Remember, old folks are worth a fortune, with silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet, and gas in their stomachs.
I have become a little older now and a few changes have come into my life. Frankly, I have become quite a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, WILL POWER helps me get out of bed. Then I go down the hall and see JOHN.
Next, CHARLIE HORSE comes along and takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves ARTHUR RITIS shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.
After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to relax with BEN GAY.
What a life! The preacher came to visit me the other day. He said, at my age, I should be thinking about "the hereafter."
I told him, "Oh, I do, all the time! No matter where I am ... in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen or down in the basement ... I ask myself, "NOW, WHAT AM I HERE AFTER?"
~ Author Unknown ~
Dear - I forgot your name !
Many thanks for your note received yesterday.
My letter to you will shock you! I am never lonely anymore for I have four men in my life now. Because we are such close friends, please keep this confidential.
I get up each morning with Charley Horse, and spend all day with Arthur Ritis. I dine with Will Power and go to bed with Ben Gay.
Everything Is so much farther away now than it used to be. It is twice as far to the corner store now than it used to be. And they have added a hill, I noticed.
I have given up running for the bus. I can never catch the damn thing anymore; it leaves much faster than it used to. Also, I swear they're making stairs much steeper than in the good old days
By the way have you noticed how much smaller the print they are using in the newspaper now? And there is no sense asking people to read aloud to me; as everyone speaks in such a low voice, I can hardly hear them.
The material in clothes is so skimpy now, especially around the hips and waist. It's almost impossible to reach my shoe laces. The sizes of clothing don't run the way they used to; everything is so much smaller.
Even people are changing; they are much younger than they used to be when I was their age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am!
I ran into an old friend of ours the other day. Remember - oh dear, I forgot her name. She has aged so much she didn't even recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning and in so doing I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. You know, they don't even make good mirrors like they used to.
Do have a good day, dear.
Love,
Me
It Couldn't Be Better
My Face In The Mirror
Isn't Wrinkled or Drawn
My house Isn't Dirty
The Cobwebs are Gone
My Garden Looks Lovely
And So Does My Lawn
I think I might Never
Put My Glasses Back On
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