Admit It!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and am in no way saying I do by writting this. I also do not own the Linkin Park lyrics.

Authors note: Warning for dark humor (humor based on death) and violence. This was inspired by true events (except the whole mobile suit, suicide, runaway, and Heero thing) also it is very long. Heero takes more after his manga self (extremely cocky if you`ve read the manga version of the series.) in the beginning because he hasn`t been trained yet. Good story, enjoy, especially if you like Linkin Park. (who doesn`t.) Enjoy.

Chapter 1:

"Everything has to end

you`ll soon find out we`re all out of time

left to watch it all unwind."

Linkin Park

	"Admit that you can`t help me that`s all I want to hear!" Akkiko narrowed her eyes waiting for admitance but it wouldn`t come and she knew it wouldn`t. She knew in a few minutes when she was gone she would laugh about even asking. It would take a caring friend to admit that, and Veda wasn`t caring. She wasn`t even sure why she was asking.

	Veda wiped the tear trickling down her face away saddly. Pride wouldn`t allow the admitance, pride wouldn`t allow her to admit that she couldn`t help her friend and make it all better. She finally blurted out what was the decleration of void on the friendship. "I would if you would open up!"

	Akkiko growled as she felt her emotion drain away slowly until it didn`t exist. She normally tried to keep from being cold, but some situations required it. No one could help her and their trying to help only made matters worse. Finally the words flew from her mouth before she could stop them. "Who did you tell?"

	Veda shrugged her shoulders innocently. A lie was boiling in her and Akkiko knew it. She could see it almost. "Only the two people I told you about and I asked about telling them!"

	Akkiko growled. Discussion over, her best friend was lying and she knew it. She narrowed her eyes into small slits, grinding her teeth together as she spoke. "First of all, I had to drag the fact that you told Heather out of you and second of all you told Jill before you asked me!"

	Vedas` eyes went wide, as if to tell her friend that she was the one lying. This didn`t help Akkiko change her mind. "No I didn`t!"

	With a sigh and a shrug Akkiko picked up the small back pack with her things in it. She slung it over her shoulder and turned to Veda. "Yeah whatever." And with that she walked out the door in long strides without looking back.

	Veda dashed to the door as she hit the bottom of the stair well, tears runnign down her face in a desrate attempt to gain her friend back. "Why?"

	Akkiko turned slightly. "You know too much about me." With that, she made long strides out the door, leaving her friend, or ex-friend, wide eyed in confussion. Sure she would miss the times her and Veda had shared but if she couldn`t trust her best friend who could she trust? What had been told to about ten people, and what those ten people had most likely told to others, was her habitual self mutilation, making people shun her like a plage. Already there were tons of scars on her legs and arms. She couldn`t explain why she had put them there but Veda didn`t understand that, like she didn`t understand a lot of things. Maybe it was just to know she was alive, but how could she explain that to a friend who wouldn`t listen, a friend who was her only shoulder to cry on?

	That wasn`t the only thing that bothered her though. Veda was always on her to open up, be free, talk to people about her depression, while at the same time not listning and telling her to try to forget it. Akkiko stopped and leaned against a wall with a disgusted look trying to think of her next actions. Veda was a control freak. She always wanted her to do the same things she was. She wouldn`t let her be free. Akkiko slumped her shoulders. She was truly alone now, with no control, and a choice to make on her own.

	Part of her missed the companionship and shouted for her to go back and make up but the other part of her told her to get away from the tension. She was half a mile between her parents house and Vedas` house. She had a long stride, it had been just five minutes ago that she had left Veda crying in the stairwell. Finally she picked up her bag and started walking to her home, her parents house.

	When she got to the door she stopped. Veda had convinced her into storming out of her home without a word and she hadn`t spoken to her parents for months, they most likley weren`t sure if she was alive or not. She raised her knuckles, reluctantly, and gave a firm rap on the door. It jerked open. She was releaved when her parents sighed and invited her in. Friendship with Veda was over and this was a new life for her.

	Her parents knew nothing about the scars and they knew nothing about a ton of other things in her life. She knew they couldn`t help her but she didn`t care because they didn`t care that they couldn`t help her. As she walked up to her old room she looked out the window where she could make out Vedas appartment building. Her fingers touched the glass, cold from the air conditioning, and a tear ran down her face as she said her normal fairwell. "Das ve danya."

	With that she turned from the window and clicked her radio on. A very old song by a group called Linkin Park blared from it on an oldies station. She could relate to the singer. The scars Veda had left on her would never heal. She distrusted all people but now she would even more so, if that was possable. She pushed the thought that life wasn`t worth living out of her mind. It`s true that it wasn`t but she had promised Veda long ago that she wouldn`t kill herself. Now the thought she was wondering about was weather or not that promise was void along with the friendship.

	She decided it was but also that she would live as a spectator from now on. Watching the world as if in a theater. Scaring people away with her depression. It wouldn`t be fun but it would work better than finding a new group - yet more poeple to betray her. With a sigh she looked in the mirror. Her face was far too cute to be heartless and her eyes far too cold to be part of her face. She had soft, curly blond hair that fell to the nape of her neck and small frizzy curls fell into her eyes. She had always wondered why she hid her face the way she did.

	Her stomech was hard with scars crisscrossing over it and her arms were the same. She stared at her eyes. Cold, green, eyes. Her cheeks, soaked with tears from years before and finally her lips which even now in her "emotionless" trance trembled to keep from crying. She was alone for good this time and she knew it wouldn`t be easy.