Just a random list I've always gotten a kick out of. It too often proves itself true...

1. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (especially those bows) next year.
2. You only buy Christmas paper after Christmas, when they are 51% off.
3. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in a room of a child or adult who has moved out.
4. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
5. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
6. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
7. You have stuff in the freezer that's been there since the beginning of time.
8. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
9. You have never used your dishwasher.
10. You keep a thermos of hot-water available at all times.
11. You boil hot-water and put it in the kitchen.
12. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
13. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
14. You save grocery bags to hold garbage.
15. You always leave your shoes at the door.
16. You have a piano in your living room.
17. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
18. You iron your own shirts.
19. You play a musical instrument.
20. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).
21. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
22. You hate to waste food:
          a. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
          b. You have tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice and a leftover chicken wing.
23. You don't have any real "Tupperware" . . . only a cupboard full of used, but carefully rinsed, margarine tubs, take out containers, and jam jars.
24. You also use jam jars as drinking glasses.
25. You've eaten a redbean popsicle.
26. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit other people's homes.
27. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
28. The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic pakets which you save/steal every time you go to McDonald's.
29. Ditto paper napkins.
30. You never order room service.
31. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
          a. Travel snacks are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger, and beef/pork jerky, but also cuttlefish (squid.)
32. You own a rice cooker.
33. You wash your rice 2-3 times before cooking it.
34. You spit bones and other food scraps onto the table (that's why you need a vinyl tablecloth).
35. Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of Gold Coin oranges that thier guests just brought to be courteous.
36. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
37. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
38. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine, or law.
39. You always shop at a local Chinese market.
40. You live with your parents, and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way).
41. You don't use measuring cups.
42. You feel like you have gotten a good deal if you don't pay tax.
43. You beat eggs with chopsticks. They do a better job than forks.
44. Your parents' house is always cold.
45. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
46. You reuse teabags.
47. You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don't write anymore.
48. If you're under the age of 20, you own a really expensive Walkman; if you're over the age of 20, you own a really expensive camera.
49. Your mom drives her Mercedes to the Price Club.
50. You always look up numbers in the phonebook since calling information costs 50 cents.
51. You tip Chinese waiters more.
52. You're a wok user.
53. You only make long distance calls after 11 pm.
54. You know all the waiters at your favorite Chinese restaurant.
55. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed version.
          a. You love Chinese martial arts films.
          b. Shao Lin and Wu Tang actually mean something to you.
56. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
57. You like congee (jook) with thousand-year eggs.
58. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached . . . means they're fresh.
59. You never call your parents to say 'hi.'
60. You always cook too much.
61. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten even if it's midnight.
62. Also, if you don't live at home, your parents always want you to come home.
63. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick.
64. When you're sick, they also tell you not to eat fried or baked foods because they produce hot air ('yeet hay' in Catonese).
65. You email your Chinese friends at work, even though you only site 10 feet apart.
66. Your parents never go to the movies.
67. Your parents send money to their relatives in China.
68. You use a face cloth.
69. Your parents use a clothesline.
70. You're always late.
71. You eat every last rice grain in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
72. You starve yourself before going to all-you-can-eat sushi.
73. You've joined a CD club.
74. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewlry or electronics.
75. You never discuss your love life with your parents.
76. Your parents are never happy with your grades.
77. You save your old "coke bottle glasses" even though you're never going to use them again.
78. You keep used batteries.
79. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
80. You keep most of your money in a savings account.
81. You know what MJ means.
82. You've been on the love boat or know someone who has.
83. It's perfetly normal to eat a huge meal at midnight (da nang).
84. Other people phone their grandparents to say hi . . . we just go downstairs.
85. Your car is solid white.
86. Your car is solid white with an "NKS" sticker on the back.
87. One pint of beer is either way too much, or your face turns all red.
88. As opposed to white parents, you can tell right away who is Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc.
89. Other people talk way too softly.
90. You have bars on your windows.
91. Certain parts of your ceiling have carbon stains from all the incense your mother burn at Chinese New Year.
92. You have pictures of dead relatives in your kitchen (which, by the way, freaked you out as a kid).
93. Your parents to prove their wisdom, always say (translated from Cantonese): "I've eaten more salt than you've eaten rice."
94. Not only do you buy lots of toilet paper and store them, but when Safeway limits the number of rolls per customer, you bring other relatives.
95. It's perfectly normal to bring a bottle of Jonny Walker (Red Label, of course) to a restaurant.

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