Keeblex's January 1999 Quotes

Yes folks, they are finally here!  The Jan, '99 edition of Great Quotes!

Is your vampire cat still hiding under my half of the country you stole?
      -Dan Letchworth

You are a sick, egotistical, unethical idiot.  Can I be your best friend?
      -Greg Fulasz

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
      -Tom Todd

I'm not short...from an ant's point of view!
     -Made for Kevin Williams

You're not a complete idiot; there's still some parts missing!
      -Natasha Blank

God knows much, but man who understands woman knows more.
      -Jason DelaCuadra

When the going gets tough, you're screwed.
      -Moises Lara

If you can't convince them, confuse 'em.
      -Harry Truman

Jon says that if I run fast I can avoid exercise!
      -Garfield the Cat

Waaaaaaait a second.
      -Garfield the Cat

I know many people with average brains.  I know a few people with high
IQs.  But there is only one person I know who can walk, talk, and chew
gum with nothing but a file cabinet and a coffee machine in his head.
      -Kevin Williams

Words are the best weapons.  Guns are for cowards.
      -Paul Ilyinsky

Be kind to your school friends. Never tease them...[if they are short]
      -Lynn Redgrave

There are only 24 hours in a day...(23 in California and 22 in Hawaii and
Alaska)
      -Kevin Williams

Silence can suffocate a person as well as water. My formula for success:
1) Study hard 2) work hard 3) Have tall parents.
      -Christian Laettner

Life gets better every year.
      -Melisa Manchester
      -Kevin Williams

OK, who's been eat'n beans?
    -Jack in the Box Antenna Ball

I'll just have the beans.
    -Jack, current Jack in the Box ad

Boy, it still smells in here!
      -B.O.

                      kevvw@juno.com RULES!!!

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Keeblex's March 1999 Quotes

And now, heeeeeerrrrrrre's Johhnny!
       -???

Ignorance is hereditary.  You inherit it from your kids.
       -???

How do we know that the Y2K problem isn't just the apocylypse in
disguise?
       -Kevin Williams

Veni, Vedi, Veci!
(I came, I saw, I conquered!)
       -Julius Ceaser

Veni, Vedi, VCR!
(I came, I saw, I rewound!)
       -Enrrique Corrales

History Repeats Itself.
       -Kevin Williams

Veni, Vedi, VCR, Vedi!
(I came, I saw, I rewound, I saw [again]!)
   -Adaptation on E. Corrales by Kevin Williams

I don't understand this Y2K thing.  Why ever should we change all of the
y's in our language to k's?  It makes no sense!  Like the computers would
crash if we left the y's in there.
       -Kevin Williams

There are only three important things in life; God, love, and death.
Does that mean the works of a great mind are meaningless?
       -Dan Letchworth

The question should not be "What is the meaning of life?".  The success
in anything is asking the right question, and one without a feasible
answer cannot be right.  Rather, the question should be "how am I to
serve the greater good of the universe best?"
       -Kevin Williams

Life has no meaning.  Life is.  They say that the best way to enjoy life
is to think upon it or other deep matters.  If this was true, then why
have we not come up with an answer to the question?  The best way to
enjoy existance is to be.  Through this can you truly discover the
meaning of life.
       -Kevin Williams

Too much profound thinking makes you wiser than your peers want you to
become.
       -Kevin Williams

Wisdom is not aquired by age or experience, but by the ability of the
thinker to think beyond the square of society.
       -Kevin Williams

Too much profound thinking makes your brain hurt.
       -Kevin Williams

History Repeats Itself.
       -Kevin Williams

Did someone forget their deodorant?...Again?
       -B.O.

Too much profound thinking causes brin cramps...oooooowwwwww...that
hurts.....

(In large amounts of mental agony [no pun intended...yeah right] Kevin
has gone to the hospital.  This concludes the March quotes.)
       -Kevin Williams

                      kevvw@juno.com RULES MORE!!!

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Keeblex's May 1999 Quotes

Here they are folks, bigger and better than ever!  Here are over 50
quotes for your enjoyment.  (Some of the quotes are inside jokes; you may
not understand them.  If you want to clarify the joke, ask.  Some quotes:
 "Just don't ask.")

Where does reality end and dreams begin?  Is it a question of the power
of hard objects we accept as reality, or a question of something greater?
      -Kevin Williams

Life is like a new car.  When it is young and new you cherish it; when it
is broken in it is comfortable; but nothing can beat the comfort and
memories of an old, faithful car.
    -Out of some very odd corner of my imagination

SHORT PEOPLE RULE!!!!
      -Natasha Blank

I tell you its a Communist plot!  They WANT us to think that Communism is
bad!
   -Another odd outburst from the Supercomputer (me)

I need to pee.
    -Gaston, from "Picasso at the Lapin Agile"

It takes a truly blind man to see where he is going.
      -Kevin Williams

Life is a roughly equal to death; where there is life, there is no death;
yet where there is death, there is life.
      -Kevin Williams

Mankind in all its glory has only one truly effective weapon: Laughter.
For against the assult of laughter nothing can stand.
      -Mark Twain

[:o#)]'s juzd ton'd ged id.  Wee [o<--<]'s R ofden moor konpleks dan dey
R.
      -*<---*

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school...
      -As sung by Neil Chua

Where is that darn white Easter egg!?  I just can't seem to find it
anywhere!
      -Kevin Williams

sex.  Sex.  SEX.  Huh?
    -Gaston, from "Picasso at the Lapin Agile"

Why not?  I'll tell you WHY NOT!!!  Why I outta give you a good straight
answer,  I dunno.
    -So far, the oddest corner of my imagination yet.

(I am going for a psycho award.  Or at least thats what the voices told
me.  But I'm not sure if they said Psycho Award or Psychoa Ward.  What
ever, I have to burn the evidence...)
    -Don't even ask me where that came from.  (It      was the voices...)

If honesty is the best policy, then how do people like Clinton get to be
the single-most powerful people in the world?
      -Kevin Williams

Have you ever heard the song 110 Cornets?  It's funny, it starts with the
lyrics "76 Trombones led the big parade..."  Definitely something wrong
there.  (Nothing personal to any tromboners reading this)
      -Kevin Williams

The only thing that seperates us from the animals is.............that we
aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
      -Greg Fulasz

Are YOU going to eat that?
      -Jason DelaCuadra

OH NO!  That's Grandma's house!  AAAAAHHHH!  Sorry Grandma!!!!!!!!
      -Adam Browning

We will all be afflicted (at one time or another) with one, or both of
the most horrible conditions known to mankind:  stupidity and ignorance.
      -Kevin Williams

Hey, that last one was a really good quote!  Wait...this one isn't
supposed to be a quote...AAAK@home.com
    -Woooah.  Just don't ask me.

Why do we lock the "insane" people up?  Many geniuses were considered
crazy in their time, and are now extremely important minds.
      -Kevin Williams

How can you suffer from insanity?  Tom was right when he said "I don't
suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it!"
      -Kevin Williams

We have located two conditions inside you.  One is your insanity.  Your
other condition is terminal.
     -Adaptation from Betsy Ruch

Price, value, selection...Nobody even comes close.
     -Men's Fasion Depot Commercial

Caller: Does Burger King really reheat their Whopper meat in a microwave,
or are  you just sayin' that because you're jealous they have more
resaurants  than you?
Jack: They really do.
Caller: EEEaaaahhh.  I--I'm buyin' a Jumbo Jack.
Jack: Well, I just sold a Jumbo Jack.  And it only cost me $400,000 for
airtime.
     -Jack In the Box commercial

What ever life throws at you, pick it up and throw it back.
      -Nosaj ArdaucAled

Hey...That is just plain BS.
      -Greg Fulasz, Enrrique Corrales

So, blow up any cars lately?
      -Moises Lara

Sometimes you have to look Reality in the eye and deny it.
      -Garrison Keillor

Men who treat women as helpless and charming playthings deserve women who
treat men as delightful and generous bank accounts.
      -??

Is it possible that to search for reality is to search in vain?
      -Kevin Williams

Yes, even rocks are human.
      -I just don't know why I said that.

Each of us wages a private battle each day between the grand fantasies we
have for ourselves and what actually happens.
      -Cathy Guisewite

Do you want to make God laugh?  Tell him your plans.
     -Adaptation by Kevin Williams

Holding on to anger only gives you tense muscles.
     -Joan Lunden

Stuipid KGB, I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!!!!
      -Julian Vardes

A friend is more than just a friend if you can beat each other up, then
laugh about it without holding a grudge.
      -Kevin Williams

Crazy?  I was crazy once.  They put me in a padded cell.  I died in that
cell.  Then they locked me in a box.  There were rats in that box.  Rats?
 I hate rats.  Rats make me crazy.  Crazy?  I was crazy once...
     -Adaptation by Tim Ritenour

[Now, have someone continually repeat that last quote while you are
trying to sleep...Crazy?  I was crazy once.  They put me in a padded
cell.  I died in that cell.  Then they locked me in a box.  There were
rats in that box.  Rats?  I hate rats.  They make me crazy.  Crazy.....]
     -Instruction from Kevin Williams

THE AMEOBA STRIKES AGAIN!!!!  AAAAAAHHHHHAAAAHHHAAAHHHAAAAHHHGGG!!!!!!
      -Kevin Williams

The most predictable thing about the stock market is the number of
experts who take credit for predicting it.
      -Dave Weinbaum

Yah know, I can just see you dropping a bag full of anvils on your toe...
      -Kevin Williams

I want to build a BIG shopping mall around the White House..............
      -Kevin Williams

TRUMPETS RULE!!!!!!
      -Courtney West

Are you ticklish??????
      -Kevin Williams

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you
please.
     -Mark Twain (Samuel Clement)

The greatest miracle of mankind is true friendship.
      -Kevin Williams

The greatest technological advance of mankind is........the [portable or
non-portable] microwave.
      -Kevin Williams

I'd like to thank the Acadamy....
     -Adaptation by Kevin Williams

Let's make it a true Daily Double, Alex
     -Adaptation by Kevin Williams

The reality of the situation is, there is no reality.
      -Kevin Williams

We are all doomed to die, so why do we fear a harmless, and most
necessary part of life?
      -Kevin Williams

How do you know that death is bad?  Have you ever experienced it?
      -Kevin Williams

Just don't ask.
      -Kevin Williams