Keeblex's July 1999 Quotes

Wow.  I have alot of new address book members this month.  I guess that
means that I have to breif you guys quickly, and refresh the rest of you.
 See, I put these monthly quotes out to demonstrate the originality of
many people, and to *hopefully* get myself or someone else famous.  Now,
you guys have to help me by forwarding this to everyone you know.  don't
dissappoint me, someday I hope to get one back from a route that has
taken a big circle around the internet, and returned to me by way of
people I've never heard of.  i also do this beacuse a) it entertains you
people, and b) I often don't have much better to do.  So, on that note,
enjoy the most recent edition of wacky MONTHLY QUOTES!!!! (By Kevin).

Welcome to my world of Euthanasia!  How may I kill you today?
    -A take on Dr. Kevorkian by Kevin Williams

If my body were neutral, and I were to pour HCl (hydrochloric acid) in my
left eye, and Liquid Draino in my right eye, I would go
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"
      -Dan Letchworth

Does anybody know Kevin's therapist?
      -Steve Scott

HEY!  THAT'S NOT NICE!
    -Kevin Williams, in reply to the last quote

Love is like a sinking ship.  You either survive it, or you go way, way,
down.
      -Kevin Williams

Life is like the ocean the ship sinks in...you can be adrift in it,
alone, forever.
      -Kevin Williams

Friends are like the lifesavers the ship that finds you throws to you to
haul you in.
      -Kevin Williams

JC [<><] is the captain of the ship that finds you.
      -Kevin Williams

Maybe it's time for somebody else's quotes......
      -Kevin Williams

The unexamined life is not worth living.
      -I forgot who.

"His name is wonderful..."
      -not me... ;-)

State Supported School for the Unconstitutional X-cution of Students!!!
      -Kevvarchist????

There are four good things in life....:  Short, Sleep, Free, and Food.
That's Double-S, Double-F...
      -Kevin Williams

I'M A POTHOLE!!!!
      -Evan Ramos

I'M A FAT GUY!!!!
      -Matt Freels

I'M A...YEAH!!!
      -Kevin Williams

Watch out for the evil suicidal tomatoes......
      -Steve Scott

There ain't nothing wrong with bein' mentally disturbed, y'all.  All I do
around here is carry a big AX for self-defense, and everybody runs away
screaming!!!
   -excerpt from "The Diary of a Mental Therapist's Patient"

Rubber ducky, you're the one...you make bathtime so much fun!  Rubber
Ducky yoou're the very best...yeah
      -Kevin Williams

Don't you guys remember Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street, how they would
sing to the ducky, and then we'd go out and get dressed up in gorilla
suits...
      -kevinWilliams

MY! MY, MY, MY, MY, MY!!!!!!!!  My f****** can of soup!!!!
      -Jerry (Kevin Williams)

"I am the true vine..."
      -[<><]

i don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it!
      -Tom Todd

Enjoy being young while you can.
      -Jim Williams

There is only one person anything like me, and he would be....me.  None
of the rest of you are good enough to be ME.
      -Kevin Williams

...[somebody] is the Queen of sleeping in, and I acknowledge her
authority as her royal majesty right now...
      -Kevin Williams  :-)

Nobody ever lost money by saving it
      -Mark Twain

Would you like fries with these?
      -Kevin Williams

As I climb the ladder of success, I promise not to step on the rest of
you
      -?? ;-)

Life is hard, and then you nap.
      -Greg Fulasz

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.
      -Jey Leno

Your tongue can taste four different things:  sweet, salty, sour, and
bitter.  But one thing that will always taste better than the rest is
success.
      -Kevin Williams

Only I would have a name like *Keeblex*
"His name is wonderful..." <><



Regarding July Quotes

I have a correction to make on one of the quotes in the July Issue.  I am
so wholeheatedly ashamed at my mistake.  I promise it will never happen
again (I'm so embarrassed...)   Here's the quote I messed up on:
I'M A FAT GUY!!!!
       -Matt Freels

The correct quote:
I'M A FATSO!!!!
       -Matt Freels
I would like to thank Matt (|:-P) for pointing out my mistake
(evil....mumble mumble), and I apologize for the inconvinience to all of
you.  Thank you for your time,
       Kevin

Only I would have a name like *Keeblex*
"His name is wonderful..." <><



Keeblex's August 1999 Quotes

Here's the latest edition of Monthly Quotes, published in retrospect of
the month.  Enjoy!

History repeats itself.
       -Kevin Williams

Kevin, we need to work on your mental powers.  You're just too powerful!
       -Matt Freels

If we revise my mentalics, we have to work on your Reality Altering
Device, too!
       -Kevin Williams

In the ballad of love, I am tone deaf.
  -This person strongly suggested that they be listed anonymously...

E=Mc^2
       -Albert Einstien

I  CAN  DRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEE!
YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
       -Kevin Williams

If you can't convince them...confuse 'em.
       -Harry Truman

Would you like fries with that?
      -adaptation by Greg Fulasz

Why would anyone want an EXPIRED coupon?!?
       -Jim Williams

Never put of to tomorrow what you can eat today.
       -Garfield the Cat

Hey Kevin!  Look, I'm still taller than you on my knees!
       -Matt Freels

Shaddup!!!
       -Kevin Williams

You can't take it with you, so eat it now!
       -Garfield the Cat

Night was beginning to fall on my field as it spun lazily beneath me....
       -Douglas Adams

LIfe is good...life suxs.
       -Kevin Williams

I don't grow...the world shrinks (then grows a little...then
shrinks...then...)
       -Kevin Williams

Not so drunk....we're talking about a mild inability to stand up.
       -Douglas Adams

Sorry, that's all the time we have for August Quotes...but we hope to
have many more quotes for September.  One request, though.  My memory is
not perfect.  I hear all types of quotes in one day...but they delete
each other so that I can't remember them when I want to.  I need all of
you to send me ideas in e-mails...please don't expect me to remember your
quotes!  Thanks, and I'm looking forward to getting new quote ideas!
       -Kevin Williams

Only I would have a name like *Keeblex*
"His name is wonderful..." <><