| Author's Notes: sorry its been taking me so long to add to my fanfics, but I've been extra busy with school and work and hanging out with my friends. But I promise from now on I'll try harder to add to my fanfics, especially for those of you who are waiting impatiently. So here's the next chapter, and I hope you enjoy! Reflections of Dreams Chapter 4 After her little fight with Amy and Lita, she was left drained and tired, but still edgy about her relationship with Darien and how it was progressing. She didn't want to be tied down to someone so soon in her life. She was young, she was supposed to have fun. No man was meant to rule her or tell her what to do. She had been doing whatever she wanted for years. And just the thought that she wouldn't mind being with Darien for many, many more years scared the living hell out of her. So she tried pushing it from her mind, tried acting cheery and happy as if nothing had ever happened. She played it off quite well, pretended she was doing fine, for a time. It all came crashing down when she was at the office, sitting at her desk going over paperwork and speaking with Ken at the same time, who was now in Rome."How is it over there?"she asked him, flipping through a file. "Its beautiful right now. I'm glad I came instead of you after all." "Yes, I regret that decision. Do you think I still have enough time to make a get away right now?"she was half joking/half serious, and he knew it. "Serena, are you that scared of him?" She sighed."I just don't want to be like every other female and marry just because it seems my time has come. I want to marry for....."she frowned. "For love?"he supplied."Look kid, you've always been somewhat of a romantic, no matter how hard you try to make yourself not seem like one. Its good to marry for love. Maybe you should give it a try." "I don't want to marry! I'm not in love with him." she pressed a hand to her heart and felt something there, something she had been feeling for days now whenever she thought of Darien or was with him."I think maybe I've been having mutiple heart attacks in the last few days."she whispered. "Don't bullshit me, thats love in that heart of yours."he chuckled when she gasped."I know you Serena, and those aren't heart attacks. Although they might turn into them if you don't start working out and watching what you eat better." Always the fitness freak, she thought."I'm in great shape."she sniffed. "Right. Listen, tell Amy I said hi and do me a favor. Don't run, please. I have a really bad feeling thats what your going to do." "I'm not."but even she knew deep down, she would."Ken, when do you think you'll be back?" He was thoughtful a moment."Another....two months I think. Maybe sooner. Hey, is Lita back?" "Yea, she got back two weeks ago. But she's already talking about another project, this time over in Australia. I think she might be leaving within the month."and with Lita gone, she might just be able to escape from it all. Amy was too kind to hold her back. Yes, Amy would never force her to stay. "Damn. One of these days I'll catch her. Listen, I have to go now. I'll check in with you again in a few days. Take care of yourself." "You too. Bye Ken."she hung up, was tapping her fingers against her desk when her secretary beeped her, informing her that Lita was there to see her."Let her in." She stood, her eyes widening when she saw Lita carried her lucky, beat up pack that she always took when she was leaving on one of her expeditions."Lita, whats going on?" She blew her wild hair out of her eyes, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt."I'm leaving. They changed the date of the shoot and my flight departs in half an hour. I might be gone for a while on this one since I'll be hiking into deserts and swamps. I called Amy and told her already so I'm going to need you to go over to her place tonight and spend time with her. It upset her when I told her I would be gone for some months on this one." Serena nodded."All right."she waited, knowing Lita could have just called to tell her all of this. She knew a confrontation was about to happen. Lita walked to her desk, ran her fingers along the smooth surface, then let her eyes whip up to Serena's, dark and filled with suspicion."I know what you said the other day is still going through your mind. I know that now that I'm leaving you might actually go through with it." She straightened, lifted her chin."And? So what? I have a right to do what I want." Lita narrowed her eyes."Is that right? So you'll leave him, knowing the man loves and adores you? Knowing he has for the last seven years?" That statement staggered her, but she refused to let it show."This is my life Lita and my choice. If I don't want to stay with someone, then I won't." "You always were as stubborn as a mule. What I want you to realize is that if you leave him, you'll be leaving the first man thats ever meant anything to you in your life. If you walk, sure you'll be able to tell yourself you did the right thing for the first while. But as time goes on its going to hit you that you just made the biggest fucking mistake of your life."she said it viciously, her eyes on fire with rage. Serena leaned across her desk, whispered,"Then it will be MY mistake, not yours. I'll learn to live with it." They stared at one another and even though it broke something inside her to fight with one of her best friends, one of her sisters like this, she couldn't admit, even to Lita, that she might be right. Lita shook her head, slung her pack over her shoulder."Fine. Do what you want. Take off. Run, leave. Its what your good at." "Then thats something we both have in common."she shot back. A shadow passed over her friends green eyes, but it faded as quickly as it had come."I hope you know what your doing." "I do."because the anger was passing and she didn't want Lita to leave with the fight between them, she walked around her desk to her."Lita, please try and understand me. I really have no idea at this point what I'm going to do. I'm just so....confused." "I can see that. Look Serena, I just don't want to see you hurt Darien or yourself."she took a deep breath."If you need to take off, do it. Whatever you decide, I'm still your friend." She looked up at her, tears in her eyes."No, your my sister."it moved her that of all the people who had come and gone in her life, Amy and Lita had always remained by her side. Lita grinned."Yea, my sister."she gave her a hard hug."Take care of Amy while I'm gone." "I will. You make sure to take care of yourself." "All right. I'll call you when I get there."because there were still tears in Serena's eyes, she placed a hand on her hip, trying to lighten the mood."And don't think I forgot what a bitch you just were to me. I'll be sure to remember so you can make it up to me when I get back."she turned and walked out of her office, calling over her shoulder,"I'll be seeing ya kid." She stood there another moment and knew, with Lita's leaving, that this would be the beginning of the end. Darien felt like he was on top of the world. His business was thriving, his old friend Greg would be coming soon to help him oversee the warehouse while he was at the office, and Serena was all his. It made him wonder how he'd ever been able to live without her before. Without any of it. So because they'd been together for sometime and he wanted the relationship to progress to the next step, marriage, he called his parents and told them his plans. He asked his mother for his grandmothers ring, told her to ship it to him as soon as possible. And even though his mother told him perhaps he should wait a bit longer to ask Serena the question, he chose not listen and go on with what he wanted. So it came, in a little box, and he put it away for safe keeping. He planned silently of when and how he would do it, because to him, this was it. A few days after Lita had left to Australia, she came home from work, tired and a bit annoyed. He helped her by having her sit down, brought her some aspirin, listened to her tell him about how Ken was now in Italy and that he'd encountered some problems while he was there. A fight had broken out in the hotel lobby and the people were now threatening to sue Carroway Hotels. Ken had said he could handle it, but she wanted to go out there herself and make sure. She stood then, walked away from him, rubbing her temples as she went."There's something else."she said softly, knowing the time had come. She'd played this game with him long enough, was her reasoning for it. He stood and watched her, tucking his hands in his pockets."What is it?"he could feel a small lick of fear coat his throat, but he ignored it. "I'm going to Italy. The arrangements have been made and I'll be leaving this weekend."she took a deep breath."When I come back, I'll be moving back into my own home." He frowned, told himself to calm down when his heart leapt."But why? Your comfortable here, you've been living here for sometime." She'd done this with so many others, but it had never been this hard. She told herself to be strong and looked back at him, clear in the eyes."Because this relationship has run its course for me." Minutes ticked by and all he could do was stare at her, his eyes burning, his heart aching."I don't understand." She forced a smile, tossed her hair back and made sure to seem like this was nothing to her."I'm sure you do Darien. Were both adults, we both understand when the end of a relationship has come. Don't make this harder then it is. I want us to remain friends." He didn't know how to react when he could feel his heart breaking, when the pain was so immense he could barely speak."Friends?" She nodded."Yea. We'll be seeing each other since Amy is your sister and my best friend. Its best that were on good terms." He turned away, rubbed his eyes hard."I still don't understand. Why do you want to end this?"he turned on her, the anger coming now."WHY?! What did I do?!" She kept her voice calm when she spoke."Because I'm not the type who stays tied down for long. Its been fun Darien, and I do care about you, but its time for me to go." His eyes had turned a deep, violent blue."Thats not a reason." She hadn't suspected he would want such an answer."What do you want me to say Darien? I've told you how I feel, I've explained why."she ran a hand through her silvery hair."Don't make this a bad break up Darien, please." "Bad? Maybe I wouldn't be making it 'bad' if I knew why you were suddenly dumping me. Serena, we made love last night and it was perfect. So where is this coming from?"he went to her and gripped her arms."I don't want this to end. I...."he halted and looked away. She kept her eyes cool and clear."I'm sorry you feel that way." His gaze snapped back to hers."Its so easy for you to do this. Its so easy for you to just turn your back on me and walk away. You don't care about me, do you?"he shook her, had her eyes widening."Its always been a game for you, hasn't it?" "I really don't see how this will help you feel better about the break up-" "Answer me!"he shouted into her face. "I never took it seriously, if thats what you want to know."she watched her words take there effect on him, watched his face fill with pain. "You never took it seriously."he repeated quietly, nodding slowly."And I took it as everything." If he continued looking at her like that, she would break."Darien-" "I loved you. I've loved you for the past seven years of my life. I've loved you since the night of Amy's eighteenth birthday, since the moment I saw you standing in the maze under the moonlight waiting for me."he thought of his grandmothers ring inside his jacket pocket, the dreams and future he had planned for them to share together, and could have wept."Even now I still love you." Unable to take anymore, she jerked away, put distance between them."I'm sorry to hear that."she swallowed hard and reminded herself, she was a solitary person. She didn't love him. She didn't love anyone."I'm going now. I'll have Amy come and get my things for me while I'm gone. It'll be easier on you that way Darien." So much bitterness filled him, so much anger and sudden hate."Right. Easier on me."he watched her walk to the door, watched her open it and stand there for a moment. "Bye Darien. I'll....I'll call you when I get to Italy."because she could feel herself falling apart, she turned and walked out, closing the door behind her. He stood there in the main hall of his huge home, staring at the door she had just left from, listening as she started her car and left him. And she took his heart with her. She drove home, but she managed to hold the tears back and keep herself together. She wouldn't let it get to her, she wouldn't allow it take over. She ruled herself, she was her own woman. She hoped she would continue to feel that way in the following days. She called Amy and told her she was going to Italy. She interrupted her during a session with a patient and Amy immediately told her she would be over to her house, to give her half an hour. She agreed with a shrug. She was packing her clothes when she heard the front door open and close downstairs, then footsteps coming up to her room. She turned just as Amy burst into the room, dressed in her little suit and expensive Italian shoes."You look good Am." "Don't you start."she planted her hands on her hips, stalked over to her friend."Whats this that your going to Italy?"as she'd dreaded, she could already see something in her friends eyes. "Business has called me away. Ken needs help out there, we have a threat. I trust him to take care of it, but I also want to make sure things go smoothly."which was a lie, since they both knew Ken was completely capable of handling it. "Whats happened?"when Serena turned away from her, she took her by the arm."Whats happened?!" "I suppose I can just tell you."she looked at Amy and knew that here, she would find understanding after all. Amy had always been so calm and cool."Last night I informed Darien that I would be leaving for Italy and when I got back, I would be moving back into my own home. In other words, its over between us." Amy stared at her, eyes wide as what she meant dawned on her."You...did it." She nodded."I had too. I couldn't stay with him any longer. You understand, don't you Am?" She shook her head."You expect me to say yes, don't you? You expect me to agree and tell you, 'its ok Serena, you did the right thing.'"she narrowed her eyes, surprising her."Well think again. You won't find any understanding, any help here."she turned to leave. Serena caught up with her, blocked her way out of the room."Please, don't leave like this. I.....I could barely go through with what happened last night....I can't handle this anger from you too." "Its always about you Serena. Always! You can never stop to think about Darien, and how long he's waited for you. It hurt you to tell him last night? Well imagen how much it hurt him!"her usually calm blue eyes were on fire with rage."He loves you, really, trully loved you! And you just threw that away because you thought it was time you were on the market again." Serena could feel her own temper rising."Watch it Amy." "I have nothing more to say to you. If your leaving, go then. Leave! Turn your back on what could have been everything, on what could have meant the world in here."she thumped a hand over her heart, watched Serena stalk back to her suitcase, toss a few more things in it, then snap it shut."What are you doing?" "What does it look like?"she snapped back, hauling the suitcase up, grabbing her smaller one where all her accessories were and marching out of the room, Amy on her heels."I'm leaving, exactly like you just said I should." Amy's anger was quick to come and just as quick to go, and she could feel desperation to keep Serena there now."No, you can't do this. You'll break him, he'll fall apart." "Like you said, I'm a selfish person."she quickly went down the stairs, picked up her passport and flight ticket, stuffing them in her purse."I only care about myself."she took her car keys from her purse and walked outside into the sun, closing and locking the front door when Amy was outside with her. She began walking toward her car when Amy planted herself in front of her."Now what?" "Is there no love for him in your heart? Do you feel nothing?"she asked quietly. Serena thought of him, thought of how happy she was with him, how her heart seemed to overflow when he merely gave her that cocky grin or said her name."I feel nothing."she pushed past her and tossed her suitcases into the car, went around and got in the drivers side. She sat there a moment, almost leaned forward and placed her head on the steering wheel just to let herself have a good cry. Instead, she looked at Amy."Am, I'm sorry about this, about how things worked out. I never wanted to hurt your brother, but I never made him any promises either."she turned the car on."I'll call you when I get to Italy." "Are you sure about this Serena?" "Yes, I'm sure."putting her sunglasses on, she swung the car around and drove down the long driveway, toward the gates, until she was out of the estate and out of sight. Amy didn't go back to the office. Instead she called and told her secretary to cancel all of her appointments for the rest of the day and reschedule them, then she promptly dialed Lita's cell phone number, praying she wasn't yet out of reach. When she picked up she nearly shouted with joy, but instead informed her on everything that had happened in the past few days since her departure. Lita, as expected, began shouting in immediate rage. After sometime Amy managed to calm her and ask her if she could perhaps cut the assignment short, if she could go meet Serena in Italy. "I'll pull some strings and see what I can do."Lita was silent a moment and Amy could almost hear her vibrating with rage."But I will meet her there, you can count on that." "Good. I've got to go, I'm on my way to see Darien. God, we have to fix this Lita, I know she loves him, but she's terrified." she kept her eyes on the road as she drove."If we leave it up to them, Darien will just turn into a mindless robot and Serena will be forever miserable." "Oh trust me, I'll take care of her. You check out your brother. I gotta go now so I'll call you the moment I'm in Italy." "All right, bye Lita."she hung up just as she pulled up onto the wharf, where she parked some feet down from Darien's boatshed. She knew without a doubt he was in there, probably moping or working his heartache away. She walked in, went to his office, and found him sitting there with his head in his hands, a small box opened in front of him, which she relaized contained there grandmothers wedding ring."Oh Darien."was all she could manage, her heart breaking for him. He looked up at her and she gasped at the sight of the deep sorrow in his eyes."She left me last night Amy. She just....walked out without even looking back." "She didn't know what she was doing Darien, she's frightened right now, terrified-" "Bullshit!"he suddenly shouted, surprising her so much she took a full step back when he shot to his feet."She knew exactly what she was doing! You weren't there! You didn't see the look in her eyes. She acted like she was swatting a fly, getting rid of something that had been bothering her for months!" "Darien, please calm down. Don't-" "I thought I was actually making her care, I thought I had been making progress with her. I thought...."his anger deflated as suddenly as it had come, causing him to fall back and sit heavily in his chair,"I thought she was beginning to love me." Amy realized in that second that that was the cause of Serena's sudden departure. She hadn't been able to read anything in Serena's eyes, except for a split second when a sadness had entered her eyes. Could it have meant she loved him and didn't really want to leave him? She wouldn't say a word to Darien about her suspicions. She would have to leave it up to Lita. For now all she could do was offer her brother the support he needed. Serena arrived in Italy and was met by Ken at the airport. He stood there dressed casually, shaking his head as she approached."Don't say a word to me about it. I've been through hell the last forty eight hours."she let him take her luggage, grateful. "Fine. I'll let you hear me out once you've gotten some rest."he turned and she followed him out of the airport, out into the sun where he led her to his car. She feel asleep on the way to the hotel, dreamed of home and Darien. She imagened the night she had surprised him with a gift, remembered how pleased and awed he'd been. She awoke because Ken was leaning into the car on her side, standing and studying her. She looked around and realized they were parked before the hotel and a bellboy was taking her cases from the back. She glanced back at Ken and saw he was frowning deeply."Are you all right?"his blue eyes were filled with worry. She raised her hand to her cheek and felt it was damp with tears. She'd been crying in her sleep."I'm fine."she climbed out of his car, stood and saw most of the staff and the executive director stood outside the hotel, waiting for her."Did you arrange a committee for me?" "They wanted to see you. They won't bother you though, don't worry. Just pretend you don't speak Italian."he muttered to her, leading her toward the group. "Thats pretty hard to do since I just spoke with the executive director two days ago."but she only gave them a small smile as she allowed Ken to lead her past them and up to the condo's, where her luggage waited and a large, warm bed. She collapsed on the bed and was instantly asleep. She awoke hours later, when the sun was setting outside her window and her eyes were no longer so gritty and swollen from lack of sleep. But they continued to burn from the tears she had yet to release. On that she was firm. She wouldn't cry. She had done the right thing. "Lita called while you were sleeping."she jumped when Ken spoke from a chair that was set near the sliding doors that led out into the balcony."I spoke with her for a few moments."he failed to mention that hearing her voice had set tingles running along his spine. There was something in the smoky sound of it. She wanted to go back to sleep, wanted to shut reality out for just another few hours."What did she say?" He ran his tongue along his teeth, amused at the memory."What didn't she say, is the better thing to ask." "Oh God. I can just imagen."she sat up and rubbed her eyes."She's coming, isn't she?" "I did manage to understand that out of most of the shouting. I guess I'll finally get to meet your friend." "Yea."she stood and stretched, looked back at him."I'm tempted to take off somewhere else. I wonder how Carroway Boston is doing. Or even Carroway Paris."she shook her head."But I'm dreaming. If I ran from Lita, she'd kill me." "I think she's already of a mind too."he stood and stretched himself."She sounds really sexy, even when she's yelling." She looked back at him sharply."Is that interest I hear?" "Is she as hot as she sounds?" "Better." "I may be in love then."he chuckled at the thought."Hasn't she always been wild though?" "As wild and untamed as the sea. Amy says she has a restless soul."she stopped and glared at him."I don't know why I'm telling you this." "Its information that might serve me in the future."he raised a dark brow."Your not trying to make me forget you have some explaining to do, are you? What made you leave Darien?" She sighed heavily."I should have known you would want me to tell you about it." "I do. But I won't tell you your an idiot until I've at least heard why you did it." She explained to him what happened and how she did it, but he waited patiently for the reason."You still haven't told me why." She began to pace."Does there always have to be a reason?" "Serena, when you told me how things were going between you and Darien, you were always happy. Now if someone's happy in a relationship then there's usually a good reason for them to dump there partner the way you did."he crossed his strong arms over his chest, considered her."Unless of course you did it because you were afraid of what your feeling for him."he saw by the small flicker of reaction that he was right."So it was fear then." She shook her head."It was because I wanted to do it. It was MY choice."she emphasized this by thumping a hand on her chest. "Your right. Your totally and completely right. It was your choice. But I guess the question now is whether or not your regretting that choice." When she thought about it, she regretted it with all her heart, but in her life, her mind had always ruled over her emotions."It will fade with time. Everything does."she whispered. "Spoken like a true cold hearted bitch."he laughed when she looked at him."This won't fade Serena, trust me. You've just made the mistake of your life." Lita arrived the day that Ken had to leave. Problems had arisen unexpectedly at Carroway Paris and he had had to go himself because Lita would be coming that day to speak with Serena. He'd left regretfully, hoping this time to meet her, but unable too again. It had been two weeks since her break up with Darien and she had been holding up quite well. She hadn't thought of him, she had been filling her days with working at the offices and overseeing the orchards they had in Italy. She hadn't broken down and cried, she hadn't let herself, even when she was in the privacy of her rooms. What did puzzle her was that she hadn't been able to go out with any other men. Of course they paid attention to her, but she didn't want there attentions. Handsome men in business suits, men that reaked money and elegance and were brutally handsome. When she looked at them all she saw was Darien's handsome face, full of pain and hate the day she had walked out on him. Lita didn't tell her when she would be arriving, she refused too. Instead she showed up at the hotel, where Serena stood in the lobby surrounded by most of the men overseeing the construction on another hotel being built somewhere else in Italy. When she looked up and into her eyes across the room, something finally broke inside her. Without a word to the other men, she walked to her friend, the tears that had been held back for so long finally coming. She broke down, crying on her friend and holding onto her as if she was her lifeline."I'm sorry....I'm so sorry....." Lita held her, felt the anger she'd been holding for the past two weeks fade."Its killing you what you did Serena. Why did you do it?" She shook her head."I hurt him. I can't forget the way he looked at me....he hates me now." Lita thought of her last phone call with him and how bitter he'd sounded, but how he had stubbornly avoided the subject of Serena."He has reason to, you have to admit. Come on, lets go get you fixed up and talk about this." They went back to Serena's rooms, where Lita wiped her tears away and watched as she reapplied her make-up."So talk then. I'm understanding to a point, but I want to hear what made you do it." She sighed as she fixed her mascara."It was time to end it. This was the first real relationship I'd been in since Chad Henry and it lasted longer then even that one did. I needed to move on, go back to....being me."saying it now, it sounded like the most idiotic of reasons. She could see Lita was thinking the same thing."First of all, Darien loves you Serena, which makes it completely different then it was with Chad Henry. You two were only together for the sex. But Darien has always loved you. And you, well. You've always loved him too, I think you just pushed it away because it scared you." "Thats not true. I don't love him, I never did. I-" Lita held up her hand and stopped her."You can't lie to me or Amy. We knew. We didn't know that something had happened that night of her party, but we knew something had changed in you and him. You tried hiding it by staying away from him and he wasn't too good at hiding it since he was always so depressed and cranky the weeks that followed." She had known, even then, that something in Darien was dangerous for her and she had to keep away from him. Perhaps that he would be the one to fight past her barriers and get inside was what she had known. "He hates me now, he has too. I gave him no logical reason except that I was bored with him, with us, and I wanted out."she snapped her compact shut."I've tried not to think about it, tried not to miss him, but....its hard."she looked down. Lita sat next to her, took her hand."Serena, I've never felt love for any man in my life like you must be feeling for Darien. The only love I have I give to you and Amy. You two are the only people I can actually call my family. And Darien too. But if I were to feel what you must be feeling for Darien, then I wouldn't push it away, I would take it. Because to me it would be a miracle to find someone I can actually open my heart too." Serena watched Lita's usually green eyes shadow."Why don't you give Chad Henry a chance?" She laughed, quick and bitter."Chad Henry, please. I don't care for him. I can't. I just can't and I wish he'd understand that." Serena was thoughtful a moment."Ken is dying to meet you. He sounds pretty interested." She stood quickly and walked across the room, to look outside."How can he be interested in me when all he's done is talk to me over the phone?"she thought of there conversation, recalled how he'd moved something inside her, a vital something no one had ever been able to even touch. "Sometimes the heart recognizes before the eyes do." Lita looked at her sharply."Follow your own advice then." "Ouch, point taken."and for the first time since walking away from him, she smiled and genuinely meant it."Thanks for coming Lita." "I didn't come for you, I came for him."when Serena continued grinning, she huffed and crossed her arms over her chest."Fine, so I did." "Its good to know that I'll always have my two sisters to depend on." Darien stood watching the sunset outside on the balcony of his rooms in his home, the wind blowing fiercely, whipping through his hair, his eyes a deep blue and squinted against the last rays of the day. And in that sunset he saw her face, gorgeous and calm, cool and clear and uncaring to him and his needs. He saw her filled with passion as they made love, laughing at something he had said, happy and content when she was with her two closest friends, Amy and Lita. He'd never forget the way she had looked when she had walked out the doors of his home, the way her eyes hadn't wavered, the way she had looked down her nose at him when he had told her he loved her. He had thought that with her leaving him he would fall apart. He was sure nothing would matter, that everything that had would lose its light. But he'd gone on, he'd kept going. He'd survived. He left his home and went down to the boatyard, worked with his men until his muscles were sore and he was streaked with sweat. He sanded with them until they pulled him off and told him to cool off, to take a break. He obeyed because his muscles screamed at the thought of a rest. He stood outside on the wharf, sipping a soda and looking out at the crashing waves of Monterey, when he felt someone was watching him. He turned and saw a tall man, a man his height approaching him. "Thats a hell of a view."the man commented, nodding to the darkness that was the ocean. Darien grunted."Yea. Do I know you?" "Well we know of each other. I'm Kennedy Steele, the executive vice president of Carroway Hotels. Call me Ken though, please."he held out his hand. He took his hand and shook it."Darien Stanford. She told me about you before when we-"frowning, he looked down. Ken was quiet a moment."Does telling you she's just as miserable help?" "Some, but it also makes it worse."he ran a hand through his hair, frustrated."If she's miserable, then why did she leave me in the first place?" "Women,"Ken said with some disgust,"you can't live with them, can't live without them." They were silent again, the air between them filled with the unjustice of female rejection. "So did you come all the way from Italy just to tell me that?"he took another long drink from his soda. "I was in the neighborhood and I decided to stop by and meet you. Serena thinks I'm in Paris and I'll just let her keep right on thinking that."he rubbed the back of his neck a moment."Would you be willing to forgive her for what she's done?" "Has she been with another man?"the thought had been burning through his mind since she left him. If Ken answered yes, he was sure he'd kill the bastard. "No, actually, she hasn't. And don't get me wrong, its not as if she hasn't had tons of offers, she just.....doesn't seem interested."which was a huge sign to him. Some of the hurt faded."Thats reassuring to hear." "Look, I know this may be asking a lot, but why don't you go after her?" Darien shook his dark head."No. No way. I was the one that did everything first with her before. If she wants to come back, then thats up to her."but just the thought of holding her again made him ache. Ken nodded and looked out at the ocean, then spotted someone approaching them from the darkness out of the corner of his eye. He turned toward the figure, waited while the large man stepped into the light, revealing black hair and eyes, a dangerous look about him, something almost violent in his movements. But it was in the eyes that Ken saw a calmness, a detachment that kept him from seeming like an attacker. Darien glanced up, his eyes widening at the sight."Greg!"he stepped forward and gave him a hard hug, pulling back to stare at him."I didn't know you'd be here so soon." "I thought I'd get here a bit early to see what was going on with this boatshed of yours."his eyes cut over the darkness, surveying everything as a cat might, ready to leap at any moment should something jump from the shadows."I got here a little late though." "I'll show you around tomorrow morning. Oh Ken, Gregory Knight. Greg, Kennedy Steele. Greg is going to be my main overseer here while I'm at the office and co-owner of Stanford Boats. Well actually, it will be Stanford and Knight Boats soon. Ken here is the executive vice president of Carroway Hotels."Darien explained while the two men shook hands. Greg nodded to him."Call me Greg." "All right Greg, you call me Ken." Greg glanced around again."So where's this woman of yours Darien? Serena Carroway, right? I've heard of her looks all the way down to Rome."he realized he'd touched a sore spot the moment the words were out. Darien's face hardened and Ken shuffled his feet uncomfortably. He ran his tongue around his teeth."Ahh, bad choice of words?" "Serena left me over two weeks ago."Darien's voice was clipped. Greg glanced at Ken, who rolled his eyes at him."I see. Well, shit....you want to go get something to drink?" Darien laughed, felt some of the tension flow away."Thats the best idea I've heard in two weeks. How about it Ken?" "Count me in. I haven't gotten a good buzz for a while." "You guys want me to tell you this story about this dancer I met in Spain, and how I had to climb out of her balcony in the middle of the night butt naked when her husband came home?"Greg spoke first and was answered by the two men's chuckles, the night air carrying there laughs and the beginning of a night full of drinking and telling stories full of lies. Serena came home with Lita two days after her friend had arrived in Italy to see her. They came off the plane and into the Monterey airport, people rushing and milling about them, but both of them only saw the small woman with lovely, cool features who waited for them. Amy went forward, to Serena first, and hugged her friend."I'm glad you came back."she was still a bit afraid to ask what it could mean. "Thanks Am. I'm sorry about the way I left you."she pulled back to let Amy and Lita hug as well."And I'm glad I'm back too." They drove home and she was happy that she had meant what she said, that she had allowed Lita to talk her into coming back. This was home, the winding roads of Monterey, the fierce winds that swept up from the beachs, where the waves crashed against rocks and the sound of the sea filled the air. "How is he?"Serena asked, stalling the argument Lita and Amy had been having. Amy was quiet a moment."Well, he's actually doing better lately. A few days ago an old friend of his....a Gregory Knight, came to help him with the boatshed. It seems they'll be working together from now on."she hadn't met him, but Ken had come by to see her and said only good things."And Ken is back in town. He came back the same day as Mr. Knight." That had her straightening her back."Ken? Here? He told me he was in Paris." Lita grinned from the back seat, amused at them all."Looks like I can finally meet good ol Kenny." "Apparently he finished business rather early."Amy smoothly change lanes."He, Darien, and Mr. Knight have been spending a lot of time together since they all came back." "I'm going to kill Ken."Serena knew exactly what he had come back here for. She was so angry she didn't notice when Amy headed for the Stanford Estate rather then her own. She stiffened and sat up straight in her seat, eyes widening when they turned into the drive and started up. "Amy, what the hell are you doing?!"panicked suddenly, she gripped her seat. "I need to get something I left here. You don't mind, do you?"she spoke before Serena could snap back."Good, I'll just be quick and you can wait in the car if you like. I'm sure Darien isn't home." Lita snickered when they pulled up in front of the house, both of his cars parked before it."Luck of the draw blondie, he's home."she clucked her tongue when the front doors opened and he came out."Major luck of the draw." She hadn't realized you could miss someone as much as she had missed him, and so many emotions, so many came flooding to her in an intstant that she felt her chest would swell and burst with them. Seeing him, wearing a white shirt and jeans, looking so gorgeous and exactly as she had left him, caused her to nearly swallow her tongue. He glanced up and for just a moment she saw so much love and joy cloud his eyes, she was overwhelmed. But it faded as quickly as it had come, replaced with a cool, calculated look. Amy and Lita watched the exchange, watched the way Serena's eyes had lit at the sight of him and the way Darien had looked as if he wanted to run and gather her close, never letting her go."Well."Lita tapped her fingers against the back of Amy's seat, leaning on it as she watched."There's the bell. Round one is about to begin." Amy climbed out and walked around the car."Darien, I didn't know you'd be here."she made sure to keep her voice sweet. He merely snorted in reply."I see she's back already. I was sure she'd have stayed away longer this time."he spoke loud and clear, making sure Serena heard since her window was rolled down. That hurt, but she refused to let him see."This is my home too Darien. If I want to come back, then thats my business." Seeing her so perfect, so untouched by the raging emotions he felt inside, made him unnaturally angry."I guess its because I'm used to seeing you run from it. Or me, is more like it." Anger snuck past the hurt, but she kept a hold on it."I don't run from anything or anyone." "Are you headed to the boatyard Darien?"Amy could see this plan had somehow backfired. She glanced to Lita for help and saw her friend was delighted by the whole thing. He stuck his thumbs in his pockets, squinted against the sun at Serena."Don't run? Where have you been the past seven years then?" Her blue eyes flashed a warning now."Where have you?"she shot back, meaning how he had run from home as well after the night of Amy's eighteenth party, staying away for years because of her. That statement brought him to halt, but it was only for a split second."I face something when its cornering me, I don't run and hide."his tone had turned vicious now. "So do I."she bit back. "Then why the hell did you run off to Italy like that except to hide from me again?!"he exploded, so loud and so angry he didn't notice Amy take a step back from him. "I told you, it was over! I told you that night!"she snapped. He moved fast, slapped his hands on the car and brought his face close to hers."I don't believe you."he smirked, cold and mocking."I believe you found someone else to take my place." "You bastard."she whispered, her temper firing up as she flung the car door open, sending him stepping back with that smirk still on his face."You stupid son of a bitch."she slammed the door behind her, facing him with all the fury she felt."Who the hell do you think you are?!" "Serena, Darien-"Amy moved to come between them, but Lita shot out of the car and held her back."We have to stop this." "No, we have to let it happen. Its been building up inside of them for the past two weeks, maybe even the past seven years."she nodded and watched with a smile."Its time to let them go at it Am." "Who the hell am I?"he raised his brows at her."Me?! Who the hell are you to leave me the way you did, without a reason, without so much as a logical one so I could at least know what it was I did wrong!" "I didn't have to give you an explanation!"she shouted back, advancing on him and jabbing a finger at him."If I wanted to walk, I could! You have no right to-" "I took on the right when I fell in love with you!"he gripped her shoulders in his hands, nearly lifted her off her feet."Maybe you felt nothing, but I felt everything for you. Everything! Do you understand that in that cold hearted little body of yours?!"disgusted, he threw her from him."No, you don't. Nothing can get past the ice you've surrounded yourself with." Some part of her new he was right, and somewhere inside, that ice finally began to melt."I'm not a cold person. I have feelings too."she said softly. He was angry, furious, nearly vibrating with it, but the sadness that had entered Serena's eyes had him fumbling, confused suddenly and not knowing how to react."Well you sure put on a good act." The sarcasm in his tone enraged her once again."Just because I'm not as free with my emotions like you are, doesn't mean I don't have any!"she poked her finger into him again, had his eyes widening and stepping back."Don't you dare assume my feelings for me Darien! Don't assume to know I don't love you, that I feel nothing for you." So much hope filled him, but he was cautious, knowing what he said and did now could determine the rest of there lives."Is that right?"he made sure to keep his voice light. "Damn right thats right! It was so easy for you, its always been so easy for you. Even seven years ago, I know you felt what was different between us and you weren't afraid. But I was!"she pointed to herself."I was only eighteen years old and I was already feeling something so huge inside, something that could consume me and take over. And I didn't want the control taken from me. I still don't want the control taken."she quieted somewhat and pleaded with her eyes for him to understand."I need to know that every one of my feelings is in my hands, that I don't have to worry about trusting someone else so much, or being hurt." He itched to take her in his arms, to hold her and rock her, soothe the nerves away, but he knew it wasn't yet time to reach for her."I would never hurt you Serena."he didn't notice when Lita and Amy withdrew, finally leaving them alone. She looked up into his eyes, deep, dark eyes that seemed to fill her mind more then anything these days."I know you wouldn't."without realizing it, she reached for him, took his hands in hers and held tight."I know you wouldn't, but I'm so afraid of everything thats inside me. Its so much and so huge, I just don't know what to do with it." "Maybe you could start by explaining it to me."he kept his voice gentle, although what he wanted to do was shout with joy. She blew out a breath, sighed."I think....I mean....."she shut her eyes tight, knew when the words were spoken lives changed, began again,"I'm in love with you." He could have sworn he heard a song on the wind, of joy and forever afters, but it was her eyes, the smoky blue of them, that he stared into as his world seemed to revolve."I can't breathe."he managed. She laughed through the tightening in her stomache, felt everything smooth away at the immense joy on his face."Why is it I always manage to leave you speechless?"she tossed her long, silvery hair over her shoulder."I guess its a gift." He narrowed his eyes on her."And I guess loving me hasn't made you any less concieted." "When you got it,"she ran a hand down her hip, made his mouth water,"you flaunt it. And don't tell me you don't agree."she fluttered her lash's at him, egging him on. "I didn't fall in love with you for your looks Serena, but...."he finally pulled her to him, ran his own hands down that glorious body,"knowing me, you'd understand that I consider it a bonus." She gripped his arms."So you still do? Even after everything I put you through, all the pain?" "I never stopped, not for a moment. But I have yet to hear you apologize."his raised a brow at her. "I should have known you wouldn't let it go. All right, all right, I'm sorry."when he kept staring at her, she glared at him."I'm sorry, I am! What else do you want me to say? I'm not going to get on my hands and knees and beg."miffed, she crossed her arms over her chest. On a shout of laughter, he swung her into his arms, kissing her despite her protests."Your the one for me Serena, your the only woman I could ever love. God, I love you."he kissed her once again, holding her, enjoying how she relaxed against him and sank in. "Its not so bad."she whispered, letting her love for him fill her. "No, its not."he put her down and reached into his pocket, where he had carried his grandmothers wedding ring for two weeks, almost as if he had been waiting for her to come to her senses."I have something for you." She flashed a grin, so beautiful and full of mischief he took a moment to blink."Oh really?"she pressed herself closer to him. "She's not back ten minutes and she'd already driving me nuts. No, Serena, keep a hold on that for now."he got on one knee, glad this would be here in front of his home. No, their home."I need you to know you can trust me, you can depend on me, just as I want to be able to depend on you. I want to take care of you and be taken care of."he slid the ring on her finger, watched her eyes go round with wonder."Will you marry me Serena?" She'd never thought she could find someone to love, never believed a dream she'd had in her heart since childhood would actually come true."Darien, I want you to know that even though I always ran from love, always turned it away, it was a dream of mine to one day find it, really find it. The way my parents are, the way yours are."she took a breath."Yes, I'll marry you."she laughed when he once again took her in his arms, held her and kissed her."I found you....I found my dream....." The End By:SailorPerfect Author's Last Notes:This is the end to the first in the Reflections Trilogy, "Reflections of Dreams." Now the next in the trilogy is the story of Amy Stanford and Gregory Knight, "Reflections of Hope." Imagen lovely, cool Amy meeting someone as rough and dangerous as Gregory Knight. They say 'opposites attract' right? Well watch it happen when Amy, for the first time in her life, goes out with someone who isn't from a polished and rich background. Stay tuned guys!~sailorperfect@yahoo.com |