I would like to start off by saying this: I really don’t believe in that crap about a chubby white cat growing one of the rarest and most useful gardens in the world. Cats are very arrogant beasts, they wouldn’t lift a paw for work or share edibles if their 9 damned lives depended on it. Especially not this cat, he’s too busy with Yajirobe all night long. You know what I’m implying, all you sick bastards out there *waves*. Hehehe, Karen is a female name.

So this leaves the ultimate question. . . WHO in the hell grew the senzu beans, and, for that matter, gave credit to that fat and unworthy white blob?! Let’s look at the suspects, now shall we?

First of all, the man I hate with a passion, Goku. He wouldn’t share food. Never. And grow beans? I think not. He doesn’t know how to do anything but eat, sleep, and kick ass. Need I say more?

Goten? See above.

Next is Vegeta. We all know he’s a chain smoker just by hearing his voice, much like a deranged bear choking on a rabid sea urchin. I’m surprised his teeth aren’t black and rotted as an old chunk of horrid school lunch. Maybe it’s a Saiya-Jin thing, or maybe he wears dentures. So, I am saying this, because if he tried to grow a plant, it would die in seconds thanks to the tobacco smoke. Yeeeck!!

I guess that explained why Trunks is such an idiot and a wuss. I think I’ll skip him.

Next up is Yamcha. He’s too FAT and LAZY to grow beans.

Now, we shall consider Chibi Gohan. Chi-Chi would beat him with a stick if he did anything besides studying.

Next, could Chi-Chi be the one? Nah, she’d be too busy beating Gohan with a stick.

What about Bulma? She wouldn’t grow the bean, she’d dissect and study the seed, thus making it completely useless.

Pan would try to so she could impress Trunks, but then she’d blow it off and throw it away. Go figure.

Bra would try to buy a pre-grown plant in a store, but then see that nobody sells it anywhere and give up.

Gee, we’re running out of victims- er. . . . I meant. . . suspects.

Scratches the Cat is a near-perfect match, but it wouldn’t dare leave Dr. Briefs for a second. Some say it’s because Scratches is actually a growth on his shoulder.

Shenlong or Porunga? Could it be that the cat wished for an endless supply of magic beans? I doubt that, because Shenlong and Porunga tend to be very impatient dragons, wanting to get wishes over with A.S.A.P., so they can get back to their keg party inside the magic circus balls and resume getting drunk.

Piccolo can’t eat. Forget those episodes seen where he eats some beans to be "healthy and strong". I’ll bet he just sucked out the juices and spat the rest out. So why would he have a garden? My point exactly.

Tien and Chaotzu are too busy spending quality bonding time together improving their relations in a romantic, remote area.

King Kai would just try to tell jokes to the plant, killing it instantly, then feed the withered remains to his love monkey.

The Ginyu Force (shaddap! They’re not dead! They’re actually alive!) would destroy the plant for not posing with them correctly.

Frieza is forever traumatized by the sight of beans (read: Frieza Beans) and wouldn’t go near them for the universe. So that leaves Frieza out.

#16 would feed the plant to starving wild animals, so he’s excluded.

Why do you think #17 wears an orange bib?

Cell would absorb the plant so he can be buff and have sexy lips.

Mrs. Briefs (Bulma's mom) would season her tea with it, since she can’t see anything. Other than that, she’d try to grow them in her hair, which wouldn’t work at all.

Mr. Satan would force the plant to bow to him, making it snap in half and killing it.

Krillin, "AAAHHH!!! It’s shiny, like Frieza!!! I have to keep it from taking over the universe! Destructo Disk!" *BZZzzZZzzZZzzZZzz*

Am I falling off the subject? Well too bad!

Zarbon would try to braid the vines to look like his lovely hair, making it unable to grow.

Master Roshi is a moron.

That’s about it, since I’m too lazy to mention #18. So, WHO grew the senzu beans?!?! Well. . . there is ONE person left. . . MR. POPO!!!

Mr. Popo is the perfect match. Some say that senzu beans can only grow at high altitudes, and Kami’s Lookout is certainly as high as it gets! (You better watch out, because Kami is pretty ‘high’ too.) Besides, Mr. Popo and his trusty watering can take care of any garden, Mr. Popo’s best talent. Isn’t he perfect? Too bad that stupid cat steals the beans from him and gives them away for ‘good causes’! CAT!!!

The angry mob will now precede with flaming torches and flying dinosaurs to Karen’s Tower. All bow to Mr. Popo, supreme gardener of the universe! Fwahaha!