it..."

"There was a story I heard from another religion." Sendoh muttered, smiling at the graceful arch of Rukawa's neck, the way those blue fox eyes focused on the heavens. "It said that once long ago, there was a great flood that engulfed the world. It killed so much living creatures but one ship of a family and two of each kind of animal were saved. That was Noah who had built that ship, one whom Christians claim all people had come from."

"What does that have to do with a rainbow?"

"After the flood, when the lands were dry again, the first rainbow appeared." Sendoh smiled up to the sky. "It was a symbol of promise that God will never kill the world with flood as big as that one again..."

"I think I've heard of it." Rukawa looked slowly from the rainbow to Sendoh, noticing the calm familiar smile on Sendoh's face. He admired that smile, the way it always seemed to be present, ever ready to be shown even to him. "From the Christian Bible in the Old Testament."

Surprised, Sendoh looked down to see Rukawa looking at him. "Huh? You know about that?"

"I think my grandmother was a Christian and she used to read the Bible. It was too early in my life though. I could barely remember."

"You never did tell me about your family..." Sendoh spoke his thoughts before cringing at his disrespect at Rukawa's privacy. Looking off to the side though as they began to walk again, Rukawa didn't seem to mind. The younger boy seemed to be thinking...

<No family, no friends...> Rukawa didn't know why he suddenly recalled his words to that other boy from last night. He wondered why Sendoh suddenly asked him about his family. Perhaps Sendoh had finally spoken his curiosity. He didn't mind though, telling some things to Sendoh. For a moment, he stayed silent, not knowing what to say. He looked on up to the sky as they walked. Instead of the rainbow and the sky though, he saw the autumn trees that signified this season they were in now. Bright orange leaves contrasted greatly with the dark chocolate colour of the trees they were attached to. A wind suddenly ruffled those leaves, destroying the bond between tree and leaves like a parent to a child. The branches swayed and a faint swishing sound was heard, bright orange leaves falling slowly to the ground. It looked truly beautiful.

"I used to play in a pile of autumn leaves when I was little..." He did not know why he said that but shrugged and went on. "After my grandfather raked them, I jumped on them because they tickled my skin and they were like a cushion."

Surprised at Rukawa's sudden words, Sendoh just grinned, intending to share stories of childhood with the younger boy. "I used to do that too. Every time I did though, my mom spanked me."

There was a definite small laugh that escaped Rukawa's lips and Sendoh was amazed to hear such an expression. He looked on closely at Rukawa's obvious restraint and the sudden quieting of those lips. Sendoh frowned. "First time I hear you laugh and you stop it right away. I like hearing you laugh. You should do it more often, you know." When Rukawa looked at him, he just smirked and winked.

Rukawa looked at that smirk and he shook his head. He knew not how to react. However, he appreciated it that Sendoh affected him enough to make him laugh. It was something he hadn't done for many many years now. It was something welcomed in his life. It also made him suddenly realize something...

That now, Sendoh was not just close to becoming his friend...

That Sendoh was actually his one and only friend...

It gave relief inside him but he was wary, knowing the consequences of being close to someone. He knew all about it - the way that in the end, there was always the risk of losing the most precious person in his life.

Rukawa took one small peek at Sendoh's smile.

"We're here." Sendoh grinned, disrupting Rukawa's thoughts. He lead them both inside the gate to his home and went on to open the door while Rukawa placed his bike underneath a shade. They entered the house to a sound of pulsing music.

Beating like thuds from a living heart, the beats echoed throughout the house, pulsing and pounding. It throbbed like a swell bursting forth, ready to explode. The sight which greeted them was not so ordinary, three females moving against gravity in a distinct pattern, like a silky streak of flowing river. They moved - danced.

A pause and the two intruders just stared upon entering, not truly knowing what to do. Suddenly, eyes met - two identical sapphire ones that belonged to people who were connected by blood. Acknowledgement was present and the sound ceased into deafening silence.

"Oh, you're home..." A calm smile that broke the moment. It was Sendoh's elder sister, grinning with amusement at the two boys at the doorway.

Sendoh raised a brow and entered, placing the wet umbrella out to dry before closing the door behind him. "And you are too... What's up?"

"They wanted to take lessons from the dance mistress." She grinned. "It'll be their first time on a rave club. Tomorrow, we're going to Siren. You want to come?" There was something particular in her eyes. "Maybe you'd like to bring your friend along too?"

Rukawa watched the siblings speak to each other, noting the girls who had been dancing earlier on. They were staring obviously at him and at Sendoh, obviously there to admire. He was not affected though since his preference was not towards their kind. Instead, he focused on Sendoh and his sister...

Sendoh's sister. Pretty, tall like her brother and with natural feminine grace, her name was Fuji , a first year student in Kanagawa University . Her major was Zoology as she was into animals. She drove her own car, was two years older than Sendoh, the second child among three children and the only girl. Older than her is their eldest brother Ryosuke, a 22 year old businessman in Tokyo . He occasionaly visited...

"So, what about it?"

Sendoh grinned at the look on his sister's face and knew the hidden meaning behind her words. She had known about his admiration towards the boy beside himself. She was the only one who knew about his dual sexuality. They were the closest in his family. Looking to his side, he saw that Rukawa was off to his little world, not paying attention. He remembered distinctly Rukawa's interest at that club and this was one chance to get Rukawa to socialize, right?

"Rukawa..."

"Huh?" Rukawa looked on back at Sendoh's face and almost frowned at the smirk directed at him. Undoubtedly, Sendoh was up to something no good.

"Since you seem to be interested in Siren, why not go with us tomorrow? 'Neechan and her friends are going and I guess I'll come too. Now's your chance to see what's it like."

Rukawa frowned. The truth was he was curious. But then, he was too reserved for events like this one. He was just too unused to people... After all, it had taken months for him to be able to just speak comfortably with Sendoh. And now, this? To go to Siren was too much...

<Fear... Perhaps, that's it. I don't know why I fear it but perhaps to be free of my bounds would mean to escape from the safety of my own shell. To be able to open up just like that...

"I... Maybe another time." He looked on at Sendoh and saw the restrained disappointment in those eyes. A shame... He hated to see anything else but happiness in those eyes since anything else seemed so foreign and so out of place.

"Come on." Sendoh tried again, trying to urge. "It'll be fun. I promise."

"No."

Sendoh sighed, looking on at his sister with a shake of his head. "Can't convince kitsune-chan, sorry 'neechan. Maybe another time for him. I guess I have yet to convince him."

Fuji just sighed with a little smile and turned to her friends. They were looking at her. They seemed to whisper something to Fuji , something the two boys could not hear. An amused expression placed itself on her features as she turned to her brother. "Akira, come over here..."

Sendoh shrugged and urged Rukawa to follow him as he went nearer the girls. "What is it, 'neechan?"

"My friends would like to be introduced to you both..." Fuji looked like she was going to laugh out hysterically at any minute. "Akira, Kaede, these are Ayame and Yui. They said they'd like to be introduced to you..."

"Hi..." Yui said, an obvious blush staining her cheeks. "Nice to meet you both..."

"Pleased to meet you both too." Sendoh smiled.

"Hey, hey..." Fuji grinned, obviously restraining herself from laughing. "Ayame, Yui... My brother and his friend are too young, don't you think?"

"How old are you both exactly?" It was Ayame who asked.

"I turned seventeen recently..." Sendoh grinned.

Rukawa's perked up suddenly, hearing that statement to be familiar. Someone who turned seventeen recently... He didn't know who had said that to him... Wait a minute... Anyway, he wasn't here for Sendoh's seventeenth birthday before since he had to go to Tokyo for the All Japan Youth Camp. He had missed it...

"And you, Kaede-kun?"

Hearing his name suddenly, Rukawa looked up at the expectant gaze of the blushing girls. "Uh, fifteen..."

"Eh?" The reaction was obvious, their cheeks turning redder. "You're young but..."

"We both play basketball. If you're wondering, that's why we're tall." Sendoh explained. "We belong to two different high school teams. Their team is ranked number 2 in the prefecture and ours is ranked number 3."

"And both of them are among the best five players of the prefecture!" Fuji declared. "Kaede-kun is in the Japan Youth team."

"Wow, you two are famous..."

Sendoh just smiled. "Anyway, please enjoy your stay in this house. We've got to go now." Giving a look to his sister, he urged Rukawa to follow him upstairs to his room.

***

After showering and borrowing some clothes from Sendoh, it was Sendoh's turn to shower and Rukawa went on down to the kitchen upon Sendoh's insistence, looking for something they both could snack on. He was thankful upon going there that only Fuji was present and the two swooning girls from earlier were gone. He walked towards the refrigerator to search for something that Sendoh would like to eat...

"If you're wondering where they are, they left already since we have a test tomorrow." Fuji spoke from behind a book she was reading. She sat on one of the stools by the counter, ignoring the television that was turned on. The background noise of the news was behind her.

"I noticed..." he could only mutter.

"They were shocked at your age." She grinned, peering up at her book and laughing quite a bit. Rukawa rolled his eyes. She was like her brother, easily annoying sometimes. He didn't know why he sticked with them sometimes. "Really, Kaede-kun, you shouldn't tell them how young you are. You drive older women away like that sometimes. Being underage and all..."

"I'm not interested in women..." Rukawa could only mutter in response, not really caring what she thought about that. He would care perhaps if it was Sendoh who was there right now. He picked up two pears from the bottom drawer of the refrigerator and closed the door. He stood up and began to walk on back to Sendoh's room. Looking sideward though, he noted the surprise in Fuji 's eyes. Then she cackled.

"Really? So, you're gay? What an interesting thing..." Her eyes gleamed. "And I guess it's kind of obvious, having a large female fan base and not paying them any attention - at all. Heh, you know what Kaede-kun, I know someone who's just right for you. You want to meet him? Don't worry though, I know this will be your first time so I'll pick one suited entirely for you. So, what do you say? Interested?"

He ignored her, much in the same way he did Sakuragi when the other boy was insulting him too much. Walking on back upstairs, he tried to ignore his thoughts too though as usual that was a futile effort...

<It's unfortunate that that kind of thing isn't for someone like me...>

<...I don't know how...>

He entered the room and met Sendoh towelling his hair, his torso bare to the air. He watched the strong muscles for one moment then looked away, trying not to blush. It was a wrong thing... To be attracted to his friend in a physical manner just like that... It was disgraceful to just be this person with a preference that was frowned upon by society. And to look at Sendoh just like that... It was shameful.

"Hey..." Sendoh greeted, a warm smile on his face.

Rukawa looked up and saw the easy smile on that face, noticing how much he wanted that smile to never vanish just because he couldn't smile himself. He looked down at his hands before tossing one of the pears he held, watching the graceful way it flew in the air as it slowly descended to the ready hand of Sendoh.

"Thanks but..." Sendoh blinked, looking at the fruit. "Isn't this a bit unsatisfying for a snack?"

"If you want more then go get more." Rukawa stated, closing the door and lifting his own pear up to meet his eyes. He looked at the smooth soft yellow texture, cold to the touch from the stay in the refrigerator. Finally, he took a crunchy bite on it and tasted its sweet flavour, savouring its taste for awhile.

"Ah, never mind. Dinner will come up soon anyway." Sendoh grinned, taking a bite himself. "Hey, you want to stay for dinner? I think 'neechan's making casserole tonight. You like that, don't you?"

"I'm going home actually." Rukawa responded with a small shrug. "I'm going to practice early tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Tomorrow's Saturday, isn't it? Hey, that reminds me about Siren since after tomorrow would be Sunday - no classes. You really should go with us! It's a great place. Don't worry, if you don't want to dance then you don't have to. I just want you there with us. So, please?" Sendoh gave his pleading smile, hoping it'll work.

Rukawa however was not so sure about going to that club. "Why would you want me to go?"

"I want you to have fun too, of course!" At Rukawa's confusion, Sendoh just snickered. "I know you, kitsune-chan. You'll either lock yourself in your apartment sleeping endlessly or you'd be practicing basketball. Go out and have fun! You're young, beautiful - "

"Beautiful?" Rukawa asked in confusion. "I'm not a girl..."

"Heh, but you are! Don't you ever listen to your many fans?" Sendoh laughed.

"I'm not a girl..."

"Alright, alright..." Sendoh snickered, not being able to help himself. "Anyway, as I was saying, you're young, beautiful, popular. But you need to be happy too, you know? Who knows? Maybe you'll find someone special in Siren..."

Rukawa looked up in surprise. His mind conjured one possibility as he recalled...

<'Seven'... That male basketball player who admired /me/. He should be in Siren, shouldn't he? Maybe I could find out...>

"So, please?" Sendoh blinked his eyes, trying for that pretty, adorable look. He was intensely gratified by the small laugh that escaped Rukawa yet again. He wished Rukawa would agree to come...

"Alright, fine..." Rukawa rolled his eyes in annoyance, wondering why Sendoh could easily manipulate him like this. "If I don't like it, I could go on home though, alright?"

"Fine, fine!" Sendoh grinned, jumping for joy. "As long as you'll be there at least!" He rushed to Rukawa and clutched his shirt, trying to make Rukawa jump with him. The younger boy only shook his head though, not understanding the constant cheerfulness of Sendoh. He tried to not notice the toned body that was just an arm's length away.

"Okay, okay, I understand..." Rukawa muttered, trying to pry Sendoh's hands of the shirt he was wearing... Sendoh's shirt. He tried not to sigh and went over to his things, packing up his belongings. He had to still do some homework after all and chat with that mysterious admirer of his. He stood up, seeing Sendoh's eyes on him. "I gotta go..."

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" Sendoh asked.

"After dinner, right? Shohoku would have a long practice tomorrow, I think."

"Don't worry." Sendoh grinned. "Ryonan also has a long practice. I'll pick you up at 8:00 pm , if that's alright with you. I think 'neechan and the others would go on ahead since their classes would only be until 3:00 pm in the afternoon. Siren would be until dawn anyway so time's not a problem. I promise you'll enjoy it, kitsune-chan!"

"Akira..." Rukawa could only mutter as he opened the door to Sendoh's room. "Don't call me that."

"Yeah, well - " Before any smart response could be heralded from the older boy, Rukawa left the room and closed the door, a small smirk on his face.

Sendoh paused though for a while upon the realization of something.

<Akira...> was what Rukawa called him. With a bright smile on his face, he rushed on downstairs to tell his sister about all the details.

***

Rukawa waited as he logged on to the internet. It was 9 pm . He'd changed his clothes, ate dinner, vacuumed and done his homework... all in the span of two hours. He'd even checked his homework twice, glad that it was flawlessly without error. During the tournaments months back, he hadn't had time to study much since he focused all his energies on basketball. Now though during the off season, he could at least concentrate some of his time on homework and other miscellaneous activities. He was thankful for that.

That familiar low hum was heard suddenly and Rukawa looked at the screen as he had finally logged on. The chat program had already been loaded earlier on so he merely connected to the local server, listed the channels and entered the boringly named chatroom # Kanagawa Clubhouse. He looked on at the names of those present... There was no 'Seven' yet. He had to wait perhaps.

Knowing he had to wait, Rukawa changed the window to the channels list, wanting to go on to his usual chatrooms, just to check on what people these days were talking about. He entered # Shohoku.

<Tensai> HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Rukawa's eyes bugged out, knowing who exactly who that person was. Just that nickname and the whole of Kanagawa would know exactly who it was. He groaned and rolled his eyes.

<Tensai> Ore wa Tensai! Ore wa Tensai!

Rukawa couldn't handle it anymore, wanting to retort so badly to the fool. He closed # Shohoku just to restrain himself.

Looking at the channels list, one channel caught his attention - one related with his sinful self.

# Gay-Boys... That was what it was called. For a while, he had always stared at it and ignored it. He figured he didn't have to acknowledge his sexuality with others like himself even in the net. He didn't really care what people think and he was comfortable enough to say it... in the net. But to talk about it... That was another matter. Rukawa recalled today in Sendoh's room, seeing his friend's sculpted upper body, that sinful desire to touch him... It was an insane feeling, something he had never felt for anyone else...

Rukawa groaned. Well, alright, he'd looked at some of his team-mates quite a few times and he did like seeing some of them. Mitsui was very handsome and his body looked both like a basketball player's and a fighter's. For quite a while, he had admired Mitsui's physical appearance. Not now though when the older boy loved to point out his faults due to a bit of jealousy. And not now when suddenly, his attention seemed to have drifted to his own friend...

Rukawa stopped at that thought, suddenly surprised. Friend... Today was the day he'd realized that Sendoh was actually his friend. They'd been acquainted for quite a while now and they only get closer and closer. It was just today when he actually acknowledged him as his friend. And he'd called him Akira... He wondered what Sendoh would think of that - if Sendoh would remember it of course.

Anyway...

# Gay-Boys... Should he or should he not?

Knowing that sooner or later, he was going to anyway, Rukawa clicked on the chatroom and entered it. Inside, there was lots of conversation. They were talking about how they came out, how emotional and whatever. Rukawa knew more than half of the people on the chatroom were not actually boys but perverted middle aged men who had dirty intentions. He even knew that some of them were girls pretending to be guys. Those crazy yaoi fans again...

Looking for awhile at the conversations, Rukawa wondered what to say. However, his thoughts were interrupted as one after the other, individual people sent messages to him.

On one window...

<Jinpai> Look at my pic baby and tell me what you think... (attachment: please confirm download)

He closed that one immediately and moved on to the next window.

<Yue> a
<Black-cat> 15... no s/l?
<Yue> Since I'm sure you're gay and we're all from Kanagawa...
<Black-cat> Smart... So... a?
<Yue> 19... Is that too old for you?
<Black-cat> Nah...

Rukawa could only wonder why Yue had to ask.

<Yue> Tell me about yourself...
<Black-cat> Uh, tall, pale... A bit on the thin side.
<Yue> Perfect.
<Black-cat> You?
<Yue> Very tall as in 6'6", muscular, tanned, smooth. I have a fetish on S/M and am very much a top.
<Black-cat> S/M?
<Yue> Bondage... You don't know about this yet? But then you're only 15...
<Black-cat> I know about bondage... Read a bit about them. Chains, whips, cuffs...
<Yue> *grin* You educate youself. That's good. Anyway, I assume you like to be bottom.
<Black-cat> Er... Yeah, I think...
<Yue> Perfect. What do you look like?
<Black-cat> Already told you.
<Yue> No, I mean your face.
<Black-cat> Oh... My hair's sort of long now. No haircut for awhile. Bangs are long enough to cover the front of my face. Straight black. Eyes are blue, skin's pale...
<Yue> Blue eyes? And you're Japanese?
<Black-cat> Yeah...

There was a sudden 'ding' and a new window opened. Feeling a bit annoyed at his conversation with Yue being interrupted, Rukawa glared at the new window. However, he stopped when he noticed that the person who initiated the chatroom was none other than 'Seven'.

<Seven> Hello! How was your day? ^_^ I'm in such a good mood...
<Black-cat> Oh, hi... Why are you in a good mood?
<Seven> Because I've seen my crush today and he was actually paying attention!
<Black-cat> Paying attention?
<Seven> As in he was not being a robot today. That was nice...

Rukawa paused, seeing something flashing at the bottom of the windows list. The conversation with Yue... He'd forgotten... He went back immediately to Seven just to tell him to wait awhile.

<Black-cat> Hey, wait awhile. I'm just going to end my conversation with someone.
<Seven> Yeah, fine...

Rukawa switched the window to the one with Yue.

<Yue> Blue eyes are rare in Japanese. I'm sure you're very beautiful in real life.
<Yue> Hey... You still there?
<Yue> Hello?
<Yue> You abandon me or something?
<Yue> Hello!
<Black-cat> Oh sorry... Someone I know just came online.
<Yue> Oh, okay. So, where were we?
<Black-cat> *shrug*
<Yue> Oh yeah, I was just going to propose. You wanna cyber?

Rukawa's eyes widened, not entirely expecting that. He had to close the window of course but somehow, he was curious. His morals won over though and he sighed at the opportunity.

<Black-cat> Sorry, I can't...
<Yue> Why not? Are you busy?
<Black-cat> No, but...
<Yue> Come on. You've teased me so much with how pretty you look. Come on!
<Black-cat> No, sorry.

With that, Rukawa closed the window and looked on at the conversation with Seven.

<Black-cat> I'm back.
<Seven> Great! Where were you?
<Black-cat> Some guy was... er...
<Seven> Cyber?
<Black-cat> Uh, yeah...
<Seven> Let me guess. You haven't even cybered yet, haven't you?
<Black-cat> ...
<Seven> What an innocent! You're so adorable! Just like someone I know...
<Black-cat> ...
<Seven> So, wanna cyber?
<Black-cat> Nah...
<Seven> You must be curious though. I know these things...
<Black-cat> I'm curious but...
<Seven> Not tonight? Hmm, you sound troubled... Oh wait, I can't hear you... *laugh*
<Black-cat> *rolls eyes* Anyway, what did you do today?
<Seven> Oh, the usual things a high school student does. Studies then basketball... And I saw Kaede-chan today! Damn it, he's too damn gorgeous... Anyway, what did you do today?
<Black-cat> Uhm, the usual too.
<Seven> Oh, you never did say what your extracurricular activity is. Mine's basketball... yours?
<Black-cat> Nothing in particular. Maybe just hanging out with my friend...
<Seven> Friend? Did you just say friend??? Wow, congratulations! You now have a friend! That's good.
<Black-cat> Yeah...
<Seven> Heh, a friend is precious. Never let go of that person. So who is he/she?
<Black-cat> It's a he. He's... some guy...
<Seven> Hah, is he someone you just met?
<Black-cat> I've been with him for quite awhile. I never really looked at him as a friend until recently.
<Seven> I guess you were reluctant.
<Black-cat> Why do you say that?
<Seven> People feel pain easily. From what I've heard about you, you seemed to have experienced much pain. You feared to be hurt for a long time perhaps, afraid to be left alone again, afraid to be abandoned... Am I right?
<Black-cat> Are you sure you're 17?
<Seven> Huh? Why?
<Black-cat> You speak like an old man...
<Seven> Heh, my grandfather and parents are philosophical. I'm the youngest in the family and everyone else is older than me. They're all matured... most of the time. I have no choice but to emulate them.
<Black-cat> ...
<Seven> You remind me of someone I know...
<Black-cat> You too...
<Seven> He's alone too, you know. I feel he's afraid too. Afraid to love and be left. So deserving of love... Yet he did not have it...
<Black-cat> ...
<Seven> Speechless, eh? ^_^
<Black-cat> Can't think of anything to talk about...
<Seven> Let's cyber then!
<Black-cat> Pervert!
<Seven> Hehehe... So anyway, you never did tell me how you looked like.
<Black-cat> If I told you, would you tell me how you looked like?
<Seven> Maybe...
<Black-cat> I can't trust you.
<Seven> Huh? Why?
<Black-cat> Because you'll say 'Secret!' again...
<Seven> Hah, you're beginning to know me. ^o^ So, we can't say our descriptions to each other then...
<Black-cat> That's for the best...
<Seven> Why?
<Black-cat> I feel like I know you.
<Seven> Same here. ^_^ So, anyway, what do you want to talk about tonight?
<Black-cat> Uhm, actually, since you have much experience...
<Seven> You're talking to the god of wood here. ^_^
<Black-cat> You're worse than that self-proclaimed 'Tensai'.
<Seven> Sakuragi?
<Black-cat> Yeah...
<Seven> But I /am/ a god of wood.
<Black-cat> Sure, sure...
<Seven> Of course I'm sure!
<Black-cat> *exasperated*
<Seven> Heh, anyway, what were you saying?
<Black-cat> I was talking about experience but not in that way. I don't know how to explain it...
<Seven> Just say it. ^_^
<Black-cat> I said I have this friend, right?
<Seven> Your new friend. Right...
<Black-cat> Have you ever been attracted... to your closest friend?

Sendoh looked at the screen and actually paused. Those words just hit the mark. He wondered who this Black-cat was but there was no other way to find out except to talk to him. They were so similar, as if reflections of each other. He decided to find out more.

<Black-cat> Hello?
<Seven> Oh sorry... Uh, anyway, yeah, I think this kind of thing happens to a lot of friends.
<Black-cat> Just today...
<Seven> Yeah?
<Black-cat> Well, he's an athelete.
<Seven> Interesting...

Rukawa knew another lie must be made up.

<Black-cat> A soccer forward.
<Seven> Oh.
<Black-cat> Oh?
<Seven> I was hoping we would have the same crush... A basketball player.
<Black-cat> Sorry to disappoint you.
<Seven> Heh, you could always have a crush on me.
<Black-cat> *ignore*
<Seven> LOL... Anyway, if you had one crush on one basketball player though... Wait, you do know the basketball players, don't you?
<Black-cat> I watch it... sometimes.
<Seven> Good good. Anyway, if you had one crush on one basketball player in high school, who would it be?

Who would it be? That would be easy. Rukawa wondered if it was safe to say it. It intrigued him though... Whoever this person he was talking to had said that he knew a lot of people from Ryonan. If he told him the truth... It really wouldn't matter. If Sendoh would hear of this then so be it. They wouldn't trace him so easily because of the privacy policy that the strict server ensured. He decided...

<Seven> You telling me or not? *yawn*
<Black-cat> Okay, okay...
<Seven> Who?
<Black-cat> Sendoh Akira.
<Seven> WHAT?!?
<Black-cat> Since you're a basketball player, you know him right?
<Seven> Know him? I... er... He's very famous!
<Black-cat> Yes. That's obvious.
<Seven> *laugh*
<Black-cat> What?
<Seven> You know it's funny...
<Black-cat> What's funny?
<Seven> Our crushes. Your crush and my crush... Sendoh Akira and Rukawa Kaede.
<Black-cat> What?
<Seven> They hang out together often, don't they? I know they're always playing one on one in a court near the seaside. Kind of suspicious, don't you think?
<Black-cat> What do you mean suspicious?
<Seven> Well, what if they were lovers?
<Black-cat> NO!
<Seven> Eh?
<Black-cat> I mean... Sendoh wouldn't have that relationship with Rukawa... right?
<Seven> You're naive. If it happens, it happens. Anyway, I think they look cute together. Even if I have a major crush on Kaede-chan, I think Sendoh would be good for him. Ah! I think I'm a fan of them now. Sendoh and Kaede-chan!
<Black-cat> Oh boy...
<Seven> Hehehe... You're jealous of Rukawa since he likes Sendoh. I thought you had your soccer player boyfriend already...
<Black-cat> First of all, you don't know if that's true between Rukawa and Sendoh.
<Seven> It'll only be a matter of time...
<Black-cat> Second of all, my friend isn't my boyfriend.
<Seven> Again, it'll only be a matter of time. ^_~
<Black-cat> ...
<Seven> Anyway, let's change the subject since your attraction to Sendoh seems to be hurting you whenever I mention Rukawa's name.
<Black-cat> It's not like that!
<Seven> Yeah, yeah.. Anyway, what was your problem with your soccer player again?
<Black-cat> Uh, yeah... Just today, he was half-naked and I was near him. I... I...
<Seven> You wanted him.
<Black-cat> I think...
<Seven> Congratulations, my boy, you're growing up!
<Black-cat> *rolls eyes*
<Seven> Hehehe...
<Black-cat> Anyway, what'll I do? You know these things, right?
<Seven> Act natural. If it happens, it happens.
<Black-cat> I don't know how to make it happen.
<Seven> Spend lots of time with him. Eventually, an opportunity comes up. If you see your chance, take it!
<Black-cat> Chance for what?
<Seven> Chance to bag your soccer player of course!
<Black-cat> Er, that's the problem...
<Seven> What is?
<Black-cat> I know nothing about initiating something or at least responding.
<Seven> *shakes head* Learn. Read yaoi magazines, mangas, sites. Educate yourself on what to do.
<Black-cat> I guess...
<Seven> Oh and if you want to learn from a pro, you just ask me.
<Black-cat> You never slept with a guy before though...
<Seven> Oh yeah... Anyway, we could always learn together! I don't know how to sleep with a guy too, you know. One of these days, let's try cybering after learning more about how it works. You agree to that?
<Black-cat> Huh? Well...
<Seven> What? You want to learn it with someone else? And you can't just go to have sex unprepared, you know!
<Black-cat> I guess...
<Seven> Well, alright then, let's cyber in the future. Til then, I think it's late. Let's talk again another night.
<Black-cat> Oh wait!
<Seven> Huh?
<Black-cat> Since you found me on that certain chatroom, do you often go to Siren?
<Seven> I'll go tomorrow with friends... Why? Are you going too?
<Black-cat> Maybe.
<Seven> Going with your soccer friend? That'll be your chance! ^_~
<Black-cat> ...
<Seven> Hehehe... Anyway, you wanna meet?
<Black-cat> Er...
<Seven> That's okay. We could meet once we're really at ease with each other. By then, you'd have your soccer boyfriend to guard you well against the god of wood that is me.
<Black-cat> *rolls eyes*
<Seven> Heh, nice talking to you again. You really are very interesting. The time we meet, we set up a Sendoh/Rukawa fan club, alright?
<Black-cat> ...
<Seven> I gotta go. I had fun! Bye!
*Seven left the chatroom*

***

The morning air warm, the open window of the kitchen welcoming it in. It poured on through to ruffle his spiked hair as he sat at the stool before the counter, munching on toast. Coffee was just boiling in the maker and the bacon and eggs were just being cooked by his lovable elder sister. Sendoh blinked his eyes lazily, a bit sleepy still from chatting last night. The unusual autumn warmth and the golden glow of the atmosphere... If there wasn't any school today, he would have overslept again. Fortunately for him, this morning, Fuji was there to wake him. It had been a nightmare before just to wake especially in the basketball tournament. At that time, his parents were off to Tokyo to visit his elder brother while Fuji had been scouting for prospects to study college in. It was only this new semester when she entered college and funnily enough, she'd ended up back here in Kanagawa.

"No practice this morning?" Fuji asked, a yawn escaping her lips. She looked as bored as Sendoh as she had only two classes today - both in the afternoon. Blinking down at the fying pan, she noticed that the bacon was cooked. She turned the heat off from the stove and placed bacon on both the ready plates in the counter. Done with that, she handed one of the dishes to her younger brother.

"Thanks, 'neechan." Sendoh smiled upon the dish placed before him. "And no, I'm not practicing this morning. The one later would be enough for the day... We have one later on in the afternoon. I think that'll be a long practice. Coach Taoka hadn't been tough these past few months since it's the off season."

"You excited?"

"About what?"

"About Kaede-kun joining us for the evening." There was a teasing glint in her eyes.

"Hah, what do you think, 'neechan?" Sendoh grinned, rubbing the back of his head. Fuji had always known most of the things in his life. Growing up, they were closest to each other. When he first noticed his attraction towards males, she too had known. It had all started with Koshino. The little cuss had interested him and he looked at him often enough. He was stopped completely from his attraction as Koshino found his first girlfriend. Since Koshino was obviously happy, he was too so he hadn't bothered trying to start a relationship with him. He'd started dating girls again after that, one, two and three... And then Rukawa had come back with a black eye from the international competition, severely and intentionally injured by a rough player from Toyotama High. From what he'd heard, the player's name was Minami, and that person had wanted to take Rukawa out permanently. When he'd learned of it, he looked at Rukawa at a different manner as he realized that he cared enough for Rukawa to seek out friendship from him. The longer they played together, the more that he had gotten to know about the silent boy. Rukawa wasn't really a cold person, just misunderstood. Behind his preferred lonership and cold demeanour, there was something else. It interested Sendoh enough. And since Rukawa was in no way interested in any female, he knew he had his chance. The attraction had developed gradually and now, he knew definitely, without hesitation, that he wanted him.

<Why? How to be attracted to one as cold as Rukawa Kaede?>

Other students would perhaps be confused as to how he was attracted so severely to the ice kid. After all, they'd only see what was outside and nothing else. They saw Rukawa as someone highly attractive in the physical sense. Ice blue eyes set on a pale porcelain face. Tall and slender and moving with a grace that could rival any woman's. Elegant and with a deep mystery that inspired that he had a dark aura that could easily seduce...

There was more though. Beyond those things, Sendoh had found a person. He noticed Rukawa - who he truly was. He had been attracted more to that person. To the little things that no one else knew of...

Rukawa living alone but managing to live up to high standards with how clean his place was. The fact that he can cook up a storm, something rare in teenage boys. The way that it was so hard for him to smile but when he did even in the tiniest, most microscopic smile ever, it was enough to make him believe he was in front of heaven's gate. The way that a dream can make Rukawa the best he could be in his chosen field. The way -

"Oh boy, he's lost." Fuji muttered, huffing to herself in amusement.

"Eh? What is it, 'neechan?" Sendoh asked with a clueless grin on his face.

"Thinking about him, weren't you?" she asked in a curious tone, as she ate her meal.

"As usual..." Sendoh sighed, a dreamy smile on his face as he leaned his face in his hand, looking blankly ahead of him.

"Why don't you just tell the boy, for Kanagawa's sake? I think he likes you too, you know. And finally, yesterday, he had said that he was 'not interested in women'. I think that's a sign, Akira. A way for him to say he's ready for you."

"It's not that simple... between two guys... Maybe one of these days though. Maybe..."

She rolled her eyes, obviously annoyed. "Anyway, you said you chatted with that mystery person again, didn't you? What'd he say this time?"

"Oh yeah. He gets more interesting as time goes by. I found something really valuable last night."

"And that is?"

"It turns out that that person has a crush on me." Sendoh laughed.

"Eh?" Fuji looked up from her plate, eyes wide. "Wow, that's really coincidental, isn't it? And suddenly you have your first known male admirer. What school is he from?"

"He said Ryonan... I doubt it though. He could be from anywhere. I guess I have to be more perceptive of people around me. He said he's going to Siren tonight too."

"Don't worry, ototo. I'll be on the lookout on whoever who would be looking at you."

"Heh, thanks..."

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