THE NET OR HOUSEWORK ?

I was reading a newspaper last week mentioning how all these people are 'Net addicts', 
neglect their 'Normal' lives and prefer their 'Fake Internet Lives' ! I found that very 
amusing ! I mean.....who wants to do housework and suchlike anyhow ?!? Of course, I spend 
quite a lot of time on the net myself.....but hey ! I'm not addicted ! ##shakes## 
'Oooooooooo I've been off of the internet all day...... give me my fix ! OOOOOOO I can't 
afford it - got to go out and rob someone to get online to chat with my friends about my 
millionaire lifestyle in the most exclusive area in England ( where I really live a normal, 
boring life ) and how I am TTTHHHHHHEEEEEEE most hunky guy in the world, I mean, I'm a 
Chippendale ( Not really a spotty 12 yr old who has not bothered to do his homework !)' 
I mean, these people are crazy ! I have to admit, my name is really Gary - and before you 
guys and gals ask - NOOOOOOOOO !!! NONONONO ! I wasn't describing myself as a spotty 12 yr 
old !!!! I am a normal, dog tired, hard worker who is 24 years old ! 

I read this feature in the newspaper - it had a questionaire to see how the internet 
affects you - if you are a casual, medium,heavy user or NEEEETTTTTTTTTT ADDDIICCCCTTTT ! Try, 
Try, TRY as I might - I couldn't do it ! I COULDN'T GET FULL MARKS AND BE CLASSIFIED AS A 
NET ADDICT ! Man ! I was despondent ! BUT, I can tell you lot now that someone I know got 
100% ! (###ouch### please ! Not the the pain-stick ! oooo ! I beg you ! I beg for your 
forgivness ! I know that you are being kept from the internet and are suffering from withdrawal
...... but plleeaassee ?)

So then - Net Addiction. Just imagine if you were told to go to the Doctor to try to help 
you overcome your addiction. He/She would say 'What the HELL is the internet ???? Is it 
something to do with fishing ?' - cos I can tell you, my Doctor is no George Clooney or 
Christine Lahti ! He's about 60 odd years old ! Most of the Doctors where I live are of 
a similar age ! Just think if I was addicted.... I would be told to give up fishing and 
meditate or something ! 

The last word on the subject - try this fool-proof test out, you'll soon discover if you 
area net addict or not ! Sit down with a strong cup of coffee in front of you on one side and 
your computer on the other side - what would you go for first ? Caffine or computer....
Caffine or computer.......? If you pick the coffee up, you are a caffine addict. If you pick 
the computer,you are not thirsty at the moment or the coffee is too hot or you've just 
heard the 'You've Got mail' sound ! Here's that test now....

THE CINEMA, THE GIRL AND 'TERMINATOR 2'

Let me tell you all something embarrassing..... the last film that I went to see in the 
cinema was Tim Burton's 
'Batman' a good few years ago ! (And that is the truth ! I was about 15 at the time !) Is 
it because that I don't feel inspired to see any recent movies or because the local cinema 
is a dump and I can't be bothered travelling another 15 miles or so to get to the next 
cinema ? The second choice ! ( Well, I don't drive and the public transport in my area is 
TERRIBLE !) And, maybe the first choice too ! A few years back, a former girlfriend said to 
me 'Shall we go and see the limited re-release of 'GHOST' in the cinema ?' I said 
'Weeeeellll I don't really like pottery movies !' Well, actually my reply was 'What, in 
the local cinema ?' and I said maybe we could rent the video instead, but the video was out 
and we watched 'Terminator 2' instead. Well the sad part of the story was that a couple of 
weeks later, the relationship broke down and we went our seperate ways. If there was a 
better cinema in my area, I'm sure it wouldn't have ended in the way it did. We would have 
gone to see 'GHOST' and we would have furthered our relationship ( we could have then held 
hands afterwards ! FIRST BASE !) and I probably wouldn't have had time to take up ice 
hockey and have had those  weird experiences of the female-kind there (DON'T ASK ! 
TOO LONG A STORY !) and then give up ice hockey ! 

Anyway, the moral of the story is - if you don't live near a decent cinema, move ! Or it 
will affect all of your future relationships !

Well, I think that this is enough for the moment ! I will return soon ! 

    Source: geocities.com/ryandalion13th