Author: Jasmine Flame, AKA Mirai. All flames can be directed to jasmine_flame@hotmail.com

Rating: M. Ooo look at the rating jump!

Pairings: Ryuichi x Shuichi

Notes: I have just realized I am a complete psychopath! How could I do that too them?! I don’t actually see this happening, but I don’t see the whole thing happening, so I may as well go all out on the OOC-ness and AUish-ness. I PROMISE I’ll make up for my evil ways in the next chapter. Oh well…I guess all the Shu x Ryu fans will be happy *sweatdrops*

Misread Circumstances

“Ryuichi! Please stop!” Shuichi cried. He was getting frightened now. He’d been chasing Ryuichi for a block now and they’d taken some pretty stupid chances across roads so far.

“Please! I don’t want to see you hurt!” Shuichi cried louder. Ryuichi slowed and finally stopped, leaning against the wall, panting heavily.

Shuichi didn’t slow his pace until he was a couple steps away from Ryuichi. He didn’t come any closer, but he could tell he was crying. The way his shoulders heaved every so often was a sure give away.

“It’s not fair y’know Shuichi?” Ryuichi asked and pounding his fist against the wall.

Shuichi clenched his fists with a frown. He didn’t want to be the cause of this. Not him. He was so…insignificant.

“Ryuichi…please…”

Ryuichi looked up, his eyes red from crying and blotchy tears running down his cheeks.

“You don’t care. No one cares!”

“Wait…I do care. People care about you Ryuichi. Everyone loves you.”

Ryuichi smirked and Shuichi cringed. He looked…scary.

“They all love me do they? Yeah, everyone loves me. Sakuma Ryuichi, Nittle Grasper, NG, they love us all. Fame sucks Shuichi? Did you know that? Sure, now it seems great but it dies pretty fast until one day no one cares about you anymore and you end up doing commercials for some stupid new product on the market.”

“Ryuichi…”

“Don’t bother,” Ryuichi said and turned away. Shuichi’s eyes went wide and he flung himself at Ryuichi, clinging to his back.

“I care! I do! I care! Don’t say that I don’t care Ryuichi. I do! I can’t give you what you want, but I can be you’re friend.”

Ryuichi didn’t move for a moment until he grabbed Shuichi’s wrists and pulled them free. He dropped them just as promptly and started to walk.

“Ryuichi! Don’t you dare move another step!” Shuichi yelled angrily. Ryuichi stopped and Shuichi stormed over.

His hand shot out and he grabbed Ryuichi’s wrist, pulling him closer.

“That is not true. People care about you.”

“Show me!”

Shuichi had had enough. He could barely believe what Ryuichi was saying. What had snapped? This was not the genki Sakuma Ryuichi they all loved. This was…some evil body snatching alien like the ones on those cheesy American films.

He frowned and took Ryuichi’s other hand before leaning up and kissing him. It was nothing special or barely even notable. He knew it was wrong but he was out of ideas.

Shuichi pulled back, “I’ll show you…how much I care. But…it won’t mean what you want it to. It never will…not while I’m with Yuki.”

Ryuichi obviously didn’t hear, or didn’t care what Shuichi was saying anymore. He grabbed Shuichi and pressed him against the wall, kissing him passionately.

Shuichi closed his eyes. God, he shouldn’t be doing this. Cheating on Yuki…he was going to cheat on the only person he’d ever been in love with. He couldn’t leave Sakuma-san though and as much as it was wrong, he felt that somehow, he had to do this. Ryuichi was the driving force behind his entire career, perhaps, life. Nittle Grasper was the band to inspire him to form a band of his own, and without Ryuichi on the night of their first concert, they probably wouldn’t be where they were today.

Yuki didn’t have to know…

Yuki didn’t have to know anything.

Shuichi splashed water on his face, trying to wash away how he felt. Terrible…disgusted with himself. Dirty.

Of course, he didn’t mean that Ryuichi had anything to do with that. He’d been the one to agree to this. He’d brought it up. He was the guilty one. Ryuichi would never force himself upon him.

Shuichi pulled his shirt on and turned around. Ryuichi was still lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling absently.

“I told you it wouldn’t mean what you wanted it to,” Shuichi said quietly. Ryuichi didn’t look over.

Shuichi sighed and picked up his jacket, “I’m leaving. I’m going home to Yuki. Please don’t say—”

“I won’t.”

“Thank you…” Shuichi mumbled before leaving the room. How could he look at Yuki again without feeling guilty? Without knowing he’d done something terribly, disgustingly, wrong?

Dammit, of course Yuki was going to find out. They always did, didn’t they? Eventually. It showed eventually.

‘I can’t lie,’ Shuichi thought. Yuki had been able to distract him long enough so that his mind didn’t wander to the kiss, but this was much bigger and much worse.

He had to get out of here though. Quickly. So he left.

He had absolutely no idea where he was going, but he couldn’t bring himself to go back to Yuki. Not until he’d been able to bring himself into some sort of order. Something that wouldn’t scream ‘I just slept with Sakuma Ryuichi!’

Shuichi stumbled outside into the dark of the night. He didn’t want to sleep at Ryuichi’s, not even on the couch. He’d had to get out as fast as possible. It must be at least 2 or 3 now though.

He pulled his coat tighter and stumbled down the sidewalk, barely aware of anything happening around him. He must’ve walked about two blocks before he couldn’t go any further. His legs gave way and he fall against the wall, sliding to the ground in a pile, sobbing loudly to himself.

Out of the few passers by, no one stopped.