In compiling "The Teenage UFO Psycho Sex Monster Show," Johnny Legend may have created the worst date movie ever, unless your idea of a date is reading R. Crumb comics and collecting kitsch from abandoned movie houses.
But even this misstates the simple yet starkly odd nature of "Sex Monster Show." It is not a movie, and can only be called a film in that it can be fed through a projector. What it is is a careful splicing together of a collection of old movie trailers that Legend has collected through his life of B to Z movies ranging from the delightfully bad (Tromafilms' "Surf Nazis Must Die") to horrendously bad (Ed Wood's stinker, "Glen or Glenda.") Adding to the sense of kitsch, there was no digital editing - all of the film is from the original trailer, and is of poor quality in parts, and may break upon repeated showings.
It is hard to devise any sort of life lessons from this compilation, though it is a wonderful conversation piece. Motifs of the selections seem to include movies that play on the "squares" fear of youth and wild behavior ("Witness hopped-up kids in souped-up cars!") and men's fear and loathing of the allure of women. Indeed, in many of these films, sexual assault is taken as a virtuous act. ("When he wants chicks, he takes them, and they like it!" reads one memorable line.) This may not be a mistake, as Legend, a rockabilly musician who looks like a lost member of ZZ Top, has declared himself a "devout feminist."
This is a work in progress, though, and any message is lost in contradictions (the second half devolves into soft-core pornography) and a sense of delight in gut-wrenching tortured locutions and cinematography of trailers throughout the years. If you're looking for a plot, stay far away from this offering, but if you've been looking everywhere for the trailer to "Angels From Hell" ("From the producer of 'Hells Angels on Wheels!'"), then this is for you.

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