"Mystery Science Theater 3000: DiC Dubbed Sailor Moon"
Send any comments and criticism to cchua@sdcoe.k12.ca.us
If you are under 18, this fanfic is suitable material for you. There is none of THAT stuff.
"Sailor Moon" and all related stuff are copyrighted by Naoko Takeuchi and all companies involved with her work.
"Mystery Science Theater 3000" is copyrighted by Best Brains, Inc.
Any mentions of copyrighted names and other stuff are copyrighted by their respective copyright holders.
All copyrighted names and other stuff are used without permission. Because this is not for profit, I don't think I'm violating any copyright laws.
This incredibly great work of literature and creativity is solely intended for the purpose of entertainment and is NOT to be sold under any circumstance whatsoever. If you are caught selling this, you will be court-martialed, shot, sent to the Russian Front, dunked in the Cursed Spring of Drowned Fish, shown the DiC version of "Sailor Moon" over and over again, encased in carbonite, fed to the almighty Sarlacc, bitten by Mike Tyson, required to do the Macarena, forced to watch every frame of footage from the O.J. Simpson trial with Mike and the bots, and forced to read this MiSTing.
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An Anchorhead Presentation
http://www.oocities.org/Area51/Hollow/5090/
GET READY!
[The Love Theme from MST3K:DiC]
In the not-too-distant future,
Next Sunday A.D.
There was a guy named Mike,
Not too different from you or me.
He worked at the Gizmonic Institute,
Just another face in a red jumpsuit.
He did a good job cleaning up the place,
But his bosses didn't like him,
So they shot him into space.
Mike: Not again!
They'll send him cheesy DiC dubs,
Worse than DBZ. (La-la-la)
Is Mike going to lose his sanity?
We'll just have to wait and see. (La-la-la)
Keep in mind Mike can't control,
Where the DiC dubs begin or end. (La-la-la)
Because he used those special parts,
To make his robot friends.
Robot Roll Call!
Cambot: Zoom out!
Gypsy: Buy fansubs!
Tom Servo: Rock on!
Croooow: Hail DiC!
If you're wondering how he eats and breathes,
And other science facts (La-la-la)
Then remember, it's just a MSTing,
You should really just relax.
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!
EPISODE 2
HOLOCABANA (HECK)
Mike Nelson and his robot friends, Crow, Tom, and Gypsy, were wasting their time in their new entertainment center. They were in a big, large, vast, huge, enormous, gigantic, empty field that somewhat resembled most of Utah. Gypsy was 'it'.
Gypsy sped along on her one foot, as fast she could in the esqueltering heat and incredibly high degree of boredom. She eyed Tom, hovering over another rock.
"Servo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!" she cried out. "I'll catch you-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou!"
Tom, who had nowhere to run, and, being in Utah, nowhere to hide, yelled out, "KAOKAN-KAN-KAN-KAN-KAN-KAN!"
Nothing happened.
"Ah, [stuff]-[stuff]-[stuff] it," Tom cursed.
Gypsy tagged Tom. "That only works if you're Sailor Servo, Tom-om-om-om-om-om," she reminded him.
Tom searched the barren plain for Mike or Crow. After spotting Mike in a pile of dirt (or what appeared to be dirt), Tom hovered over and whispered, "Mike, the mads are calling-ing-ing-ing-ing-ing-ing."
Mike, fooled by Tom's fib, climbed out of the dirt. Tom tagged him.
"That was sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!" Tom teased. "Hahahahahahahahahaha!"
"Mamamamamamamama?" Mike joked. Crow was nowhere to be seen, so Mike yelled out, "Croooooooooooooooow!"
"That's only one ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Crow foolishly rebutted, revealing his position. Mike, who was much faster than Crow, ran over and tagged Crow.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Crow cried out.
The setting faded, and the metal walls of the HECK appeared. Mike and the bots soon heard a familiar voice.
"Sorry, guys," Magic apologized, "but the Mads are calling."
"Please, Mike," Tom begged, "please don't let Dr. F show another DiC dub! During one episode, Crow drove me insane, my head exploded, I transformed into a Sailor Senshi, and I had to put up with all of DiC's [stuff]."
"Don't worry," Mike assured him. "I'm sure Dr. F will just show us another [stuffy] movie or something like that."
"You'd better be right," Tom threatened, "or we'll come after you."
"Just bite me," Mike offered. "Oh, Magic? Could you thank Magic Echo for coming down here from Mir?"
"Sure thing, Mike!" Magic acknowledged. Mike left the holocabana with an odd look on his face, which led the bots and Magic to believe that nature called. Tom and Gypsy headed down to the bridge.
"Echo, could you do your echo thing?" Crow requested. "I've just always wanted to do this."
Echo acknowledged, and after taking a deep breath, Crow developed a Latin American accent and cried out, "¡Ramirez le da la pelota a Sanchez! ¡Sanchez a Ramirez! ¡Ramirez a Sanchez! ¡Sanchez corre! ¡Le da la pelota a Gomez! ¡Gomez a Guzmán! ¡Guzmán a Ramirez! ¡Ramirez a Bób! ¡Bób a Sanchez! ¡Sanchez viene! ¡Él viene! ¡Viene, viene, viene, viene! ¡GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!"
"Hey, that's not bad," Magic complimented. "I like it..."
DEEP 13
"Hey, if it isn't Major Nelson and the Space Monkeys?" Dr. Clayton Forrester rudely commented upon Mike's arrival to the bridge. "Ready for this week's invention exchange?"
"Yeah, Dr. F! Mine's a---" Mike tried to say before being cut off by the mad scientist.
"Since you were so kind enough to make me wait, I'll go first."
"He was doing his business," Crow explained.
"Crow..." Mike warned.
"Well, my invention for the week is a Magic 8 Ball," Dr. F informed them.
"Hey, I got one of those in my room!" Tom told him. "That's not new!"
"Oh, but mine is. Frank! Bring me the Magic 8 Ball!"
"Right away, boss!" Frank replied.
After getting the invention and hitting Frank on the head, Dr. F continued his presentation. "Notice the color of the Magic 8 Ball [stuff] inside the Magic 8 Ball."
Mike and the bots all exclaimed, "It's GREEN!"
Frank chimed in, "Which means it's more accurate!"
Dr. F asked the Magic 8 Ball, "Magic 8 Ball, will I show those [stuff]heads a movie?"
The bots anxiously asked, "Will he, will he, will he?
The Magic 8 Ball read, TRY AGAIN LATER.
Dr. F asked later. This time, it read, ASK AGAIN LATER.
Dr. F asked later. This time, it read, ASK ME LATER.
Dr. F asked later. This time, it read, PREGUNTAME LUEGO.
Dr. F preguntó luego. Esta vez, lee, ALL RIGHT, ALREADY! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO!!!
Mike and the bots cheered.
Magic 8 Ball read, YOU'RE SHOWING A DiC DUB!!!
Mike and the bots ceased cheering.
Dr. F said, "Mike, show me your invention before I laugh like an evil maniac!"
Mike replied, "But you are an evil maniac!"
Dr. F couldn't help but saying, "I know. I try. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Mike continued, "Well, anyway, my invention is a Beach Boys sound system."
Frank asked, "What does it do?"
Mike answered, "It plays Beach Boys songs all over th S.O.L. whenever I get [stuff]ed off."
Frank asked, "Can you play anything other than Beach Boys?"
Mike replied, "Yep. I'll show you. Guys, cue Track #69!"
Tom prepared the controls and Crow prepared to sing. Crow began, "I know that I...I will SURVIVE...and as long as I know how to love..."
Dr. F couldn't help but envy Mike's idea, after seeing the damage it had done to Frank.
"...I know I'll BE ALIVE!" Crow concluded.
"Woof."
"Shut up, Frank!" Dr. F ordered.
"REAEAEAEAEAR!!!" Frank shrieked like a cat. Afterwards, Dr. F, Mike, and the bots realized what had happened.
"Frank's in the CAT-FIST!!!" Crow cried out.
"When Frank's in the Cat-Fist, he's invincible!!!" Tom added.
After scratching up Dr. F's evil equipment and breaking the Magic 8 Ball, Frank accidently rammed into a control panel, hitting a button and sending the DiC dub down to the S.O.L.
"Enjoy the dub, guys!!!!!!" Dr. F screamed right before the telescreen went blank.
SATELLITE OF LOVE
"Nice going, Mike," Crow sarcastically said. "Making Frank go into the Cat-Fist..."
"Hey, it was your singing, Crow," Mike countered.
"Bite me," Crow told Mike. Suddenly, red lights flashed and sirens rang out.
"OH," Mike yelled out, "WE'VE GOT DiC DUB SIGN!!!"
Door 6 is made of lard. You use your new liposuction machine to make a hole through it.
Door 5 is made of Staples supplies. Every time someone passes you, you say, "Yeah, we've got that."
Door 4 is made of rubber bands. You fling a few at your arch-rival.
Door 3 is made of Rold-Gold pretzels. You stab DudeDude2 a few times with a pretzel.
Door 2 is made of Stove Top [stuff]ing. You [stuff] a chicken.
Door 1 is made of kryptonite. You ignore it.
Door ½ automatically slides open and three shadowy figures enter the theater.
Mike walks into the dark room carrying Tom. As he places Tom into the seat to his left, Mike takes his seat, and Crow sits to his right. The title screen appears.
Crow: Stabbing?
Tom: With pretzels?
Mike: Who the [stuff] is DudeDude2?
>"Talk Radio"
Tom: I have a feeling today's Negaverse plot involves talk radio. What do you think, Crow?
Crow: It *always* involves Leonardo DiCaprio, one way or another.
Mike: Are you implying that Leo is *evil*?
Crow: Are you implying that he's *not*?
Mike: Good point.
>[Negaverse]
>Beryl: Jedite! Present yourself to me!
Crow: Would you like me shaken or stirred?
Mike: Crow...
Crow: Baked or fried?
Mike: Crow...
Tom: Finger lickin' good!
Mike: Tom...
Crow: Okay, thin crust or deep dish?
Tom: What?
>Beryl: Tell me of your progress gathering energy from the earthlings.
Crow: (imitating Jedite) Well, after I was done with Molly, I moved on to the fat lady...
Mike: Crow...
Crow: (imitating Jedite) I completely wore them out...
Mike: Crow...
Crow: (imitating Jedite) I'd tell you about it, but you'd get jealous...
Mike: Crow!
Crow: (imitating none other than Jedite) And besides, it's more graphic than the Starr report...
Mike: Why do I bother?
>Jedite: My queen, I am pleased to inform you that we have...
Tom: (imitating Jedite) Gained enough energy for us to gather more energy!
Crow: (imitating Jedite) May I volunteer my time and efforts?
Mike: At least the *study* thing is dead now...
>Jedite: ...found a new source of energy in humans.
Mike: It's called the spleen!
>Jedite: Apparently, they expend much of it on an emotion they call "love."
Tom: Tell me, Crow, if the Negaverse people don't know what love is, what is that bond between Zoycite and Malachite?
Crow: May I remind you that Zoisite was a MAN in the original?
Tom: Are you saying that it's not love? Their relationship is...
Crow: Yep.
Tom: Gasp!
>Beryl: Yes, I've heard of it.
Mike: I see it, but I don't believe it!
Crow: What a primitive means of reproduction!
Tom: Ewww...
>Beryl: You have a plan to capture this energy, Jedite?
Tom: (imitating Jedite) [Stuff] yes, I do!!!
>Jedite: Yes, my queen. I have already dispatched my servant,
Crow: To do the deed for me, heh heh...
>Jedite: Fro,
Crow: Fro?!
Mike: MOTOWN LIVES!
Tom: (a fro materializes onto Tom's head) Let's get funky!
Crow: Sugar pie, honey bunch...
Funky Tom: You know that I love you!
Mike: LOVE YOU!
Crow: I can't help myself...
Mike: HELP MYSELF!
Funky Tom: I love you and nobody else!!!
>Jedite: to take full advantage of the humans' weaknesses.
Crow: Why doesn't Jedite just take advantage by himself?
Mike: Crow...
>Beryl: Very well, then.
Crow: Okay...
>Beryl: Just try not to disappoint me as you did with your last effort.
Funky Tom: Okay...
>Beryl: That is all.
Mike: Okay...
>Beryl: You may proceed.
All: ALL RIGHT ALREADY!!!!!!!!
>[Serena's room. Serena is listening to her radio.]
All: SURPRISE!!!!!!!!
>Radio Host: It's the midnight hour, and you know what that means.
Funky Tom: It's time to get JIGGY with it!
Crow: Burn, baby, burn!
Mike: Guys...
>Radio Host: It's time for the Love Line.
Crow: With your hosts, Jedite B. Horny and Funky Fro DiCaprio!
Mike: Crow...
Funky Tom: Also starring Happosai of Ranma ½, Rei's grandpa of Sailor Moon, and James of Team Rocket in Pokemon.
Crow: With a performance by Molly, the exotic dancer!
Mike: Crow...
Crow: With her late night special!
Funky Tom: On the radio?
Crow: So DiC won't have to censor it!
>Radio Host: Tonight, we have a very special love letter from a very special lady,
Mike: How very special.
>[pan to Molly's room]
Funky Tom: What's Molly got to do with this?
Mike: Hey, what's Serena got to do with this?
Funky Tom: Hey, she's Sailor Moon!
Mike: So bite me! Molly's the *official* energy source for the Negaverse.
Crow: Ah, Jedite would love to take all their breaths away.
Funky Tom: That's if they don't get to each other first...
Mike: Guys...
>Radio Host: reaching out to a long lost lame, who she'd like to get in touch with again.
Mike: If he's so lame, why does she want to get in touch with him?
Crow: One word, VIAGRA.
Mike: Not in 1995!
Funky Tom: Or in 1992!
Crow: So?!
>Radio Host: It's signed, Hopeful Haruna.
Crow: Dear Abby, please get me some Viagra for my long lost love. Signed, Jedite B. Horny.
Funky Tom: Dear Jedite B. Horny, here is a list of places where Viagra is available:
The Y.M.C.A.
City Hall
Principal Kuno's office
Haruna's bedroom
Haruna's bathroom
Haruna's living room
Haruna's classroom
The White House
Haruna's car
The teachers' lounge
At Sav-on, where you can count on people who care
Staples
Cuba
Pfizer Pharmaceuticals
The Senate chamber
The Women's Detention center
The House chamber
Utah
Versailles
Buckingham Palace
Ted Turner's bedroom
Neflyte's rural cottage
Disney World
Funky Tom: And, of course, Deep 13!
Crow: Why didn't you yell at him, Mike?
Mike: (bending over, vomitting)
>[pan to Haruna's bedroom]
Funky Tom: See?!?!? Look back there! It says PFIZER!
Crow: Where?
Mike: (still vomitting)
Crow: Man, you've been staring at too many Magic Eye pictures.
Mike: (coughing) Or taking too much LSD...
>[Haruna jumps around]
Funky Tom: Now what's she on?
Crow: How should I know? Viagra?
Mike: (vomitting again)
>[pan back to Serena's room]
Funky Tom: We went in a big circle!
>Serena: Haruna?!
All: Serena!!!!!!
>Serena: Don't tell me Ms. H sent the Love Line a letter!
Mike: Okay, we won't tell you.
Crow: Ever think about the possibilities between Dr. F and Ms. H?
Funky Tom: Sounds like a cheesy modernized version of a European opera to me.
>Serena: It can't be her!
All: Yes, it can, yes, it can, YES, IT CAN!!!
>Serena: Teachers never have boyfriends!
Crow: But some have girlfriends!
Mike: Crow...
Funky Tom: (vomitting)
>Radio Host: Before I read the letter, I'd just like to remind all you listening that the Love Line always wants to help the lovelorn.
Crow: And get *things* in return...
>Radio Host: Write us!
Funky Tom: And leave the reading to us!
Mike: Cute, Funky Tom.
>Radio Host: If we read your letter on the air, we'll give you a romantic prize.
Crow: And a night you'll never forget...
>Luna: Oh! (sighs)
Crow & Funky Tom: My Goddess!!!
Mike: (sighs)
>Serena: I'd just love to have a show,
Funky Tom: (imitating Serena) Where I get to reveal my *deepest*, most *intimate*, *personal*, secrets...
Crow: Or better yet, her cleavage!
Funky Tom: Ewww...
>Serena: reading all those dreamy letters.
Crow: With all *that* graphic detail, the perfect *mood*, and the *best* of authors, it would just make me get...
Funky Tom: *JIGGY* with it?
Crow: You could say *that*...
Mike: Guys...
>Radio Host: Dear Lost Love,
Mike: Can't get a much simpler salutation...
Crow: How about, "Dear [Stuffing] [Stuff] of a [stuff], I so much enjoyed that night when I got so turned on; I couldn't help it. I just had to [stuff]...
Funky Tom: You mean get *JIGGY* with it.
Crow: NO! I meant I just had to stuff the turkey on Thanksgiving...
Mike: Didn't you mean [stuff] the turkey?
Funky Tom: MIKE!
>Radio Host: It's been many years since we've seen each other,
Crow: ...*NAKED*.
Politically Correct Mike: He means, lacking sufficient apparel.
Funky Tom: When we got *JIGGY* with it...
Politically Correct Mike: He means, doing the Wild Monkey Dance.
>Radio Host: but you're never far from my heart.
Crow: Okay, Haruna's lost love is her spleen.
>Luna: You should be in bed!
Crow: (imitating Luna) With *ME*!
Mike: Crow...
Funky Tom: Better hope Luna doesn't go into the Cat-Fist. She can get pretty *aggressive*.
Mike: Funky Tom...
Crow: Or with Molly!
Funky Tom: Or Melvin!
Mike: Guys!
Crow: Or Haruna!
Funky Tom: Or the fat lady!
Mike: GUYS!!!!!!!!
Crow: Or Unnamed Girl #1!!!
Mike: It's official. I've been darned to heck.
>Serena: I want to be a Love Line D.J.
Crow: Well then, you'd better let Jedite B. Horny teach you how!
Mike: (kicks Crow in the groin) SHUT UP, CROW, YOU [STUFFING] [STUFF] [STUFFER] OF A [STUFFING] [STUFF] AND THAT [STUFF] IN THE [STUFF] WITH THE [STUFF] THAT [STUFFED] MY [STUFF] IS [STUFFING] REALLY [STUFFLY]!!!!!!
Crow: (imitating Pee-Wee) I know you are, but what am I? Hehehehehe!
Funky Tom: Our word for today is *JIGGY*!!!!
Mike: ERRRRRRRR!!!!
>Luna: Give me a break!
Mike: Break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat bar!
>Serena: ...or maybe I could do TV.
Mike: Nope. That's Frank's job.
Crow: What if she did TV's Frank?
Funky Tom: Ewww...
Mike: ...
>Luna: Forget it!
Mike: (imitating Serena) It is forgotten, oh almighty Luna almighty.
>Serena: What's with you, Luna?
Mike: Funky Tom, if you say that she's getting *JIGGY*, I'm gonna...
Crow and Funky Tom: *JIGGY*? AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
>Luna: I'm fed up with a certain someone who never takes anything she's supposed to seriously!
Crow: (imitating Luna) So why must you insist on *fooling around* all the time???
Mike: CROW!!!!
Funky Tom: Am I really that *bad*, Luna?
Mike: FUNKY TOM!!!
>Luna: You've got to stop wasting your time with...
Crow: (imitating Luna) Melvin and Molly! I'm the one and only one for you now, Serena!
Mike: CROW!!!!!!!!
>Luna: ...all these silly ideas, Serena!
Funky Tom: (imitating Luna) You'll never live to be a cage dancer!
Mike: FUNKY TOM!!!!!!!!
>Luna: You're destined to fight the evils of...
All: (shudder) Microsoft!
>Luna: ...the Negaverse. When will you ever get it?
Crow: (imitating Serena) When I'm done with Jedite!
Funky Tom: (imitating Serena) Jedite dear, what's that green [stuff]?
Mike: Ick.
>Serena: Maybe I don't want to!
Mike: Get it or fight the Negaverse?
Crow: Or get *JIGGY* with it?
Mike and Funky Tom: *JIGGY*? AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
>Serena: Uh! Good night!
Crow: (imitating Luna) Oooooh, I'm sure it WILL BE.
>[Serena jumps in bed]
Funky Tom: Five little monkeys, jumping on the bed...
Crow: One fell off and broke his head...
Mike: Mommy called the doctor; the doctor said...
All: No more monkeys jumping on the bed!!!
>Serena: Party pooper!
Mike: Shouldn't that be panty pooper?
Crow: Yuck!
>[Luna sighs]
Funky Tom: (imitating Luna) Sorry, Serena! But you've got to stop putting the kitty litter in your dresser drawer!
>[Serena's kitchen]
>Serena's Dad: Honey?
Crow: Yes, dear?
>Dad: Why did you circle the date in red magic marker?
Mike: (imitating Mom) Cause we don't have a blue magic marker!!!
Crow: (imitating Mom) And because my *magic marker* happens to be red!
Mike: ERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!
Funky Tom: (imitating Mom) What color was your *magic marker*?
>Mom: Oh, did I?
Crow: [Stuff] yes, you did! And there's no excuse for this mess!!!
>Mom: Maybe, there's something special about this date!
Mike: (imitating Dad) Nope. A day like any other day...
Crow: (imitating Mom) Then I'll make it a day you'll never forget!
>Dad: Hahaha!
All: Mama?
>Dad: You mean besides being our anniversary and me taking you out to dinner?
Crow: (imitating Mom) Of course, besides that! Don't you remember (sniff)?
>Mom: Oh, you did remember!
Funky Tom: Whoa, it was one of those time hiccups!
>Mom: Say, "Ah!"
>Dad: Aaahhh!
Funky Tom: (imitating Dad) Why are you putting your magic marker down my throat?!?!
Crow: (imitating Dad) Ewww, your magic marker's leaking!
Mike: GUYS!!!!!!!!
>[Mom sticks bread in Dad's mouth.]
Crow: Apparently the bread had a yeast infection...
Mike: (kicks Crow in the groin and tosses him across the theater)
Crow: Ouch.
>[Serena screams.]
Funky Tom: From Mirimax Entertainment, Scream, rated R...
>Serena: Hello!...Goodbye!...See you later!
Crow: Usagi's Usual Morning...
Mike: Crow!
Funky Tom: Say hello to good buys, LA JOLLA PATIO & MATTRESS!
>[at school]
>Serena: (running through gate) Please! Please, don't ring yet!
Mike: Serena is talking to a...
Funky Tom: Telephone?
Mike: Doorbell?
Crow: (from across the room) Evil Mike. Evil, evil, evil...
Mike: Hey, Crow. Are your ears ringing yet?
Crow: Err.
>[in class]
>Serena: Where is she?
Crow: (goes back to his seat) She's at the strip club! Now [stuff] off!
Mike: (picks up Crow to throw him)
Crow: Akuryou taisan!
Mike: (a sticker materializes onto his forehead and Mike is spiritually cleansed)
>Serena: Ms. H never misses class!
Funky Tom: If she never misses class, then where is she now?
Crow: I told you! She's at the strip club!
>Molly: If she's out, we'll get a substitute.
All: We'll get a sub, if and only if, Ms. H is out.
Crow: Getting *JIGGY* with it!
Funky Tom and Mike: JIGGY?! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
>Serena: Oh, yeah!
Mike: No kidding!
Crow: Right on!
>Melvin: Maybe she'll let me read my report on yellow earthworms to the class!
Mike: Yellow Earthworms.
Crow: By Melvin K. Weirdo.
Funky Tom: Yellow earthworms are yellow.
Crow: Yellow earthworms do not exist.
Mike: The end.
Funky Tom: (imitating Melvin) Now do I get my *extra credit*?
>[Haruna walks in, extremely tired and discoordinated.]
Crow: She's had a little too much vodka.
Funky Tom: Or too many laxatives...
>Haruna: Hi.
Funky Tom: (imitating Serena) What? No "Good morning, class! It's nice to see all of your smiling faces today!" What a ripoff! I demand you greet us more appropriately!
Crow: Or more physically!
Mike: Crow...
>Haruna: Anyone not present raise your hand now!
All: (raise their hands)
>Haruna: Who cares?
All: (raise their hands)
>Haruna: Read chapters one through 35 in any book you want, and wake me up whenever the last bell goes off.
Mike: She didn't say please.
Crow: Does that include books on audio?
>[Haruna's flower decoration sucks her energy.]
Funky Tom: FLOWER POWER!
>Haruna: Good night, everybody.
Crow: (imitating Melvin) BWAHAHAHA! My report on yellow earthworms will bore the energy out of everybody!
Mike: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
>[Haruna yawns and falls asleep.]
Funky Tom: SLEEEEEEEEP!!!!
Crow: (singing) Wake up, dear Suzie, wake up!
Funky Tom: (singing) Whatcha gonna tell your mama?
Crow: (singing) Whatcha gonna tell your pop?
Funky Tom: (singing) Whatcha gonna tell your friends when they say...
Crow: (singing) OOOOO-LA-LA!
>[Everybody stares.]
Crow: I'd assume their staring at Haruna's...
Mike: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
>Melvin: Maybe one of us should go and get the principal, don't you think?
Crow: (imitating Melvin) I'm sure Principal Kuno would love to get to know Ms. Haruna well...
Funky Tom: Stupid liberals...
>Serena: Are you kidding, Melvin?
Crow: (imitating Serena) I'd rather us get *JIGGY*!
Funky Tom: *JIGGY*?! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
>Serena: It's way more fun to stay here and...
Crow: PLAY HARD!
Funky Tom: Crow...
>Serena: ...watch Ms. H snore away!
Funky Tom: (imitating Melvin) Oh, this is boring. I should of gotten in on the action when I had the chance...
Crow: (imitating Serena) Hey, Melvin! Do you know CPR?
Funky Tom: (imitating Melvin) Yeah, but I'd feel uncomfortable...
Crow: (imitating Serena) What? You don't want to get it on with Ms. H?
Funky Tom: (imitating Melvin) No! I just ate a bowl of yellow earthworms.
Crow: (imitating Serena) Don't worry! I'm sure Ms. H wouldn't mind your saving her life...
Funky Tom: (imitating Melvin) Well, okay.
Crow: (imitating Serena) Hey, Molly! Come with me into the storage room!
Funky Tom: (imitating Molly) What is it, Serena?
Crow: (imitating Serena) MOON PRISM POWER, MAKE OUT!
Funky Tom: (imitating Molly) This is much better than Haruna...
Mike: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
>[Luna walks down a street.]
Funky Tom: (singing) There she was just walking down the street singing...
Crow: (singing badly) DOO-WAH-DIDDY-DIDDY-DUM-DIDDY-DOO!
Funky Tom: (singing) Snapping her fingers and shuffling her feet singing...
Crow: (singing badly) DOO-WAH-DIDDY-DIDDY-DUM-DIDDY-DOO!
Mike: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
Funky Tom: (singing) She looked good!
Crow: (singing badly) She looked good!
Funky Tom: (singing) She looked fine!
Crow: (singing badly) She looked fine!
Mike: (singing) Then I nearly lost my mind!
>Luna: Oh, this is so frustrating.
Funky Tom: Welcome back, Mike!
Mike: Huh?
Crow: It's about time you woke up.
Mike: I haven't been out that long, guys...
Funky Tom: (singing) Welcome back...
Crow: (singing) Your dreams were your ticket out...
Mike: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
>Luna: I search all this time for a champion of justice and I get her!
Crow: (imitating Luna) Although the nights weren't *that* bad...
>Luna: If this is some sort of cosmic joke,
Funky Tom: Which it is...
>Luna: I frankly don't see the humor.
Crow: I do. It's just my humor is much *better* than DiC's.
Funky Tom: A self-insertion Crow joke. Scary...
>Andrew: Hello! Aren't you pretty!
Funky Tom: (imitating Luna) Take anything you want! Just don't harm the kitty!
Crow: (imitating Luna) Actually, do whatever you want with the kitty...
>Andrew: You're Luna, right?
Funky Tom: (imitating Luna) I'm a cat, you dumb [stuff]! Do you really expect me to answer you?
>[Luna shrieks]
Crow: Luna's in the Cat-Fist!
Funky Tom: Not again...
Crow: When Luna's in the Cat-Fist, she's invincible!
>Luna: (voice over) This is the one Serena likes so much.
Funky Tom: (imitating Luna) What a sicko! He looks like Leonardo DiCaprio!
Mike: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
>[Luna is meowing.]
Crow: She's still in the Cat-Fist!
>Andrew: What are you doing here all by yourself, huh?
Funky Tom: (imitating Luna) Well, I got lost on my way to the red light disrict. Could you give me directions?
Crow: (imitating Andrew) I could offer you a much better deal...
>Andrew: Don't tell me you're a video addict just like Serena.
Funky Tom: (imitating Luna) I can't talk, you [stuffing] [stuff]!
Crow: (imitating Pee-Wee Andrew) Well, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me! Hehehehe!
>[Luna is still meowing.]
Crow: AH! She's STILL in the Cat-Fist!
>Luna: (voice over) Actually, this could be a great communications base.
Funky Tom: (imitating Luna) This time, I could actually get to know somebody before I decide to get *JIGGY*.
Crow: *JIGGY*?! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
>Andrew: I've gotta go.
Crow: Just make sure you spray and flush twice!
Funky Tom: And replacing the Airwick wouldn't hurt!
>Andrew: There's lots to do...
Crow: Maybe you should of taken Immodium AD.
>Andrew: ...before the crowd gets here.
Funky Tom: Big crowds mean long lines.
>Andrew: See you later, Luna!
Crow: (imitating Shampoo) Aiya! Shampoo now called Luna! No one tell Shampoo! Now Ranma must die!
Funky Tom: Wake up, Mike! There's too much script for us to MiST by ourselves!
Mike: ZZZ...Huh? Where am I? What? Oh yeah, the DiC dub...
Crow: (imitating Shampoo) Mike finally wake up! Bozo! Not nice to make girl wait!
Mike: Crow...
Crow: (kisses Mike on the cheek)
Mike: What the...
Crow: (imitating Shampoo) Shampoo give you Kiss of Death! Now you must die!
Mike: But I'm a guy!
Crow: (imitating Shampoo) Oops. Well, Shampoo must dunk you in Cursed Spring of Drowned Girl so Shampoo can kill you. Aiya!
>Luna: This place would be fine,
Mike: For a homeless shelter.
Crow: Or a strip bar.
Mike: Crow...
Funky Tom: Or the two somehow combined into one!
>Luna: close to Serena's school in case..
Crow: I have cravings...
>Luna: ...there's an emergency.
Funky Tom: If there's an emergency, you call 911! Why the [stuff] would you call a school?
>[An ambulance passes Luna.]
Mike: 24-7 ambulance service.
Crow: So, if something goes wrong with the homeless strip bar, I call 911 and an ambulance comes within two seconds?
Mike: Screw the homeless strip joint!
>Luna: That's heading for the school!
Crow: It's an emergency!
Mike: Somebody call 911!
Funky Tom: What's the number for 911?
Mike: You killed it, Funky Tom! That [stuffs]!
>[outside of school, Haruna is taken to the the ambulance.]
Mike: News at 11. A bloodthirsty group of teenagers viciously attacked a teacher in Juuban today.
Crow: Apparently, they were just too *aggresive*.
Mike: Crow!
>[The kids are chatting in class.]
Funky Tom: (imitating Serena) Let me out! I want to go home! Wahhhhhhhhhh!
>Melvin: Maybe Ms. Haruna has sleeping sickness.
Mike: Certainly, someone is extremely sickening...
Crow: Heh, heh.
>Serena: Is this weird or what?
All: What?
>Serena: I've never seen a teacher fall asleep at her desk before.
Funky Tom: You did too! You saw Haruna doze off a few seconds ago! Don't you remember?
>Serena: Have you, Molly?
Funky Tom: Fine, then! Ignore me!
Mike: (imitating Molly) Yes, I have, Serena! I saw Ms. H fall asleep just a few seconds ago! Did you miss it?
>Molly: No,
Crow: (imitating Serena) Make up your mind!
>Molly: but maybe she stayed up too late listening to that new show,
Mike: "The Late Show"
Funky Tom: "The Late Late Show"
Crow: "The Late times 10 to the fourth power Show"
>Molly: "The Love Line."
Funky Tom: Okay. So Ms. H was listening to her radio. I thought she was jumping up and down for other reasons...
Mike: Funky Tom...
>Molly: I'm kinda feeling beat myself.
Crow: (imitating Serena) So am I! Wanna go cuddle?
Mike: Crow...
>Molly: It went on way past midnight.
Mike: To read *ONE* letter?
>Serena: (gasps)
Crow: (imitating Serena) Whoa! I never even noticed! Hmmm, I must have had *other things* on my mind...
Mike: Crow...
>Serena: I still think that calling the medics was a bit much.
Funky Tom: Being in a coma is *NOT* a life-death situation.
Mike: Neither is needing a Snore-Guard...
>Serena: She only fell asleep!
Crow: Mike, is that a DiC way of saying she died?
Mike: More than likely.
>Serena: What's the deal?
Mike: (imitating Monty Hall) You can take the new washer and dryer or what's inside this box!
Crow and Funky Tom: Take the box! Take the box!
>Melvin & Molly: Are you out of your gourd?
Crow and Funky Tom: NO! Take the box!
>Serena: What'd I say?
All: YOU SAID WHAT'S THE DEAL!
>Serena: Well, now class is canceled,
Funky Tom: (imitating Molly) Class was canceled? What the [stuff] are we staying in this dump for?
Crow: (imitating Serena) Let's go get a few bruskis, see some porn, and go back to my place...
Funky Tom: And get *JIGGY* with it!
Crow & Mike: *JIGGY*?! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
>Serena: so that means I got up for nothing.
Funky Tom: Serena has nothing to get up for.
Crow: Therefore, there is nothing for Serena to get up to.
Mike: Are you purposely rewording everything.
Crow: Yes, we are rewording everything.
Funky Tom: Rewording everything we are.
Mike: ERRRRRRRR!!!!
>Serena: I mean, come on, I could of slept in!
Crow: Then it would have been *Usagi's Unusual Morning*
Funky Tom: A scary thought.
Mike: Guys...
>Melvin & Molly: Aahh...
Crow: (imitating Serena) Magic markers for everybody!!!
Mike: Crow!!!
>Serena: Oh, well. Heehee!
Crow: Hoo hoo.
Mike: Ha ha.
Funky Tom: Ho ho.
>[FM No. 10 Radio Station]
>Employee: You wanted to talk to me, sir?
Mike: (imitating Boss) Yes, I did. YOU'RE FIRED!
>Boss: Yes, I did.
Mike: The next line had better NOT be "You're fired."
Crow: You're fired.
>Boss: Tell me why...
Crow: (singing) I love you like I do!
Mike: (singing) Tell me who could stop my heart as much as you!
Funky Tom: (singing) Let's take each other's hands!
All: (singing) As we jump into the final frontier!
Crow: (singing) MAD ABOUT YOU, BABY!
>Boss: ...we're getting all this...
Mike: SPAM!
>Boss: ...fan mail...
Funky Tom: (imitating employee) Uh, my guess would be that they like the programs.
>Boss: ...for a program...
Crow: Microsoft ripped off us.
>Boss: ...we don't have.
>Employee: There must be some mistake!
All: DUH!
>Boss: Obviously...
Mike: You need some Pepcid AC!
>Boss: Now find out what's going on!
Crow: (imitating boss) Or you're FIRED!
Funky Tom: (imitating employee) No Bosses Day card for you this year!
Mike: (imitating employee) And forget about that Christmas cheeselog!
Crow: (imitating boss) But I want a beer sausage! Wahhhhhhhh!
>Employee: I'll get on it right away!
Crow: Please don't get on 'it'! It's not ready to make a commitment!
Funky Tom: Okay, Gypsy tagged me, I tagged Mike, he tagged...Oh, no! Crow's 'it'!
Crow: Stay away from me!
Mike: Guys...
>[A lady that looks evil enters the scene.]
Mike: It's Barbara Streisand!!!
>[She's probably the Monster of the Day.]
>Fro: Is that the mail for the new "Love Line" broadcast?
Crow: No, it's bomb threats and gang-related hate letters.
>Boss: You know about this fiasco?
Funky Tom: Yes, I was in Twister, Volcano, Avalanche, and Earthquake!
Mike: Does DiC really try to refrain from using words six-year-olds have never heard of?
>Fro: Yes, I've been sent specially.
Crow: Priority Mail, from the U.S. Postal Service!
>Boss: Did headquarters send you?
Mike: What? The station itself is not it's headquarters? I'm not sure, but I think DiC screwed that line up.
>Fro: You could say that.
Mike: Good. I thought I was right.
Crow: She wasn't talking to you.
Mike: Then who was she talking to?
Crow: That boss guy.
Funky Tom: Heh, heh. This year's Christmas present will be one he won't soon forget...
Mike: Funky Tom...
>Fro: Hahahaha!
All: Mama?
>[Molly and Serena are walking down a street.]
All: DOO WAH DIDDY DIDDY DUM DIDDY DOO!
Crow: (imitating Molly) Sorry, Serena, but the nights haven't been good enough...
Mike: Crow...
Crow: (imitating Molly) I think we should start seeing other people...
Mike: Crow...
Crow: (imitating Molly) Here's your magic marker...
Mike: Crow!
>Molly: I've got a special project I'm working on!
Funky Tom: (imitating Molly) I'm doing a report on the success of censored porn!
Mike: Funky Tom...
Crow: (imitating Serena) So what? I'm doing a report on the success of censored porn on the internet!
Mike: Crow...
Funky Tom: (imitating Melvin) Hey, girls! Wanna proofread my report on the success of porn involving yellow earthworms?
Mike: Doh!
>Molly: I have to write the perfect letter,
Mike: A sequel to Nathaniel Hawthorne's "The Scarlet Letter."
Crow: Cute, Mike.
Funky Tom: Does it involve adultery?
>Molly: so it'll get read on the air by the Love Line DJ!
Funky Tom: Yep. She's cheating on Serena. That's certainly adultery.
Mike: Funky Tom...
>Serena: But you don't even have a boyfriend!
Crow: (imitating Molly) I know; I'll just pretend you're my boyfriend!
Mike: Crow...
Funky Tom: (imitating Serena) You mean I'm NOT?
Mike: Funky Tom...
Crow: (imitating Molly) I thought you were just my girlfriend!
Mike: Guys! Enough!
>Molly: I know; I'm just going to invent one so I can get my letter on the show!
Crow: It's Dr. Molly Frankenstein!
>Serena: Oh, smart, Molly!
Funky Tom: (imitating Serena) You completely ruined my magic marker!
Mike: How many times did I tell you...
Crow: (imitating Molly) Sorry, Serena, but my *Sharpie* ran out of ink!
Mike: ERRRRRRRR!!!!
>Serena: You can make the perfect guy!
Crow: (imitating Molly) Yeah, but it'll need a really good magic marker...
Mike: ...
>Serena: Handsome...
Funky Tom: Doesn't look like Leo...
>Serena: Smooth...
Crow: Very, *VERY* smooth...
Mike: Crow...
>Serena: Totally cool...
Crow: Sounds like Haruka!
>[Serena walks into Darien.]
Mike: How do you walk into someone else?
Crow: It's one of those Buddhist spirit things...
>Serena: I'm sorry!
Mike: That's okay.
Crow: She's not talking to you!
Mike: Well, bite me.
>Serena: I'm sorry!
Mike: That's okay.
Crow: She's not talking to you!
Mike: Well, bite me.
>Serena: I'm sorry!
Mike: That's okay.
Crow: She's not talking to you!
Mike: Well, bite me.
>Serena: I'm sorry!
Mike: That's okay.
Crow: She's not talking to you!
Mike: Well, bite me.
Funky Tom: It's Groundhog Day!
>Molly: Darien, how are you?
Crow: (imitating Darien) Couldn't be better! How are you and your chimpanzee?
Funky Tom: (imitating Serena) Ooh-ooh-aah-aah! Aah-ooh-aah-aah!
Mike: (imitating Molly) She says that you're a stupidhead!
Crow: (imitating Darien) Well, tell her to bite me!
Funky Tom: (jumps over Mike and attacks Crow) Ooh-aah-aah!
>Darien: Hahahaha!
All: Mama?
>Darien: What was that you were saying about someone totally cool?
Crow: Repeat: Haruka. Haruka. Haruka. Haruka.
Funky Tom: Haruka.
Mike: Haruka.
>Darien: Well, we can be sure it isn't...
Mike: Barbara Streisand!
Funky Tom: Leonardo DiCaprio!
Crow: Mike Nelson!
Mike: It's your fault for Akuryou taisaning me!
Crow: Bite me.
>Darien: ...you! Shouldn't you be going home and...
Funky Tom: Getting *JIGGY*!
Crow and Mike: *JIGGY*?! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
>Darien: ...doing your homework, Meatball Head?
Crow: (imitating Serena) As a matter of fact, I've already done my report on censored porn!
Mike: Crow...
>Darien: Hahahaha!
Crow: Uh, Mama?
Mike: He laughed twice in the same line...
>Serena: Don't call me that!
Crow: (imitating Serena) I resent being called a prissy uptight [stuff]!
>Molly: I just figured out who's gonna be the inspiration for my best love letter!
Crow: The fat lady!
Mike: CROW!
>Serena: Yeah?
Crow: See? I was right!
Mike: ERRRRRRRR!!!!
>Serena: How's this for inspiration?
Funky Tom: OUCH! Now I know why she's Sailor *Moon*.
Mike: Funky Tom...
>Serena: You're a creep, Darien!
Mike: (kicks Crow in the groin)
Funky Tom: Ouch!
Mike: (imitating Serena) And that's what I'll do if you call me Meatball Head ever again!
Crow: I can't breathe...
>Serena: You don't know a thing about me!
Crow: Or how I...
Mike: Crow...
Crow: Or who I...
Mike: Crow...
Crow: Or what I...
Mike: Crow...
Crow: Or my magic marker!!!!
Mike: CROW!
>[Serena's room]
>Serena: All right! Let's warm it up!
Funky Tom: (imitating Luna) With pleasure, Serena!
Mike: Funky Tom...
>Serena: This is going to be the best thing!
Crow: Since Viagra!
Mike: Crow!
>Luna: Serena, are you really going to start your homework without anyone telling to do it?
Crow: (imitating Serena) FYI, Luna, I finished my report and no one told me to *do it*. Would you like to be the first?
>Serena: Quiet, Luna!
Funky Tom: (imitating Serena) Molly might hear you scream, and she'll get jealous!
Mike: I wonder if there's an alternate universe with a less pathetic Mike Nelson.
>Serena: You'll make me lose my concentration!
Crow: (imitating Serena) And you know I need to concentrate!
>Luna: Gee, sorry!
Mike: Aitch, that's all right!
>Serena: Hmm, this has gotta be great!
Funky Tom: (imitating Serena) I got it at the 99 cent store!
Crow: And it just happens to be a...
Mike: Don't dare!
Crow: SHARPIE!
Mike: (kicks Crow)
>Serena: It's gotta blow them away!
Crow: In one way or another...
Mike: Crow!
>Serena: Hmm, let's see now.
Funky Tom: I hate writer's block.
>[Serena balances her pencil on her nose.]
Crow: Stupid Pet Tricks!
>Luna: Serena, you'll never get anything done at this rate.
Mike: FASTER!
Crow: Do it faster! Come on, I want it faster! Faster! FASTER!
Funky Tom: Sick, Crow. Just sick.
>Serena: You're absolutely right, Luna!
Funky Tom: (imitating Luna) I just love being right.
>Serena: Why didn't I think of it sooner?
Mike: Because you're blonde!
>Serena: I'll go there...
Mike: As opposed to here.
>Serena: ...directly...
Mike: As opposed to indirectly.
>Serena: ...and...
Mike: As opposed to or.
>Serena: ...present myself...
Mike: As opposed to present yourself.
>Serena: ...in person.
Mike: As opposed to not in person.
>Serena: This'll...
Mike: As opposed to be that'll.
>Serena: ...be great!
Mike: As opposed to be good.
Crow: Hey, Mike! That's was pretty cool...
>Luna: WHAT?
All: SHE SAID YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, LUNA! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS BEFORE? I'LL GO THERE DIRECTLY AND PRESENT MYSELF IN PERSON. THIS'LL BE GREAT!
>Serena: Come on!
Funky Tom: Go off!
>Serena: We're out of here!
Crow: They're into there!
>Serena: I'm gonna be on the Love Line tonight!
Mike: You mean tomorrow morning!
>[FM No. 10 Station]
Crow: AM No. 69; Bite me!
>Serena: Are you sure?
Crow: I didn't mean it literally!
>Serena: But this is the station the Love Line was on!
Crow: What, AM No. 69? I made that up!
>Security Guard: For the thousandth time!
Funky Tom: Don't slap my behind!
Mike: Funky Tom...
>Guard: There's no program called Love Line at this station!
Mike: But there is one called "Bite Me!"
>Serena: All right...
Crow: Stop taking everything literally! Don't bite!
Mike: Crow!
>Guard: Now go home!
Funky Tom: (imitating Serena) But that dumpster that you won't let me climb into is my home!
Crow: (imitating Serena) And if you don't let me go this instant, I wont get my bread crumbs!
>Serena: I'm going!
Funky Tom: (imitating Guard) Before I send you to a Denny's dumpster!
Crow: (imitating Serena) Denny's dumpster! Please! That's luxury!
>Serena: That's so weird!
Mike: (imitating Guard) Denny's dumpsters reek!
>Serena: I know I heard right!
Crow: Did Jedite say what station it was on?
Funky Tom: Duh! Otherwise, no one would have heard the show!
Mike: Why is Jedite using a radio? Can't he just go kill a couple people?
Crow: The only people that can die violently are evil people or people that get revived.
>[Serena's room.]
Crow: (imitating Melvin) Why is this so familiar?
Mike: Crow...
>[The alarm clock beeps.]
Funky Tom: It's the Clock of the Day! A new alarm clock for Serena, and she still never gets up on time!
>[Serena and Luna turn their attention to the radio.]
Mike: They set her alarm clock to wake them up for the radio show, and they get up. Why can't she get up for school? I don't get it, guys...
Crow: Well, maybe there needs to be a little motivation for getting up for school...
Mike: You had better mean watching anime.
Crow: No, I meant getting [stuff]ed!
Mike: CROW!
>Radio host: It's the midnight hour, the time for romance...
Funky Tom: Then turn out the lights...
Crow: And give yourself something to stare at wide-eyed...
Funky Tom: There's a full moon outside!
Mike: AAAAHH!!
>Serena: Aah...
Mike: NO MAGIC MARKER JOKES!
Funky Tom: Don't stick your Tupperware in my face, Crow!
Mike: ...
>Serena: I knew this was the station.
Crow: You know what? I can't think of a smart[stuff] thing to say right now.
>Serena: That doofus guard doesn't know anything!
Funky Tom: (imitating Schultz) I know nothing! Nothing!
Mike: You know, she wouldn't say that to that guy's face!
>Luna: This program is pretty new, right Serena?
Crow: (imitating Serena) Yeah, Luna. It only started a few minutes ago!
>Luna: It just started a few weeks ago.
Crow: There's something about anime time I can't pick up...
>Luna: So how come it's not mentioned in the entertainment section?
Funky Tom: Because there is no entertainment section!
Mike: That would make sense.
>Serena: They don't need publicity!
Crow: (imitating Serena) Isn't possible to gather energy from no one, Luna?
>Serena: It's the super hottest program on the air!
Funky Tom: Except Mystery Science Theater. Oh! Got my promotion in there!
Mike: Great job, Servo!
Crow: Forgot South Park, guys.
Mike: That is indeed full of hot air.
>Radio Host: Tonight, our special love letter is to a lucky mystery man...
Crow: I think the butler did it.
Mike: It's not a murder mystery.
Crow: I never said that! I think the butler groped Serena!
Funky Tom: Or Monica...
Mike: Guys...
>Radio Host: ...from a secret admirer named...
Funky Tom: The Fat Lady!
Mike: Servo...
Crow: I bet it's Molly...
>Radio Host: ...Molly.
Crow: Hot [stuff], I'm hot!
Funky Tom: That makes the fat lady the admired mystery man, right?
Mike: ...
>Serena: No way!
Crow: Yes way!
Mike: Oh, like, for sure!
Funky Tom: Absolutely positively definitely!
>Fro: (voice over) With so much fan mail,
Mike: (imitating Fro) The Postal Services of every nation in the world will all bow down to me! BWAHAHAHA!
>Fro: this show is going to be on for a very long time.
Mike: For 1000 years!
Crow: In other words, that's 50 scores!
Funky Tom: Jedite's best plan ever!
>Fro: Queen Beryl will be most pleased.
Crow: But who's going to please her? Mike?
Mike: That's sick, Crow...
Funky Tom: She'll take you to a new dimension...
>Radio Host: Remember, listeners,
Mike: We'll be on from 12:00 to 12:02 to read one letter. Don't be late, or we'll come after you.
>Radio Host: we'll read one...
All: AND ONLY ONE!
>Radio Host: ...special letter every night,
Crow: MORNING! After midnight, it's morning!
>Radio Host: and the lucky winner gets a beautiful...
Funky Tom: HOOKER!
Mike: HEY!
Crow: Pick her up at the homeless strip bar, formerly Crown Game Center!
Mike: Crow...
>Radio Host: ...prize delivered the next morning.
Funky Tom: In other words, a day from now.
>[Here it is shown that the radio host is Jedite.]
Crow: (making the ChessMaster sound) Dun, dun, dun!
Mike: SURPRISE!
Funky Tom: Plot development number 1!
>[Jedite is holding a flower decoration similar to Haruna's.]
Crow: (making the ChessMaster sound) Dun, dun, dun!
Mike: SURPRISE, er, again!
Funky Tom: Plot development number 2!
>[It is now quite obvious that the radio show is a Negaverse scheme.]
>Jedite: Hahahaha!
Crow & Funky Tom: Mama?
Mike: It's about time we had a break! My butt was starting to hurt!
Crow: That fro's a great look, Tom...
"Hey, guys," Funky Tom said. "Meet my pet rock band."
"Pet rocks?" Crow asked in a confused tone. "Pretty soon you'll have the lava lamp, Loolapalooza, Woodstock, and everything rebel."
"Chill out, Crow!" Funky Tom told him. "Take a chill pill."
"I can dig it," Mike commented.
"Anyway, here they are. PET ROCK ROLL CALL!"
Spiffy: Turn me on!
Spammy: Hormel lunch meat!
Spazzy: Epileptic seizure!
Squeaky: Can you hear me?
Sticky: Self-adhesive!
Sleezy: Stu Levy!
Doc: Find the spoof!
"That was interesting," Crow responded.
"If that's sarcasm, up yours!" Funky Tom returned.
"Guys, be good or I won't buy you a snow cone!" Mike joked.
"Bite me!" the bots yelled out.
"Just shut up and listen to us!" Spiffy the rock commanded.
Mike and Crow turned and looked wide-eyed.
"Magic, could you cue 'Kokomo' for the rock band?" Funky Tom asked.
"Sure thing, Tom!" Magic replied. The lights went out for a few seconds, then came back on.
"What the [stuff] was that for?" Crow asked.
A hole appeared in the ceiling and a disco ball lowered. Strobe lights were everywhere.
"What did you do, Funky Tom? This place is a Motown palace!" Crow was rather agitated.
"Calm down, Crow! Besides, I meant to do that. Don't you like my funky effects?"
"Would you mind if I got an axe and chopped them all down?"
"Chop this, Crow!" Funky Tom retorted.
Magic informed them, "Cue 'Kokomo' in 8...7...6..."
[5...4...3...2...]
All: Aruba. Jamaica. Ooo, I wanna take you to
Bermuda. Bahama. Come on, pretty mama.
Key Largo. Montego. Baby, why don't we go?
Jamaica...
Spammy: Off the Florida Keys, there's a place called Kokomo.
That's where you wanna go to get away from it all...
Squeaky: Bodies in the sand, tropical drink melting in your hand.
We'll be falling in love to the rhythm of a steel drum band...
All: Down in Kokomo.
Aruba. Jamaica. Ooo, I wanna take you to
Bermuda. Bahama. Come on, pretty mama.
Key Largo. Montego. Baby, why don't we go...
Doc: Down to Kokomo? We'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow...
All: That's where we wanna go, way down in Kokomo.
Sleezy: Martinique, that Monserrat mystique...
Sticky: We'll put out to sea, and we'll perfect our chemistry.
By and by, we'll defy a little bit of gravity...
Spazzy: Afternoon delight, cocktails and moonlit nights,
That dreamy look in your eye, give me a tropical contact high...
All: Way down in Kokomo.
Aruba. Jamaica. Ooo, I wanna take you to
Bermuda. Bahama. Come on, pretty mama.
Key Largo. Montego. Baby, why don't we go...
Doc: Down to Kokomo? We'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow...
All: That's where we wanna go, way down in Kokomo.
Sleezy: Port-au-Prince. I wanna catch a glimpse...
Spiffy: Everybody knows, a little place like Kokomo.
Now if you wanna go to get away from it all...
All: Go down to Kokomo.
Aruba. Jamaica. Ooo, I wanna take you to
Bermuda. Bahama. Come on, pretty mama.
Key Largo. Montego. Baby, why don't we go...
Doc: Down to Kokomo? We'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow...
All: That's where we wanna go, way down in Kokomo.
[End track.]
Mike and Crow applauded, but they thought that Funky Tom had played a weird joke on them. They also believed Magic was in on it.
"Is this some sort of joke?" Mike obviously asked.
"What?! You don't think a bunch of rocks can imitate the Beach Boys?" Funky Tom replied.
"Well, I just know Magic can," Crow told him.
"Oh, come on, Crow. Magic could have never done that to us," Mike assured Crow.
Magic, who was happy that Mike stood by her, tried to smile. However, she forgot that she didn't have a mouth.
"How about another song, guys?" Magic asked them.
"Hey, sure! How about 'Fun, Fun, Fun'?" Crow requested.
"Sure thing, Crow!" Magic agreed.
"Haven't you had enough of the Beach Boys?" Mike asked.
"Not if it means that it'll delay the DiC dub sign!" Crow explained. "They gotta finish the song before the sirens go off. It's a Best Brains thing..."
Magic announced, "Cue 'Fun, Fun, Fun' in 8...7...6..."
[5...4...3...2...]
Spammy: Well, she's got her daddy's car
And she's cruised through the hamburger stand now!
Seems she forgot all about the library
Like she told her old man now.
And with the radio blasting,
Goes cruisng just as fast as she can now!
Spiffy: And she'll have fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the T-Bird away!
Spazzy: Fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the T-Bird away!
Sticky: Well, the girls can't stand her
Cause she walks, looks, and drives like an ace now!
Doc: You walk like an ace now! You walk like an ace!
Sticky: She makes the Indy 500 look like a Roman chariot race now!
Doc: You look like an ace now! You look like an ace!
Sticky: A lotta guys try to catch her
But she leads tham on a wild goose chase now!
Doc: You drive like an ace now! You drive like an ace!
Spiffy: And she'll have fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the T-Bird away!
Spazzy: Fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the T-Bird away!
Squeaky: Well, you knew along that your dad was gettin' wise to you now!
Sleezy: You shouldn't of lied now! You shouldn't have lied!
Squeaky: And since he took your set of keys,
You've been thinking that your fun is all through now...
Sleezy: You shouldn't of lied now! You shouldn't have lied!
Squeaky: But you can come along with me cause we've got a lot of things to do now!
Sleezy: You shouldn't of lied now! You shouldn't have lied!
Spiffy: And we'll have fun, fun, fun now that daddy took the T-Bird away!
Spazzy: Fun, fun, fun now that daddy took the T-Bird away!
Spiffy: And she'll have fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the T-Bird away!
Spazzy: Fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the T-Bird away!
Spammy: Fun, fun now that daddy took the T-Bird away!
Squeaky: Fun, fun now that daddy took the T-Bird away!
Sticky: Fun, fun now that daddy took the T-Bird away!
Sleezy: Fun, fun now that daddy took the T-Bird away!
Doc: Fun, fun now that daddy took the T-Bird away!
All: Fun, fun now that daddy took the T-Bird away!
[End track.]
"Okay, how about Surfin' USA?" Crow asked Magic.
"Wait. Just save it for the holocabana. We'll need a second host segment," Mike interrupted.
Suddenly, red lights flashed and sirens rang out.
"OH," Mike yelled out, "WE'VE GOT DiC DUB SIGN!"
Door 6 is a Beach Boys towel. You use it after getting good vibrations.
Door 5 is a Beach Boys lunchbox. If you find the matching thermos, it'll be worth at least one grand.
Door 4 is a Beach Boys guitar. You play a few notes and you can sing like Mike Love.
Door 3 is school stuff. You sing "Be True to your School" over and over...
Door 2 is a surfboard. Makes you wonder what the door theme is.
Door 1 is a Beach Boys blowdryer. Funky Tom accidently blows his fro off, losing it forever.
Door ½ automatically slides open and three shadowy figures enter the theater.
Mike walks into the dark room carrying Tom. As he places Tom into the seat to his left, Mike takes his seat, and Crow sits to his right. The dub continues.
Tom: NO! My fro's gone!
Crow: Sorry, man, but you gotta get with the eighties.
>Girl (voice only): Open it, Molly!
Mike: Awww. That girl's only got a voice. Kind of like Magic...
Crow: I wonder if Magic ever felt sad for only being a voice.
Tom: Ever since Magic came, life's been great.
Mike: I know, Tom. I know.
>Girl: We wanna peek!
Crow: (imitating Molly) There are some places where even a voice can't peek!
Mike: Crow...
>Unnamed girl #1 (long black hair): Was that your letter on the radio?
Tom: (imitating Molly) No, I let her on TV! Oh!
Crow: If you're going to make jokes, don't make them corny.
>Molly: Uh, huh! I thought I was gonna faint!
Mike: It was way past midnight! It was way past my bedtime!
>Serena: What'd they send you?
Tom: A magic marker!
Mike: Err.
>Serena: Hurry and open it!
Crow: (imitating Molly) It's kind of early in the day, Serena...
Mike: Crow...
>Everyone: Oooo. Aaaah.
All: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
>Serena: Hey, that's the exact same flower Ms. H was wearing yesterday!
Mike: (imitating Amy) Also known as the Crowus Biteus Meus!
Crow: Wellus, upus yourus [stuffus]!
Tom: Guysus!
>Everyone: Oh...
Tom: That's definitely a line DiC would add.
>Unnamed Girl #2 (short black hair): So that means she was was Hopeful Haruna!
Crow: (imitating Serena) She dumbed me for some OTHER hussy! Wahhhhhhhh!
Mike: Crowus...
>Unnamed Girl #1: Yeah, it's gotta be her!
Tom: (imitating Haruna) Molly, I am your father...
Mike: Tom...
>Serena: Who would've thought?
All: (raise their hands)
>[The flower sucks energy from Molly.]
Crow: (imitating fat lady) Don't worry, Molly! I'll save you! I am Sailor Fat Man, er, Lady!
Mike: Crow...
>Molly: Oh...
Tom: I'm glad she's feeling better.
>Molly: I'm so tired!
Crow: (imitating Serena) Again, I ask, do you want to cuddle?
Mike: Crow!
>Molly: I wanna sleep!
Mike: Usually, people who want to sleep are so tired.
Tom: Someone needs her caffeine pills!
>Molly: Aaaah...
Crow & Tom: MAGIC MARKER!
>Serena: Molly, are you all right?
All: (imitating kids taking swimming lessons) ARE YOU OKAY???
>Unnamed Girl #3 (brown hair): Yoo-hoo! Molly!
Tom: I prefer Nestle Quik.
Mike: Cute, Tom.
Crow: MORE OVALTINE, PLEASE!
>Serena: (shaking Molly) What's the matter?
Tom: (imitating Molly) I'm unconscious!
>Serena: Molly, are you all right?
All: ARE YOU OKAY???
>[Serena gets close to the flower and faints.]
Crow: OOPS!
>Unnamed Girl #2: We'd better call the nurse!
Mike: (imitating Girl #3) Are you kidding? It's way more fun to stay right here and watch them snore away!
Crow: Serena's evil was her own undoing...
>Unnamed Girl #2: It's not normal to just fall asleep like that!
Crow: Someone had an overdose of melatonin.
>Unnamed Girl #3: Serena, yes! Molly, no!
Mike: Are Serena and Molly ballot measures?
Tom: Vote yes on Serena!
Crow: Vote no on Molly!
>[Serena's daydream. Serena and Tux Mask are floating above ground.]
Tom: (singing) I believe I can fly!
>Serena: (giggles) Who's there?
Crow: Queen Elizabeth!
Tom: No, Crow.
>Serena: Tuxedo Mask!
Mike: (imitating Tux Mask) That's my name! Don't wear it out!
Crow: (singing) Usagi and Mamoru, sitting in a tree!
Tom: K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
>Serena: What're you doing in my dream?
Crow: (imitating Tux Mask) [Stuff] if I know! I'm only some guy who thinks it's Halloween everyday...
>Serena: Are we in some kind of danger?
Tom: Not if you consider rape and murder danger...
>Serena: He's so mysterious.
Mike: Who? Me?
Crow: She's talking about Tuxedo Mask.
Mike: But why is she using the third person when it should be the second person?
Crow: She was blaming the bad night on *YOU*! Okay?
>Serena: Maybe he'd like to take me out for a hot fudge sundae.
Crow: Hot fudge covered...
Mike: Crow...
Crow: Juice.
Mike: ERRRRRRRR!!!!
Tom: Thirty-one flavors delicious!
>Tux Mask: (voice over) You've read my mind, Sailor Moon!
Mike: (imitating Serena) Hey! I'm telepathic now! Cool.
Crow: (imitating Serena) How did you know I was Sailor Moon? I should kick you in the groin!
>Serena: WAHOO! YIPEE! OOOH! OOOH!
Tom: (doing the Braves chop thing) Ooooh, ooohohohooohhohohohohoohohohohoh.
Mike: (doing the same thing as Tom) Ohooohohooohoooohohoohohoooohohohohoohoh.
Crow: (guess) Oooohohohooohohoohohooohoohohohooohohooohohohohohohooh.
>Serena: Does this mean you'll tell me who you really are?
Tom: (imitating Tux Mask) Of course. My name is Tuxedo Mask, alias Tuxedo Kamen.
>Tux Mask: (smiles, voice over) Of course.
Tom: (imitating Tux Mask without moving his mouth) Why the [stuff] isn't my mouth moving?
Crow: How'd you do that?
>Tux Mask: I'll tell you anything you want to know.
Mike: Where were you on the night of June 31, 2001?
Tom: When did you first sleep with a girl?
Crow: When did you first sleep with a guy?
Mike: Guys...
Tom: Answers. #1) The night after his parents died. #2) The night before his parents died.
Mike: Tom...
Crow: Hey! There is no June 31!
>Tux Mask: We'll have no secrets.
Crow: Except that I'm a eunech!
Mike: CROW!!!!
Tom: Not good, Crow...
>[Tux Mask is about to completely remove the mask when the dream ends.]
Crow: (imitating Serena) Sammy! Get your head out of my skirt, especially when I'm wearing it!
Mike: CROW!
Tom: (imitating Sammy) Now THAT's Fruit of the Loom!
>[hospital]
>Luna: WAKE UP, WOULD YOU!
Crow: (imitating Serena) You don't have to be so mean! Wahhhhhhhh!
Tom: (imitating Luna) YES, I DO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
>[Serena screams loudly, jumps out of a bed, and lands back in it.]
Mike: NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED!
>Luna: Well, you've got your strength back I see.
Tom: (imitating Luna) I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you've got your strength back I see.
>Serena: What happened?
Mike: (imitating Luna) YOU JUST JUMPED ON THE BED!
Crow: What's your problem, Mike?
Mike: If you jump on the bed again, I won't read you a bedtime story!
Crow: I jump on my bed???
>Luna: It's the Negaverse!
Tom: I thought Crow was 'it'.
Mike: I was right! Crow IS evil!
>Luna: I know it.
Crow: (imitating English teacher) Refrain from using simple sentences, which detract from the poetic rhythm of the English language, which in turn is the most spoken language in the world, and is one of the official languages of the U.S., the other being Spanish, which is spoken by the majority of the population of South America and the Caribbean islands, which is home to many of the greatest tropical resorts in the world, the exact opposite of what Antarctica would be if it were inhabited by regular people, which are never regular, and neither are many irregular verbs, which are conjugated irregularly, which brings me BACK to teaching English class, so if you will please turn to page 2 in your literature books, it will be greatly appreciated.
Tom: (imitating English teacher #2) That's a run-on.
>Luna: I think it's got something to do with this flower.
Mike: The Crowus Biteus Meus!
>Luna: We need to go to that radio station again.
Tom: (imitating Serena) Why?
Mike: (imitating Luna) So we can play around with that EBS sound thingy.
>Serena: Right!
Tom: Left!
Mike: Wrong!
Crow: Er, right!
>[Negaverse. Jedite is holding a ball of energy.]
>Jedite: We've drained all the energy this pathetic human had to give.
Tom: For the second time in two episodes!
>Jedite: With such a huge response, we'll have an endless supply.
Mike: Or a lot of e-mail.
>Jedite: More energy for the Negaforce.
Crow: Means more waffles for breakfast!
>Jedite: Queen Beryl will be most pleased.
Mike: She must be really easy to please.
Crow: You're telling me.
Mike: (groans)
>Jedite: And with each flower we deliver,
Tom: FM No. 10 station will pledge $500 to the American Cancer Society!
>Jedite: we come closer to releasing the Negaforce!
Crow: (imitating Fro) Too bad she didn't get out on parole...
>Jedite: And ridding the universe of the humans with their absurd emotions!
Mike: I don't think boredom is an absurd emotion.
>[FM No. 10 Station]
>Serena: Oh, it's that same guard on duty again.
Crow: (imitating guard) These forty-hour shifts are [stuff]!
>Serena: How am I gonna get by him without him recognizing me?
Tom: Dress up as a Charger fan.
Crow: How the [stuff] will he know what she is?
>Luna: I've got it!
Mike: AT ROSS!
>[Luna does the super neato flip thing.]
>Serena: Wow! What's that?
Tom: (imitating Serena) Is that a magic marker?
Mike: Tom...
Crow: (imitating Luna) Even better. A permanent marker!
Tom: Ewww...
>Luna: This is the Luna pen!
Mike: (imitating Luna) It's named after me!
>Serena: Is this another one of your super gadgets?
Tom: I guess you could say it's something like that.
>Luna: I guess you could say it's something like that.
Tom: Doh!
Crow & Mike: It's something like that.
>Luna: It's a very powerful transforming tool.
Mike: Then why the [stuff] do I need this special locket, just for me?
>Luna: It turns you into whatever you want.
All: Whatever I want?
>Serena: Whatever I want!
All: Whatever you want.
>Serena: Cool! How does it work?
Crow: You press the button and stick it up your [stuff]!
Mike: CROW!
>Luna: You say "Disguise Power" and then tell it what transformation you want.
Crow: (imitating Serena) DISGUISE POWER! Turn me into an adolescent freak!
Mike: What happens if she wants turn into a rabbit in the original?
Tom: She just says turn me into an usagi! Hey! You're right!
>Serena: Oooh, I'm gonna like this pen!
Tom: (imitating Serena) Requires 4 AA baterries...
Crow: ENERGIZER! ENERGIZER!
Tom: DURACELL! DURACELL!
Mike: Rayovac Renewables!
>Serena: DISGUISE POWER! Transform me into a sophisticated talent agent!
Mike: Is that an oxymoron?
>Serena: (giggles) Unbelievable! It worked!
Crow: That's the fastest I've ever reached...
Mike: Crow!
>Luna: Serena, are you going to be able to walk in those shoes?
Tom: (imitating Serena) What? I got my Dr. Scholls pads! What more do you want?
>Serena: Remember, I said "sophisticated."
Mike: (imitating Serena) Even if I am too stupid enough to know what it means.
Crow: And even if the people at DiC are too stupid too know what it means or realize that six-year-olds might not know what it means.
>[Serena puts on her sunglasses.]
Tom: RAY-BANS!
>Luna: You know, she might just be able to pull this one off.
Mike: Serena is walking away rather seductively. I'm surprised DiC didn't cut that out.
>[Serena trips and falls.]
All: Oops.
>Luna: Spoke too soon.
Tom: Didn't knock on wood.
>[Recording booth]
>Jedite: This is from Pam to her wonderful husband that she loves with all her heart.
Crow: Come back from Argentina and I'll give you the night of your life!
>[Serena is peeking through a window.]
Tom: That is a peeping Tom.
Crow: You're a peeping Tom, literally! You pervert, staring at Serena's [stuff]!
Mike: Crow...
Tom: Well, don't forget you were staring at Mike's [stuff] a little too long last Fourth of July!
Mike: Tom...huh?
>Serena: Wow, this is my kind of job!
Tom: Free food.
Mike: Good salary.
Crow: Complimentary magic markers...
>Serena: Can't beat that!
Tom: I'm assuming 'that' is Rodney King.
>Serena: They're all sleeping!
All: SLEEEEEEEEP!!!!
>Luna: Sleeping?!
Tom: (imitating Luna) No one invited me!
>Luna: What are you talking about, Serena?
All: SHE SAID WOW, THIS IS MY KIND OF JOB. CAN'T BEAT THAT! THEY'RE ALL SLEEPING!
>Serena: See for yourself!
Tom: I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see you see I see...
>Luna: It's the Negaverse. I can feel it's evil energy!
Crow: Luna's got the cooties!
All: BLACKOUT FOREVER!
>Serena: Let's go!
All: Let's go Sailors, let's go! Let's go Sailors, let's go!
>[Serena barges into the room.]
>Serena: Out of the way!
Crow: (imitating Serena) Jedite! You are under arrest for stealing energy without a license. Your punishment, staring at my...
Mike: Crow...
Tom: Let us never forget the day someone got REALLY peeved at Stu Levy.
>Fro: No! He's on the air!
Crow: So far, Serena, Tuxedo Mask, and Jedite have been on air.
Tom: And a whole lot more people are full of hot air.
>Jedite: All right! That about wraps up our show for...
Mike: This morning!
>Jedite: Huh?
Mike: I SAID THIS MORNING!
>Serena: (going into booth) Attention all "Love Line" fans! Stop listening to this show!
Crow: It's *EVIL*!
>Serena: It's dangerous to your health!
Tom: Not to mention causes impotence!
Mike: TOM!
>[Jeddite growls.]
Mike: (growls)
>Serena: Turn your radios off right now if you know what's good for you!
Crow: (imitating Serena) But feel free to turn me on any time!
Mike: ...
>Serena: And burn those flower pins; they're really dangerous!
Tom: Uh...I can't hear you. I already turned off my radio like you told me to.
>Jedite: No!
Mike: That's something DiC would write.
>Serena: They zap the energy right out of you.
Mike: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
>Serena: Get rid of them!
Tom: (imitating Word 97 grammar checker) Wordy expression. Consider "throw them out" instead.
>Jedite: Quiet, now!
Tom: (imitating Word 97) Overused term. Consider "silence" instead.
>Serena: Don't listen to this imposter, ladies!
Crow: (imitating Word 97) Avoid use of contractions. Consider "do not" instead.
Tom: (imitating Word 97) Gender-specific term. Consider "people" instead.
>Serena: He doesn't even know what love's about.
Tom: (imitating Word 97) Avoid use of contractions. Consider "does not" instead.
Crow: (imitating Word 97) "Know" may be confused with "no." Consider replacement.
Mike: (imitating Word 97) Avoid use of contractions. Consider "love is" instead.
>Serena: He doesn't care about your hopes and dreams!
Crow: (imitating Word 97) Avoid use of contractions. Consider "does not" instead.
>Serena: He's just using you!
Tom: (imitating Word 97) Avoid use of contractions. Consider "he is" instead.
Mike: I think it's dead, guys.
Crow: (imitating Word 97) Avoid use of contractions. Consider "it is" instead.
>Luna: Aaaaaahh! Be careful!
Tom: FLOOR SLIPPERY WHEN WET!
>Luna: That woman's his partner!
Crow: (imitating fat lady) I'm a woman? Someone please answer me!
Mike: Crow...
>Luna: She's coming on to you!
Mike: DiC wasn't thinking...
Tom: (imitating Serena) I know she's coming on to me! Ain't she sneaky?
Mike: Tom...
Crow: (imitating Serena) I know she's coming *onto* me! Get off! Help, Luna!
Mike: Crow!
Crow: (imitating Serena) I know she's *coming* on to me! You're cleaning up this mess, buddy!
Mike: ERRRRRRRR!!!!
>Jedite: You're off the air!
Crow: (imitating Serena) At least you're off of me...
>[Fro is crashing through the glass.]
All: (imitating Word 97) This sentence appears to be in the passive voice. Consider rewording.
>Luna: Watch out behind you!
Tom: (imitating Serena) I don't have eyes in the back of head!
Crow: (imitating Serena) And I can't sense everything like you can!
>[Fro changes into an ugly monster.]
Tom: U-G-L-Y!
Crow: You ain't got no alibi.
Crow and Tom: You ugly! Yeah, yeah, you ugly!
Mike: (imitating Word 97) Your sentences do not appear to have complete clauses.
>Luna: Brace yourself!
Crow: (imitating Luna) Do anything, but don't take off everything!
Mike: Err.
>[Fro attacks Serena by shooting something out of her mouth.]
Tom: Spit?
Mike: It's break time! All right!
Crow: Straight to the holocabana!
[Cue 'Surfin' U.S.A.' in 5...4...3...2...]
Spammy: If everybody had an ocean,
Spazzy: Across the U.S.A.,
Squeaky: Then everybody'd be surfin'
Sleezy: Like Californi-a.
Sticky: You'd see 'em wearin' their baggies
Doc: Huarachi sandals too.
Spiffy: A bushy, bushy blonde hairdo.
All: Surfin' U.S.A.
Spammy: You'd catch 'em surfin' at Del Mar,
Spazzy:Ventura County Line,
Squeaky: Santa Cruz and Trestle,
Sleezy: Australia's Narabine,
Sticky: All over Manhattan,
Doc: And down Doheny Way...
Spiffy: Everybody's gone surfin'
All: Surfin' U.S.A.
Spammy: We'll all planning that route
Spazzy: We're gonna take real soon.
Squeaky: We're waxing down our surfboards;
Sleezy: We can't wait for June.
Sticky: We'll all be gone for the summer;
Doc: We're on 'surfari' to stay.
Spiffy: Tell the teacher we're surfin'
All: Surfin' U.S.A.
Spammy: Haggerties and Swamies,
Spazzy: Pacific Palisades,
Squeaky: San Onofre and Sunset,
Sleezy: Redondo Beach, L.A.,
Sticky: All over La Jolla
Doc: At Waima Bay...
Spiffy: Everybody's gone surfin'
All: Surfin' U.S.A.
Spiffy: Everybody's gone surfin'
All: Surfin' U.S.A.
Spiffy: Everybody's gone surfin'
All: Surfin' U.S.A.
Spiffy: Everybody's gone surfin'
All: Surfin' U.S.A.
Spiffy: Everybody's gone surfin'
All: Surfin' U.S.A.
Spiffy: Everybody's gone surfin'
All: Surfin' U.S.A.
Spiffy: Everybody's gone surfin'
All: Surfin' U.S.A.
[End track.]
Crow and Tom were sitting in a sound-proof booth with the letters KSOL in the back. They started their talk show.
Crow started, "Hey, you out there in radio land! This is Daddy Crow with my partner Funky Tom on KSOL AM No. 69, the Satellite of Love station."
Tom took over, "All of you Beach Boys fanatics out there are gonna have a special treat tonight! We just sent our producer Mike Nelson out to escort Dr. Love to the booth."
Mike returned to the booth along side of Dr. Love. Dr. Love was really confused.
He asked, "What the [stuff] am I doing here? Is this some sort of [stuffing] joke? Am I on Candid Camera?"
Magic Voice screamed out, "Aaaaaaaahh! It's Dr. Love! Can I have your autograph?"
Dr. Love remarked, "What the..."
Crow said, "Hey, listeners, he's here! Now for a one-on-one-on-one-on-one interview with the Beach Boys' Dr. Mike Love!"
Dr. Love commented, "What the [stuff] am I doing here?"
Tom greeted, "Welcome to the show, Dr. Love!"
Dr. Love turned his attention to Tom and said, "Oh! It's great to be here, I guess, wherever the [stuff] I am..."
Crow asked, "Okay, Question #1. What is the meaning of life?"
Dr. Love replied, "What? Uh, to live..."
Tom asked, "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"
Dr. Love answered, "I don't know, the chicken?"
Crow asked, "Is this glass half empty of half full?"
Dr. Love said, "It's completely full!"
Tom asked, "If a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it, does it make a sound?"
Dr. Love said, "We'll never know."
Crow asked, "If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?"
Dr. Love said, "I cracked corn and no one cared..."
Tom asked, "How much is that doggie in the window?"
Dr. Love pleaded, "Please let me leave! These are stupid questions!"
Crow asked, "Boxers or briefs?"
Dr. Love said, "Hanes, and let's just leave at that. Now let me go!
Tom asked, "Did you have an embarrassing, inappropriate, intimate relationship with Miss Lewinsky?"
Crow asked, "How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?"
Tom asked, "Have you had your break today?"
Crow asked, "Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop?"
Tom asked, "What's your cursed form?"
Apparently, Dr. Love got upset. He got up and ran out a door, accidently going onto the bridge of the S.O.L.
Mike cried out, "Wait up! We're not finished!"
Suddenly, red lights flashed and sirens rang out.
"OH," Mike yelled out, "WE'VE GOT DiC DUB SIGN!"
"Dr. Love!" Gypsy cried out. "Hide over here!"
"Why not?" Dr. Love asked himself.
Door 6 is a pool table. You play pool.
Door 5 is a Ghetto blaster. You carry it on your shoulder and say, "What's up, homey?"
Door 4 is a CD player. It plays CDs.
Door 3 is a tape player. It plays tapes.
Door 2 is a record player. It plays records.
Door 1 is an A-track. You put on your platform shoes and get funky!
Door ½ automatically slides open and three shadowy figures enter the theater.
Mike walks into the dark room carrying Tom. As he places Tom into the seat to his left, Mike takes his seat, and Crow sits to his right. The dub continues.
>[Serena is running from Fro.]
All: (imitating Monty Python) Run away! Run away!
>Luna: Sailor Moon would be good right now!
Crow: In one way or another...
>Serena: MOON PRISM POWER!...And make it fast! [transformation]
Tom: Thirty minutes or less!
Mike: It's fast of it's free!
>Moon: I am Sailor Moon, the champion of justice! On behalf of the moon, I will punish you!
Mike: Did DiC actually use 'punish you' in this episode?! There actually is hope for SMS!
>Luna: Hey, that's not how the end of it goes!
Mike: Never mind...
>Moon: Yeah, well, I'm not finished yet!
Crow: (imitating Luna) Don't stop now, Sailor Moon! Heh, heh...
>Moon: I will right wrongs and triumph over evil and that means YOU!
>Jedite: Lots of pretty words, Miss Moon, but is that all they are, pretty words?
Tom: How the [stuff] can a [stuffing] word be [stuffing] pretty?
Mike: It's in
>Moon: You wanna see action? I'll give it to you!
Crow: (imitating Jedite) Oh, yes, Sailor Moon! Give it to me! MORE!
Tom: CROW! Before my head explodes!
Mike: Before MY head explodes!
>Jedite: Just what we've been waiting for! After her!
Tom: Your *action* comes in 7-10 days. Shipped FedEx. Moving at the speed of business!
>Fro: Sailor Moon, you're mine!
All: I want to hug you, and kiss you, and cuddwe you aww the time!
>[Fro attacks Sailor Moon. Moon and Luna escape through a hole in the ceiling.]
Tom: But white men can't jump!
Mike: Serena is not a man! And she's not white!
Tom: She looks white to me...
Crow: (imitating fat lady) Why can't I jump?
Mike: Crow...
>Fro: Drat!
Crow: Something bad happened...
>[Fro follows them.]
All: (singing) Following the leader, the leader, the leader, following the leader, wherever he may go!
>Moon: Aaaaaahh! What do we do, now?
Mike: (imitating Luna) Jump off the roof?
>[Moon runs more.]
>Moon: Aaaaaaahh!
Crow: Too bad that's too long tobe a *magic marker* joke aaaah.
>Luna: Sailor Moon! Try your tiara!
Tom: She never uses her super powers until someone tells her to, does she?
>Moon: MOON TIARA MAGIC! (misses)
All: Doh!
>Fro: Not a good aim, are ya?
Tom: (imitating Moon) Luna, what was I aiming at?
>Moon: (gets her tiara) MOON TIARA MAGIC!
Crow: Hey! Only one use per episode!
>[Fro is a pile of dust.]
Mike: Looks like a job for Hoover Steam Vac Plus!
Tom: You used that joke last time. It's dead.
>Moon: Do you surrender?
Tom: Fro won't answer you. She's dead.
>Jedite: Why would I want to do a stupid thing like that?
Crow: Because you're stupid?!
>Moon: MOON TIARA MAGIC!
Mike: Maybe she should try Moon Tiara Action.
Tom: Or Moon Frisbee!
Crow: Or Star Gentle Uterus!
Mike: That's not her attack!
Crow: But I didn't make that one up! You can't Crow... me!
Mike: Crow...
>[Jedite stops the tiara.]
Tom: It's velocity forward is 0 MPH!
>Moon: Aaaaaaahh! You can't do that! It's supposed to work every time!
Crow: [Stuff], I'm tired. We've been through 80KB already, and it's not over yet!
Tom: And I lost my fro...
Mike: What are you guys talking about? I'm not tired!
Crow: That's because you slept through a bunch of the thing!
Mike: Oh, bite me!
>[Jedite laughs.]
Mike: What's so funny?
>Moon: Aiya!
Crow: (imitating Shampoo) Aiya! Sailor Moon no can steal Shampoo's lines! Up Sailor Moon's [stuff]! Now Ranma must die!
>Moon: Eeya! Aaaaah!
>[Moon jumps to attack Jedite. Jedite forms a force field, sending Moon to the ground.]
Tom: What should Sailor Moon do now?
Crow: I don't know! What?
Tom: File a lawsuit!
>Luna: Sailor Moon!
Mike: (imitating Moon) That's my name! Don't wear it out!
>Moon: Way to go!
Tom: I'd assume that's sarcasm.
>Moon: (crying) Oh no! What do I do? I don't know how to beat him!
Crow: Is it true?
Tom: (imitating Moon) Hmm hmm! I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I dooooooooooooo!
Mike: I think it's about time for Tuxedo Mask to come...
>[Tuxedo Mask's rose appears.]
Mike: Hot [stuff], I'm good!
>Tux Mask: Don't give in to them, Sailor Moon!
Crow: (imitating Tux Mask) Isn't that what I said last time?
Tom: No, you said some [stuff] about being Tuxedo Mask and releasing the women.
Mike: And Crow made some fat[stuff] jokes about the fat lady being a man and Tuxedo Mask rewarding Sailor Moon, etc...
>[Jedite escapes.]
All: (imitating Klink) There has never been a successful escape from Stalag 13!!!
>Moon: This rose must have special powers!
Mike: The only way it can stick in the ground like that is if it was sprayed with Teflon!
>Moon: Tuxedo Mask, thank you!
Crow: That was the wildest night of my life!
Mike: CROW!
>Moon: He's so handsome and mysterious...
Crow: (imitating fat lady) Do you want to cuddle?
Mike: Err.
>[Radio people, Ms. Haruna, and Molly wake up.]
Tom: How'd they get here?
>[Serena's classroom.]
>Serena: (writing a letter) My beloved Tuxedo Mask, you are my hero.
Tom: Or hoagie, or sub, or grinder, or Italian sandwich...
Crow: And I want to take a big bite out of your...
Mike: CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
Crow: That's only one o!
>Serena: I think you are the, uh, greatest.
Tom: Most definitely a DiC line.
>[Molly takes the letter.]
Mike: (imitating Molly) Serena! The radio program got canceled! Why are you writing a letter? Don't you know you won't get nothing? Serena! Who's Tuxedo Mask? Why do you like Tuxedo Mask? What's so special about Tuxedo Mask? Serena? Does Tuxedo Mask wear a tuxedo and a mask? Where'd he get the tuxedo? Where'd he get the mask? Serena? Did he do something with Melvin's computer and go on the internet? What's the internet? Serena! Why can't I go to http://DiC.dubs.suck/BiteMe/Serena/Enrique/Bobalobadingdong/otorhinolaryngologist/Bob/index.html? Is there something wrong with that address? Serena? Why does everything end in .com? Are you listening to me? Serena?
Crow: (imitating Serena) Hahahaha!
Mike: (imitating Molly) Mama?
Tom: That was DiC dubbed.
>Molly: What are you blushing for, Serena?
Crow: (imitating Serena) I need to wee-wee.
>Molly: Are you writing a mushy love note to somebody?
Crow: Mushy's not the word. I'd say *erotic*!
Mike: CROW!!!!
>Serena: No, why would I do something silly like that?
Mike: Because you're silly!
>Serena: Here...
Crow: Was the wife of Zeus!
>Molly: Oooo! My beloved Tuxedo Mask!
All: YOU ARE MY HERO! I THINK YOU ARE THE, UH, GREATEST!
>[Molly giggles. Serena chases Molly.]
Crow: Run away! Run away!
>Haruna: Hello, everybody! I'm so glad to see all of your smiling faces again!
Tom: Wow! Go back about 50KB and remember that I said a riff kinda like that.
Crow: But that was when you were Funky Tom!
Tom: Don't remind me (sniff).
Mike: Aw, Tom, we'll get you a new fro.
Tom: Okay.
>Haruna: Now let's all get settled down so we can get...
Tom: *JIGGY* with it!
Crow & Mike: *JIGGY*?! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
>Haruna: ...started, shall we?
Mike: Yes, we shall come unto thou with that which thy riff is endured. And thine queries shall be answered and thy knowledge shall be expanded. And unto this will be that whom seizes all that art evil. Tu madre hace amor con mi perro. Ye shall be thy father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. And all shall remember that it is just a MSTing. Ye shall just relax.
>[Molly & Serena pass Ms. Haruna.]
Tom: Figuring Haruna usually passes Molly.
Mike: And she fails Serena.
Crow: And they all make passes at each other.
Mike: ...
>Serena: Really! It's my homework!
Mike: Liar, liar!
Crow & Tom: Pants on fire!
All: Hanging from a telephone wire!
>Haruna: You did homework?
Crow: (imitating Serena) It's my erotic fanfic assignment!
Mike: Err.
>Haruna: This is an event!
Tom: Magic markers for everyone!
Mike: TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!
Crow: Turn out the lights where applicable!
>[Haruna chases Molly and Serena.]
All: Run away! Run away!
>Haruna: I can't believe it!
Tom: (imitating Haruna) I ate the WHOLE thing!
>Haruna: Give it to me!
Crow: (imitating Haruna) I want my Sharpie back!
Mike: (sighs)
>Haruna: I'll read it out loud to the class!
Tom: (imitating Molly) Ewww, you nasty, Teacher!
Crow: An excerpt: "Dear Tuxedo Mask, I wish I could caress your..."
Mike: CROW!
Crow: "...and stroke your..."
Mike: CROW!!!!
Crow: "...and kiss your..."
Mike: CROW!!!!!!!!
Crow: "...and rub your..."
Mike: CROOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
Crow: What's your problem, Mike?
Mike: ERRRRRRRR!!!!
>Serena: Give it back, Molly!
Crow: (imitating Molly) What'll you give me in return?
Tom: (imitating Serena) Money, drugs, and the wild monkey dance!
Crow: Oooh-aaah-oooh-oooh-aaah-aaah-oooh-aaah-aaah!
>SAILOR SAYS
>Moon: Daydreams are nice, especially the ones about...
Crow: Money, drugs, and the wild monkey dance!
>Moon: ...food (giggles).
Tom: Viva gorditas!
>Moon: Daydreams are cool, all right. Just don't forget about your here and now.
Mike: There and then!
Crow: Here and now!
Tom: Somewhere in time and space!
Mike: La-la-la!
>Moon: The time you spend daydreaming, you could be making your daydreams come true.
Crow: (imitating Molly) Off to the homeless strip bar!
Mike: Crow...
>Moon: See ya next time!
Mike: Y'all come back, y'hear!
Crow: It's over! We survived TWO episodes of DiC dubbed SM!
Mike: C'mon guys. I'll buy you snow cones.
Mike and the bots came out of the theater from an exhausting day of riffing "Talk Radio." When they went to the bridge, they found Gypsy crying.
"They've taken him, Mike!" Gypsy cried out. "They've got him!" Gypsy continued to weep as Magic Voice explained the situation.
"The Mads," Magic told them. "The Mads got Dr. Love!"
Crow and Tom shouted out, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Mike said, "That's evil. Taking our very own Beach Boy. That sucks. Are you ready?"
Crow, Tom, Gypsy, and Magic exclaimed, "YEAH!"
Mike asked, "Are you set?"
Crow, Tom, Gypsy, and Magic exclaimed, "YEAH!"
Mike asked, "What are we gonna do?"
Crow, Tom, Gypsy, and Magic exclaimed, "WE DON'T KNOW!"
Mike suggested, "Let's watch a fansub while we think of ideas."
Crow commented, "That's a great idea!"
DEEP 13
Dr. Clayton Forrester had an evil smirk on his face as he watched his assistant, TV's Frank, tie Mike Love into a chair. This was just the break he needed in order to achieve high status in the American Society of Mad Science.
"How did you enjoy your ride through the umbiliport?" Dr. F asked.
"You evil, evil man! Let me go now! I'll sue you for everything you have!" Dr. Love threatened. He squirmed around tied in his chair. Unfortunately, his butt itched and he forgot his Preparation H.
"Your threats have no affect on me," Dr. F informed him. "However, I will give you a chance to prove that you are worthy. I will let you go back to California if you beat me in arm wrestling."
Frank did the ChessMaster sound. "Dun, dun, dun!"
"Shut up, Frank!" Dr. F ordered.
"I accept your challenge, Dr. Forrester," Dr. Love told him. "Would you like to make it two out of three?"
"I guess..." Dr. F acknowledged. "Frank! Untie him and bring the arm wrestling table!"
"Sure, boss!" Frank replied and went out of the room. When he returned with a fold-up table, Drs. F and Love got ready for the arm wrestling deathmatch.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!" Frank cried out.
"Shut up, Frank!" Dr. Love ordered as Dr. F hit him on the head.
Forrester and Love put their arms into position. They put their right elbows on the table and their left hands behind their backs. Both were psyched. When Frank said, "FIGHT!" Forrester easily forced Love's arm to the table. They both got into position and arm wrestled again. This time, Love pushed hard and won his victory. In the third match, neither could really win. Forrester tried to distract Love by having Frank show some porn. Love also tried to distract Forrester by singing like Barbara Streisand. Neither was phased, and it was a draw.
"How about thumb wrestling?" Frank suggested.
SATELLITE OF LOVE
Crow and Tom cheered as Mike returned from his room with a video marked VKLL. As they very well knew, he had a fansub.
Mike told them, "I got Japanese episode 2, 'Oshiokiyo! Uranai house ha youma no
yataka.'"
Crow grabbed the video and put in the VCR. They needed a little original Sailor Moon to brighten their day.
Magic told Gypsy about the episode. WARNING: Magic Voice gave away a complete spoiler. If you would rather not know about the episode, or you don't know what the [stuff] she's talking about, skip the next part.
"Okay, the second episode of Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon was skipped by those dirty [stuffs] at DiC. It starts out with a bunch of girls standing in line for an old fortune teller. Then Jadeite has his conersation with Beryl. Then Luna wakes up Usagi, and she runs to school. She tries to sneak into class, but Umino (Melvin) greets her, getting them both in trouble. Then, Umino tells Naru that he finds Usagi attractive. And Naru tells him to go see a fortune teller.
"Usagi goes to the fortune teller to find that there is no line. She asks the fortune teller why, and he says that a competitor arrived. He tells her that she is liked by a boy that she sees often. Usagi then wonders if it is Motoki (Andrew)."
Crow interrupted her, "Stupid [stuff] Umino! Getting Usagi in trouble like that. What a [stuff] off. He's stupider than Usagi. That dumb [stuff]."
Magic continued, "Anyway, she goes to Crown and plays the new Sailor V video game. She really bites, but Motoki helps her, etcetera. Luna comes and makes Usagi leave. Usagi gets really ticked."
This time, Tom interrupted Magic, "[STUFF]! Where the [stuff] did all the [stuffing] people go?"
Magic continued, "Well, Usagi thinks she should get her fortune told again. She wants to decide whether to go to the same fortune teller or the new one which happens to be part of a Negaverse plot. Well, she wants to flip a coin, but she doesn't have one. Instead she uses her shoe, and the shoe nails Mamoru (Darien)."
Mike interrupted, "Stupid Sailor V programmers didn't put any codes on this Super Famicom ROM!"
Magic went on, "They argue for a little bit, then it cuts to Melvin going to the new fortune teller. He's possessed by the Monster of the Day. Usagi goes home and comments that she bets Motoki is considerate like her father.
"The next day, Naru tells Usagi that Umino likes her. The day after that, Umino came dressed in a funky suit and tie. Usagi tells him that he's violating the school uniform thing, but he cares less."
Crow interrupted, "Ouch! That shoe hurt!"
Magic continued, "Well, he started chewing on something that wasn't edible. Haruna yells at him, and Umino flips her skirt, which causes her to cry. During class, Umino reads a comic book and laughs out loud, causing Haruna to yell at him. Haruna went toward him, but someone tripped her. Naru and Usagi figure out that they both went to the fortune teller (the evil one)."
Tom interrupted, "Love your bowtie, Umino!"
Magic went on, "Umino throws a rock at a window, and a teacher yells at him. He backsasses, attracting lots of attention. When Usagi comes over, he hits on her. Usagi starts crying, Umino leaves, and Naru tells her that he's gone. Luna senses more evil energy, and she leaves with Usagi."
Mike and the bots chanted, "PERVERTS FLIP SKIRTS! PERVERTS FLIP SKIRTS!"
Magic continued, "Well, it's Usagi who figures out that the new fortune teller is behind the plot. They go to the fortune teller's house, and Usagi forgets her transformation line. Luna tells her the line, and they go in the house to find the fortune teller telling a bunch of kids to go riot. Sailor Moon makes her speech and the fortune teller threw a card at her."
Mike and the bots sang, "WE WILL, WE WILL, ROCK YOU!"
Magic continued, "The kids approach Sailor Moon, until Tuxedo Kamen comes and hits the 'youma' with a rose. Then Sailor Moon does her Moon Tiara Action and kills the youma. The next day, Umino finds out that he flipped Haruna's skirt and tried to kiss Usagi. He shyly apologizes to her, and Usagi says to herself something about what she had to go through."
Mike and the bots cried out, "It's 'MOON PRISM POWER, MAKE UP!'"
Gypsy went over and flipped Tom's hoverskirt, making him cry. Fortunately for Gypsy, Tom didn't see her, and Magic wasn't about to rat on her.
DEEP 13
Forrester and Love said, "ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, I DECLARE A THUMB WAR!" They didn't know how foolish they looked to Frank.
Soon, Love pinned Forrester's thumb and cried out, "ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, I WIN THE THUMB WAR!" Forrester snapped his fingers and Dr. Love vanished into thin air, transported to his estate in Malibu.
He said to himself, "It's just a MSTing. I should really just relax."
THE END, FOR NOW
This MSTing was completed on November 7, 1998.
This MSTing is dedicated to KDI, aka Super Sailor Galaxy. He has recently announced that he will leave the SOS comments board forever. We SOS posters will miss him.
The fact that Tom Servo sang a song about "Those Funky Seventies" in today's episode is purely coincidence. I've been writing this for three weeks, and I never knew about the song.
Happy birthday, TriForce Boy!
My synopsis of episode 2 came from info at Hitoshi Doi's SM Encyclopedia.
Special Thanks to: Anybody who reads this thing. If you really read it, thank you!
"It's the midnight hour, and you know what that means."
Keep Circulating the Fansubs...