Taylor pulled his car to a stop, and parked next to the curb. When he got out it was already getting dark, but it was still light enough to see, and he began to walk. He walked a few blocks from where he parked, and a black Ford Escort pulled up along side him. He continued walking; the window rolled down. He stopped. The black man inside leaned over and said, “Get in, Sweets.” Taylor looked around him briefly, and got into the car. It pulled away slowly.

“Why d’you call me that?” Taylor asked him.

“No offense or nothin’ man, but when I first saw you, you looked a little girlie,” he said. Taylor glared at him.

“Yeah? F**k you.” He said. “Did you get the stuff?” “Don’t I always?” He replied. “You got the money?” Taylor produced a wad of money and handed it to the black man. The black man pulled out a small bag, filled halfway with white dust. Taylor took it, and put it in the inside pocket of his jacket. He nodded to the man, and got out of the car. Hands in his pockets, and head down, he headed back to his car.

“Taylor?”

“Yeah it’s me, Dad.” He replied.

“It’s after one in the morning. Where the hell have you been?”

“Sorry.” He said. “I forgot about the time – I would’ve called to let you know I wasn’t going to be in ‘til late, but I wasn’t near a phone.” That wasn’t a complete lie.

“You have a cell phone.”

“Battery’s dead.” He said. That was a lie. “I’m going to bed. Night.” With that, he left his father standing there and went up to his room.

He closed his bedroom door extra quietly. He didn’t want to wake his brothers; it would only prove to be trouble. He took off his jacket and shoes. He reached into the inside pocket of his jean jacket and produced the small baggie with white powder in it. He laid his jacket down and went to his dresser. He opened the top drawer, reaching far into the back. He pulled out a small lockbox. He turned the little numbers to the right combination and opened it. Inside there was another small baggie, with barely any white powder left – maybe enough to pinch between your fingers. Taylor put the new baggie in the box and took out the old one. He set the box down on top of his dresser; he poured the contents left in the old baggie in a line on his forefinger. He carefully brought his hand up to his nose and quietly sniffed the line of white powder up his nose. He absently wiped his nose with the back of his finger. He tossed the empty baggie back in the box, closed it quietly, and also quietly, put the box back into the drawer, pushing it into the far back and pulling his clothes in front of it. He stripped off his tee shirt and jeans, and tossed them to the floor. Now only in his boxers, he climbed into his bed – his brothers remained undisturbed. He lay down and fell into a sleep full of fitful nightmares.

“Tay.” Ike said a little louder.

“What?” His reply was muffled by the pillow over his head.

“Get up. We have things to do. We’re supposed to go to the beach today.” Taylor groaned. “Come on, get up.”

“ALL RIGHT!” He shouted from under the pillow. He pushed it off of his head and sat up.

“Nice hair, princess.” Zac teased as he walked by. Taylor flipped him off. “Get your pretty ass out of bed. We’re leaving in half an hour.” Taylor proceeded to get out of bed and stretch. He scratched his stomach absently.

“Sh*t,” he muttered to himself, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He got himself clean clothes and went into the bathroom to shower. The whole time all the thought about was how he needed a little fix… He got out and dried himself off, got dressed, combed out his hair and brushed his teeth in less than twenty minutes. He went to the bedroom and it was completely empty. He leaned back and looked down the hall: all clear. He closed his bedroom door, went to his dresser, and fished out the lockbox. In less than thirty seconds he had it opened. Just a little, he told himself in his head. He took the baggie, poured very little powder on his finger and sniffed it up his nose. He closed the bag and put it back, locking the back and putting that also back in its place.

“You naked?” Zac’s head was peeked in the doorway, the door open a little.

“Funny.” Taylor said, not amused.

“Lighten up.” Zac replied. “Laugh, you know, like you used to. You better be in a better mood later; Zoë is so excited because you’re coming to the beach with us.”

“I will be,” he said, more to himself. “I’m just… not awake yet.”

“You taking your car or driving with Mom and Dad?”

“I don’t know yet… I think I’m gonna take my car.”

“Mind if I ride with you?” Taylor shook his head. “Thanks.”

“Tell Ike he can ride too if he wants.” Zac nodded, and headed out of the room. By the time they left a half an hour later, the small high Taylor had achieved was over; he was relatively back to “normal”. But he wasn’t leaving the house without having a fix to rely on later, and so packed a little for the road.

“Zoë,” he said, “let’s go see Mommy for a minute.” He took her little hand and walked up the beach with her to their mother.

“Mom, you’ve gotta take her for a minute.” He said.

“Why? Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he answered nonchalantly. “I just have to go to the bathroom.”

“OK. C’mere, Zoë.” He handed her to their mother, and started off for the bathroom.

He closed the stall door in the men’s room, and leaned back against the cold metal door. Sweat was dripping off of him. He felt his stomach lurch; he quickly moved forward and bent over the toilet, and threw-up. After a couple of minutes it subsided. He flushed the toilet, left the stall, and rinsed out his mouth. He splashed some cold water on his face – he was starting to feel better already.

Taylor came back to the beach perfectly okay to everyone around him, maybe a little better than when he left.

“Better?” His mom asked. He nodded. He looked over at Zoë, who was now busy making a sand castle, and smiled.

“Great.” He replied. “We haven’t done this in a while,” he said. “We should do it more often.”

“I agree,” she replied with a smile.

“Where’s Zac and Isaac?” She pointed out to the water.

“Swimming.” She answered.

“I’m gonna go catch up to them.” He said, and took off for the water.

He had to swim out a ways to reach them; they were horsing around on the diving platform that floated out on the deeper water. Isaac took notice of him first.

“Zoë all done swimming?” He asked Taylor.

“Yeah,” he replied, climbing up on the platform, and fixing his sunglasses. Zac grinned at him; Taylor seemed like he was in an exceptionally good mood all of a sudden. It could have been because of Zoë; the little girl adored him and could put him in a good mood like no one and nothing else could. The next thing Zac knew, Taylor was shoving him into the water. When he resurfaced, Taylor was still grinning up on the platform.

“Enjoy it while you can.” Zac said, grinning too. Ike came up behind Taylor, and he turned in time to see his older brother grab hold of him. He tossed Taylor easily into the water. It was Zac’s turn to laugh. When Taylor resurfaced, he looked around for his sunglasses – they were on the platform. He swam over and grabbed them, and put them back on.

“Why are those sunglasses so important today?” Zac asked him. “You act like you’re gonna die without them.” He grinned.

“My eyes are just sensitive to the sun today.” Taylor said, pushing his hair back. That wasn’t the real reason – and he knew it. But he was feeling to good to care about lying. He’d already used half of what he’d brought of his cocaine; it was in his duffle bag now, hidden away of course. He was going to need more before the week was up.

They stayed at the beach nearly all day. Although they didn’t know the real reason why, Taylor had said he needed to get home early; he had things to do tonight. They didn’t know he was going to call the man who got him drugs. Isaac and Zac stayed behind with the rest of their family. Zoë was the most disappointed that Taylor had to go early.

“I need to talk to Jazz.” Taylor said into the receiver. His voice almost sounded a little hoarse. “Tell him it’s T-uh, Jordan.” He said, ignoring his own mistake at nearly telling whomever it was that his name was Taylor. He waited a few minutes, maybe five or six.

“Yeah,” the voice on the other line said. “What’s up, Sweets?”

“First of all, stop calling me that.” Taylor said, very annoyed. “I have a f*cking name.”

“OK; sorry. What’s up, Jordan?”

“I need to meet with you.”

“You finished it already? Dude, you’re gonna kill yourself real f*cking quick if you’re usin’ that much.”

“No, I didn’t use it all. But I’m gonna need more by the end of the week.”

“OK… when d’you wanna meet?”

“Tonight.” Taylor said.

“I’m partyin’ tonight; if you want it you’re comin’ to get it.”

“What about Nate?”

“I guess I can send Nate. Same place?”

“Yeah. An hour?”

“He’ll be there,” Jazz said. “How much?”

“Same.” Taylor answered. “I’ll have the money.”

“ ‘Kay, Jordan. You know my number.”

“Yeah.” Taylor was about to hang up, but Jazz shouted his name and stopped him.

“Hey, there’s another party next Friday. There’s gonna be some good sh*t here… You can come if you want.”

“I’ll think about it.” Taylor replied.

“Right. See you next Friday, Jordy.” Jazz said.

“Yeah,” Taylor replied, and hung up. He couldn’t use anything before he left, too much of a risk. But he had every intention of staying out late.

“Go on to bed,” she told him. “I’m gonna stay up and wait for him.”

“He’s a big boy, and we both know he doesn’t have to call and tell us what time he’s coming home.” He said.

“I know that, too. But we’re his parents, and we worry. He’s just starting to stay out late all the time, and, well… he never used to before. So I worry.”

“If he’s not home by one, come to bed, okay?” Walker said to her. She nodded, and her husband kissed her goodnight.

“Taylor?” He turned around to face his father. “You’re mom waited up for you.”

“Sorry,” Taylor said. He stumbled a little up the stairs and started to laugh.

“Whoa,” his father said, steadying him. “Maybe you should take off the sunglasses.” His father pulled his sunglasses down. He could see that Taylor’s eyes didn’t look normal. He turned on the hall light, and looked back at Taylor. He took the sunglasses off of his son’s face – his pupils were dilated.

“Are you high?” Walked asked him. Taylor laughed a little again.

“No,” he replied. It certainly didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that he was lying. “You need some sleep, Dad.” He took his sunglasses back. “I’m going to bed.” He made his way up the stairs, and into his bedroom. Walker heard the door close.

Taylor successfully put the little baggie in the lockbox, and put it away before he woke up his brothers. He woke Isaac up first, then Zac.

“Taylor? What the hell are you doing?” Zac asked. “I’m trying to sleep here.”

“So. Get up, let’s do something.”

“It’s two in the morning, Taylor.” Ike said, annoyed.

“Such a baby,” Taylor muttered.

“Shut up and go to bed, Tay.” Zac said. Both boys jumped up when they heard Taylor fall. Taylor was laughing. Both of them got out of their beds.

“Is he drunk?” Zac asked Isaac. Ike flipped on the light, and both he and Zac squinted. Isaac helped Taylor up, looking at his eyes.

“He’s high…” Ike said with realization.

“What?” Zac replied, disbelievingly. He looked at Taylor and saw for himself. “Holy sh*t…”

“Are you crazy?” Isaac asked Taylor.

“Maybe…”

“Wow… he’s toasted, Ike.” Zac said.

“Yeah, no sh*t.” Isaac replied. “Come on,” he hauled Taylor all the way to his feet. Zac looked at Isaac.

“Pot?”

“Yep…” Taylor said.

“He doesn’t smell like it, but… that’s what he says. Let’s just try to keep Mom and Dad from finding out.”

“Too late.” Taylor said.

“What?” Ike replied.

“Dad knows,” said Taylor, and laughed a little.

“Great,” Zac said sarcastically.

“Let’s just get him to bed.”

“I’m not tired.”

“Too bad,” Isaac replied. “You’re going to bed.”

“If he hadn’t tripped up the stairs I wouldn’t have known it.” Walker said. “He was high.”

“I don’t understand. What would posses him to get high?”

“Friends. Whoever he was with was probably smoking pot, and he figured his should probably do it too.”

“What do we do? I mean there isn’t much we can do; he’s nineteen. It’s not like we can ground him, Walker.”

“Maybe not, but we can warn him. He’s never to come into this house like that again.”

“I won’t.” Taylor said, walking into the room. He knew they were going to want to talk, so he sat down at the kitchen table as well.

“Want to tell us why you did it in the first place?” His mother asked.

“Curiosity. I was with friends who were doing it, and I wanted to know what it was like,” he lied.

“And?” His father inquired.

“Nothing great,” he replied.

“Would you do it again?” He asked Taylor. He shrugged. “You have younger sisters and brothers that look up to you, and I don’t ever want them to see you like that. Are we understood?”

“Yes,” he answered, nodding once. “I swear.”

“Taylor, what the hell are you doing?” Isaac said quietly; Taylor shrugged his brother’s hands off of his shoulders.

“Don’t touch me,” he said. “Mind your own f*cking business.” Isaac stepped back, a little surprised. Taylor was blatantly mean. Isaac thought for a minute that Taylor was going to hit him, but he didn’t.

“Keep quiet,” Isaac said. “I won’t say anything to Mom and Dad.” Taylor made a noise that sounded either of surprise or pain, and his hand flew up to his face.

“Tay?”

“Get me a tissue…” Taylor said, his voice muffled by his hand. Isaac fumbled around for a moment, and then handed a tissue to Taylor. “Gimme a handful.” Isaac grabbed a handful of tissues and handed them to his brother. He pulled Taylor over to a corner of the room and turned on a small lamp.

“Jesus, Tay…” He had a bloody nose, and a pretty bad one at that.

“I’ll be fine.” He said.

“Did you get hit…?”

“No. I’ll be fine.” He repeated.

“Taylor, it’s only pot… right?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” Isaac wasn’t sure he could take Taylor’s word, but he kept his secret anyway. And every single night Taylor came home high, Zac was awake as well as Isaac… and they both kept his secret.