Cindy sighed as her restful silence was shattered by the ringing phone.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Cindy Charming?” said a high, squeaky voice dripping with long hours spent lounging in mud puddles.
“Yes. Can I help you?”
“This is Fred Pig. You have to come out here. My brother’s dead.”
“Your brother--what?” Her annoyance at this intrusion on her quiet time was quickly vanishing.
“My brother, Andy, has been murdered. Can you come investigate?”
“I’ll be there soon.”
“Thanks. I’ll be waiting.”
Cindy placed the phone back on the hook. She was beginning to regret having taken up detective work. Life had been good for several years, but then Prince Charming decided he couldn’t take the pressures of running a kingdom and ran away. Since she wasn’t direct blood to the throne, she had to take up some sort of work for the castle to keep living there. That meant she either become the castle’s chief detective or go back to her step-family and begin sweeping and sewing for them again. It was the lesser of two evils.
“What am I to do?” she wondered aloud.
“Madame Charming?”
She looked up as the smartest of the seven dwarves entered. “Yes, Doc?”
“The king’s men have sent news. Your friend, um, you know, the egg guy?”
“Humpty Dumpty?”
“Yeah, Humpty. Well, they just reported that they found him dead. He fell off a wall and busted to pieces. No one could put him back together.”
“Oh, no, not Humpty.” She fondly recalled curious stares she got in college as she took evening walks in the park with a giant egg. How she longed for those times again. “This day is turning out to be awful.”
“There’s more, ma’am. When they found him, they only found a shell. There was nothing inside him, no egg or anything.”
“You mean, Humpty was empty? Are they sure it wasn’t a fake shell, set up to have us think Humpty was dead?”
“No, madam,” he shook his head. “They’re certain it’s the real Humpty’s shell. They suspect murder. Captain Hook was our first suspect, but when questioned, we found he was vacationing on Treasure Island, and his entire crew was with him.”
“Well, Humpty’s not the only one dead. One of the three little pigs, Andy, has been reported murdered. I was about to go out there and investigate.”
“Do you think the two deaths are related?”
“Hard to say yet. I’ll know more by the time I get back.”
“I’ll inform the king,” he said, racing off down the hall.
The front door was already being opened as she pulled up in front of Fred’s house. A pig wearing an apron reading “Kiss the Cook” came running out holding an egg beater. The air held the salty scent of blood that she had known so many times before. Andy must have been killed nearby.
“Cindy, I’m glad you’re here, but you’re too late. Suzie’s dead now, too.”
“Your sister?”
“Yes, but this time I think I saw who did it.”
“Well, spit it out.”
“They were far away, near the woods, but I could tell the killer had a lot of hair. I think it was Goldilocks. I mean, she has a track record already, especially after breaking into the Bear’s house, eating all their food, and breaking their furniture. I think she may be after me next.”
“But why would Goldi want to kill your sister?”
“I don’t know, but I’m sure it was her. And I’ll bet she killed Andy, too.”
“Well, that gives me a place to work from. I’ll check out Goldi. Wait here and lock up just in case. I’ll call you later.”
“Okay. Thanks, Cindy.”
As Cindy got in her carriage to head back to the castle, she mused a bit on the recent deaths. Why would anyone want to kill harmless eggs or pigs? What had they done to anyone? They were good to eat, but these were people. She was still no closer to answers as she pulled up at the castle gate and saw a girl wearing a red, hooded cloak and carrying a basket talking to Doc.
“Ah, Cindy,” said Doc, as Cindy approached, “I think we have a lead on the killer. This is Little Red Riding Hood. She claims she saw someone kill the pig.”
“Which one? I just found out a second one’s dead. Fred, the last pig, tells me he thinks it was Goldilocks.”
“That’s not possible,” said Little Red. “I saw the killer up close. And on top of that, I saw Goldi working on the Bear’s house just a few minutes before. She couldn’t have done it.”
“Okay,” said Cindy, tiredly as Doc walked over to a phone. “Let’s hear it.”
“I was on my way to see my grandma and I passed by the Bear’s house, that’s how I saw Goldi. A bit later I heard a noise off the trail, near the edge of the woods close to Fred Pig’s brick house. I moved closer and heard two voices; one was definitely a pig. She was begging not to be hurt, but the other person just said that he’d killed Andy and now she would join him. I peeked through the trees then and saw Suzie Pig and what looked like Alfred the wolf. I think he killed her.”
“What do you mean ‘think’?”
“I got scared and ran back here before anything serious happened.”
“Did you hear anything else?”
“Well, it sounded like Alfred was saying something about them both deserving to die for being so stupid as to build houses out of straw and stick. I didn’t hear any more.”
“Doc, have you sent for Alfred yet?” said Cindy.
“Yes,” he said, “and there’s a problem. As it turns out, Red, he was having tea the whole time with your grandmother and William the Woodcutter. There’s no way he could have done it. It looks like we still don’t have a suspect.”
“Actually, Doc,” said Cindy pensively, “I think we do. Let’s check out where each one died. I think we may find the last pieces to this puzzle.”
The three got into Cindy’s carriage and traveled to the great wall where Humpty often sat. They started by examining the broken shell at the base of the wall. Nothing turned up, so Cindy checked the top of the wall.
“Hey, Doc, look at this.” She pointed to a small puddle. “What does that look like?”
“Yolk?”
“Yolk. Which shows that whoever killed Humpty took out his insides before they pushed him. So they didn’t just want him dead, they wanted what was in him. Let’s go to where Suzie died.”
They traveled to the small field near Fred’s house. The sweetness of a barbecue wafted nearby as they pushed around at the edge of the trees that surrounded the field.
“It’s a lock of wolf’s fur,” said Red, looking at something on a branch.
“Yes, but it’s too carefully placed, almost as if someone wanted us to find it. And look at this, it’s not even real fur, it’s from a costume. I think someone dressed as the wolf in case anyone, like you, was watching. Then they even placed some fur here to frame Alfred. We don’t need any more clues. I know who the killer is and he’s very close. Get in the carriage.”
Cindy raced across the field to Fred’s house. She was so close to the answer, she could smell it. Once there, Little Red and Doc followed Cindy to the door.
“Fred?” called Cindy as she knocked on the door. “Are you in there?”
Someone unlocked the door. Fred, still in the apron, stuck his head out and whispered, “Do you know who did it?”
“Yes, Fred we do. Could we come inside for a moment and talk?”
“Oh, well, sure, I guess so. I’m in the middle of a meal, though.”
“We won’t be long.” He opened the door the rest of the way and allowed Cindy, Doc, and Red inside.
“That’s a nice smell, Fred, what are you making?”
“Oh, it’s for later. I’m preparing some barbecue for this weekend. I had some meat left over from my current meal.”
“And where would that meal be?”
“In the dining room, but it’s best you don’t--”
Before he could finish, Cindy moved down the hall and into the dining room. She returned a few seconds later.
“Doc, arrest that pig for the murders of Humpty Dumpty and Andy and Suzie Pig.”
“What?” cried Fred. “That’s an outrage!”
“Yes, Cindy,” said Doc, “how do you know it’s Fred?”
“Elementary, my dear Doc. He’s eating scrambled eggs and bacon. I’m guessing the barbecue is barbecue pork. Am I right, Mr. Pig?”
“I want a lawyer.”
“Take him to the carriage.”
Doc hand-cuffed Fred and took him outside.
“Cindy,” Red said, “how did you know to come here, anyway?”
“When I came here before, he had an apron on and was holding an egg beater. But I didn’t think of that at first.”
“So how’d you get it all together?”
“Think about it. A pig, cooking barbecue?”
“Amazing. You’re really good at this detective stuff.”
“Well,” she said thoughtfully, “I guess it’s not that bad.”