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March 19, 1995
growing and growing during the past days and weeks. In absolute desperation as he walked out, saying that I had accused him of wanting contention by saying I didn't want it, I prayed. I prayed for help. More than that-I had realized and getting out of my pride, that it wasn't help I needed, I had done all that I could do, and I felt that I could do no more. I cried. I prayed with all the humility and faith I could find. I know he *could* ^can^ do all things. He helped me - Elder Stoddard came in the room and was talking with Elder Steel for awhile. I heard Elder Steel say, loudly and rudely that "If he doesn't finish in one minute, we'll know he doesn't want to do this." Whatever it was; I decided to finish my prayer. I threw myself from my bed and-ranted+raved-about how I felt I could do no more; that I didn't know what I was doing, and cried some more. Once I quieted myself, the four of us had a talk - Elder Stoddard, Elder Thornton, Elder Steel and myself. During the course of the talk, which was focused a lot on me; Elder Steel said he had said some stupid things that he was sorry for, and I admitted that it did bother me that he had come on a mission without even having read the Book of Mormon--and expressed my appreciation for how he had read it since arriving here, and had started desiring to and learning the gospel. I had a good deal of adrenalin that night as well. I realized how difficult it is for me to point out things in others that bother me. Anyway, I don't know how it happened, but after 20 minutes, Elder Steel and I hugged each other-for the first time in over seven weeks. I don't know the manner that it happened, but I do know that the Lord answered my prayers that night. I only remember one other time-at Blueberry-that it happened so immediately; and that was a group prayer. I have not had any problems with Elder Steel for two days now. I love Elder Steel, and I'm grateful that he's my companion, and for the things I've learned from him. Even more-I love my Heavenly Father, + I'm grateful for what I've learned from Him. *about i* I learned that sincere prayer- with faith and humility, makes miracles happen. I know that my Father in Heaven loves me.
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