My First Convention: Animazement '99

I was expecting the worst. Having never been to any kind of convention before, I had only the word of my boyfriend as to what it was like. He, having been to many in the past, chose to regale me with tales of chain and leather-clad fangirls and butt-grabbing Pikachus (gotta pinch 'em all!). Therefore, upon walking into the lobby of the Raleigh Hilton, I was shocked to discover that no one was carrying a bokken (though not for lack of trying, I later discovered), no one was dressed as a giant Pikachu or even a giant robot, and no one was dressed illegally. Yet.

Still, I was not terribly comfortable wandering the Hilton in search of my boyfriend, who was somewhere in a room helping eager fans sign up for that night's cosplay. (Fear it!) But then I followed Queen Emeraldas across the lobby of the hotel and caught the dazed, slightly frightened expressions of the Normal People, gazing in bewilderment as people with foam wigs several feet long wandered past them. "We're scaring the straights," I realized. And at that moment, I was filled with a sense of slightly malicious glee. At that precise instant of time, gentle reader, the Holy Ghost of Fandom descended upon me, and I became One with the Con.

From that moment on, nothing could faze me. My boyfriend had come down with the plague and had to abandon everything to attempt sleep in the communal hotel room. The dealers didn't have any Utena figures. I had missed the Lupin movie. But it was ok. I found other stuff to spend money on. I watched Trigun and bits of Macross 7 Dynamite (Listen to my song, you space whales!). And the cosplay offered endless opportunities for mockery.

Will I go to another convention ever again? Try to keep me away, baby. Nothing else offers better opportunities for you to mock other people for dressing up as Go-kun while you lug around Kenshin wallscrolls and talking stuffed Pokemons and Sailor Moon backpacks. Nothing else offers the ten-minute long incomprehensible Ranma Skit of Doom, the Naga Laugh Contest, and the unofficial Are They of Legal Age? guessing game. And nothing else offers the Screeching Fushigi Yuugi Fangirls, who can shatter glass from a thousand feet away. (I only wish I HAD been a thousand feet away.) Watch out, anime cons! Next year I'm coming as a giant Gubaba!

Thanks go out to my boyfriend Phil, for making me go, and to COUP, the greatest anime club in the history of time. Zettai Unmei Mokushiroku!

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