If you're reading this, well, shucks, I'm flattered. You probably don't care about my favorite foods (Thai green curry chicken), what school I went to (Concordia, in Montreal), or how many times I've puked from drinking too much (zero. Not that I don't drink, mind you . . .). So I'll tell you my Buffy story.

I entered the Buffyverse at season 5. I think the first ep I saw was the one where Xander gets split in two, "The Replacement." I was hooked immediatly (Hello? Written by Jane Espenson. Need I say more? Well except: "It's a robot. It's an evil robot constructed from evil parts that look like me designed to do evil." Oh and: Riley: "What are you doing here, Spike?" Spike: "Oh, there's a nice lady vampire who's set up a tea room over by the next pile of crap. What do you think I'm doing?" Ah, Spike. It was love at first sarcastic remark.

To me, now Angel and Buffy are classics no less worthy of my adoration than The Catcher in The Rye or The Chronicles of Narnia or The Picture of Dorian Gray. I never thought of myself as one of those fanatic types who actually buys DVDs of shows that are readily available to watch in syndication. Now, I say: "We must think of the future! Of our children!" (also, no ads. Yah!) Perhaps, 15 years from now, when I show my children their first episode, they'll think it's pretty cheesy and cheap. The special effects will be the shits, and the makeup will appear amateur. But, oh they'll still laugh at the funny parts and cry at the sad parts. Because it's not about a tv show. It's about great literature.

I started Return Policies in may or so of 2003. That was my first fanfic. I'm still not finished. I have a lot of conflicting feelings about writing fanfiction. The problem is that I used to write original fiction. I was in a creative writing class, and wrote a buch of short stories. Some of them were pretty good. Now, instead of working on that stuff, trying to get it published and whatnot, I find that I am awash in Spike--this character that intrigues me so, that begs me to delve into his psyche, send him on adventures, and play with his fate.
Writing in this world, I am no longer faced with the daunting excersise of inventing a beautiful, layered, believable and interesting character. I am given one. Sure, I may have to study him, come to understand and appreciate all his smallest quirks, his strengths and his weaknesses. But is that really a bad thing? Come on. It's Spike!

I look at it like this: I write in this world, and use these characters, because they are an inspiration, a learning experience. And one day, hopefully, I will have a world of my own to write in, with characters equally rich and dynamic.