Back to Episode MenuBlack Widower
Episode number: 8F20
Blackboard Gag: Funny Noises Are Not Funny
Couch gag: The family rush in; thieves are stealing the couch. The Family sit down anyway, and are thrown off.
Distinctive Because: Bob's first attempted murder - a memorable milestone for any supervillain.
Why Bob Gets Out: he proves he is a lovely person by getting a girlfriend.
How it All Begins: Selma has a new boyfriend. To the Simpsons' horror it turns out to be Sideshow Bob.
And Then: Bob proposes to Selma and she accepts. She lets slip that she has lots of money.
Next: They get married, but Bart is suspicious of his new uncle's motives.
The End: Bart realises the plan and saves Selma in the nick of time before she is blown up. Bob is arrested.
Bob's Appearance: slimmed down by the prison regime; trademark hair; normal person's clothes but with exceptionally large feet.
Anything Else of Note: poor Bob suffers from dry lips in prison
Quotes:
*"Although kissing you would be like kissing some divine ash tray, that's not what I had in mind"
*"This is lying: that was a well-plotted piece of non-claptrap that never made me want to retch"
*"Bart here is the Seamus in short pants who sent me to prison"
*"You are forgetting the two noble truths of the Bhudda... One - existence is suffering. Two - the cause of suffering is desire. In this case, my desire to do quality children's programming"
*"When I was nominated for the best supporting children's performer at the daytime Emmies, my bitterness ruined what should have been a memorable occasion"
*"This is one more Emmy than you'll ever win, you bantering Jack-in-the-box"
*"If I'd wanted to kill you, Bart, I'd have choked you like a chicken as soon as I'd come in the door. But then what kind of a guest would I be?"
*"Kismet can be kind as well as cruel"
*"Dear Selma, your latest letter set off a riot in the maximum security wing of my heart"
*"Like the lone orchid that blossoms in the prison yard, our love bloomed despite all obstacles"
*"Patty:"He's a once in lifetime catch!" Bob:"Yes, I hope the police are sying that too."
*"You seized the wheel of my slowboat to hell and pointed it straight to the sunny shores of Selma"
*"I just hope people don't think I'm marrying you for your money instead of your... less tangible qualities"
*"Ah, fire. Scourge of Prometheus, toaster of marshmellows, eradicator of dead wood"
*"Even murder has its ugly side"
*"Poor Selma. You were having such a lovely time. Then I have to spoil it all by doing something stupid like explode you..."
*"I'll be back! You can't keep the Democrats out of the Whitehouse forever, and when they get in, I'm back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies!"
*"Do you know what prison is like for a lifetime conservative republican? In our cramped prison cell we became little more than animals. [flashback] Who used my chapstick?"
*"This wedding's spinning out of control. Can we really afford it? I've already run through eight of the ten dollars they gave me when I left prison"
*"Forty-one years ago God took 168 pounds of clay and he made me a woman. And for this I thank him"
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