Once upon a time, at that puny little house Goku and his family lived at, Vegeta and Bulma had come for a visit (actually more like Bulma came for a visit dragging the Saiya-jin Prince behind her). Only Goku and ChiChi were home. While ChiChi and Bulma discussed things, Vegeta approached Goku.

"Kakarotto, let’s spar. I can’t stand just sitting here listening to those women."

"Uh… I didn’t eat lunch yet…"

"Shut up."

And so the two Saiya-jins stepped out the door. As soon as they did so, a bright glow lit up the sky and an object crashed right in front of them in a streak of fire.

"Huh?" Said Goku intelligently (not).

Vegeta stared blankly at the smoking crater. Then ChiChi and Bulma came running out the door. Bulma saw the crater and immediately turned to Vegeta.

"AGH! I told you a hundred times not to destroy ChiChi’s property!" She screamed, then jumped on his back and started beating him with her fists.

"HEY! Get off me, woman!!!" Vegeta yelled. ChiChi was about to join the fight, but saw something strange…

"Uh, something is moving in the crater," She said. Everyone paused what they were doing and turned to look.

"It’s a pineapple! Food!" Goku said. The pineapple rolled out of the crater and continued to roll away uphill. The pineapple was blue in color. Goku was about to bite it, but ChiChi held him back.

"It’s a pineapple from outer space! Don’t eat it, you could get a toothache!"

Vegeta pried Bulma off his shoulder and walked over to it. He bent over to look more closely at it, but the pineapple stopped and turned around. Then it seemed to split in half and form an enormous mouth lined with sharp teeth. Vegeta fell back in surprise.

"Eeeeek! Someone shoot it!" Yelled Bulma. Vegeta shot a beam of energy at the pineapple, but it bounced off!

"Uh… can I eat it now?" Asked Goku.

"NO!" Shouted everyone.

ChiChi found a cage in the house and ran back, slamming it over the pineapple.

"I thought we blew up the alien pineapple home planet a long time ago!" Said Vegeta. Everyone turned and stared at him. "Well… when I was under Frieza’s command *mumbles*, we destroyed a planet that had primitive creatures that looked a lot like earth’s pineapples."

"Ok……"

"Shut up!" He yelled. "Nobody knows what this thing might do!"

"Well, maybe we should ask Uranai Baba…"

"Uhg, that ugly old witch? Ok."

Much later…

"Sorry, but my crystal ball is in for repairs (again)."

"Don’t you have any other ways of seeing the future?" Asked Bulma, trying to control the anger in her voice.

"Humph! Maybe… but I don’t feel like bringing it out unless it’s a complete emergency."

"How’s THIS for an emergency!?" Growled Vegeta, forming a ki ball in his hand. Goku pulled his arm back. Vegeta got mad and flew away a few feet. He folded his arms over his chest and watched.

"Well how about THIS than!?" Threatened Bulma, holding up the cage with a snarling blue pineapple in it.

"Ugh! What is that!? Get it away from me! Ok I’ll show you my other future-telling device," She said. Then a mysterious look came over her wrinkled face as she pulled a small container out of her black cloak. The short old woman pried off the cover with some effort. A green light glowed softly, then faded away. Everyone bent forward to look inside, except for Vegeta.

"What is it?"

"It’s…"

"Cottage cheese?"

"Grrr… not just any cottage cheese! This is the cottage cheese of (bum bum BUM) the FUTURE!"

"Uh…"

"Does it work?"

"Of course it works!"

Goku scratched his head and looked at the cottage cheese, which gave off a strange smell.

"Now, who to use the cottage cheese on… hey Goku!" Said Uranai Baba. "Put this in your hand. The way the cottage cheese moves will tell me what will become of the future, thanks to that rotten fruit over there."

"Uh, are you sure it’s a good idea to give it to Goku?" ChiChi said cautiously.

"Don’t worry, it will work on anyone. Now do you want my help or not?" She screeched, dumping the contents of the container on Goku’s palm.

(At this moment, Saiyan Gina’s brain finally comes back to reality. Saiyan Gina says "Huh? Oh my god what am I writing? That’s it! No more Dr. Pepper before bed! Ah, who am I kidding." Then she reaches for another can.)

"What’s this?" Goku asks.

"Moron! Weren’t you listening? It’s cottage cheese!" Vegeta yelled impatiently.

"Food!" Goku shouted with joy. The cottage cheese, which was beginning to ooze out of his hand, was thrust into his mouth.

"NOOOO!!!!" Screamed Uranai Baba.

"What?" Said Goku, cottage cheese dripping from his mouth. Then his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell face-first to the ground.

"Goku!"

"AH! You fools! You don’t know what he’s done!" Said Uranai Baba.

"Ok, what did he do?" Asked Bulma.

"He ate my cottage cheese!"

"Duh, isn’t there anything else wrong, besides the fact that he’s been knocked out? Is there poison in it?"

"Well, no."

"Then why did it knock him unconscious!?"

"I don’t know why!!! You don’t see me eating it, so how should I know! I am just worried if I can buy anymore of it at Wal*Mart!"

"You’re hopeless…" Said Bulma with an angry sigh.

At that point, Goku groaned and started to stand up. ChiChi rushed over to him and helped him to his feet. Uranai Baba yelled at him and waddled away to the Crystal Ball Repair shop.

"Bitch," Mumbled Bulma after Uranai Baba waddled away.

Goku looked around and blinked a few times.

"Kakarotto, you fool! Grr, what is it you earthlings do when you’re mad? Oh… right," Vegeta said, then thrust his index finger skywards.

"Um, Vegeta, it’s the middle finger…" Said Bulma.

"Grrr… damn you!" He muttered then flew away.

Goku looked up suddenly in surprise.

"That pineapple over there is strong," He said. "But in the end we’ll chase it away. I’m not sure how though, yet."

"What? How do you know that?" Asked ChiChi. Goku just shrugged.

"Maybe eating that cottage cheese helped him to-" Bulma started, but was cut off by Goku.

"-see the future" They said at the same time.

"This could get annoying," Said ChiChi.

"Don’t worry, it will wear off in 5 minutes."

"Ack!"

"In fact, it’s not an evil pineapple at all," Goku said reaching his hand through the cage bars.

"Goku, don’t!" Screamed ChiChi, but the pineapple just sniffed Goku’s hand, then licked it. Then it began whimpering like a dog. "See? Isn’t it cute?"

"Uh… yeah."

"Hey, will someone bring me a pillow?"

The dog/pineapple/alien began chewing on something. Then it spat out a pillow!

"Thanks," Said Goku. He placed the pillow on the ground and waited a few seconds. Suddenly, he fell face-first on the pillow.

"Goku?" Asked a panicked ChiChi. After a minute passed, Goku stood up.

"Can you still see the future?" Asked Bulma.

"Huh? What are you talking about? My head hurts. What happened?"

"Never mind…"

The pineapple whimpered. ChiChi opened the cage and it bounced right into her arms, barking with joy.

"EEK!" She said, dropping it. The pineapple just looked at her (or as close as something without visible eyes can) and barked.

"Maybe it wants to go back into space," Said Bulma. The pineapple nodded eagerly. "You want to go out? Huh? Huh?" She said, talking like you would to an eager puppy waiting at the door. The pineapple bounced about, wagging it’s lower half eagerly.

"Wouldn’t it need a spaceship or something?" Asked ChiChi. Suddenly, the pineapple started chewing again.

"ACK! LOOKOUT!!!" Yelled Bulma. ChiChi and Bulma jumped out of the way dragging Goku with them. Right where the stood, the pineapple belched out a giant spaceship!

"I’m still hungry…" Said Goku, unknowing of everything except his hunger. "Can I eat it now?"

"NO!"

"But I’m hungry…"

"You can wait." Said ChiChi. Behind her the pineapple listened carefully, then started chewing again. The it spit out a plate of hamburgers. A bowl of salad. A dish of pizza. The list went on. Goku joyfully began eating faster than the pineapple could spit out food. He ate so fast that the next thing anyone knew, all the food was gone and Goku was holding the pineapple to his mouth without thinking about what he was doing.

"AH! NO! Uh… I need a bowling ball!" Said Bulma quickly. Then the pineapple spit out a bowling ball and it hit Goku in the head. He fell to the ground unconscious again.

"Good, that ought to keep your husband out of the way for a while. You need to buy him a leash, Chi-Chi."

"I can’t find any leashes that fit around his thick neck! I can’t buy him a harness either, because his man boobs are too big. I just have to carry him around in a kennel and fence him in the yard."

"That sucks, I just lure Vegeta around with Kitty Yum Yum treats. He fits in a harness too."

"You know, I always wondered how you raised your husband with such a shiny black coat on his head," Said ChiChi.

"Personally, I wondered how you got your husband such a healthy figure," Said Bulma.

ChiChi and Bulma then walked away, forgetting all about the pineapple and discussing husband-raising tips.

What happened later: The pineapple got bored of waiting for ChiChi and Bulma to come back, so it robbed a grocery store. It spat a grenade out in aisle 3 and stole a bunch of fruits and vegetables. It also kidnapped the guy sweeping the aisles. The grocery store exploded, killing hundreds of thousands. The pineapple also dragged Goku onto the ship. The grocery store worker was forced to operate the ship and fly to Mars, where the pineapple eloped with a zucchini. The two lovers had the grocery store worker’s scalp for a wedding cake. The next day, Goku was eaten and Vegeta died of boredom, but nobody could have cared less. ChiChi and Bulma became successful farmers and raised large herds of husbands, earning them millions. Krillin DID end up in the shoe selling business, but eventually he was kidnapped and was never seen again, although he was reportedly seen milling around in the herds of husbands. Nobody really knows and nobody cares because he wasn't in this story anyways.