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Stabbed: The Pain of Betrayal

Forever, definition: meaning to the end of time; without ending; eternally.

Funny how preschoolers are able to keeps things more to the definitive term when compared to any other grade.

It appears the minute you hit middle school and high school the definition of forever some how rearranges itself to I'll stick with you until I find something better to do.

I entered Preschool in the fall of 1985. 

My stomach was filled with anticipation as my mother walked me through the double doors of that church.  

My hazel eyes hungrily began to absorb my new surrounding, white walls towered up to the sky, and rainbow laced finger paintings seemed to let me know I was more than welcome here.  

My chubby little nose twitched eagerly as I recognized the familiar aroma of chocolate chip cookies.  

I immediately released my mother's hand and made a mad dash towards the smell.

I hurled myself around every obstacle, nothing on this earth could keep this four-year-old from reaching her private heaven. 

When I finally skidded to a stop at my destination, my eyes misted with disappointed tears. I had arrived too late. 

Every last crumb appeared to have been devoured.   

"You can have some of mine." a tiny voice chirped.  

My blurred vision cleared to reveal the voice's owner.  

She was a small-framed girl, her every feature greatly contrasted my own.  

Dark tan skin, flat black hair and two dark orbs that seemed to sparkle brighter than any rare jewel. 

 In her extended hand, she held a half-eaten cookie.  

I eagerly accepted the gift as any small child would and then embraced this newfound angel tightly.

My angel not only had a face but a name, Jennifer.   

Each day with her felt like it was heaven spent, I felt truly blest for God had sent me my own personal angel I could call a friend. 

"You and I are going to be friends forever!" she exclaimed one day while we were playing by the swings. 

 I realized how special I was, for she was the best thing to happen to me since someone decided to put tomato sauce and cheese on bread and call it pizza.  

She had made a promise to stick with me forever.  

I was overjoyed and delighted to accept this binding contract.

Hours soon turned into days, day to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years. 

Jennifer and I soon entered the 5th grade.  

Truly we placed our feet on the stepping stones that would mark the path to our future, and I thought for sure that forever promise would stick close to our hearts.  

As I entered my classroom, I realized some things would never change as a hackle chorus of immature apes began their target practice.  

Each name they addressed to me struck true, but I refused to give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry.  

I turned to address the fiends to let them see I would not be the standard victim.  

My heart broke into a thousand pieces as I recognized Jennifer's face standing amongst their ranks.  I believe it was this moment out of any other in my life that I truly understood Caesar's mental wanderings as Brutus plunged the dagger into his breast.  

I watched through tear filled eyes as the forever contract was broken into a thousand shards and the tournament of name calling continued.

When I returned home with a vacant look, my perceptive mother quickly noticed something was troubling me. 

 When she questioned me I could no longer contain myself; I poured my heart out to her as I wrapped myself around her waist. 

"Kids can be cruel," my mother told me as she drew me closer to her side to wipe the salty tears from my reddened cheeks. 

 Kids yes, but friends impossible.  

Why did she do this to me?   

Why did my angel friend desert me?   

Was it something I said, or did?  

This new found logic soon shattered my innocent perception of forever. 

I know share some classes with her in the jungle known as high school. 

 Sometimes she smiles at me across the way and offers to lend a hand.  

I politely and quickly return a fake grin and refuse her poisoned soaked offer.

  Yes, I do understand people can change, but so does forever.
Source: geocities.com/sailorwind82
