Me am Otaku

-or-

Even Fangirls Get the Blues

So, you wonder whether or not you're a true fangirl? You feel somehow inadequate when you're at a con, surrounded by girls dressed as Sailor Underage? You've had the following conversation a dozen times this week?

"I'm not a fangirl."
"And how late were you up reading shonen ai fanfic on the net?"
"Well, yeah, but I'm not a fangirl."

You can't be a real fangirl, right? You don't have an inflatable Kenshin doll or a Sailor Moon tattoo. You haven't built a Lego replica of the Queen Emeraldas. Your scream can't shatter glass from thirty feet away.

Well, I have news for you. Just because you don't have Saitoh posters glued to the ceiling over your bed doesn't mean you're not a fangirl. The fact that you've read this far and understood half of what I've said indicates that you probably are a fangirl. But in case you're still not sure, check the following list of questions:

Have you ever affixed a Japanese suffix to anyone's name? Especially -chan?
Do you know the plots of TV episodes you've never watched?
Do you know what 'yaoi' is?
Do you like it?
Do you know what 'mina' means?
Have you ever even briefly considered putting an anime character on your computer desktop?
Do you 'get' Blood of Dawn?
Do you attempt to explain anime shows to people who have never watched anime and don't care?
Do you know the HECTO lyrics to 'Sobakasu' (the Kenshin opening theme)?
Have you ever been to a convention?
Have you ever willingly watched more than one fan-made music video?
Have you ever accidentally added 'de gozaru' or 'no da' to any sentence?
Have you ever proclaimed your willingness to revolutionize the world?
Do you own at least one anime 'thing' - poster, keychain, whatever - that you purchased yourself?
When you see pollen, do you scream 'SPORES!' and frantically search for a torch?
Have you willingly been to more than one COUP meeting?

I fully believe that if you answer any one of these questions yes, you're a fangirl. No matter how much you might want to deny it, you have succumbed. Don't fight it. Surrender to the inevitable. Plaster your walls with bishounen joy; pledge allegiance to the Great Tyrant of GLOCK. Join your sisters with pride! Lift up your voice and say, "Yes, I too am otaku!"

Don't forget to practice your scream.

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